Song recomendation for the chapter: Planeando El tiempo. - Elsa y el mar.
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After practically fleeing from his room and his memories, Nick hurried to tidy up his things and help his mother with dinner. It was a routine and somewhat melancholic activity that brought him a sense of calm. Together, as they had done millions of times in the past, they cooked, set the table, and ate peacefully. They talked about Nick and David's father's new whereabouts and how, surprisingly, David had visited Nick in London much more than he had expected. He seemed to have changed a bit, still the same old idiot, but much more open and understanding with Nick.
Although Nick knew why, he didn't want to say it in front of his mother to avoid making her angry. The reality was that Charlie was no longer in his life, and Imogen was, which seemed more comfortable and normal to David.
"Something just occurred to me, Nicky. The girls are always looking for things to exhibit at the center. Yesterday, while rearranging the basement, I found boxes of your great-grandfather's photographs. They're framed and everything, and he was very talented at what he did, besides... in the photos, it's quite noticeable how his family pales in comparison to those he called 'friends' and 'companions.'"
"Wait... Are you saying my grandfather was... gay?"
"It wasn't something we talked about much in the family, but I got very close to him toward the end of his life, and he confessed it to me. Finding those photos brought me a lot of joy; I hadn't thought about them in a long time. I don't know, maybe you could exhibit them at the center."
"That's a beautiful idea, Mom." Nick stopped washing the dishes for a moment. "I'll message Tao immediately; he'll surely like the idea of the exhibition and might help me. The girls will love the idea too. I'll bring the boxes. Thank you very much, Mom."
He had the best mother in the world, that's for sure.
He drove to the center to make it more convenient to transport the boxes. He had thought about looking at them himself, but he supposed it could be a good activity to share with Tao or the girls. He had to think about how to propose it.
He parked nearby and couldn't even unload the boxes from the car before...
"NO WAY, is that Nick Nelson?" Tara jumped into his arms, accompanied by Darcy, who was only shouting compliments and laughing.
"Dude, you look great. London suits you wonderfully. You have no idea how much we've missed you." He hugged them tightly for a few seconds before speaking. "I'm so happy to see you, girls... I have so much to tell and share with you. You look magnificent, and the center looks amazing. Congratulations."
"PLEASE COME IN, let's explore, and we'll tell you all about it."
He asked for their help with the boxes, and together they toured the center. They had told Nick and his friends about the idea of studying online together at home and creating a safe space for both of them. Since Darcy had cut off contact with her family, Tara couldn't stop thinking about ways to build another home for her. Eventually, the idea of the center emerged. They had so many friends dedicated to art and culture; Darcy was incredible at attracting people, managing them, and organizing. Plus, with her great cafe, she kept everything afloat. Tara was fantastic at designing spaces, so everything fell into place.
Nick had to hold back tears as he looked at everything. They talked about everything, well, almost everything, as they walked through the center. It was still growing, of course, and they lacked an audience, but the cafe, the library, a reading area, the exhibition area, Elle's work shop. Everything was beautiful, safe, full of life, and new ideas so that queer creatives from all over could find a safe place.
"Girls, you have no idea how proud I am of you. It's incredible. I'd like to support you with something." He told them about his great-grandfather and his mother's idea. Together, they opened the boxes and, moved by Sara's motivation, scheduled the exhibition on the calendar.
"Nick, please thank your mother very much; we should go visit her soon."
"Of course, her lasagna is my favorite." Darcy often thought about Sara's food. "You looked just like your great-grandfather, Nicky. I love the idea of the exhibition. It's beautiful. You'll have to think of a name."
"I plan to ask Tao to help me set it up. He could be the curator."
"She'll love the idea! You and your mother can be the intellectual authors and donors, and Tao can be the curator and museographer. He'll love the photos. Did you tell him yet?"
"No, not yet. I'll do it soon."
Tara and Darcy looked at each other with sadness, and they knew it was time to be honest.
"Okay, it's time for scolding."
Nick knew this moment would come.
"Nicolas, you have to be honest with us and face the situation. Darcy and I missed you so much, really. Elle, Tao, Isaac, we all missed you so much. It was hard not to take it personally that you didn't want to come to our events and visit the center. You hurt us."
"We understand that everything that happened with Charlie was tough, but..."
"But it's no excuse to abandon your friends. I know." Nick interrupted them and began to cry. "You have no idea how sorry I am, girls. You're my family, and I left you. You're absolutely right, and I'm so sorry. Leaving my home, leaving my mother, leaving you, leaving... Charlie, broke something in me. I convinced myself it had to be that way, that I had no right to take away his friends, and for some childish reason, I thought there were sides, and that everyone sided with him."
"That's ridiculous, Nick."
"I know, I know. I know it's not true. But I'll fix it. I'm here now, and even though I don't regret leaving, I'm here now, and among the many goals in this return, one is to leave no doubt that I'm a part of your lives, that I want to be a part of your lives, and I won't disappear again."
