I have died every day waiting for you…
Rebecca's POV
I tightened my grip on my pillow as I layed on my side in bed, listening to the soft sound of the rain outside the window. I had turned the lights off and locked the door. I even told Zayn and Louis not to enter, because I needed some privacy.
Darkness can be your best friend at those kind of times. When you just want to think. When you just want to cry. When you just want to be alone. Darkness is the best option.
A lightning that came with a loud thunder entered momentarily my room before it dissapeared, the rain falling harder. The sound of the droplets crashing against the window was calming. My heartbeat was slow, too slow. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to think of anything else than him.
It's not fair for me and my friends. He's done so many things to all of us..and I still have feelings for him..If it was for someone else, I wouldn't even think twice, I would've just taken him out of my life for good, without regretting it, but it's not the same with Harry.
You can't just rip out a piece of your heart and hide it in the darkness. You can't just pretend like you don't need him when you actually do. I hate him for doing this to me, but my love is much stronger than the hate.
I came to learn some important things from life, though. That love is the only thing that matters in this world. That love is the only thing that can crash you down, but make you rise up again. That friends are always needed. That being in love with someone means you need to take risks and face the consequences. That if you don't risk, you don't live. That if you don't try, you're not worth it. That if you don't try, you'll never know. That if you don't feel like you need it, then you won't ever have it. That if you're strong enough, you will always succeed. That when you lose something, then you realise how special it was. That being weak, means you're the target. But never doubt that a weak person, can become the strongest of them all.
That's what happened to me after I met Harry. Even though I came to feel the worst things in this world, I grew stronger and stronger. And now here I am, after all this time, still breathing, still living, still hoping, still trying.
And still loving him.
I hid my face in the pillow, taking in Zayn's scent. He slept in the same bed as me last night, and his cologne is overwhelming. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, because I haven't slept in three days and I feel exhausted.
But then, something flashed behind my eyes.
The memory of me in Ashton's Jeep, crying and sobbing, my skin covered in dirt and my hair messy as I drove back to town. My stomach churned at that memory. That was when Harry and I had gotten rid of Louis's demon and Harry sent me home..and then I realised that I love him.
I furrowed my brows and kept my eyes shut, seeing then the other car crashing against mine. I saw my body moving forward and breaking the glass, making it cut my skin and blood to run out of the wounds. My body literally got out of the car at the force and landed on the hard ground, bleeding and unconscious. The man that was driving the other car was bleeding in his seat, a wound around his forehead.
Why am I seeing this?
The scene changed into another place. I see a big building and a car parked in front of it, which I immidiately recognised. It's Harry's old car. He suddenly jumped out of the car, his skin dirty just like it was mine, sweat making his hair look darker as he walked over to the entrance of the building and pressed a button.
A woman's voice came out of the speaker, “hello?”.
“Open the door.” Harry demanded and the door opened.
He went into the elevator and got to the 13th floor before knocking the door. My heart pounded louder now. What the hell is this? The door opened and a girl appeared behind, making my heart stop. It's the same girl I saw in my nightmare.
What is going on?
“How can I help you?” The girl asked quietly.
Harry pushed her to the side and stepped in before closing the door. He stared directly into her green eyes and my chest tightened. No, don't do it.
“Are you Lea Gabler?” he asked.
“Y-yes.” she stammered scared, backing away.
“You work for me now. I know you are one of the best secret agents.” he said.
What in the...
“Who are you?” she asked, afraid.
“Your boss. I need you to help me find an experiment lab.” he said, walking towards her.
Her back hit the wall and he stood right in front of her, making my heart pound faster. God no. “You work for me. Got it?” he compelled her lowly and she nodded. He looked down at her body before smirking. “Good, now you'll do whatever I want you to,” he said and ripped her shirt off, causing my chest to tighten even more. The girl didn't do anything. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, meaning she was compelled.
My heart thudded painfully and I squeezed my eyes shut. No. Get out of my head. He threw her on the bed and hovered over her before ripping her leggings off and pulling down her panties. No, I don't want to see this. Please. Don't make me see this.
“Stop.” I begged, my voice weak.
“This was the only time I had sex with that girl. When I first met her. I needed someone to pleasure me. And you were gone. And she worked for me. That's why I used her.” Harry's voice hit my ears, shocking me.
“N-no,” I mumbled, trying to open my eyes. Why the fuck can't I open them? What the hell is going on?
Suddenly the scene of Harry and her dissapeared and I saw him putting his shirt on and her laying in bed, covered in the sheets. Harry quickly wore his jeans and shoes before leaving the apartment without saying a word to her.
