The pain you caused has left me dead inside...
One Day Later.
Rebecca's POV
"And then I told him, 'dude, that's your mother, not the singer'," Josh said and he and Aaron laughed at the joke.
I stayed silent, my eyes staring down at the paper in front of me. Class is boring, and I don't find it in me to have fun with the boys like I used to. Jacob is missing today, he didn't come at all, which I'm kind of glad for. Josh and Aaron won't stop joking and laughing, causing the teacher to glare at them every two minutes.
"Little Becca is moody today," Aaron teased.
"He's right, are you okay? Or you sleepy?" Josh asked, lightly poking my shoulder.
"Both." I replied quietly. I didn't sleep much last night. Harry's words were replaying in my head, the words he told me even though he wasn't here.
"Take a nap, we'll wake you up when we're done." Aaron suggested.
"Alright guys, you're free to go." the teacher announced, making relief wash through me.
"Or not." Aaron chuckled and the three of us stood up.
"Mr.Salvatore and mr.Carter, you stay here, I need to talk to you two." the teacher said and they both groaned.
I didn't say anything as I stepped out of the class. Niall was leaning against the wall right next to the door and once I came out he gave me a small smile.
"Hey, how you're feeling today?" he asked gently and wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we started walking down the corridor.
"I'm okay." I replied.
"Nice fedora, where did you get it?" he asked, smiling as he glanced at it.
"Harry bought it for me.." I murmured, my chest tightening.
His eyes widened and sadness flashed behind his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't-,"
"It's okay, Niall. Really." I cut him off, assuring him.
"Let's go eat something, I'm starving." he changed the subject and led me to the cafeteria.
Emily and Hannah had already taken their seats when we got inside. Emily's brown eyes immidiately found mine and she motioned for us to go there. Niall went to bring my food and I sat there with the girls.
"Hey sweetie, are you okay? Hannah told me what happened." Emily said, giving me a worried look.
"I'm okay." I nodded.
"If you need anything just tell me okay? And if you don't feel like going to work then I'll tell boss that you're ill or something." she rushed the words.
"Thanks." I cracked a forced smile. They're all so good, they care about me, they love me, more than someone else that I thought he would give his life for me.
How stupid was I? To commit suicide because I broke up with him that day...if you haven't done that, he would never tell you he loves you. And now that he did? It was all lies. It doesn't matter if he said it or not, because he didn't mean it.
"Would you like to go for shopping or something? Just to make you feel better?" Hannah suggested from across, giving me a small, sweet smile.
"No." I shook my head. "When did you have a haircut?" I asked her, changing the subject. I didn't like that everyone had their attention on me.
"Two days ago." she replied simply.
"Here I am," Niall appeared and placed my tray in front of me. "I told them to take out the tomato in your sandwhich, I know you like it better this way." he informed as he sat down next to me.
"Thanks." I murmured and looked down at the food. My stomach was a knot, I couldn't eat anything.
"So umm, our next game is in two days, do you want to come?" Niall asked, staring at me with his blue eyes.
"Really?" my eyes widened. This was the first thing that actually caught my attention. "Where?"
"In St.Louis." he replied, smiling.
I nodded. "Amazing. I'm coming."
"Great! It's going to be fun." Hannah smiled.
"Liam and Zoe are also coming to see us." Niall said, surprising me.
"Perfect." Emily smirked.
"We are in the top five. Last game we played and Harry was with us was the best, coach said that." Niall said happily.
I pursed my lips and my heart thudded painfully at this. Hannah and Emily glared at Niall and he gave them confused looks before he realised and covered his mouth with his hand. He looked at me with worried eyes and wrapped his arms around me.
"God, I'm sorry Rebecca, I didn't mean to mention him." he apologised.
"It's fine, Niall, you don't have to apologise." I assured, tapping his back with my hands.
He pulled back and gave me a small smile before taking a large bite from his sandwhich. I guess he prefered to eat than to talk.
Minutes passed and they basically talked and ate, I just sat there, staring at them. I didn't really want to talk, how much eat. My mind took me back to Harry twice, and I had to force my attention to focus on what Hannah was saying.
"It's time to get to class," I said and stood up.
"Me too, see you guys later," Hannah said and quickly pecked Niall's lips before following me out of the cafeteria.
We walked down the corridor in silence. She suddenly took hold of my arm and gently turned me to face her. I furrowed my brows and looked at her in confusion.
"Wait, I need to tell you something." Hannah said.
"What is it?" I asked.
She pursed her lips, her blue eyes showing sadness. "It's about Harry."