"We understand, Nick, really. You don't have to feel guilty about leaving; we were all happy for you, even Charlie. I don't blame you for needing time to heal and come back. Just remember that, no matter where you are in the world, being with us is always possible; let us know that you want us and think of us."
"And the train journey to London is short, silly boy; there are no excuses." Darcy hugged them both. "I'll get some beers for the three of us; we need to celebrate. Also, Nick, you have to remember that we were friends with you and Elle before joining the group. You're as important to the group as we are."
"You and Charlie were the magnets for everything, that's true." Tara held his hand while her girlfriend went for drinks. "I understand that when that ended, it seemed like everything else would end with you. But it didn't. Believe me."
"Thank you for this."
"Thank you, sweetheart." The sound of the opened beers and their toasting distracted them from the topic. "Speaking of resolutions... Have you told him you're here?"
"No. Not yet. I'm so scared."
"But he already knows, right? What's the issue?" Nick would love to see the world through Darcy's eyes from time to time.
"I know, and knowing him, he's probably blaming himself for finding out and me not telling him anything yet... right?" The girls' looks confirmed it. "I'm a mess. I think the reason it's so hard for me to look for him is that I don't know what to do when I find him. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about him. A lot. But I know our lives have changed so much; I can't just reappear and expect him not to be furious with me."
"You can't run away from what you'll feel when you see each other, and you can only know what that will be when it happens... When you say you've been thinking about him a lot, what tone are these thoughts in?"
"Is there a lot of clothing in these thoughts?" Darcy and Tara laughed, and Nick just blushed.
"Unfortunately, yes." Nick was surprised by his own response. "I don't know, I don't know. I just think about him more than I have in the past few years. I remember us. I feel us everywhere. I think it has to do with coming back. Everything around me reminds me of him."
"To me, it sounds like love, to be honest."
"DARCY," Tara laughed. "Look, Nick, I don't know what you can or can't feel for Charlie. It's very complicated, and so much has happened in these 5 years. It's impossible to expect it to be like before. But one thing I know hasn't changed, and I think you're ignoring it."
"What?"
"That he was your best friend. You did everything together. He knew you like no one else in this world. Nick, yes, you miss your boyfriend, and I understand that, but before finding out if that still exists, you have to regain your best friend. That's crucial."
"You're right. I'm getting ahead of myself. I just have to see him. Talk to him."
"He'll be opening the forum with his band this Friday. You have to be here."
"Do you think he'll want me here?"
"Of course," Darcy was choking on her words and her beer. "We were just talking about that today. I was thinking about how to invite you without it being weird."
"He hasn't told me anything... So, did he talk about me today with you guys?" Nick's heart raced.
"SEE, TARA, it's love, and they know it."
"YOU HAVE TO GO AT YOUR OWN PACE, SWEETIE." Tara playfully pinched her girlfriend to make her stop. "But yes, he was very nervous. He wants you to be here, and he wants to talk to you. But you know him."
Indeed, Nick knew him. He could perfectly imagine him thinking about all the possible scenarios that could happen if he sent a message. Clutching his arm nervously. Running his beautiful fingers through his hair to crush it. Although in his mind, he still pictured him as the 15-year-old he fell in love with in his childhood, and that was a dangerous game.
They were no longer those kids. They were different people.
"I'm so scared... What if we have nothing in common anymore? What if I've changed too much, and he no longer likes me? What if he's a cool rock star now and is embarrassed to be friends with a high school gym teacher?"
"Nick, you can't talk about yourself like that. You're a sexy professional rugby player and a teacher; what could be hotter than a teacher?"
"Also, if he's a sexy musician now, isn't that better? His sense of style has evolved too... oh, and he has long hair..." Tara knew Nick liked Charlie's hair, so she found it endearing to see him tense up. "What? Excited?" Tara flirtatiously took a sip of her beer.
Nick just blushed and laughed, taking big sips of his beer. Yes, it excited him. More than he wanted to admit.
Imogen. Tell them about Imogen.
"But he's still the same nerd you fell in love with. Don't worry."
"That worries me more than anything. Falling in love."
"Why?"
"Should I send him a message?" Nick, stop avoiding things; tell them about Imogen.
"Yes! Of course," Tara exclaimed. Nick took out his phone while Tara did the same. His heart wouldn't let him be at peace; if he didn't know it was excitement, he would think he was having a heart attack. Do it before you regret it. A beautiful mass of black curls and blue eyes stared directly at him from his profile picture. As he saw his chat, he realized Charlie was also online and typing a message. Clearly, this had been the girls' plan, but he didn't care; he was too excited. He wanted to be the one to send the first message; he knew Charlie would like that.
A leap of faith, that's all it was.
Without thinking further, he wrote, "Hi :)" and sent it, then tossed his phone onto the table.
"IT'S DONE. IT'S DONE. I can't back out now."
"WHAT EXCITEMENT; I LOVE THE DRAMA." Darcy nervously laughed with Nick, but Tara looked at him suspiciously.
"Why are you so afraid to fall in love again, Nick?"
"Because I haven't told you everything that's happened recently. Imogen and I, well... we started dating a few months ago."