(I'm trying something new <3 If Ben and Matias' story isn't of interest to you, spare this chapter and the previous one. This one, 46, and the previous one, 45, which is told from Matias' point of view, narrate what happened between them after Elle's birthday party. If anyone likes visual references to imagine Matias, now that he is no longer shaved I imagine him as a 26 / 27 year old Darren Criss. The story will take its normal course after these two chapters).
Disclaimer:
Warning about sexual scenes.
I think it's worth mentioning that in the next chapter there will be graphic, detailed and erotic descriptions of Ben and Matias having different types and degrees of sexual relations. Although this is not uncommon in the fanfic world, I think it is important to make it clear that my intention is not to offend anyone or disrespect the original characters. In my fiction, Ben and Matias are adults with every right to give their enthusiastic consent and enjoy their sexuality extensively. It is in my best interest to remove the taboo surrounding the flashy depiction of homosexual sex, as I feel it has historically been portrayed as depraved or vulgar. Sexuality is beautiful, important, and can be part of the art world if it is treated with affection, consent and enthusiastic affection and respect between the characters who share it.
Now, if you don't want to read this content you don't have to, just skip those chapters. Heartstopper's focus on everything about love but the sexual act, and that is incredible and important, but I clarify that my intention will be to make several chapters of them exploring their sexuality, in varying degrees of intensity, as I believe this can be entertaining, beautiful and benign to remove the stigma and treat sex as the affectionate exchange of pleasure from a poetic and mutually caring side. Language is diverse and does not have to be vulgar. The use of words like penis, anus, orgasm, semen, masturbation, among others, has nothing wrong with it, and let's consider that my story is intended for adults only.
For a sincere world, without censorship or oppression, affectionate, and free of violence, where we can celebrate our sexuality openly and happily with the people we love and who love us.
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Matias' lips crashing against his sent Ben to another planet. Nerves were coursing down his body as the boy's hands beneath him held his waist tightly above his sweatshirt. Ben worked hard at the kiss...he didn't know if it had to or would come naturally, but something about Matias made him feel he had to prove himself. Prove to him the true prize he had earned by choosing to be with him that night. Jealousy, hunger and desperation invaded the kiss, as Ben bit Matias' lower lip, ran his hands through his curls and moved his hips to feel him even closer.
"Ben...can I...aaahhhh...I love bites by the way." Matias was smiling, lost in the feeling, as he stopped the kiss and caressed his face.
"I'll keep that in mind then."
"Can I touch you underneath this?" Matias desperately held the sweatshirt.
"Sure." Anticipation coursed through Ben's body as Matias' cool hands lifted his sweatshirt and roamed his abdomen and back. He could feel every cell in his body craving the boy's touch, as he kissed him again with desire. His hands moved down Matias' chest and back, finding the space where there was bare skin, just above his hip. The moment he felt his skin something stirred inside him. This made him retract his hands immediately.
Matias couldn't help but notice his fear, so he broke the kiss that clearly neither of them wanted to break. "Everything okay grun?" A kiss from Mat on his cheek calmed his nerves a little.
"Yeah emmm...just...wait did you call me grun?"
"Yeah..."
"Green?"
"Don't you like your new nickname?" Mat grinned like a fool.
"Since when do you know german?" Ben let out a laugh.
"I looked that word up a while ago." Matias looked proud of his discovery. "Silly nicknames are my thing."
"Because of my eyes?" Ben looked at him incredulously. Though his expression clearly annoyed Matias, who rolled his eyes at him...actually Ben was melting on the inside.
"No, because of your sense of humor... of course because of your eyes genius."
"Sounds a little silly don't you think?"
"Well I'm going back to Ben if you don't like it." Matias crossed his arms and pretended to be offended.
"You can call me whatever you want supposed bad boy" Ben teased him, and Matias snatched it back as he gave him another kiss. "Actually...I like it." Butterflies invaded Ben's stomach...no one had ever given him a nickname like that, a pet name, silly or not.
"Then grun it is. I love your eyes." Ben blushed even more, pulling his body closer and feeling both of their erections.
"Are you expecting a nickname back? Because I suck at that stuff." Ben was embarrassed.
Matias just denied smiling and continued "I expect you to tell me what happened. You looked like you didn't wanted to... touch me."
Ben noticed disappointment in his look. "No no, of course I want to...you have no idea how much I want to."