“I don't want to see this.” I said lowly, tightening my grip on the pillow.
And then I saw Harry rushing into the hospital and arguing with Hannah and Stefan before he came into the room I was held into. My heart plummeted and tears burned my eyes. Why am I forced to see this? The scene then changed into Harry going to that girl's apartment again and discussing ways to find the experiment lab. I didn't see them kissing or having sex again. The scene of them two sitting on the couch with papers in front of them stopped, letting me watch it with a shaking heart.
“I called you last night to tell you to come over but you didn't answer.” the girl, Lea, said quietly, her voice annoying.
“I was with my girlfriend.” Harry said coldly, eyes glued on the papers.
“Does she know what you're doing?”
Harry's head snapped towards her, anger flashing behind his eyes. “No. She can't find out that I've been killing a lot of people for months now behind her back. She's going to hate me. So you better watch out when you call me or text me, got it?” he said sharply, making me gasp.
And then my eyes snapped open.
That was what he was hiding all this time.
That was why he was on his phone.
He wasn't cheating on me.
He was planning on finding the experiment lab and killing people that did nothing but good to innocent young kids.
That's why he was so afraid of me finding out. Because he knew. He knew that I would never aprove him killing other people.
A huge wave of relief washed through me and tears rolled down my cheeks. He wasn't cheating. He was right. I never gave him the chance to explain. I was so stubborn and selfish for once in my life that I came to believe wrong things. Oh my God. My heart now was brought back to life and relief took over my body. My Harry was never gone. My Harry was trying for us. He does love me like he says.
“I don't have to ask you..where you've been..” Harry's voice singing with pain in his voice surrounded me, making me suck in a breath.
He's here.
I pulled my head back and looked around in panic. Oh my God, he's here. He didn't leave for good.
“And I don't feel the need to..know who you're with..” my body shook and goose bumps arised all the way from my legs up to my arms.
“I can't even think straight..but I can tell..”
“Harry..” I whispered, my voice shakey. I wiped away the tears and stared outside the window, seeing another lightning leaving its mark on the dark sky.
“You were just with him..and I still be a fool..I'm a fool for you..”
I stood up from the bed and felt my chest tightening. I could feel him close. He was somewhere near. Not in the house. He was somewhere, staring at me, I knew. I just knew. I ran to the door and unlocked it before rushing outside and down the stairs.
Louis and Zayn looked at me from the living room with confused looks as I quickly put on my black Converse. “Rebecca where you're going?” Louis asked.
I locked eyes with him. “He's here.” was all I replied before I grabbed the door handle and opened the door.
“What? Rebecca wait!” was all I heard Zayn say before I stepped out of the house.
“Just a little bit of your heart..just a little bit of your heart..” Harry's voice was clear to my ears as I started walking down the sidewalk, the rain pouring down at me immidiately.
The cool breeze made me shiver as I walked, panic coursing me, heart racing, tears never coming to an end.
“Just a little bit of your heart is all I want.”
“Harry..” I mumbled and wrapped my arms around my body.
I could feel him closer. He was somewhere...I looked around me, the rain making it difficult for me to see clearly. Another thunder, matched with a lightning echoed in the sky, making me slightly jump.
“I know I'm not your only...but at least someone..”
“Harry!” I called, hoping he could hear me. I kept walking down the sidewalk, now completely wet thanks to the rain.
“I've heard a little love...it's better than none..”
And then's when I saw him.
Standing meters away from me, completely wet from her to toe, long hair stuck around his face, his muscular body could be seen thanks to his soaked white tee. I gasped as I stared at him and came to a halt.
My heart felt alive and it was the bet feeling I've ever felt in this world. I breathed heavily, wanting to go closer to him. I wanted to touch him. Kiss him. Tell him that I love him. Apologise. Be with him. I felt complete again as I simply stared at him.
I didn't wait any longer. My body and soul screamed for him. My heart crawled all the way to him. He was the one and only that made me feel this way. So I started running towards him, ignoring how the rain pulled me down to the ground. I needed to be close to him.
“Harry!” I called, tears forming into my eyes again.
And he started running back to me, coming closer and closer, his green eyes looking deeply into mine, leaving me breathless. We both increased the speed, erasing the space between us. It was the only moment that I felt so alive, so full of emotions. I knew it was all love's fault. I knew it was faith's plan to bring us together. Because a heart can't beat without blood. And Harry's the blood of my heart.
