(I'm spiraling into insanity rn, ngl)
(Caelus, looking fine as usual 😏)
"Want to talk about it?"
"Nah, not really."
Jing Yuan watched y/n as she carefully cleaned a set of Cloud Knight armor, her e/c eyes focused. He watched how her gaze skimmed over old scratches and scuffs on the armor's surface.
The young man took a seat beside her, watching as she continued to tend to the old set of armor. He focused on her hands and the way they shook slightly as she worked. It wasn't noticeable at first glance, but it was there.
Wordlessly, Jing Yuan placed a hand on her head and tipped her over so she was leaning against him. She tensed a little, before the trembling in her hands spread to the rest of her as tears gathered in her eyes.
It never got easy, watching the spiritfarers take someone away. It shook the young Cloud Knight to her core every single time, and she would barely hold herself together until one small thing finally caused her to break down.
She was careful about who she broke down in front of.
Very selective, somehow managing to hold it in around people she didn't want to cry around.
As much as she bickered with her white haired companion, the quiet sobs she let out in this rare moment of vulnerability were a sign that she still felt comfortable with relying on him for support.
Jing Yuan wasn't always there when she needed him, but he wanted to be. From now on, he decided he was going to be there for her however he could.
Even if that meant she gave him that murder glare.
"Let me go."
A simple statement, but it held the weight of hours and hours of fury that Jing Yuan would be subjected to. Usually, he'd just brush it off and deal with the 💩 storm later, but this situation was a bit different.
Y/n was desperate. There was despair in her eyes, and her breathing was labored as she tried to pry the general's arm away as she looked back and forth between his face and the spiritfarer taking her mother away.
The further and further m/n got, the heavier y/n's breathing became as her panic increased and tears began to gather in her eyes.
"Hey, no, they can't take her away." her words were rushed and hasty as she tried to squirm her way out of Jing Yuan's grasp, "Damn it, let me go! I can't lose her!"
"I'm sorry, y/n." was all Jing Yuan could say as he held her still. He didn't want to see his friend's mother being taken away either, but somehow seeing the look of disbelief and hurt in her face was worse, "It's time."
"No it's not, no the hell it's not!" y/n protested, "You can't do this, you can't—!" upon realizing that nobody was going to listen to a word she said, she zeroed in on her mother, "M...Mom! Mama!"
M/n seemed to be in a bit of a daze as the spiritfarer guided her away, and she showed no signs of hearing her daughter's shouts.
She was getting further away.
They were really taking her away!
Y/n's chest heaved as she gasped for air, mild whirling as she tried to think of something... anything! Nobody was listening to her, they were going to take her mother away no matter what she said.
'Should I just kill them?' she wondered, her hand twitching as she turned her gaze to the spiritfarer, 'It wouldn't even take half a minute. If I'm quick, I could get her to a Starskiff... leave the Luofu. But what about Yun?'
She thought back to the boy who had hidden in his room and buried himself under the covers, sobbing as y/n shouted at the spiritfarer to bring her mother back.
Even now, he was still curled up beneath the covers while tightly hugging one of m/n's blankets, crying into it non stop.
'No, no, no, don't take her away!'
"I won't let you take her away!" y/n shouted, finally breaking free of Jing Yuan's hold and beginning to make a run for the spiritfarer only for the jerk to grab her by the back of her clothing, "Damn it, Jing Yuan, don't get in my way! I'll kill you, you hear me!?"
Her threats were simply ignored as she was whirled around, Jing Yuan blocking her view of her mother and the spiritfarer. She tried to look past him, but he hugged her close and buried his face in the top of her head.
Y/n's blood still boiled with anger, and her body's as wracked with fear, but the fight in her began ebbing away when she was embraced.
Her fury began to fade as the reality of the situation began to set in slowly but surely. Her tears began to overflow, and she let out a choked sob.
"I don't wanna lose her... not her! Not her too! It's my fault, she shouldn't have to suffer because of me!" y/n cried, simply allowing her face to be rested against the General's shoulder as he held her close, "Jing Yuan...!"