My already shattered heart tugged with worry. For a moment, I wanted to tell her that I don't care, but by the way she stared at me, I knew that I should listen to what she has to say.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"He...he won't stop calling me, Becca. He keeps texting me and begging me to tell you to give him another chance. I know you don't want to even think about it, but..he sounded so guilty on the phone.." her words made memories of him crying flash behind my eyes.
"He calls me too..But I don't answer. Ever." I said lowly.
"Don't you think you should work it out? You always seemed sad when you two fought...I mean..wouldn't you want to try one more time?" she sounded uncertain as she spoke.
"No." I shook my head. "Next time he calls you just tell him not to bother you anymore. Tell him that I moved on and I want him to do the same." I said as calmly as I could.
She gave me a worried look and pursed her lips in a tight line.
"I don't want to do this anymore, Hannah. I just don't..I'm not going back to him." I said and stepped inside the class, hearing a voice inside my head screaming at me 'you know you don't mean those words..', even though I feel like I do.
Harry's POV
I waited impatiently underneath the tree, pacing back and forth, my hands in my pockets. My heart is pounding anxiously and my stomach is like a tight rock. I haven't slept for two days straight and I just can't take her out of my head. I just fucking can't.
I heard footsteps approaching me and I turned to see her walking towards me, her face blank, blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders. I inhaled from my nose, preparing myself for what's to come.
"What did she say?" I asked.
She stood in front of me and shook her head. "She doesn't want to do this. She said she wants you to move on because she'll do the same." her words made frustration and dissapointment to flood through my veins.
I pulled my lips into my mouth and looked away. I could feel her heartbeat in that damn building, I could feel her breathing, I could smell her perfume, but I couldn't hear what's going on around her or see through. Even my skills don't work on her anymore..I'm weak when it comes to her and that's a fucking proof.
"Why? Why won't she try one more time?" I said and looked at her.
She shrugged. "Maybe the others are right. Maybe she indeed doesn't love you anymore."
"Don't fucking say this," I warned, my hand roughly wrapping around her chin. She gave me a scared look as I glared at her. "I know she still loves me, she's just in denial." I hissed and pulled away.
"You're in denial, Harry, not her." she shot, her words pinching my stomach. "You just can't accept the fact that she's not yours anymore, that you two are over."
"No, no, she will come back to me, she always does, we always stick together no matter what." I said, shaking my head, my eyes staring down on the green grass.
"She always did, when she loved you. She doesn't anymore, so stop hoping." she sighed.
"You know what? I should never ask for your fucking help, I knew you would be a bitch and throw my mistakes in my face," I scolded, glaring at her.
"Hey! You should be glad I helped you! I should have never helped you in the first place!" she claimed.
"You didn't have much of a choice," I smirked. It's true, I compelled her to, even if she didn't want to help me she would. "Nevermind, I should have known you were so useless." I spat.
She gasped and glared at me. "You know what? You're such a jerk! Not wondering why Rebecca left you! She wasted her time by being with such a douche like you!" she yelled, her cheeks flushing red out of anger.
Her words only made me wanna smack her. "Shut the fuck up or I'm going to kill you." I threatened with a growl, glaring directly into her eyes.
I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my hair. I should just go inside that building and talk to her. I should just go on with this. There's no point of putting her brainless friends try for me.
I started walking towards the building and I suddenly felt two hands wrapping around my arm, pushing me back. I came to a halt and turned to raise a brow at Hannah.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I hissed and jerked my arm away.
"Don't go in there, you'll make things worse. Don't you fucking think before you act for God's sake?" she seethed, blue eyes angry.
"There's no time to think, I have to talk to her." I said flatly.
"Give her some time. She's not ready to talk to you or see you. Why don't you think of her good instead of yours?" she hissed.
She's right. Just bursting into the class and taking her out to talk to her will make things worse.
I sighed heavily. "And what are you suggesting then?" I asked. I hope she doesn't say anything stupid.
"Give her some time."
She did say something stupid.
I chuckled. "Are you that stupid? I told you there's no time left, I have to talk to her." I raised a mocking brow.
"There is time if you love her and care about her."
Silence for a few seconds.
It pissed me off that she was right and I wasn't.
"Fine," I grumbled. My heart pulled me towards the building, telling me to go there and tell her everything, but my mind told me not to. Maybe it's time to follow logic and not my heart.
I stood in front of her and stared right into her eyes. "Forget everything we said and that I came here. Keep your mouth shut and don't say anything to anyone." I compelled her before walking past her and heading to my car.