When he got only two steps away from each other, Harry opened his arms, welcoming me to his embrace. My body collided with his in such force that his body moved backwards and my arms immidiately locked around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, never letting go of me. I hid my face in his neck, breathing in his scent that brought so many memories back to my mind.
“Harry..” I breathed, sobbing.
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I never told you,” He apologised, kissing my wet hair.
“No,” I pulled back and looked at him. His green eyes never looked so beautiful, so emotional, so full of life. I love his eyes, they made me fall for him. “I'm sorry for not believing you. For not giving you the chance to explain. I'm sorry for telling you that I don't love you anymore, it was a lie, I'm so sorry, I thought I was done with you but I was wrong. I'm so fucking screwed because I can't live without you. You are my everything and I will forever love you, Harry. Forever. I won't ever doubt you and push you away without knowing the truth.” the words rushed out of my mouth because they were things I wanted to say for so long.
A smile formed on his lips, taking my breath away once again. He looked so damn gorgeous, like an angel. He was just so beautiful. “It's okay, Rebecca, I knew you never stopped loving me.” he assured, his deep voice sending chills down my spine.
“How..I thought you said you were done..I thought you wouldn't try again..” I mumbled, sniffling at the end.
“I thought that you deserve to know the truth before I leave from your life for good. And I wanted to dedicate the song I wrote to you. And I wanted to see if you would feel again or not, so I waited, and when I heard you searching for me, I knew my Rebecca was back.” he smiled at the end and tacked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“I missed you so much,” I admitted, cupping his neck with my hands.
“I missed you more.” he said and pulled me to him before pressing his lips against mine.
His lips felt like heaven. They were soft but rough, cold but heart-warming. I should be shivering because of the cold night at the moment, but I wasn't. I felt as if I was on fire. The rain kept pouring down to us, surrounding us. My heart raced wildly and butterflies danced in my stomach. My blood ran in my veins faster and I felt lightheaded.
I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against his, my eyes closed. “I love you. More than ever.” I admitted, panting.
“My love for you can't be compared to anyone else's. Not even yours.” he said.
“Thank you for not giving up on us. I thought I lost you for good.” I sighed.
“Dear, my love for you would never leave me alone if I let you go.” He murmured.
“I love you. So much.” I said. I just needed to say it again.
“I love you too.” he said, making my heart flutter.
I pulled back and looked at him, determination flooding through me. “I want to help you, Harry. We need to finish what we started.” I said.
He opened his eyes and gave me a surprised look. “Are you seriously telling me that you're still in?”
“Yes.”
He smirked. “I can't be luckier.” he kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly. “I'm so proud of you.” he mumbled.
“I'm so glad we're together again.” I admitted.
“Rebecca, even if you were in the other side of the planet and you were married to someone else, we would still be together. Because your heart belongs to me and mine belongs to you.”
I looked up at him in surprise, brows raised. “Since when did you become so romantic?” I chuckled.
“Since now.” he snorted, smirking, dimples popping.
I laughed. A real laugh. “So what are you saying? Are we going or not? Because we already lost so many days. Ariana called me but I didn't answer.”
“There's no time for that girl now. We need to go to the hospital as soon as possible.” he said, shaking his head gently.
“Okay. Should we go tomorrow?”
He chuckled. “Are you that determined to go there?” he seemed amused, and he looked so cute.
“Yes. We can't leave those teenagers there.”
“Fine. We'll go tomorrow. But first, let's get you inside or you might catch a cold,” he said and started walking back towards the house with his arm wrapped around me.
“Umm, Zayn and Louis are there, so you might have to listen to their yells.” I chuckled awkwardly.
“Who gives a fuck?” he said. “And actually, I need to speak to Zen for sleeping in the same bed with you.” he said, scaring me slightly.
“He just wanted to help. I couldn't sleep at nights.” I supported. The last thing I wanted is Harry to fight with Zayn. “And his name is Zayn.” I added.
“I don't care. I don't like that he slept in my side of the bed, with my girl next to him. It's like he replaced me,” he growled, making me rub circles on his back.
“No one's going to replace you, Harry. Ever.” I assured.
“M'glad.” he mumbled, pulling me closer.
“Don't fight Zayn.” I said firmly.
“I'm not going to punch him.” he said, not meeting my eye.
“You're lying.” I pointed out and he chuckled.
“You know me too well.”
“Harry seriously now.” I said, staring at the side of his head. I was now shivering. Jesus, is so cold.
“I can't promise you anything, Rebecca.” he rolled his eyes. “And I like how you dyed your hair.”
I blushed. The ends of my hair are dyed blonde and I have to say that they look much better now, but hearing Harry say it makes me feel more confident.
