Song recomendation for the chapter: Daylight. - Lover. - Taylor Swift.
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As Nick loaded the last box onto the moving truck, and closed the door so he could leave for the apartment, a strange feeling of melancholy and longing came over him. Charlie was chatting with his mother at the door of the house, still holding some things that would be taken in Nick's car. Both Sarah and Charlie were enjoying their last moments at that door before leaving it forever. Nick couldn't help but feel a lump in his throat as he saw an adult Charlie standing right where a child Charlie had stood all those years ago. Along with an adult Sarah... perhaps even more adult than before.
Memories of the night he first almost told Charlie he loved him came flooding back, and he felt the words forming again in his mouth as if he were back then. He had felt so scared. It was as if he felt that at that age he didn't have the right to say those words. He didn't really doubt what Charlie felt, but in those years showering him with such huge emotional burdens scared the hell out of him.
Now, as Nick watched the irresistible Charlie, in his white sweater and gray cargo jeans, run his hand through his beautiful hair so naturally, he reflected on how everything was so different and so alike.
At that moment, years ago, in that doorway, he doubted how two teenagers could tell each other they loved each other.
Now he doubted how two adults would explain to each other that they no longer wanted to be separated night to night.
How to tell him to move in with him.
Nick turned his back on the truck pulling away and ran his hand down the back pocket of his black pants, where he felt the small black velvet pouch where he had stashed his new set of keys. Destined for Charlie.
They were, before anything else, a gift. He didn't have to feel pressured to move in right then and there, especially with the way his parents were approaching things. Still a knot of anxiety rose in his chest, and he had to rub at the lavender shirt he had put on to calm himself.
Eventually Charlie turned to look at him with that beautiful smile as he gestured for him to come with him, and Nick took a deep breath and walked towards him.
He didn't have to be afraid. He had to trust his boyfriend, and that he would take the keys for what they were. Just a way to be closer.
"What are you two talking about?" Nick approached Charlie as he took the things out of his hands and left them in the open trunk of his car.
Charlie immediately had his hands free and grabbed Nick's outstretched hand.
"Charlie was helping me remember about your graduation." Sara smiled looking around the interior of the empty house wistfully, and Nick couldn't help but be surprised by the coincidence. "I'm going to miss this place so much."
"Me too." Charlie let it out with more melancholy than Nick would have thought possible. After all, Sara and Nick's house had long meant a safe place for Charlie and his friends. "Did David come for his things at last?" he asked.
"He'll come by my house for them. I know you don't want to Nicky but you'll have to invite him over to your new apartment eventually."
"I don't have to mom." Nick clarified. "But I'll think about it."
Sara rolled her eyes at him and let out a laugh. "It's complicated but he's your brother."
"Only if he's act nice, maybe...." Nick strained his eyes. If he planned to live there with Charlie David have to prove himself before he set foot inside.
"I can't believe you're already moving out on your own." Sara blurted wistfully squeezing his cheek, which caused an adoring laugh from Charlie.
"I was five years living alone in London Mom."
"That's college, it doesn't count."
"Trust me Sara, living with my parents all through college, it does count." Charlie sighed as he looked around the empty living room and leaned his head on Nick's shoulder. Luckily he didn't see when Sara shot a knowing look at her son.
"Have you and your parents talked about it?" Nick tried to shut his gossipy mother up with his eyes, but to no avail.
"Both they and I want me to move out...but I'm only recently regaining stability with my band and haven't been able to broach the subject with them much." Nick remembered his talk with Jane. He had told his mother about everything, since he needed to bounce those ideas off someone. She certainly wasn't happy with Charlie's mom's position, but they couldn't do much more than talk to them either.
"I think it's mostly for you and Nicky to talk about, honey." She remembered Nick telling her mother...but hadn't yet had the courage to introduce the subject so directly.
One step at a time, first he would propose moving in, then they would find a way to make it happen.
"One step at a time honey." Sara reassured Charlie, "I haven't talked to Jane in a long time. I could invited her for a cup of coffee."
"What a good idea." Charlie smiled at her, and Nick was touched by how comfortable Charlie seemed with his mom again. There were still doubts in her head. Not about how Nick felt or what he wanted, but about whether those things were the right thing to do.
