Kaboentle.
I hear banging. A big big bang by something so small and it forces me to open my eyes.
Infront of me lies a door. A standard size white door, standing alone in the middle of this room while fire roars from both the lengths of the door and the top.
The fire is red and it's awfully powerful but the banging only continues to get desperate. Someone is behind that door and their desperate to get out and it's clear that the fire that lies behind that door poses an obvious danger.
"Mah !!"
A voice says from behind the door while the banging continues and i am still glued to the floor, clueless.
"Mah !!!"
They scream again.
I get up from the floor and I walk towards the door barefoot and in a navy blue dress.
I try to pull the handle but it burns my hand and quickly rip it away from the handle as the pain becomes excruciating.
"Mah !!"
The little voice cries out even more desperate than ever.
This child is burning.
I kick at the door. And I try my hardest to get the door open as I fall even more and more desperate myself but he only cries out even more excruciatingly.
"I'm coming okay ? I'm coming just hang in there."
"Mah !!!"
He cries out louder.
I start screaming for help as i start to push at the door harder, the door is hot and everytime I make contact with it I burn until eventually I am up in flames too.
"Entle stop ! It's just me !"
He yells as he wraps his hands around me tighter, I was fighting him. I stop and I look at my surroundings, I am in our room, infront of that very white door that leads into our linen closet.
"Where's the boy Siya ?"
"Who ?"
"The boy who was burning where is he ?"
I ask as tears cascade down my cheeks and he only shakes his head at me.
"It was only just a dream. It was a bad dream nobodies here."
I move my hand over my face as I let out a cry and Siya pulls me closer to him.
Somehow I managed to jump out of bed and moved far away from it.
"But it felt so real..."
"I know...but it's okay, your okay."
"Siya you should have heard him, he was in agony and he was desperate to escape, he needed help... and when I thought that I'd had gotten to him the fire reached me instead."
"Maby the fire reaching you meant you saved him some how."
"Could it be the baby trying to communicate something to me ?"
I ask as I brush my hand over my belly and he shakes his head at me in disagreement.
"We don't know that."
"Mabye the baby is in danger too."
"The baby is okay, this could possibly just be a nightmare and were reading too much into it."
"How will we know if its-"
"Love..."
He cuts as he gently cups both my cheeks to make me stare up at him and he lightly strokes both of them with his thumb in a effort to calm me down.
"Our baby is safe and our baby is okay. She's still here."
He says as he brushes over my belly with my hand beneath his.
"Can you feel that ? She's still here."
He assures as he moves our hands over my tiny tiny bump and I stare down at it for a few moments before I nod my head in agreement.
"He's still here."
He kisses my forehead before he pulls me into a hug. A nice big warm hug and I close my eyes to savor this moment.
It was a dream.
It was just a dream.
After then he leads me back into bed and he tightly swaddles me in himself.
"I'm setting you an appointment with Patricia on Saturday."
"Love its okay, she said that this is normal it happens to people who grieve."
"Nothing is "normal" when it comes to you, if it raises concern we look into it."
"I have a session with Patricia on Wednesday I can always speak with her then."
I tell him and he releases a sigh before he kisses my forehead again.
"Okay. You just really had me worried there for a second."
"I am sorry."
"It's okay."
"How soon do you think you'll be able to get off work?"
"Not anytime soon. The launch is tonight and we have a lot of projects that we have to see through afterwards. So I don't know when."
"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be under this much stress while your carrying precious cargo."
"I am handling my stress levels well I know the risks and I love what I do i feel at peace when I am at work."
"Don't take this the wrong way, I admire what you do and I love you more for it but if it's detrimental to our baby I am afraid your going to have to lay of it for a while."
"We can make a deal, I can take an early maternity leave, that way I'd be able to have more time to rest before the baby comes and the NGO would have already picked up."
"How's about three times a week you work from home and you take an early maternity."
Sacrifices. You need to learn to make Sacrifices, this isn't your baby alone.
"Okay."
I tell him and he squeezes me tighter.
"Thank you."
He says and I release a sigh.
"I'm nervous about the launch tonight, everybody is going to be there and I am so so nervous. I've done a lot of press appearances with my family but never one of my own, this is a new experience for me."
"But I'll be right by your side. Right next to you cheering you on."
"Together along with "thumbelina ?"
"Together along with Thumbelina."
He says as he releases a chuckle and I smile at him.
He calls the baby thumbalina now more so because he says that the baby "told" him that she's a girl which I am still trying to get used to going by because i am hoping for a boy, but he named her thumbelina which is only fitting because he's literally the size of his thumb now.
"I hope she'll be cooperative today I hate having to scold at her."
"But it's not his fault that he's evaded my body, technically it's yours."
"I'd also act like I didn't play a part in making this baby If I we're you too."
"Siya."