"I know, and I'm sure you'll resent me for this, but... there's nothing that can be done. It's time that she rested, y/n." Jing Yuan murmured, to which y/n whimpered feebly and made a weak attempt to wiggle free, smacking him on the shoulder with a fist.
"You idiot, I'll kill you for this! I have to go to her, stop getting it my way!" y/n wept but Jing Yuan held on, keeping her in place as she cried and shouted, "Mama! Mama, come back, please! I'm sorry, I won't make you worry anymore! I'll stay home where it's safe, I'll help you with the restaurant, so please!"
The spiritfarer and m/n disappeared around the corner and, as soon as her mother disappeared from sight, y/n's leg gave out and she simply slumped over in Jing Yuan's grasp as she continued to cry.
"Mama...! Come back, don't leave me! Mama..."
"Ready to go?"
"Mm... I'm not sure."
B/n tilted his head, him and his father standing a distance away from the front door as m/n lingered just within the door frame.
"Feels like that, doesn't it? You know what going back means, don't you?" the young man inquired.
M/n regarded her son's face for a long moment, then her husband's. Her gaze was sad as she nodded.
B/n sighed, "Haa... she's not a baby anymore. Neither of them are. I know it feels cruel to leave them like this, but— OW!" he gave his father a look of disbelief while the olde man shook his head.
It was a moment before b/n's father glanced at m/n and smiled, "You want to be sure they'll be alright?"
"Yeah... I don't want to leave them if they won't be okay." M/n replied to which her husband crossed his arms with a thoughtful look.
"Probably not for a bit, but I'm sure they'll push through and continue on with their lives. Another three hundred something years or so and Yun may be joining us." the man reminded her, "They'll be fine. That boy is strong, and y/n will push through, just like she always does."
Perhaps... he was right.
Yum would indeed be joining them at some point within a few centuries, but what about y/n?
As far as m/n knew, she... couldn't die.
She'd just regenerate, and anytime someone did manage to kill her, she came right back. Not to mention her supposed newfound immunity to becoming mara-stricken.
Would she live forever?
The thought of y/n forever wandering the universe saddened m/n. She didn't want her daughter to be lonely... to be sad and destined to be alone forever.
Sure, Dan Feng— no, Dan Heng kept his promise to her, and they reunited as members of the Astral Express, but how many more reincarnation cycles could y/n stand? To be forgotten over and over again?
As for the Astral Express, she would certainly outlive both the express and its crew. Where would she go then?
"Mama..."
M/n whirled around and found y/n. Small again, just a little girl. Weeping and rubbing at the tears flowing from her eyes.
"Mama, don't leave me..." she sobbed.
M/n began to take a step towards the little girl, only for her husband and son to grab her hands. She gave them a look of despair, but they shook their heads.
She turned her gaze back to y/n, her heart cracking as the vision of her daughter continued to cry. It hurt to see her crying like this, it always had and always would.
She wasn't a little girl anymore.
She was grown now.
And while it seemed as though she would never die, m/n was sure that she would find her way and join her parents and brother once more.
Her father had managed to make it.
As had her older brother.
And m/n too, right in the brink of mara.
Yun would eventually reach the end of his life.
While y/n seemed infinitely far from the end of her own life, m/n had faith that they would all meet again someday.
The small form of that crying little girl way gone, replaced by the woman she'd become over the years.
Crying, yes.
Despairing, most definitely.
She was practically falling apart.
But allowing Jing Yuan to hold her, and returning his embrace as she hid her face in his shoulder.
M/n took a step back, then another.
She stood with her son and husband, watching as the door slowly closed. Not once did she tear her eyes away from y/n, and as the door was almost shut, their eyes met.
Y/n's gaze glimmered with tears.
"Mama..."
M/n gave her a sad smile.
"Until next time, y/n. Get back safely, okay?"
.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚
Y/n awoke with a start, clutching the sheets over her as she stared up at the ceiling. Her room, this was her room.
Gradually, her racing heart died down, and her eyelids dropped slightly as she inhaled deeply, then exhaled.
Her entire body hurt. She lacked energy, so much so that just turning over left her feeling exhausted.