A year ago he thought he'd never be with Charlie again, and now he couldn't see his life without him again.
"What a sweetie." Sara held both of their hands. "Give me a hug guys." As they broke the embrace Nick noticed a tear fall down her face. "I didn't think leaving home would cost me this much." Sara argued as she wiped the tear away.
"Mom... Are you sure you don't want us to have dinner with you today?"
"And ruin your wellcome party at your apartment? Never. Tomorrow we can have dinner. Run, you have to get to the apartment before the truck does, and I have to wait for the new owners to arrive, we'll sign a few more things."
"I can stay to help you with that."
"I can do it alone just fine" Sara gave them a hug again as she pushed them towards Nick's car and she turned around to go into the house.
"I think she wants to be alone." Charlie said once they got in the car and Nick started driving.
"I noticed that too." Nick couldn't stop thinking about his empty house. He had spent much of the morning wandering through it, letting all the memories soak in.
"She'll want to wander around for a second and reminisce. I would want that to. Imagining a little Nicky running around." Charlie ran his hand down the back of Nick's neck and played with his hair as he drove. Nick loved that he did that.
"I guess so. I don't like...leaving her alone."
"There's still time to cancel the party and have dinner with her." Charlie didn't say it lazily or coldly. Nick knew it was a real option he saw.
"You wouldn't mind?"
"What? You know I love spending time with your mom."
Nick was touched for the thousandth time that day by Charlie's proposal. "No...I must listen to her. He hates it when I do what I think she wants and not what she tells me. Besides, we've got a lot of tidying up to do now coming in."
"That's true" Charlie noticed how Nick was getting lost in his head, a clear sign that he was being clouded by melancholy instead of concentrating on the positives of the changes. "How do you feel? Aren't you so excited?" Charlie gave a little jump in his seat as he looked out the window, which melted Nick with tenderness.
"Now I'm just...stressed about the move and a little sad about saying goodbye."
"I get it, that's a lot of years of history. I loved that house very much." Charlie pinned his gaze on his boyfriend and tried to decipher his features to figure out what to do and how to make him feel better.
"Me too."
"Can you believe everything we experienced there?"
"Not really" Nick smiled, thinking back to the first time he invited him to play with Nellie all those years ago. "I still remember the first time I invited you."
"God I was so nervous."
"Really?"
"The hottest, most popular guy in school, the one I was obsessed with, out of nowhere invited me to his house...I don't know how I managed not to barf."
"I don't remember if I was that nervous...that been said... I'd never tidied my room for any friend, and for you I left it spotless."
"You're adorable." Charlie smiled, thinking of a teenage Nick organizing his room for him "Just imagine what we'll be living and doing in your new apartment."
"That really gets me excited." Nick teased him with a wink. Charlie noticed his double intention and let out a laugh.
"Why do you only think about sex Nick Nelson."
"If you were dating my boyfriend you couldn't think of anything else either."
"You say that because you're not dating my boyfriend. That one sure makes it hard to part with."
"Oh really?" Nick laughed, blushing. "Hard?"
"There is no more sensual man," Charlie added.
"Then why are you splitting up with him?" Nick loved those games of theirs of talking in the third person about themselves.
"How?"
"If it's so hard to stop touching him... Why do you stop touching him?" Nick added moving his hand from the car lever to his thigh, which made the little man shiver from head to toe as he squeezed the back of his neck tighter.
"Nick..." Charlie hid his face in his hands.
"What?"
"We're having guests in a few hours."
"What about that?"
"That you're going to leave me wanting to... debut your new apartment."
Nick smiled as he parked in his new building, next to the truck, and ran his hand up Charlie's thigh. He knew Charlie was waiting for a response, so he just pressed his hand to his lips and murmured. "Why do you think I'm going to leave you wanting?"
"NICK" Charlie again hid how he was blushing as Nick quickly got out of his side of the car to run to the co-driver's side and hug Charlie as he got out. When Nick held him around the waist Charlie melted into his arms. "What about this?" he asked him absorbedly.
"You said we'll have." Nick gawked at him, full of love. With that mischievous look that Charlie loved.
