Ivory - xlvi ; Obsidian Walls I
Created: 02.07.23
Finished: 02.13.23
Edited: 05.21.23 / 05.23.23
Published: 05.26.23
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Trigger Warning: derealisation, mentions of death and mutilation, not much tw yet
Word Count: 2412
A/N: You guys watched Gen Loss right? Hah. Same. I missed the stream..I totally didn't wait for hours for it to come only to the moment it started, blackout came and there was no electricity..only for it to come back and the stream was over. My neighborhood sadly has faulty wires, and now it got worse by some idiot that messed with the wires to our home just to get some dang papayas. Anygay, it was fun, Ranboo looks so fcking cool and Charlie just made the whole show fcking better, Sneeg kept everything cool and balanced so the whole thing was so awesome- Pray to Ranboo that they get speedy recovery from getting a burn during the performance though. What a queen.
Also I'd like to have this a/n dedicated to my bestie @one_of_many_fans. They're really pog and they're one of the few people that motivates me in continuing my writing including this scruffy book. They're a good friend, and am glad they're alive and here with the world with me. Give them some love and check out their books- They're cool and bob worthy^^ Am gonna bother them later once am done publishing this, hope they don't mind;;;
Everyone's in the prison now, there's no turning back now. Finale chapters are on a roll and it begins now.
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"Hello!? HELLO?!"
God he's alone..not again,
"For fuck's sake not again-"
What's the point of all of this?
"Life really loves to fuck with me-"
Who would be with him amidst the darkness?
"I'm fucking nowhere-"
This is what he hates the most..he doesn't like the fact that he couldn't see.
"I can't fucking see anything-"
No matter how much he'd run, he'd scream, he'd cry..he'll never be with anyone.
"The fuck does it matter.."
He'll always be alone.
"I'm alone."
Alone..that's what he fears.
"Someone..anyone..please.." He gives up and kneels against the vastness of nothingness.
Well, it's not really nothingness, he can see something – he can see himself.
How is that possible?
His eyes squint close and touch the ground, the ground made out of..glass?
If so, would it break if he punches it hard enough?
He'd rather not find out what's under there if it does break, and so he refrains from touching it in a panic.
It's painful to see himself, he isn't sure if his hair out there is yellow or white. Is his hair still yellow, or becomes white as Wilbur?
Or ivory..could have been ivory..
"Who the fuck...who the fuck am I looking at?"
Well, isn't that supposed to be you?
No.
That doesn't seem right, that doesn't seem to be you.
Yet it's you isn't it?
Every scar littered on your fucked up face matched with what you see.
"I don't want..I don't want to try anymore.." Tommy rasps, his tears trickling out of his face and dropping against the glass, staining the flawless material.
It's not like he could help it either, if he'd have a choice, he'd shut up and suck it up.
That's what it has always been.
You always had to suck it up.
You always had to try.
You always had to try hard..so hard.
To be brave, to be strong, to be kind..
To be happy.
Why does it have to be so hard?
After a few tears well up on his face, he can see his reflection once more.
Only this time, it appears to be mocking him.
Of course, he understands why.
Tommyinnit always had a spiteful image,
"I don't..want to be you anymore.." He sniffles through his tears, wiping the unstoppable current he releases out of his eyes.
With all the crying, he hasn't noticed the pattering steps.
A sign he wasn't all on his own.
He hadn't noticed that he was with someone.
"Oh dearest little snowdrop..Poseidon would fear you with how much you create an endless bound of seas and waters."
Tommy looks up and could almost scream in joy seeing her.
It's her.
The woman in black.
The Lily.
She's the one he's been looking for.
For forever.
"It's- It's you again.." Tommy cries out, unable to compose himself. God he shouldn't make a scene..he better stop crying.
But she didn't tell him that, oh no.
Instead, she smiles softly and kneels down close to him. Her dress waves against the glass like the waters crashing by the shores. So is her hair flowing down like a muddy stream, or river.
He couldn't really see her face, and it's probably for the best. Would he even be able to withstand her beauty hidden by her enormous dark hat with a veil and beaming crystals? "It's okay, Tommy..cry- Cry as mighty as the storms project their pain. You can be vulnerable with me, for it's only us two."
Nodding, Tommy gets up and hugs her..accepting her comfort.
The goddess holds him with a caring touch, a hand on his back, and on his head. She closes her eyes as she sees him in so much distress.
Yet her ears are open as she listens to his cries, her arms open wide as she is ready to hold him - hold all of his troubles, "Like Atlas, I shall hold you like the world..I shall hold until you are ready to let me go-"
"No..please..Please don't let me go.." Tommy begs, his face making a stain on her hair that feels like feathers..tranquil.
A part of him doesn't understand why she means so much to him, who even is she and where she comes from. Why is she so important to him, and considers her as her hope - her saviour?
A part of him just decided to not question it any further and accept whatever feeling he'd process, "I have..asked..asked and asked where you've gone, and why you left me..Did I do something wrong? Did I make you angry? Please tell me so you'd never leave..please don't leave.."
The goddess can only frown at his words..Remembering how he would say those words to his abuser, that masked monster..so that he won't be left behind the cave..hungry, cold, and alone.
How cruel.
Still, she pets his head, then gives him a kiss on his head, "I have never left you, Tommy. I have always been watching you, praying for you. Forgive my limitations, little soldier. Forgive my terrible choices. Forgive me for what I am.."
