After a few weeks I tried to change myself. Dyed my hair a little darker. Tried to smile more. Saved more money up. I slowed down my drinking. I stopped my medication still. I tried to approve my attitude and temper. I am sitting in Carls room laying with Xan. Lips ex fling left her behind. She clings to me good.
She was sleeping peacefully. Lip was on the computer on the other bed. I was scrolling on my phone. "I texted her" Lip spoke. I looked up and raised a brow. "What did she say?" I asked. "Nothing yet". How could you just leave someone like this? I would never understand.
Today was Brads weeding. I have been hanging out with Lip since Carl has been gone. Xan woke up. "Hey are you hungry?" Lip jumped the gun. "She just woke up Lip let her stretch first!" I laughed. I had this old sparkly dress I could no longer wear I was going to let her have.
Xan loved to take pictures on my phone. It was cute. "Okay Tessa we need to go now you are going to make us late!" Lip instructed. "Just one more picture!" Xan cried. "Come get in it Lip!" I told him. "No-" "Come on!" He walked over and smiled. "Awe it is so cute!" I told them. "Okay bye see you guys later!" "Bye love ya" "Love ya!"
I heard Franny cry. I walked to Debbie's room and got her. "Good morning pretty girl!" I told her. Debbie asked me to watch her for her. I told her I would. I was off today. I changed her and feed her. She is such a cutie. "Essa!" She cheered. "Franny!" I told her.
Fiona came over for dinner that night. Debbie was being charged more for peeing more? Weird right. Fiona looked beautiful as always. I was cleaning up with Lip while Xan was in the shower. "Dinner was good" I told him. "Thanks I tried my best" "Well you are a good cook" I was washing dishes.
Liam was sorting out franks stolen items from his friends house. "Hey Liam did you do your homework?" I asked him. "Yes I did" "Okay do you have clean clothes for school?" I asked him. "Yes" "Then you just need to shower?" "Yes" "Good!"
"You know you would make a good mom" Lip spoke. I cut my eyes to him. "Or a interrogator!" Liam added and I laughed. "I like kids but I do not think I would want my own" "Why not?" Lip asked. I shock my head. "I don't know it's just a big responsibility I mean once you are like 3 months in you have to watch what you eat and drink and no smoking and then when you push it out you have to teach it everything and raise it and try not to fail it and-" "I get the point Tessa" Lip smiled.
I washed the dishes and Xan came down. "Are you ready for bed?" I asked her. "Yeah I am" Perfect lets go!" I told her. We walked upstairs and I sat on the end of the bed. She laid down and I just sat there like always.
"Do you like Lip?" She spoke out the blue. I gasped. "Oh no he is just a good friend!" I told her. she giggled. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" She asked me. I chuckled "Yeah a couple" "Why did they not work out?" She questioned. I shrugged. "Well my first one I was like 10 and he tried to kiss me with his mouth open and it tasted like cheese and I did it and threw up right after. Then I dated another dude after him and he was so boring. Then I dated this other dude who tried to do terrible things to me" I explained.
"Thats horrible" "I know!" "So you never had a good guy?" Carl. "Yeah. I had a good guy. Me and my best friend dated on and off for years. Every time we got back together it was amazing. It was indescribable. Then in the end something always happened." "Why?" "I do not know. Maybe it is fate saying we should not be together or maybe we both just made mistakes." She smiled.
"It sucks because he broke my heart in a way." "You speak highly of him" I looked at her. I had a realization. "I think because parts of me still love him. I still crave him in a weird, sad way. Enough of me you need to go to sleep for school" I smiled at her. "Goodnight" "Goodnight Xan"
It got silent again. "Do you think if he asked you out again you would say yes?" I frowned. "Yeah" "Why?" Why? Why would I say yes? "Well Xan .. I do not know" She giggled. After a few minutes I heard snores.
I walked downstairs to Lip sitting on the couch. "Shes out" I told him. Fiona walked into the living room as I sat on the couch. "You two have gotten close" She mentioned. We laughed. "She basically my best friend Fiona" I smiled. "You called me your best friend!" I teased. He laughed. "Whenever Carl comes back you will have nothing to do with me!" "When does he come back?" I asked. "Tomorrow" "Tomorrow!" I almost threw up.