"What?"
"You said we're 'having' guests."
"Well yes...we'll have guests." Charlie laughed nervously. "I don't understand."
"You said it as if..." Nick moved to his lips and gave him a very quick, short kiss, and immediately broke away and started walking toward the truck. "Nothing."
"WHAT?" Charlie was perplexed and confused.
"We have to unpack."
"And you're not going to tell me what you meant?"
"You know what I meant."
That look again. That look Nick knew killed Charlie.
The reality was that he did know what he meant, and Charlie just blushed and nodded as they opened the truck doors.
He had said it as if they already lived together.
After a couple of hours everything was out of the truck and in relative order. Boxes of stuff were still everywhere, but the furniture was already in place and the mover could leave. Once they were alone again Nick closed the door and looked out into what would now be his home. He loved the space, and with his things slowly looking more like he had planned... but his home really just needed the boy calmly arranging things in the kitchen.
He had put on some music and as they let the afternoon fall they set about tidying up as much as possible before the others arrived. Nick went back to holding the keys he had in his pocket, and from the other side of the kitchen counter he was watching Charlie, hesitating if it was time to say it and see his reaction.
"Char?" Just do it Nick, he's going to love it. Say it...
"Why did you bring so many spoons?" Charlie looked at him confused.
Nick smiled as he saw him turn and interrupt him. "What do you have against my spoons?"
"There are so many" Charlie held one of them in his hand and pointed it at him.
"And you think our friends aren't going to live up here?"
"Sure, and since we have our soup eating saturdays all together this is going to be much needed." Charlie leaned back on the kitchen island to give him a little tap with the spoon on his nose as they both laughed.
Nick knew that look on his boyfriend. Smiling he turned the island around and held him by the waist, pressing him against the furniture. Charlie said nothing, just blushed and wrapped his arms around his neck.
"How did you know I wanted you close?" Charlie whispered back.
"I know you."
"Oh yeah, what am I thinking now then?"
Nick let out a laugh as he lowered his hands to his hips. "I said I know you, not that I read minds."
"What number am I thinking of." Charlie turned his face a little to be funny, and brought his mouth close to Nick's.
God he was good at tempting him.
"Okay... you're thinking about..." Nick closed his eyes and pretended to concentrate "Number 6?"
"What?" Charlie looked really surprised. "How did you guess?"
"A wizard never reveals his secrets."
"NICK"
"Shhhh" Nick dropped it with a kiss at last, and Charlie couldn't have been happier with that. All fears regarding the havoc the trio might have wreaked on their relationship were slowly fading from both of them. Nick would dare say they were better than ever. Something was making them feel closer and more trusting, if that was possible. Just like that, as he felt Charlie's mouth move against his with such tenderness and passion, he felt his hand move down his back until it almost reached his pants pocket.
Taking desperate measures to keep him from feeling the keys Nick held him tightly by the hips and carried him over to sit on the island, to which Charlie responded by clutching his neck again with a gasp.
"Nick..." Charlie sighed, feeling him close and wrapping his legs around him. "I love it... when you do that."
"Now we can do it with complete confidence, without us fearing that my mother is going to find us." Nick gave him a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. "I'm not sure why we like kitchen islands so much."
"How exciting." Charlie looked at him with a mixture of happiness and melancholy. "Too bad...that I'll still have to come back from time to time so my parents don't go crazy." Charlie shot him a leering look that Nick couldn't decipher.
Was Charlie already imagining what was coming?
Nick tell him already, he thought as he felt sparks of excitement run through his body. "from time to time?"
"Do you really think you're going to be able to stop me from not sleeping here whenever I want?"
"Hey hey hey, but who invited you to sleep over?" Nick teased him, and Charlie rolled his eyes at him as he laughed and crossed his arms, pushing him away with his legs. "Hey Char..."
"No more kisses for you."
"Wait!"
"No more kissing on kitchen islands for you, no sir."
"But I love this position." Nick was trying to get back between his legs and Charlie wouldn't let him, in between shoves and giggles.
"You should have thought of that before you were so rude."
"Rude? me?"
"You said you wouldn't invite me to sleep over."
"I said I didn't invited you...it's different."