"I mean, I can feel your dick in my abdomen." Matias bit his lower lip seductively, as he gave him a quick little kiss. "I guess that means I'm not doing so bad..."
"You're not doing bad... I love it, it's just... I'm afraid to make you uncomfortable. I don't know if... I have your consent and sometimes I get excited and do things without thinking."
"Is that why you want me to ask you everything?" Matias asked, as Ben nodded.
"Sorry for being so weird."
"You're not weird." Matias gave him another kiss on the lips, this time soft and gentle. "Can I try something...if you don't like it tell me. okay?"
"Okay."
"Could you...feel my neck?" Ben smiled, and he obliged, touching his neck. "Could it be with your mouth?" Ben obliged, leaving little kisses on his throat and under his ear. "That... feels really... nice... Could you... touch my abdomen?" Ben was going to ask if he had his permission but Matias wouldn't let him, falling in with a kiss and moving one of his hands to his abdomen. "Can it be... under the shirt?" Ben heeded him, feeling his skin on his hairy abdomen. Electricity coursed through his body as he felt even more desire. "Can you... take... this... off?" Matias' breath quickened as he felt Ben's hands move down to his hips and hold him tightly, as he determinedly pulled his sweatshirt off in one motion and continued to feel his torso, while kissing his neck. "See...? I understand that... you're afraid... or that you don't want to... transgress a boundary... but believe me... I want this... I want this... I want this... Can I take your..."
"Yes, please." Ben began to feel his old confidence slowly return as Matias' hands stripped him of his sweatshirt and pulled him towards him to continue the kiss. In one motion they lay on the bed, side by side, as their hands traveled down their bare torsos, backs and necks. Biting and kissing non-stop.
"Would you like to... touch me... even... more?" Matias blurted out between kisses.
"You mean...?"
"What do you think I mean genius?" they both laughed, as Ben lowered his hands to the waistband of Matias' pants.
"May I?" Matias nodded with a gasp, as Ben slipped his hands in and felt Matias' throbbing erection. They both let out a moan of pleasure as Ben explored Matias with his hands.
"I'm going to... touch you myself... may I?" Ben nodded smiling, as Matias positioned himself on top of him and moved his hands down to his pants, feeling his erection, his hips, his legs. Everything. "Can I...touch all of you?"
"Please."
"Can I take your clothes off then?"
"YES" Ben almost shouted, and Matias, smiling, did so and, once he undressed Ben, held him tightly against the bed and kissed him voraciously, feeling his whole body. Pleasure and desire invaded them both. Ben was not used to being dominated... and Matias made him feel so complete and safe that he just decided to lose himself in the feeling, unclenching and letting him explore his body. "Can I... undress you now?"
Matias smiled, as he nodded and lifted his hips to give Ben a chance to remove the rest of his pajamas. They both admired each other naked for a second, as they kissed each other's necks, gasped and rolled around on the bed. Ben was taller and leaner, more hairless and taut. Matias was a little stockier, hairier and broader. That pattern was repeated all over both boys' bodies. Ben's big, circumcised erection, though larger than Matias', was not as thick as Mat's, not circumcised and with more curly hair surrounding it.
"You have no idea how much I've wanted to have you like this ever since I saw you." Ben whispered to him as he held both erections between his hands and masturbated them, which caused more noises from both of them. "Is this... okay?"
"More than okay... mmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Matias was loud, which Ben loved. "It was really hard... to wait that long."
"You think that the third date was waiting too much?" Ben joked.
"When you're this sexy grun? Of course." Ben melted at his words. By his new nickname, by the attention from his new... What were they? They hadn't made anything official, and even though that wasn't the time, doubt rose in Ben... immense doubt accompanied by an even greater feeling.
He really was in love.
"I need to... taste you... Can I..." Matias whispered to him, and Ben gasped as with one of his hands he urged Matias down his body. At no point did they lose eye contact, which he knew would drive Mat crazy. He would show him how much he loved for him to see him smiling, taking bites from time to time, as he went lower and lower. His beautiful curly hair was growing thicker and thicker, and it was slowly starting to be enough to hold him by the hair. He had a bushy beard, which he had to shave off quite a bit to keep it from overgrowing. The skin on his hip was getting little scrapes as Matias kissed it.
Damn, he really was falling in love, Ben thought smiling and feeling Matias on his skin.