They laughed. "Yeah you forgot?" Fiona asked. I did forget. I looked down. That is so terrible of me. "Honestly the way he treats you I do not know how you deal with it" Debbie added. "What do you mean?" I questioned her.
"It always ends with him cheating on you" She added. "You do not deserve that!" Lip spoke. "Especially now you are different! You are working on yourself!" Fiona told me. "We take the love we think we deserve" I mentioned. They looked confused. "Some love is better than no love right?" I asked. They all had sad faces.
"I got to shower I will see you guys soon!" I walked home. I went inside. "Hey sis!" Sage called. She was holding Nessa. "Hey, Awe look how pretty you are!" I told her. Then I heard some footsteps. "Tavia!" I spoke as she walked to me. They grow so fast. "Essa!" She spoke. I kissed her head. "Someone kept trying to get into your room today!" Colden said as he scooped her up. "Did you miss me?" I asked as she laughed.
After I talked to them I showered and put on my pjs. I crawled into bed. My phone started ringing. It was Lip. "Yes sir?" "Come outside" "alright" I only had a big shirt and my sleep boxers on. I walked to his porch. We usually have our nightly talks.
I sat on the porch. "Why do you always sleep in boxers?" Lip asked. "its better than sleeping in a thong!" He laughed. He passed me the joint and I hit it. "How was the weeding?" I questioned. "It was good they were happy." "Awe that's good" He was quite. "I was fucked this girl named Tami" "What!" I shouted and we both laughed.
"Yeah and she threw up on my shoe" I was laughing so hard my stomach was hurting. "Oh thats so horrible!" He nodded. "What about you?" "My day was good until Xan wanted to ask about my past relationships and we got to talking about Carl" "Does she know it is Carl?" "No! Just some guy who was my best friend then. She asked if I liked you but I was like no"
"What's wrong with me?" I laughed but he was being serious. "Nothing is wrong with you but I would not date you! I literally have had sex with your brother that's far to weird" He laughed. "So if you did not date Carl would you date me?" I shrugged. "Maybe but carl eats it really good so I do not know" His face was confused. "Wha- OH ew!" He shrugged me as I laughed my ass off.
"Would you date me?" I asked him. He was thinking. "if you were older than maybe" "Yeah I am only 17" "Wanna hit this again?" He asked. "Yeah" After some more talking I walked inside. I went to sleep eventually.
I heard my door open. "Tessa?" I heard someone call. Someone voice I have not heard in a long time. Carl Gallagher. "Carl?" I called. I seen a guy standing in his uniform. I walked over to him. "Hi" I spoke with a smile. "Hi" He told me. It was like we were meeting for the first time. My heart was beating so fast.my knees were buckling.
"I missed you" We said at the same time. Everything feels like it was just my first time dating him. "Can I kis-" I smashed my lips on his. He pushed me on the bed. We were helping each other get undressed while holding the kiss. He pulled away. "Do you want to do this Tessa?" He questioned. "Yes" I told him.
I felt everything the whole time. It was different this time. It was better than usually. More love. We were both on our backs panting. He held me in his arms as I feel asleep.
When I woke up the next morning he was gone. My clothes were still off. He texted me. "I left before you woke up I need to stay in shape lol. You are amazing. Come see me when you can!"
I was smiling at the message. Then I threw my phone. "Fuck!" I yelled. I just threw on my shirt and shorts. Why would I do this to myself? Why would this be my first reaction to seeing him? Why? I ran downstairs. "Sage give me your Id" "Why?" She asked. "Wait never mind" I ran back upstairs and got my fake one. I drove to the drug store and got the morning after pill. I took it in my car with some water bottle from my floor bored.
Someone needs to knock some sense into me because what was I thinking? Why why why. My phone was ringing. Lip. "Hello?" "Hey heads up Carl is home.. Just wanted to let you know" "Oh yeah I know someone paid me a visit last night" "He went and seen you?" "Yeah he definitely seen me. All of me" "Tessa really?" "Lip I was still high and it felt like when we were actually good for each other I was not thinking!" "Cleary! Well be careful I will see you later right?" "Yes of course" "Okay bye love you dipshit" "Love you to asshole!"