Before I could protest, he took me inside the house like a flash. The warmth of the house calmed down my shaking body and I quickly stepped out of my soaked converse.
“Rebecca are you–,“ Zayn rushed out of the living room with wide eyes before he looked at Harry and his expression turned to angry. “Oh, you're here.” he said, sounding displeased.
“Zayn.” I warned lowly.
Harry runned a hand through his wet hair. “Yes, I'm here. Why? Is there any problem with that? Or are you disapointed that you won't sleep in the same bed as Rebecca?” Harry challenged.
“Harry.” I turned to him, giving him a stern look.
“Don't try to make me seem the bad guy here, we all know who hurts Rebecca all the time.” Zayn scolded.
“Zayn, seriously?” I turned to him, furrowing my brows. Where are they taking it?
“You're testing me now?” Harry took a step forward.
I immidiately moved and stood in front of him, my hand on his chest. “Harry no.”
“You came back for what? To show us your ego and then dissapear again?” Zayn said, a hint of mock laced in his voice.
“It's nothing like that.” Harry said through clenched teeth, fisting his palms.
“Oh really? Then I'm sure when you hurt her again you'll stay and try to come out as the victim, as always, right?” Zayn was acting like a jerk at the moment but I knew it was just to test Harry.
“Listen up you, dick,” Harry started, taking a step forward, making me take one backwards. “I know you're only doing this to show Rebecca that I can't control myself but I'm not going to fall in your trap.” he hissed.
“You're so stupid.” Zayn laughed. “Seriously Rebecca, kick him out, he's still the same jerk.”
“Zayn stop!” I gave him a warning look.
“That jerk can possibly kill you in a split second if you don't shut the fuck up.” Harry growled.
“I'm sure you miss that day when you killed me in front of her, huh?” Zayn cocked a brow.
“Oh yes. And I want to do it again.” Harry smirked.
“Woah, woah, woah, guys, chill the fuck down.” Louis came down the stairs, having a stressed look on his face.
“Harry don't do anything stupid,” I whispered, staring up at him. He didn't look at me as he kept glaring at Zayn past me.
“Why are you fighting? I thought we were over that shit.” Louis said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“How can we be over with that shit when he still messes with our lives?” Zayn said, pointing at Harry.
“Your lives?” I spoke. “Harry is my boyfriend, not yours. How the hell is he messing with your lives?”
“You're a part of my life, Rebecca, do you think that seeing you so sad doesn't have an affect on me?” Zayn said, his words making my heart skip a beat.
“I..” Fuck, that was touching.
“Alright alright, Harold, Zayn, apologise to each other, now.” Louis said, moving his hands.
“What?” Zayn gave him a weird look.
“Are you kidding me?” Harry laughed.
“Never in a milion years.” Zayn shook his head.
“Stop acting like kids, for God's sake!” Louis sighed. “Apologise. Now.” he demanded.
“No.” Harry said slowly.
“I've never really done anything to him, why would I apologise? He's the one who killed me!” Zayn claimed.
“Fine! Don't apologise! Start over. Don't fight anymore, okay? Do it for Rebecca.” Louis said, pointing at me.
Zayn and I locked eyes and his glare softened. He sighed and looked down. “Fine.” he grumbled.
I turned to look at Harry expectantly. He looked down at me and gave me a “are you serious” look. I nodded and raised a brow.
His eyes widened. “Come on!” he whined.
I crossed my arms over my chest and kept staring at him. He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “The things I do for you.” he mumbled before looking at Louis. “Okay, I'll forget what a jerk he is and try to be okay with him.” he grumbled.
“Great! Now, who's hungry?” Louis smiled.
“I'll help you cook.” Zayn offered.
“Okay, you two,” Louis pointed at me. “Go upstairs to change, you're soaking the carpet.” he sounded like a mother talking to her kids.
“Okay, mom,” Harry teased and I giggled. He wrapped his arm around me and we both got upstairs.
As I was about to enter my bedroom, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom. I gasped in surprise and gave him a strange look as he pressed me against the wall.
“Let's take a shower together, shall we?” he smirked and without thinking about it, I crashed my lips against his, giving him my answer.
______________________________________
A/N: And they're together again!! Hope you liked it! Give me thoughts!! Is your anger for Harry now gone now that you know that he wasn't cheating? Because that's the truth ;) I know I upset you all and I made you furious, soooo I'm kind of sorry but I'm also kind of not :D I love you all though, don't forget it!! Thanks for reading!! Please vote and comment!! Lots of lovee xx :)