"Do you like seeing me grun?"
"Yes... a lot."
"What if I do... this...?" Matias eagerly took Ben's erection into his mouth, and a gasp from Ben, followed by loud exhalations of pleasure, made Matias understand how good it was making him feel. His taste was intoxicating, and the pressure of the dramatic night fell over the moment, making them savor each other even more. After what felt like an eternity of pleasure, when Matias felt a small retch, he had to stop, and immediately Ben missed the feeling of his mouth, as he held his face. "Sorry, you're... bigger than I expected." Matias looked flushed and very happy, as he pressed kisses up and down his legs and masturbated him.
"Really?" Ben smiled "You're as good at doing that as I expected." Matias smiled at Ben's validation, so he took the boy's erection back into his mouth. After a few minutes Ben felt the orgasm inside him grow, so he stopped Matias, who understood.
"Am I that good then?" joked Mat, as he moved kisses up his chest until he reached his neck. Ben just gasped and nodded, unable to formulate words. "I love having you like this, do you want to... taste me now you?"
"Sure... You'll have to excuse my lack of experience, I haven't done it in a while." Ben said embarrassed, as he moved down Matias' chest leaving kisses all over.
"Ben you could just look at me and I'd be about to... be done." Matias' breaths made Ben feel a little more confident in his abilities.
"Glad I didn't disappoint." Ben bit his hip bone lightly. He loved the feeling of his hair against his mouth. "I love how hairy you are."
"Really? I even thought about shaving."
"Please don't."
"Noted."
Ben took Matias' erection, and eagerly took it all the way into his mouth. It had been a long time since he'd been with a guy like that, and he'd always felt insecure that he couldn't do a good job, considering that Matias seemed to be very sexually active. Luckily, the intoxicating taste of Matias, combined with the desire for him, and the boy's loud moans of pleasure, convinced Ben that he had to stop doubting himself. He continued, enjoying every second, and playing with Matias' testicles with his free hand.
"Ben... Do you... really... think... that... aahhhhhhhh... you're... bad at it?"
"You're just saying that because you haven't felt yourself. You're amazing."
"I...LOVE IT." Ben didn't respond to Matias' shout, he just followed and with one hand he reached for the boy's hand, and held it tightly, intertwining his fingers as he continued. After a while he began to feel Matias' erection quiver and his body tighten.
"I think... you... have... to... stop."
"What if I don't want to?" Ben smiled at him, taking a deep breath for the lack of air.
"Another day you can try having me finish in your mouth." Matias pushed Ben away, and holding his face made him kneel with him on the bed, as he held him tightly and sought to kiss him. "But now... I have other plans. Sound good?"
"Sounds... very good." Ben was at a loss for the dominant boy.
"Do you still want... me to dominate you?"
"Yes" Ben closed his eyes, took a deep breath and felt Matias' hands move down his back to his ass.
"So can i touch you here?" Matias only whispered, as he left kisses all over his face and neck. Ben trembled in his arms, as he wrapped his hands around his neck.
"Yes... please."
"Can you... lick this for me?" Matias placed a pair of his fingers over his lips, and Ben without thinking slipped them into his mouth and sucked them hard, never taking his eyes off Matias. "Very good." Matias smiled, blushing. "Can I use them to get you ready?"
"Yes." Ben pushed him to get on top of him, as he gasped a response. He laid Matias down and straddled him, and he pulled his hips closer so that Matias could lower his now wet fingers down to his ass. Ben hesitated for a moment, losing himself in the feeling of having him so close, but when he felt Matias' fingers encircle his anus, he collapsed on top of him to kiss his ear and whisper. "...More..."
Matias let out a gasp of pleasure as he slowly slipped his fingers inside Ben. They both shivered and exhaled as, after a few seconds of waiting and playing, Matias inserted more and more of the first finger... and then the second. Eventually they both moaned as the two fingers found a steady rhythm.
"How...do you feel?" Matias felt small and awkward as he tried to touch Ben all over... but seeing him as beautiful as ever, trembling with pleasure on top of him, was the greatest reward.
"IT FEELS... SO GOOD."
"Sure? It... love... it."
"I do... too"
Matias stopped his fingers and settled down below Ben, as he positioned his erection between the quivering, eager boy's buttocks. Ben lunged for his lips, seeking to kiss him, as he bit his lower lip.
