The Black The white and the grey.

Chapter 42 | I chose this.

Kaboentle.

My legs stop shaking as a gush of oxygen enters back into my lungs and I hold onto his arm tighter as he continues to thrust fast paced strokes in and out of me from the back and I am screaming for dear mercy.

His hands are clasping at my waist but he can't fully hold onto it because my waist has gotten bigger for obvious reasons so he improvises.

My neck, My thighs, my breast sometimes even my hair.

I've never had rough sex before, I've never imagined that I'd be on this end of the sex spectrum but here I am getting fucked in all positions, everywhere and at any given time. Harder, more often and a lot more intense at each time.

But also this is a side that's so new to me. I've never been introduced to it but yet I was thrown into it. I didn't decide if I liked it or not but I do enjoy it, a lot.

I love it when he goes slow on me. And he pays attention to my body and he intently makes love love me. I love making love to him too and at the same time I enjoy being slutted out just as much.
But sometimes I just want to connect with my husband, I want to feel his presence and I feel it everytime he is inside of me giving me crippling amounts of pleasure, yet at times he feels so far away at the very moment that he's supposed to be at his closest with me.

He stops thrusting and he releases inside of me squeezing my waist a little harder and I also release a sigh of relief before he pulls out of me and he lays back. Before I can even move to lay  back on his chest again, he's moving out of bed and he's closing the door to our bathroom.

No kisses, no cuddling nothing. Just complete detachment. What has this come too ?

I feel like a hooker. Men don't kiss hookers after sex right ?

I stay in bed for a few moments so my legs gain full functionality and I wear my underwear and my gown and I move down stairs to go and get his breakfast from Jabu.

I set it up on a tray along with his favorite juice and I place a little flower at the corner of his tray inside of a vase I painted from one of my pottery lesson I went with Anele a few weeks back just so I can cheer her up.

I take the tray and I go up the stairs and i get back inside of our room.

I tidy up the bed and I wait for him to come back out.

He's already dressed in his white shirt and his Ralph Lauren undercoat and suit pants and he smells amazing.

His beard is still a low trimmed and his skin looks good and so does his brush cut.

"I brought breakfast."
I tell him as I get up from the bed and I give him a small smile.

"I appreciate the gesture, but I am little pressed for time. Maby tomorrow morning."

He declines as he moves towards me and he holds my waist.

"Siya what's wrong?"

"Work is a little right now, it's quarterly reviews, I had to close down one shaft and I am not even sure our next one is going produce as many minerals as the last one. Festive season is around the corner so we need to push so that when we close for festive we won't be at a loss. I'm under a lot of pressure. "

"I know that its more than just work. I know your worried about our son but you can't keep pretending like everything is okay. Burying yourself in work everyday, you cant even look me in the eyes these days."

"It's not what you think it is. I am just trying to find a way to process all of this."

"By isolating yourself ?"