I say as I start to laugh out loud and he laughs together with me.
"Mara love waitsi gore ke galletse eng ?"
[ love do you know what I am currently craving ?"]
I ask him, randomly and I study his face to see if he caught what I've just said. His face stays confused for a few moments and a look of annoyance marks that its finally clicked.
He knows.
"Ha.ah love, usu qalile ngama "love ngi galletse" akho, njalo nje u "galletse" wena."
[No love, you've started again with your cravings. Every single night your always craving something."
He sulks while he shakes his head and I laugh again.
"But Siya."
"Ngeke, njalo nje, ugalletse something wena."
"Love tlhe..."
[Please love.]
"Ngeke Entle..."
[No Entle.]
"Mara love you told me that re khulelwe rele babedi now why does it seem like things have changed ?"
[Were both pregnant.]
"Angi thandi lento yakho yokuthi nge skhathi esinje ugalele something wena."
He complains and I giggle again.
[I don't like this habit of yours of always craving something at this hour.]
"Do it for thumbelina."
"Thumbalina will just have to understand that daddy's tired."
As soon as he says this I smile at him again and i just stare before he looks at me again.
"I'm happy that I'm getting to do this with you, although a few days ago it didn't seem like it but I am happy that I have you to raise thumbelina with and to spend the rest of my days with."
"And i couldn't have asked for a better person to build a family with. A better person to grow old and grey with."
He responds and I blush before he smiles at me.
"I think i can compromise a few hours of sleep."
He says as he moves to get out of bed with me and i get excited again.
We make our way to the kitchen to make my midnight snack until we go back to bed and fall asleep again and we later wake up to start preparing for the launch.
The makeup artist comes, along with the royal seamstresses who might I add did a phenomenal job with our outfits.
I'm going up and above handling calls finalizing the event and adding the finishing touches untill it's time for us to actually start getting ready.
Anele shows up ready with a big bouquet of roses in between her arms that covers her whole face and I can't help but smile at her and she does a little shimmy of excitement when she sees me.
"Oh Nelly, these are gorgeous. Thank you so much."
I thank her as I take them from her hands and I give them a little sniff. I can't get over florist scents.
"This is just a Goodluck gift from hubby and to also express just how proud we are of you."
"Oh he's too sweet. You got one of the good ones Nelly."
I say as I stare away from the flowers and up at her and she gives me a small smile. Her eyes have turned sad.
"Anele... what's wrong ?"
"I'm okay don't worry about me, I am just astonished at how strong you are going through all of this."
"I had no choice but to move on, I have another baby to raise we just have to keep on moving."
"I don't think I'd have been able to survive had i lost one of my boys."
She says as she takes a seat next to me and I turn to look at her.
"I'm not surviving Anele. I am just living through it because I don't have a choice but deep inside ? I am a mess."
"I can imagine how that feels.
But this isn't the time for us to be all sad and everything, this is your night and were here to celebrate you."
She says as she lightly dabs at my tears so they don't stain my make up and I smile at her and she smiles at me too.
"Nelly I need to ask you something..."
"Anything."
She says as her face turns serious.
I wouldn't be asking her if I didn't think that she knew something about these things.
"This morning I dreamt of a child. A young young boy Nelly he was burning behind a door and he kept shouting for help and I couldn't help him no matter how much I tried."
"Did you burn with him ?"
"I don't know..."
I tell her and she looks away from me and she looks around.
"What color was the fire ?"
"Red."
"Do you have white candles ?"
"Yeah i think so."
"Please go and get two of them together with a silver bowl and fill it with water."
She directs and I get up from the chair to the pantry to get and grab the and the silver bowl while I make sure that Siya does not see me.
When I get back into the room I find her with a white shawl wrapped around her head kneeling towards a window.
"Lock the door."
I lock the door while she turns the candles upright and I then move to kneel next to her.
"Light one candle and I'll light the other."
She instructs as she passes me a lighter and I light my candle and mine takes a little longer to turn on but it eventually turns on and I drip the wax onto a plate to make them stand upright.
She stares at the candle for sometime before she stares into the water and I see her brows start to furrow.
"Did you know whos child it was ?"
"No..."
"You have no idea ?"
She asks again and I widen my eyes at her to repeat my answer yet again.
"No."
I answer.
"Are you sure ?"
"Nelly."
I say and she shakes her head.
"I am sorry, it's just...something is not right here."
"Anele what's going on ?"
"I don't even understand."
"Who does it involve ?"
"Siya."
She simply answers and I look at the water again.
"What does Siya have to do with this ?"
I asks
"If I tell you what's happening here this stays between us, just until we are sure.
"This will."
"You can't tell Siya you can't tell anybody else."
"Anele what is this ?"
I ask and she looks away from me and at the water inside the bowl before she looks at me one last time.