Song recomendation for the chapter: I almost do - Red. - Taylor Swift.
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"Are you awake?"
Charlie's phone lit up with a surprising message from Nick as he tried to do homework with Elle. He loved working in the small makeshift studio that Elle had set up in her house. She painted while Charlie put the finishing touches on one of his imaginary number projects. Both of them heard the notification from his phone over the music coming from their speakers, and neither could contain their excitement. They had agreed to have a sleepover the night before Charlie's concert so that they could vent about everything that was happening in their lives before facing Tao and Nick again.
"Is it him?" Elle bit her brush as she stopped paying attention to her painting for a moment. When she painted, her face got covered in small spots, and she had already designated an old overall for painting. She looked beautiful, and Charlie had sent her a photo of her painting to Tao without her noticing, to which he had only responded with a sticker of a kitten on fire.
"I don't think so. It's probably Karina with some update... It's him! How did you know?"
"I'm a witch, I told you."
"Something like that, I'm with Elle working at her house. How about you?"
"Working this late? The artist's life is so tough. I just got back from a bunch of boring meetings at Thurman. It was strange being on the other side. But I felt important."
"You see, when art calls, it calls. You make us sound more bohemian and interesting than we are. I'm working on imaginary numbers homework, and she's painting. I can't believe you're already part of the teachers we used to complain about in high school. Does that mean we're old now?"
"Have you talked this much after the messages the other day?"
"No... it's the first time. I had thought about saying something to him, but I didn't dare. I really want to know how his return has been, but we agreed to meet up until the concert."
"So... is this a step forward, then? Have you thought about what you're going to say when you see him?"
"I'll probably think of a thousand things and then forget each one and say whatever comes to my mind at the moment, which will undoubtedly be silly, cheesy, and strange."
"Wow, you sure have confidence in yourself. It actually doesn't sound like a bad plan."
"It definitely means we're old. Soon I'll need a cane to enter the physical education classroom. I was afraid I wouldn't feel old enough to teach so many kids, but I saw a few of them today, and I can't believe how small they look. It's weird to imagine us like that. What is Elle painting? I'd ask you about imaginary numbers, but I won't understand a thing."
"I know, it's been so long. But believe me, we probably looked even smaller back then. Generations nowadays are much more precocious." He continued by sending the picture of Elle that he had sent to Tao.
"I can't believe you sent her that picture."
"You look amazing... besides, I sent it to Tao before that."
Elle proceeded to hit him with a pillow.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, CHARLIE."
"Elle looks amazing. I need to have one of her paintings; I love them. Tell me Tao already has this picture."
"I just sent it to him, which earned me a slap in the face. She's the best. I love them too. What a shame you're not asking me about imaginary numbers; it was my chance to sound smarter than I am."
Elle's phone rang with a tone that both of them knew was only meant for Tao. She just looked at her friend with surprise and anger.
"See? Surprise photos work."
"If Tao is teasing me, I'm going to kill you." Of course, it wasn't him; he had just sent the picture back with a bunch of fire and heart emojis, which made Elle blush and laugh. "I don't know what I'm doing, going out with him on Friday. We broke up because we couldn't handle the long-distance... and that's still happening."
"Maybe it's your heart telling you that you should give it another chance."
"But nothing has changed. I'm going to spend more time here, and he'll leave in a few months when his internship ends."
"I think we should stop getting ahead of ourselves. Including me. Enjoy your date on Friday, and talk about it with Tao when the time comes. Don't you think you'd regret it if you didn't spend these months with him, even if it's just for now?"
"Of course, I wouldn't forgive myself."
"Then there's your answer."
"You don't have to talk to me about math to remind me of how incredibly intelligent you are <3." Charlie burst into laughter and blushed when he read that message from Nick.
It started with a series of blushing emojis and continued with another message, "Be honest with me, Nicolas, is there something else keeping you up at this late hour?" He couldn't help but smile again. It was like before, when they were just getting to know each other, sending each other strange hints that hinted at their interest and potential affection. He was thinking about all of that just as Elle took a picture of him.
"Revenge."
"Tao has millions of pictures of me, I don't think he'd care about that."
"I didn't send it to Tao." Elle smiled behind her paintbrush in a mischievous way.
"I don't believe you... Elle is not the same, Nick and I are not... it's different, we're not like Tao and you, and..." Charlie seemed genuinely concerned. He thought about sending Nick something to apologize, but then he thought that would be even weirder. He started to spiral into anxiety when his phone rang again. Nick had sent him the picture Elle took of him again, followed by several heart emojis.
In it, Charlie sat on the bench in Elle's studio, surrounded by her paintings, his legs pulled up to his chest, wearing his oversized sweater. He was laughing, and his blue eyes seemed to shine.
"Well, before, other things kept me up, but now I can't stop thinking about this picture. Charlie, you look... so good. I don't even know what to say." He continued by sending a selfie of himself lying on his bed with Nellie, where he looked... incredibly hot. He was wearing only an undershirt, freckles scattered across his skin, blushing, and with a beautiful smile. His muscles were visible under the shirt. Charlie took a deep breath and got lost in Nick's eyes, trying not to look at the rest. He remained spellbound, thinking about how beautiful he was.
How had he allowed himself to lose a man like that? And above all, how had he managed to make him... seemingly want to come back?
"Are you going to keep denying what you feel for him?" Charlie didn't respond to Elle's question; he just showed her the photo Nick had sent him, covering his face with the sweater he was wearing. Elle's eyes widened, and she bit her paintbrush, smudging her cheek with light blue paint. "Was he always this... attractive?"