She rolled over, curling up into a ball.
Gone. Her mother was gone.
Y/n knew very well that her mother had been around for a long time. Jing Yuan and the younger h/c haired woman had been around for over a millennia, but y/n's mother had been around even longer.
It was inevitable that when she got to such a point with her progression towards Mara, there would be no turning back. No choice but to relieve her of her suffering.
'They managed to save father's soul, and b/n's as well. Who knew that his stories about that sword were true...' y/n thought, staring blankly at the blankets swaddled around her, 'I heard news that mother's soul was saved as well... how many days has it been?'
After m/n was first taken away, y/n cried and carried on for hours until she fell asleep. Apparently, it'd been a day or two before she woke up.
Her body, which was usually so quick to recover from any and all damage, was weak and she'd ended up getting horribly ill. Jing Yuan sent a healer to take care of her, since Yun was apparently extremely ill as well and was in no condition to be doing much of anything, so the two siblings were bed ridden for a while.
Y/n hadn't been able to leave her room, but she'd heard word from the healer taking care of her that Yun had to be taken to the Alchemy Commission.
'He took it pretty hard, it seems. I hope he'll be alright...' y/n thought meekly. As she laid there in silence, the darkness in her mind began to creep in.
Her fault. It was all her fault.
Her mother would've been fine if she hadn't returned.
Yun would still have his mother.
He was sick because of y/n.
Y/n had done this to him.
Sick... she felt sick-!
A small gaging noise left her as she sat up abruptly and keeled over, coughing violently as nausea washed over her. She choked a little, eyes beginning to water as her breathing became heavy and labored again.
Too much. It was all too much...
Help. She needed help!
She couldn't breathe!
She opened her mouth to call, but was stopped by a sharp pain in her chest which had her clutching the area over her heart with a pained groan.
Y/n sat there for a bit, gasping for air as her shaky breathing teetered off into pathetic little noises.
Before she even realized what was happening, a hand carefully eased open her mouth and a cup was pressed against her lips. She failed to register what was happening until she felt cool liquid slip into her mouth and roll down her throat.
What a foul taste...!
She whined and fumbled to push the hand away, but she didn't quite have the energy for it as the rest of the liquid was poured into her mouth. The hand carefully caressed her throat, coaxing her into swallowing the rest of the foul liquid, and carefully rubbed her back when she was done.
"That was foul..." y/n mumbled.
"Apologies, y/n." the woman gave Jing Yuan a rueful look as he knelt beside her, his expression one of concern and his eyes empathetic as his friend's breathing began to settle once more, "It'll help you feel better, so I hope you'll continue to bear with it for now."
"Hm." y/n laid back down again, grimacing a slightly, "Did you need something? If this is about work, I'll be able to start again in another day or two."
The white haired man laughed, "No, no, don't worry about that. I'm actually here to take care of you."
"..."
"..."
"Go do your work, Jing Yuan."
"How do you expect me to work when a dear friend is suffering? Enough of your complaining, just let me take care of you."
"Do you even know how to take care of a sick person?" y/n questioned as Jing Yuan got up again and left a letter resting beside her head, "Huh? What's this?"
"The reason why I'm making sure you make a swift and thorough recovery." Jing Yuan replied as he gave her cheek a little pat, ignoring the scowl she sent him, "Don't worry about work for now, just rest, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, I've got it..." y/n mumbled before Jing Yuan left the room. She carefully took the letter and began to read it. It was from March 7th, she could tell since it'd been sealed with a cute little sticker.
She opened it up tentatively, and out came another letter. Confused, but still curious, y/n carefully opened up the second letter and found that it was from Bronya!
...who the hell was Bronya.
After carefully reading through it, she got the overall gist of it. Something about a Solwarm Festival. She recalled Gepard mentioning it when he visited her brief hospital visit.
Her breath hitched.
'Oh. This would mean going back to Jarilo-VI, right?'
She thought back to Jing Yuan's words, a swift and thorough recovery... ah, that meddling jerk face.
"I'll give it a day or two to think it over."