"Do you have condoms?" asked Matias. "I have one my backpack down stairs... but letting go of you right now sounds terrible."
"Yeah...give me a second." Ben stretched for his nightstand, and returned with a condom. Smiling he passed it to Matias, who as he put it on couldn't take his eyes off him. "You'll have to... start slow."
"Sure, at whatever pace you want handsome."
"It's been a long time since I've done this. Especially not with someone so... big."
"Look who's talking," Matias said, as he held Ben's erection. "You'll have to let me feel it inside me later."
"We'll have more nights." Ben launched into a kiss as Matias positioned his already condomed erection between his buttocks, and slowly settled on top of him to begin. "Can I stay like this? I feel more... control."
"Sure." Matias lowered his hands to his hips and before he started pressing down he waited until Ben was ready, and Ben slowly let his weight fall on top of Matias.
Every inch that went in caused a new noise in both of them, and it wasn't long til Ben whispered to him. "Mat...more...please." Matias brought his hips up and thrust all the way in. They both cried out in anticipation, and stood petrified like that, feeling each other, as a bead of sweat fell from Ben's chest to Matias.
"Can I... start moving?"
Ben didn't answer, drowning in pleasure he just smiled and kissed him, as he himself began to move up and down. They both let go of the pressure of the night. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, the affection or the immense desire he felted towards Matias. Have him like this was so wanted, that the initial pain was quickly replaced by an immense desire. An uncontrollable desire for more. Ben left the words behind, he could not for the world emit a noise that was understandable, between so much pleasure. He just kissed, felt and touched Matias, losing himself in him. He responded, trembling and moaning even louder. Lost in each other's gaze, Ben noticed how something unlocked in both of them, and smiling they continued, melting into each other.
Matias was energetic, vigorous and very responsive. Ben had no idea how much time passed, because he didn't stop moving, and as Matias only sped up and sped up, he continued, enjoying it all.
"Grun... Ben... I... really like... you. Very much."
Dark eyes longing for an answer. Beasts inside each other fighting to be released... Ben trying to speak through pleasure. Trying to respond with his kisses and his movements. I really like you to Mat, I am really falling for you... so so much. I want you to be mine, please. He thought a thousand times in his head, as neither of them could stop.
But he didn't say it. He couldn't answer.
"I'm... close..." Matias whispered.
Ben only sped up, as he managed to whisper only his name back to him. When Matias finished with a cry, the feel of him shuddering from the pleasure inside him was enough for just a slight rub to his own erection to make him finish on top of the boy, who smiling held him lovingly as he enjoyed his own orgasm. A few minutes passed between gasps before Ben could speak again, his voice hoarse and deep.
"Sorry... I didn't ask if I could finish on top of you."
"That was a good surprise. Did you bothered that I came inside you? I should have anticipated..."
"Are you kidding? I wanted exactly that... I left you all sticky."
"I love it. Don't worry." He hesitates, a hint of fear in his gaze.
Matias got up to the bathroom and Ben curled up in his bed, letting sleep wash over him. The only thing that woke him up was when he returned to the bed beside him, and without much thought he just hugged him tightly and snuggled in next to him.
" Mat."
Sleep claimed him completely, and he could only dream of him. With his smile, with his hands playing guitar. With his beautiful hair and eyes seeing him in the dark. It was a short night, as the sun came through his window quickly and woke him up sooner than he would have liked.
Searching through the blankets with one hand he realized that Matias was in the bathroom, so he tried to fix himself up a bit so he wouldn't look like a mess just waking up. When he comes out, I'll ask him to be my boyfriend, he thought blushing and excited. He couldn't wait.
He couldn't give doubt the time to invade that certainty.
A few minutes passed and Matias didn't come out, so he sat up to see his room, looking for the boy's things. When he saw his empty armchair he was confused, and quickly put on something and left his room.
Only to find an empty apartment.
Furious and confused, tears invaded his eyes, as he returned to his room. I'll go in and he'll be coming out of the bathroom. I'll go in and realize his stuff was always there and he wouldn't leave me. Ben thought as his heart fell to pieces.
But he walked in to find only a note on his desk.
"Grun, good morning handsome. I really had a great time...but I don't want to lie to you, I'm really confused and I need some time. I'm really sorry. Mat."
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Song recomendation for the chapter: Say don't go. - 1978 - Taylor Swift.