The Black The white and the grey.

Chapter 2 | Ignorant.

Kaboentle.

I run my hands down the silky material as I stare at the dress that's hugged around my voluptuous figure.

I look horrible.

Pale skin, chapped lips and pink eyes. I feel horrible.

Growing up I've always hated my figure, I've always hated how disproportionate it seemed and I hated my lower half the most. My thighs and legs are almost the same thickness and thighs two times thicker and a gifted behind. A wasp like waist and petite breasts.

They used to call me fat and chubby and all these other names under that umbrella until I hit puberty and I wasn't chubby anymore. I hated this more because then i felt objectified, I liked it better when I was seen as an object of humor instead of being sexualised.

I wore baggy clothes to hide my figure and I tried my all to gym off that excess fat until it just kept bouncing back over and over and I was forced to accept that this is who I am, this is how I am to be for the rest of my life.
I stopped trying to change my body and with that I lied myself into acquiring a perfect figure just like I lied myself into acceptance untill I was comfortable enough with where I had come from and what I am today.

It took me a lot to get here today and now fast foward years later an older ladies comments about what they stand to gain from my body thrusts me back to all those painful memories back in high school where I was seen as an object of sex rather than just Kaboentle. Back then being the princess of Bafokeng didn't even matter, but I despised myself then just like I do now.

I can feel myself spiraling out of control and I am doing my best to keep myself together but it's just so hard. Why am I being tormented this much. This marriage hasn't even begun and already I've endured the worst.

This feels like my childhood all over again.

"Are you happy with the dress ?"

It's the seamstress.
She's giving me a gentle smile through the mirror and I only give her a little nod.

"I am happy with the dress, although I would like for it to be tightened in a few spots, it's a little loose."
I say as I hold out the gap at the sides of my breasts and she smiles at me.

"Let me call them inside."

She leaves the room and I am left standing just staring at the maid before me in the mirror.

I need an escape.

"The first few days before the final ceremonies are always nerve wrecking... "

A voice says from behind me with a click from the door audible before her hills start to clunk against the wooden floor.

I stare at her through the mirror.
She's beyond beautiful.

"I'd say your satisfied with your dress ?"

"I am, they did an amazing job I am happy."

"Your lucky I stepped in when I did. Aunt Gcinile had given them the most hideous designs, they were all awful."

I give her a little smile and she smiles back at me.

The dresses are really beautiful.

"I honestly wouldn't have cared how they looked before, I'm already just ready to get this over and done with... but thank you, for stepping in when you did. The dresses are beautiful."

I say as I turn to physically stare at her.

She's even more prettier in real life. She's like a model.
Her eyes turn soft when her eyes meet mine and she gives me a sympathetic look. If I were me I'd feel sorry for myself as well. I don't blame her.