Hyunjin entered his room, immediately taking off his shirt. The day's events had been rough, to say the least. A cold shower was exactly what he needed. As a 23-year-old, his mind was constantly filled with a whirlwind of emotions, including certain hormonal urges. Could anyone blame him?
It had been so long since he had even kissed someone, let alone anything more. He would relieve himself in the quiet of the night, but it was never truly enough. The cold shower helped calm his nerves, but the feeling of longing persisted.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, Hyunjin walked out of the shower and used another towel to dry his hair. Suddenly, a series of knocks on his door startled him.
When Hyunjin opened the door, he was met with Felix's exhausted face. Felix's eyes widened as he noticed Hyunjin's state, quickly averting his gaze to the floor.
"Oh, hey, sweetheart," Hyunjin spoke, a small smile forming at the flustered state of the other.
"I-I can come back later," Felix stuttered, turning to leave, but Hyunjin grabbed his wrist before he could do so.
"No, you don't have to," Hyunjin said, pulling Felix into his room and closing the door behind him.
"You should cover up," Felix replied, still avoiding eye contact as he took a seat on Hyunjin's bed.
"Why? Are you nervous?" Hyunjin smirked, walking closer to Felix. "Look at you, darling, your face is practically crimson."
"Stop it!" Felix insisted, attempting to leave. "I'm just going to go."
"Okay, okay, I'll stop!" Hyunjin turned to prevent Felix from leaving. "I'll put on some clothes, you happy?"
"Very," Felix said, sitting back down as Hyunjin took his clothes and went into the bathroom to get changed. Hyunjin emerged wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, his hair still dripping wet.
"You're going to get sick, Hyunnie," Felix said, pointing to Hyunjin's hair. "Come here, let me dry it for you."
"Whatever you say, Mom," Hyunjin teased, handing Felix the towel as he sat beside him.
Felix quickly began rubbing the towel on Hyunjin's hair, gently drying every strand. The way they were sitting wasn't ideal—they were facing each other, and Felix was drying Hyunjin's hair from the front.
To gain better access to his hair, Felix scooted a little closer to Hyunjin, almost perching on his lap. Their faces were in close proximity, and Felix could catch the coconut scent of Hyunjin's shampoo.
"Do you do this for the others too?" Hyunjin whispered, speaking softly due to their closeness.
"No..." Felix said, a bit shyly.
"Lucky me," Hyunjin replied, gently holding Felix by the waist to support him on the bed. "I'm the only one who gets special treatment."
Felix tensed at Hyunjin's touch, sending shivers down his spine. He slowed down the pace of drying Hyunjin's hair.
"You never told me why you came here," Hyunjin continued, his grip on Felix tightening slightly.
"I... I wanted to apologize," Felix replied. "For arguing with you earlier. I didn't mean to, I was just upset."
"Hey," Hyunjin spoke softly. "I should be the one apologizing to you. You were completely right. I had no right to tell you what you can or can not do. I'm sorry, love."
"Hyunjin, it's not like that. I..." Felix replied. "I know you were just worried about my safety, but screaming at Chan hyung and I was... a little bit much."
"I know, I know," Hyunjin chuckled sadly. "I really shouldn't have done that. I'll apologize to Chan hyung tomorrow, I promise."
"Thank you, Hyunnie," Felix thanked. "For understanding."
"Of course," Hyunjin said.
Felix smiled to himself, finally done drying Hyunjin's hair. He set the towel aside and settled back opposite Hyunjin. "There. All done."
"Thank you," Hyunjin replied, removing his hands from Felix's waist. Felix immediately missed the warmth of Hyunjin's touch, and the area he held now felt cold.
Hyunjin looked at Felix intently, but Felix refused to meet his gaze, afraid that Hyunjin might discern his thoughts. His cheeks felt hot and exposed, and he began fidgeting with his fingers, digging them into Hyunjin's bedsheets.
"Is something wrong?" Hyunjin asked, moving closer to Felix. Now they were mere inches apart, and a breath got caught in Felix's throat.
"Can you look away for a while?" Felix asked hesitantly.
"I promise not to read your mind if that's what you're afraid of," Hyunjin replied. "I'll do my best to respect your privacy."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
Finally, Felix mustered the courage to meet Hyunjin's eyes. He could see that Hyunjin was genuinely trying not to invade his thoughts. Felix watched as Hyunjin smiled softly, running his hand through his wet hair.
Felix's heart skipped a beat at the sight. Hyunjin was undeniably attractive. If they had met under different circumstances, in any other setting, Felix would have undoubtedly wanted to date Hyunjin—to hold him, kiss him, be intimate with him. But Felix quickly dismissed those thoughts.
What was he thinking? Hyunjin was his friend. He shouldn't be harboring these kinds of desires for his best friend.
"I'm grateful that you aren't the one with mind reading powers," Hyunjin said, interrupting Felix's thoughts. His voice sounded a little breathless. "Because you wouldn't like knowing what I'm thinking."