"ay shut up Mr. Technicality. You'd better back off and arranged your thousand spoons."
"It's only six silly." Nick laughed as he tickled Charlie, who squirmed in his arms. "You can't against my tickles Spring."
"NICK...STOP."
"NEVER."
Tickle wars for them usually ended in kisses even more voracious and fierce than the previous ones, and that time was no exception. Eventually, when the tickling was too much for Charlie, Nick surprised him with a slow, dedicated kiss. He held his face as he flicked his tongue and pressed his body against his. Charlie held the waistband of his pants tightly, biting his bottom lip, letting himself go with that same rhythm.
Tell him Nick. The thought of continuing to spend nights without him was torture. You know what you want. You know he wants to. What's stopping you?
"Wait!" Charlie broke away from the kiss with a winning expression.
"What?"
"That's how you knew the number I was thinking of. The spoons."
Nick burst out laughing. "Is that what you were thinking about while I was trying to give you the best kiss of your life? The spoons?"
"It was a pretty good kiss, that's for sure... but am I right?"
"You're adorable." Nick took the spoon out of his hands and set it aside.
"Answer me Nelson."
"You're right love."
"How did you know I'd keep thinking about it?"
"You're predictable love." Nick winked at him, teasing him.
"ME? Predictable me?"
"What are you implying, you think I'm even more predictable?"
"Of course...besides, I know you better."
Nick opened his mouth in surprise. "WHAT?"
"Just like that Nicky."
"That sounds like a challenge."
Charlie crossed his arms as he wrapped his legs even tighter around him. "What's my favorite color?"
"Please, blue, easy." Nick rolled his eyes. "What's my favorite food."
"Piza, because you're a boring rugby lad. What's the password I always use?"
"Oli's birthday...or the date when I first took you to the beach."
"Damn, you're good."
"What animals scare me?"
"All... especially the ones that aren't dogs." Charlie scoffed.
"That's not true."
"I've seen you scream over a mouse."
"IT WAS A HUGE RAT" Now Nick crossed his arms and turned away like he was angry, and Charlie started leaving kisses along his bare arms to content him again.
"What's...my favorite part... of your...body?" Charlie blurted out, between kisses.
"Emm..." Nick felt the kisses travel up his neck, and as he blushed and lowered his arms to feel him closer, he smiled. "My arms?"
"Right." Charlie smiled. "But you could say anything really... I love it all."
"Char...." Nick eyed him sweetly, and lost himself in his touch. "And mine from yours?"
"My eyes."
"And your hair, and your back, and your torso, and your legs and your..." Nick was silenced by another kiss.
Nick, tell him already, it's time, just tell him.
"So... did I win the challenge?"
"Answering the easiest questions in the universe doesn't mean I'm predictable or that you know me best."
"Well, then ask me anything to prove it." Charlie leaned back on his arms and the light from the living room lamp bounced off the back of his hair, illuminating him like a halo. Nick almost lost the words out of his mouth at the sight of him being so irresistible.
It was now or never.
"What... what am I thinking?" Nick lowered his hand to his pocket.
Charlie studied it for a second, at first in the same joking, playful tone they had maintained up to that point...until something changed. Something seemed to turn. He must have found something on Nick's face that revealed the secret to him. Slowly he smiled and blushed, and losing his gaze on something else he didn't answer.
"So... what am I thinking about?" Nick pressed again.
"I don't know." Charlie looked a little scared, but adorable and hesitant, as if he was dying to say something and couldn't find a way to do it.
"Of course you know" Nick grinned, and felt accompanied, seeing him as nervous as he was.
Charlie sighed. "I have an idea...but I'm afraid to say it."
"Why?"
"What if I'm wrong and...?"
"What if your right?" Nick snatched his doubts away with a piercing look, and Charlie, feeling the weight of his body on his, lost all shame.
"Ah¡... that's what you meant in the parking lot?"
"What?"
"When I said we'll have guests. I think... that at that moment and this one you are thinking the same thing."
"I don't know" Nick smiled at him, hiding it a little more. "What are we talking about?"
"Are you going to make me say it?"