"YES! WELL... NO! HE'S MORE SO NOW! I mean, he was attractive before, but god... now he's bigger, with shorter hair, and aghhhh... and he's a teacher, Elle, what's hotter than a teacher?"
"I'm glad you finally admit it."
"I haven't admitted anything yet. Elle, just a week ago, I was head over heels in love with Matias, and Nick and I weren't even talking... and now... now he sends me shirtless photos, and I... lose my mind."
"That's life sometimes." Elle had already gone back to painting. "What did you reply to him?"
He had been so consumed by how the photo made him feel that he hadn't been able to respond to anything yet.
"Nicolas Nelson! You can't send me photos like that without... warning."
"So I assume you liked it? Because if not, I can try again..."
"In that case... i didn't like it, not one bit, PLEASE try again"
"I think not. I think you did like it, and you're lying to me."
"You look... so good, Professor Nelson."
"CHARLIE NO."
"What? You don't like it when I call you that... Professor?" Charlie was just laughing as he continued the message with a series of suggestive emojis.
"<3 What are we doing? <3"
"Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say people call this flirting."
"We were supposed to have our big meeting tomorrow to talk and sort out this mess... and now we're already skipping a thousand steps."
"Sorry, you're right. We can stop here if you want. We can talk tomorrow."
"NO, CHARLIE. I didn't mean that. I really want to talk to you. I messaged you because I'm very nervous about tomorrow, and I knew you were the only one who would truly understand." That was a real relief. Charlie had wanted to talk to Nick all week, but since Tao assured him that everything would be fine and they'd talk on Friday, he had chosen not to.
"I'm glad you messaged me. I've wanted to do it all week but hadn't had the courage. I'm nervous too... but I have to say I'm excited for you to see me play <3"
"Charlie, you can message me anytime, seriously, always. I can't wait to see you play! Everyone tells me how amazing you've become, and if you were already incredible, one can only dream. But I'm also worried..."
"I think I hadn't messaged you because it's hard for me to understand that I still have the right to do so, you know? I feel like I lost that privilege a long time ago."
"I understand why you feel that way. But believe me, there's nothing I would have liked more than to know more about you during all this time."
Charlie felt really guilty now, but grateful and relieved.
"Thank you, Nick. You've always been so understanding of me and my messes. Why are you worried about seeing me play then?"
"Because watching you play has always had a very strong effect on me." The fire emoji Nick used after his message only made his head spin even more.
"Careful with your words... Professor Nelson <3. Do you remember when I taught you to play?"
"Do I remember? I don't know if I ever told you, but that was one of the first times you made my heart stop. I remember we shared that little bench, and you pressed your body against mine, took my hands, and looked at me with those eyes... And, well, from then on, it was a free fall. I got so nervous! At that time, I didn't even understand what I was feeling."
"I remember that too. You've never told me. Did I tell you the first time you made me feel that way?"
"Was it the day of the snow?"
"WHAT? No! I was already completely in love by then. That was the first time I saw you. I remember I went to the class list, and the teacher told me I had to sit next to you, that you were a grade ahead of me and played Rugby... I got so scared, but then I saw you... and I think the rest of the class disappeared. I don't remember anything else from that day. Just you. It was love at first sight."
"Bloody Charlie now I want to cry."
"Me too haha"
"Can we promise something?"
"Everything Nick"
"That tomorrow will be completely honest"
"I promised"
"Me too... Thanks Charlie. I needed this... But now i think i need to sleep ...¡And you too! Pretty big day tomorrow."
"Sweet dreams Nick... But wait, you send me a message to tell something in particular, don't you not?"
"Yes, but I prefer to tell you tomorrow."
"¿Sure?"
"Sure."
"Son then, until tomorrow profesor Nelson."
"I hate you... until tomorrow Char <3"
"WHY DID HE HAVE TO TELL ME, CHAR?"
"Did he stop doing it at any point?"
"Well, in the previous, I don't know, 5 YEARS MAYBE."
"Don't shout, Charlie, I can hear you just fine. Let me see, sweetheart... Has he gone to sleep?" Charlie nodded, and Elle put her brushes in water and approached the bench where Charlie was sitting. "You need to say it."
"Say what..."
"What you feel."
"I don't know what I feel."
"Of course you do. Describe what happened just now..."
"well we shared the first times we felt something for each other, and we flirted... a lot. It felt so good."
"And then..." Elle was holding Charlie's hands affectionately. Elle knew that Charlie wasn't the best at admitting when he needed help to sort things out, and that's what she was here for.
"Then... he asked us to promise that tomorrow we'd be honest."
"So what are you going to tell him tomorrow?"
"I'm going to tell him about Matias, and I'm going to say that..." Charlie was on the verge of tears. Elle knew what this meant to him. She knew that losing him had been like the universe confirming his worst fears, but she also knew that he was strong and sensible and needed to confront this if he had any hope of getting him back.
"What are you going to say?" Charlie didn't seem able to speak. "Look, I'll start. I'll tell Tao that... " Elle was surprised by her approach, but she couldn't ask for openness if she didn't provide it herself. "That I love him so much. That I want him back. That I want to try long-distance again. And you..."
"Elle, that's wonderful! I think..."
"CHARLIE! What are you going to tell Nick tomorrow?"
"That is like him." Elle smiled, while Charlie felt like the weight of the world was lifting off his shoulders. "That I haven't stopped liking him for a second in these five years. That I like him even when I ask for him to leave me. That I want him back. That I'm willing to do whatever it takes for us to heal. That I want us to be us again... that I miss my best friend, my boyfriend... and that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for pushing him away."
"Didn't it feel good to say it?"