One more day without seeing her or talking to her.
I can't believe this is actually happening, that we have spaces between us and that I can't talk to her.
With one last glance at the building, I turned on the engine and drove off, leaving my only hope standing underneath that tree Rebecca and I once shared kisses and hugs.
...
Rebecca's POV
"I better get going, I need to take a nap," I said as Hannah, Emily and I walked out of the building.
"Are you coming to work or not?" Emily asked.
"No. I better stay home, I don't want to go there.." I answered.
She nodded. "Okay, I'll tell him you're ill." she winked.
"Okay girls, I better get going, I have to stay late at the hospital tonight." Hannah groaned. The word 'hospital' made my stomach churn. She pulled me in for a hug. "See you later, sweetie,"
I hugged her back and then I suddenly smelled Harry's scent on her. I furrowed my brows and pulled back, giving her a strange look. She furrowed her brows in confusion.
"What?" she asked.
"Is that..Harry's cologne?" I asked.
"What? No, are you crazy?" she chuckled.
"Sorry, I just..." I shrugged and shook my head. I swear this is Harry's cologne. "See you girls." I quickly hugged Emily and walked over to my car.
Minutes later I was in my car, driving back to my house. I turned on the radio, listening to Maroon 5 just to take my head off of Harry's cologne. I'm sure that was Harry's scent on Hannah. Maybe I'm going crazy, I don't know..
Suddenly, the music was down and another song started playing. I frowned as I listened to the soft tune of the guitar playing.
"I got a heart,"
I gasped loudly, my eyes ready to pop out. No way, this is not happening.
"And I got a soul,"
My heart felt as if it was ripped open once again and I reached to press the button to turn the radio off but something inside of me made me stop.
"Believe me I will use them both,"
Harry's voice sounded so nice..so gentle..so carrying that it brought tears to my eyes. The memory of his face right in front of mine when he sang those first lyrics to me flashed behind my eyes.
"We made a start, be it a false one I know,"
"Baby I don't want to feel alone,"
And when I thought it was going to end, it didn't, making curiosity grow stronger. I wanted to hear more, because a wave of warmth washed through me.
"So kiss me where I lay down my, hands pressed to your cheeks,"
"A long way from the playground,"
"I have loved you since we were 18,"
My heart raced uncontrollably in my chest and the air in the room thickened.
"Long before we both thought the same thing,"
"To be loved and to be in love,"
His voice was laced with pain as he sang. The tears stung into my eyes as I bit my lower lip, wanting only to stay as calm as I could.
"All I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you,"
"And I wanna love like you made me feel, when we were 18,"
And then the song returned back to the other I was listening to. My heart ached so much as the memory of me and Harry in bed when he sang that to me was still fresh into my brain. And then's when I realised that Harry did it. Harry got into my head again and made me listen to him whilst he was singing.
That son of a bitch...
I sighed heavily and wiped my eyes. I have to stop crying. And he has to stop messing with my head. Even though the song was beautiful and touching, I knew I had to let it just be that, a song. Not something more special.
I parked the car and went back inside my house. Louis was cooking in the kitchen so I just went to the living room and watched some TV, killing some time. Harry's voice was still in my head, the beautiful song that had lyrics that were made out of his life was heart-warming.
"So, Zayn is coming over tonight, hope you don't mind," Louis said as he entered the room, carrying a bowl of ice cream for me.
I shook my head. "No. I'm okay with it." I assured as he handed me the bowl. "Thanks."
"We're probably going to watch a movie or something." he said as he sat down next to me. "How are you today?"
"I'm okay." Three different people asked me that question but they received the same answer.
Silence for a few seconds and the question that I wanted to ask was literally going to slip out of my mouth. So after taking a breath, I parted my lips to speak.
"How is he?"
Louis's head snapped towards me, blue eyes wide. He gave me a stressed look before running a hand down his face.
"Why are you asking? You shouldn't be worrying about him." he muttered, looking away.
"I want to know how he is." I replied quietly.
He sighed heavily before sinking further into the couch. "He's...not okay..he's definetely not okay with the fact that you're done with him. He's lost. But I guess he will be okay later." he said.
I nodded. "I'm going to take a shower, you can finish this," I said and handed him the bowl of ice cream.
"Okay." he murmured as I stood up and left the room.
I know he's not okay, I'm not stupid. I know he's not fine with my decision. I know he won't be okay any time soon. I know he won't ever be capable of healing the wounds I caused. But he has to. Just like I have to.
