TW WARNING BEFORE READING THROUGH: profound description of surviving a natural disaster, mentions of distress, injured/deaths, anxiety, health concerns(asthma, allergies, dog bite, medicines, nightmares), vague mention of sewerside, internet drama in DSMP
(..looking at this, i think ive been through a lotO_o;; the fact i left out a quarter of it unsaid cuz hahahah am not fully admitting loads of emotional repressed baggageXD)
DISCRETION IS ADVISED, YOU MAY SCROLL FAR DOWN TO REACH THE SUMMARY WOOOHHH
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I think what happened yesterday was just the breaking point. I really can't keep with everything and I wish for a moment things would stop. So basically, I almost died yesterday..what an ao3 moment much but still-
A magnitude of 6.8 - 7.2 with an intensity of 4 - 6 earthquake erupted close to my area, and it was..actually terrifying. It's one of those short moments where I actually feared for my life, holding onto my sick little brother as everything fell apart and I felt like the world was ending.
We tend to get them a lot, and most of the time, we get used to it. But the shake wasn't just a simple back and forth, I was thrashed around on all sides, and balance doesn't exist at that point. Running off was almost impossible without tripping and falling. It felt like it happened for more than a minute..it felt like it would never stop.
I could only hold my baby brother and beg for all to be over. I really thought the roof would collapse before us, I really thought the volcano close to us erupted(the noise was just something huge, unfinished building, fell close to our house..yup)..I really thought I was going to die.
But I didn't so:D
There was a blackout, and the house's kind of a mess, and nothing broke much. The backyard though..err, half of it was just demolished and the garden was..yep.
In the end, I'm glad the people I know or near me are still okay, and I hope that when I come back to school, there's no one missing or deceased.
An hour away from my rural area, two malls were partly destroyed, the other's ceiling just..fell off completely, and I hope no one was there before it fell.
I saw videos of so many students trying to stay alive from the shake, that they were just hanging out with their group on the mall since it was a Friday afternoon right after their classes.
Cries of children..people, begging God to stop the disaster, or save them, and crying out for their loved ones..away from home..and could die right then and there.
The water went away from the shore, and everyone feared a tsunami might form from that.
I might not have classes for a day or two, cuz they'll be patching up my school and fixing the road.
So I'm okay, just extremely anxious and couldn't sleep and hoping that there'd be no aftershocks.
I planned to write this up to tell you that I'm still aliveXD and also to please respect my decision that there'll be a hold on this story.
And due to everything that's been happening to me, I can't assure that I might be able to satisfy you all anymore.
I just got out from dying, and other than that, I've been living on pills in order to breathe well, and deal with daily allergies.
I also got bitten by a dog the same day the earthquake happened and have to finish up my shots!XD
Just oh gods- a lot- And my grades aren't doing so well, I'm not failing, but I'm not excelling either which frustrates me-
I'm so tired that even if I wake up with pills, I'm still heavily exhausted, with what's going on at home, at school-
Oh fck- even trying to stop another fcking friend from ending their life-
The nightmares, the nights of endless coughs and wheezing,-
and it hurts-
and i couldnt breathe-
But I have to keep going anyway..because I can't just give up, can I?..
I can't.
So yea! Things will be on hold until I get my shet together, I'll probably be back once I'm done with finals instead, and there'll be a Christmas break and everything.
But due to the earthquake, the possible stronger aftershocks, and the school schedule all ruined, I'm not so sure anymore.
I also have a rough dilemma if I ever continue writing about Ivory - generally the DSMP. The drama and the allegations, it's kind of getting to me a little. Since I have yet to write the unnerving parts of discduo, it makes me a little uncomfortable.
I could still continue writing DSMP stuff, just..maybe a little off of discduo. I'm not hating on anyone, just the thoughts and people's words they say around to content creators getting to me a little is all.
I tried not to get affected by it, I really did.
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I'll be putting Ivory on an indefinite hold.
Hope you all are doing alright, and aroundO_o
At this point, I hardly mind if my readers aren't around anymore. I've been slow and imperfect and unable to make a commitment to my schedule.
In the end, I'm just a burnt out college medical student, being a parental figure of so many children so I have no excuse to look weak and get sick.
I'm like..Dadza or something>:0
Just take care of yourself, and life moves on and you just gotta roll with it.
You got this guys, whatever you do, me proud- I doubt this is a goodbye just yet- theres still drafts here left unedited>:3 I suppose it's more of a..see you all real soon for now!!!<33
oOo//