"No" Nick leaned closer and gluing his forehead to his he locked his gaze on his lips. "I want to say it myself... I'm going to say it myself, but since you're a wizard and you read my mind... Could you tell me a little of what you're feeling before I say it?"
"Well..." Charlie felt the electricity run between their bodies, and had to hold onto Nick's shirt to keep from collapsing. "I'm nervous. Happy, but nervous. I don't know if... I'm making a mistake and once again my desires cloud my judgment."
"You say that like we haven't been talking without talking about it for a long time." Nick smiled.
"I know... but just because of that, we haven't been direct."
They both thought about their respective conversations with Jane...something neither of them had discussed with the other.
"You want me to be direct?" Nick eyed him passionately, and Charlie could only nod as he glared back.
"There has to be a proposal for me to respond...right?"
"Char..." Nick smiled, as he gave him a kiss on the cheek and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small black velvet bag.
For a second Charlie's mind traveled to a place deep and full of fire and sparks in his mind. An imaginary one where his heart was pounding and in that bag was a ring.
His head began to spin with excitement and doubt.
"Char...I've had this on my mind since we got back...and I think it's time to say it. This, above anything else, is a gift. It's not an obligation or a way to pressure you. I know we've toyed with the idea but... I don't want it to be just a game or a distant dream anymore. Spending my days and nights with you is amazing, but I hate feeling like we have to separate or hide like we're kids. So taking advantage of the fact that we now have an adult relationship...and you make me happier than anything in this world, I wanted to give you this."
Charlie looked static at Nick as he listened to him and Nick handed him the bag. As Charlie felt it, he understood that there was no ring inside...
... and a kind of relief and disappointment came over him.
Feelings that were immediately replaced by pure joy when he pull out the contents of the bag. A set of keys with an adorable eiffel tower keychain, quite ugly and funny, like that kind of silly stuff that only Nick liked.
"I want this to be ours, and for me the only thing that would turn this from a house to a home...is you."
Charlie immediately burst into laughter and a soft, quiet cry. Nick just smiled and hugged him tightly, while he too cried a little in happiness. It was funny how sensitive they both were.
"We're ridiculous."
"I know...it was the keychain wasn't it?" Nick wiped away a tear.
"It's awful."
"Awful." Nick said with a chuckle.
"But I love it."
"And what do you think of what's on the keychain?"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Charlie just held him tightly and kissed him, returning all the affection that radiated from him. A salty, strange kiss, but sweet and welcome amidst tears and trembling, excited hands.
"It doesn't have to be tomorrow or even soon, but I want you to be able to be here with confidence that it's your space too."
"I don't want to wait another day." Charlie sentenced.
"Is that a yes?" Nick blurted out between kisses.
"You want me to move in with you?"
"It wasn't understood?"
"Say it then."
"Do you move in with me? Do we live together?"
"Sorry, I just didn't get it," Charlie teased him, uncovering one ear.
Nick laughingly shook him a little and pressed his forehead to his. "Est-ce que vous emménagez avec moi?"
Charlie blushed again, pinning his gaze to Nick's lips. "Just... because you said it in French."
"WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME YES" Nick shook him a little holding him by the arms.
"OF COURSE I WILL LIVE WITH YOU NICK NELSON. YES." Charlie held his face tightly, and began to shower him with kisses all over his face. "You have no idea how happy this makes me. I'll live with you. I start packing tomorrow."
"So you were looking forward to living with me too?"
"Of course I do."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I told you as much as you told me... but I do understand what you're saying." Charlie thought of the imaginary world in his head, the one where that little bag had an engagement ring in it. "I guess I wanted just this moment."
"You love these surprises, don't you?"
"You know me inside out."
"So you really guessed I was thinking about this?"
Charlie just nodded and kissed him back, as Nick moved his hands down to his ass to pull him even closer.
What Nick didn't know was that, for a moment, Charlie thought he was going to propose right there. In a half-assembled kitchen, among cardboard boxes, spoons and a thousand and one jumbled hopes... and though immensely frightened... a deep, buried part of himself was screaming yes.
But for the moment feeling this wrapped up in the person who meant home to the other was enough, and if it hadn't been for the doorbell they would have ended up tearing each other's clothes off, lying on top of the kitchen island.