If I'm strong enough to go through this, then Harry is too.
...
"I got it!" Louis announced when the doorbell rang and stood up from the couch.
"Do you want me to pause it?" I asked, holding the remote.
"No, I'm fine," Louis said.
"Do you want another glass of cola?" I asked Zayn as I stood up and grabbed my glass.
"Oh, I can do that, you sit," Zayn said and stood up.
"No, no, Jesus Zayn, I'm not useless, this is my house," I let a light chuckle and grabbed his glass too.
"Okay," he gave me a small smile and sat back down.
I walked out of the living room the same time Louis came in, holding two boxes of pizza. I accidentaly dropped one glass and let a small scream out of shock, causing the glass to break into pieces on the floor.
"Oh shit," I cursed.
"Sorry, it's my fault," Louis apologised, shaking his head.
"No, it's fine." I sighed. I feel like I say the same things all the time and it pisses me off. "I'll clean this up."
"No I will, you take these in there," Louis said, handing me the boxes.
"Here," I gave him the other glass. "Thanks." I gave him a small smile before entering the living room again.
"What did you do again you crazy fucks?" Zayn cackled when I placed the boxes on the coffee table.
"We broke a glass, nothing bad." I innocently shrugged and opened the first box of pizza. The amazing smell hit my nostrils, making me let a low moan. "This is heaven."
"Mhmm," Zayn nodded from beside me, smirking.
"Everything's cleaned up," Louis said as he came in.
We watched the movie D.U.F.F and had a good time. I was glad my friends were here for me now that I needed them. They filled a small part of the emptiness in my heart and I didn't think of Harry all the time.
"Ah, I'm so tired," I yawned. "I better go upstairs." I said and stood up.
"Do you want me to join you?" Louis asked before his eyes fell on the dirty plates and glasses on the coffee table. "Well..Zayn better join you, I'm going to wash the dishes." he said simply.
"It's fine, really, I can sleep alone." I let a light chuckle.
Louis gave me a blank look. "I know what I'm saying." he turned to Zayn. "Zayn mate, would you mind?"
"No, of course not." Zayn shook his head and walked towards me.
We both went upstairs to my bedroom. I told him that in the room next to mine there are some of Harry's clothes in case he wanted to change, but of course he didn't agree. He jumped in bed only in his boxers and I felt kind of awkward. I changed into my sweats and a red tee before joining him in bed.
"I'm not gonna touch you if you don't want to, don't worry." He chuckled.
"No, it's not that." I said and pulled the covers up to my body. "I just..I don't know..it feels odd.." I murmured.
"Why? I'm your friend for years now." he said, furrowing his brows.
"I.." I couldn't explain it. It just didn't felt right, sleeping in the same bed with someone that isn't Harry.
"So you feel comfortable with Harry whom you know for months and you don't with me who you know for years?" he said and chuckled at the end.
I sighed and lyed on my back. "Nevermind, can we please drop it?" I said.
He nodded. "Yeah." he said softly and lied back down. "Do you want me to.." he opened his arm and I nodded. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned my head against his shoulder, my hand placed on his tanned chest.
"Goodnight, Zayn." I murmured and closed my eyes.
"Goodnight, Becca." he said gently.
The last thing that crossed my mind before I fell asleep was Harry's words: "goodnight, Rebecca. Dream of me."
Harry's POV
I would never imagine that I would see that.
I would never imagine that my girl would lay in bed in someone else's arms.
I would never imagine that she would find comfort into someone else's embrace.
My blood boiled with jealousy as I stood outside her window, staring at them sleeping. Looks like she's already moving on, like she's already with someone else, but I know better. Rebecca's not the kind of girl that would go with the first man she would see.
I wanted to go inside, push that guy away from her and hold her in my arms. I wanted to lay in the same bed with her as I did all this time. I wanted to fondle her hair and murmur sweet words to her ear until she sleeps. I wanted to kiss her forehead and run my hand up and down her back.
My throat tightened as new tears formed into my eyes. I know she heard me singing today. I felt her crying. I hoped this would bring the love back to her heart. I hoped this would change her mind. Looks like I was wrong again.
"I love you, Rebecca..Even though you don't anymore.." I whispered before walking away, knowing that my girl will sleep with another man by her side tonight.
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A/N: I want to know what you think! Do you think Rebecca shouldn't go back to Harry? Do you think Harry should move on and leave her alone? Do you think Rebecca is going to find someone else?? Leave a comment saying your opinion!! Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote ;) Love you all!! Xxx