Curiosity sparked within Felix. "Why? What are you thinking?"
Hyunjin was silent for a few moments.
"I'm thinking about how touch starved I am," Hyunjin replied hesitantly, avoiding Felix's gaze. "And the fact that the most beautiful boy I've ever seen is sitting on my bed isn't making it any easier."
Felix's eyes widened in surprise, his mouth slightly ajar at Hyunjin's unexpected confession. Did Hyunjin think about it, too? Felix could hardly believe it.
The air between them crackled with tension as Felix processed Hyunjin's words. He couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and apprehension. Could it be possible that their desires aligned?
Felix took a moment to compose himself, his gaze locked with Hyunjin's. The vulnerability in Hyunjin's eyes mirrored his own, and it gave Felix the courage to speak his truth.
"I... I've been thinking about it too," Felix confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've been longing for... affection, for someone like you."
Hyunjin's eyes widened, his breath hitching in his throat. The silence hung heavily in the air as they both processed Felix's confession. The weight of their unspoken desires was palpable, and it was as if the universe had conspired to bring them to this moment.
Without breaking eye contact, Hyunjin slowly reached out, his hand brushing against Felix's cheek, sending shivers down his spine. The gentle touch ignited a flame within Felix, one he had suppressed for far too long.
"I never imagined that you felt the same way," Hyunjin murmured, his voice laced with awe. "Darling, I've been drawn to you in ways I can't explain. You're more than just my friend."
Felix's heart raced, his mind racing with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. The boundaries of their friendship were about to be tested, and it was a step into the unknown. But the desire coursing through his veins drowned out the fear, pushing him to take a chance.
"Can I kiss you, Hyunnie?"
"God," Hyunjin groaned. "Yes, please, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words."
Felix giggled, leaning closer as he closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a hesitant but electrifying kiss. It was a collision of pent-up emotions, a realization of the unspoken connection they had shared all along.
Their lips moved against each other with a blend of tenderness and longing. It was a dance of discovery, a sweet surrender to the desire that had been simmering beneath the surface. The room filled with the soft sound of their shared breaths, a symphony of intimacy.
As they pulled apart, their foreheads rested against each other, and Felix's heart swelled with a newfound sense of contentment. Deep down, though, Felix knew that they shouldn't be doing this. It was in their contract, for God's sake.
"We... we can't do this," Felix replied, moving away from Hyunjin. He let out a soft sigh. Despite his strong desire for Hyunjin, he understood the importance of boundaries. "It's against the rules."
"Fuck the rules!" Hyunjin's frustration grew, and he moved closer to Felix. "You know we both want this."
"But the contract," Felix argued, clearly disturbed. "It strictly says that any romantic involvement between members is prohibited."
"Felix, sweetheart," Hyunjin's voice softened, and he gently cupped Felix's face in his hands. "Do you want this? Please, tell me you want me as much as I want you."
"Hyunjin, I do, I really do," Felix answered, his gaze locked with Hyunjin's sorrowful eyes. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the other's. "But I can't ignore the consequences that may come along with it."
"We can't ignore the consequences, Felix, I know that too," Hyunjin whispered, his voice tinged with frustration. He reluctantly released his grip on Felix's face, his hands falling to his sides. "I know the risks, but being without you feels unbearable. I don't know how much longer I can be just friends with you when I'm yearning to be something way more."
Felix's heart ached at the pain etched across Hyunjin's face. They both understood the gravity of their situation, the potential repercussions that could threaten the mission, and the harmony within their group. But their desires and emotions couldn't be easily suppressed.
"I don't want to lose you, Hyunjin," Felix confessed, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and sadness. "You mean a lot to me."
Hyunjin's eyes softened, his gaze never leaving Felix's. "And you mean a lot to me too, love. I never expected to feel this way about anyone, but I can't deny my feelings for you anymore."
A heavy silence hung in the air as they grappled with their conflicting emotions. The weight of their unspoken words filled the room, making it difficult to breathe.
"We have to find a way," Felix finally spoke, determination flickering in his eyes. "We can't let our feelings destroy everything we've worked for."
Hyunjin nodded, understanding the necessity of caution. "You're right. We need to be smart about this."
They both knew that their journey wouldn't be easy. They would have to navigate the complexities of their emotions while keeping their relationship hidden from the government's prying eyes. It was a delicate dance they had to master, one that required them to balance their personal desires with the collective wellbeing of their group.
"We'll be discreet," Felix said, his voice filled with determination. "We'll find moments, stolen fragments of time, to be together. We'll cherish each other without jeopardizing the mission."
Hyunjin smiled, relief washing over him. "As long as I have you by my side, Felix, I'm willing to endure any challenge. Together, we'll make it work."
┈───────ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ
[A/N]
You guys have no idea how long I've been waiting for y'all to read this. I'd written this AGES ago, and now you guys can finally see it! Hope you guys like this chapter!! <3
Those who were Team Chan, don't be disappointed. Nothing is absolute in this story. You'll never know what may happen.