She pulls Tommy away from the hug in order to face him, "Do me a favour and tell me, Tommy..What do you wish to do now?" She asks before lifting her skirt without an end on Tommy's nose to blow onto it.
Tommy, instinctively, exhales harshly through his nose and gladly, he could breathe better - well not really, "I- I don't know..I don't know what's going on..Where..Where even am I?"
She looks down and can see nothing on the bottom mirror. No reflection.
Of course, she is almost like a ghost around Tommy that she can talk to and no one else,
"Might as well call it obsidian, child. That's all I can say." She answers vaguely, "Try as hard as you might, but this glass does not break."
Tommy chuckles, cleaning himself up fully with his raw hand, "I'd rather have it not break..I don't want to know what's under there.."
That made the goddess giggle, brushing his hair, "Your fear of the unknown is what makes you alive..That's good, that means you are still human."
Human.
What does it mean to be human?
"I don't...I don't know if I'm human anymore.." He admits, telling his woes, "Whenever I'm awake..I can't seem to feel..can't react..I could hardly care about others too. Heck, I don't even fear death, if ever I crave for it..I have never..felt like that before until-"
He shakes his head, conflicted as to who he really is.
His face.
His wide eyes - a stare that could see your soul.
It terrifies him.
He is terrified of himself,
"What is wrong with me? Who really am I?"
She finds it pitiful to seem in confusion, desperate as he searches for a conclusion. But, try as he might, he never found all the answers.
Things have only given him endless pieces of equations he has yet to solve, "Tommy, dearest." She holds his cheek to make him stop, "Do not seek answers your ears cannot comprehend..your eyes cannot understand..There will be a time answers you search shall find their way back to shore, enveloped under the sand and lost coral shells."
Her words make him recall about the beach, and it wasn't the best memories either,
"Is it..okay if I stay here?..with you?" He stammers, afraid to admit that he's ready to give up, "I don't..want to come back anymore..It's like..I just do everything wrong and I make people unhappy and work hard just to fix me. Have they not realised that I'm going to be stuck like this forever?!"
Sadness turns to frustration as he ruffles his hair from annoyance. He seldom feels anything in the overworld, might as well feel something now before it's too late,
"I hate that they're working hard to make things right even when it's clearly my fault, and I fuckin' deserve it- It's-" He sighs, and plops down. He's tired, oh so tired,
"It's better off that I was captured by Dream, I wish he'd let everyone go after everything. It's better off that I'm under him again..I..I deserve it.."
After a while, she sits down with him, crossing her legs against the infinite length of her dress and hair, "If you wish to stay, then I can't force you." She smiles reassuringly at him, making Tommy smile back too,
"If this is what you want, then you no longer need to return. Dream would be taking a corpse that has meant to be dead..everyone would know that you're truly gone."
Hearing about everyone sinks his heart but he shakes his head, "It's for the best..for the better. If I'm dead, Dream doesn't have to do all this anymore..he'll actually rest..and not hurt anyone because of me."
That made the goddess laugh, as Tommy narrowed his eyes in question, "Dearest, beloved..Dream does not only seek to harm..his mind has planned for such enormous ideals. It is no longer a game of tag between you two, he has thought bigger."
When Tommy remains confused, she continues, "He seeks vengeance of Quackity, and the destruction of his country – everything that that little duckling holds dear. He seeks the answers unbeknownst to him, and so he grabs any opportunity his whole person can hold. Gathering men who are curious creatures, those who fear death, he has owed the gods lives..l̴͎̓i̵̠̳͘v̸̥̥͊ë̴͕́͘s̵̡̺͐, Tommy."
Even if he does find her comforting to be with, he'd lie if he say he doesn't find her terrifying..Her eyes were one pools of ink, but then it glows with bright violet; a colour with a mix of both lavender and rancid scent of death, "You are part of his scheme, so he needs your breath."
She then pets his head in hopes that would calm him down, "But you will be safe when you are here with me. If it is your choice to stay, then I trust your words."
Tommy frowns, removing her touch from him, "But the others..they're going to be hurt if I'm not gonna be there." He blinks at the formed conclusion, "If I'm alive, he'd leave the others alone..he'd leave them right?"
That made the goddess giggle, "You may be the key of his piece, but he shall harm them even if you're no longer alive-"
"What if it's different? What if I'm going to make a deal with him? He'll use me for all he wants, and I'm willing to stay with him if it means letting people go."
Pursing her lips, she holds his cheek, "Is there a reason that despite your state, you wish to be a hero? You don't have to be-"
"No..You don't understand, Lily..." He murmurs, pulling her away before getting up, "I never wanted to be a hero..I never did.."
Then what was the reason?
Was there even a reason?
"I just want..to do what is right..I have always wanted to do what is right for all, for my friends.."
...
"And never for you?" Tommy widens his eyes from her question, "When will there be a time when it shall be for you?"
Tommy chuckles, painful to admit it, "I don't think there's anything left of me..With how much I am killed and revived, there's nothing much to consider me as me.."
The people in his mind..taking form in his thoughts..gods they look so--
"I don't even remember anyone anymore..I don't even remember who I used to be."
It hurts to say the truth, "But, I need to do this...I have to..I'll never rest in peace if I'm here knowing the fact that they're going to get hurt..that they're going to be killed..I don't..want them to feel what I have felt. I never wish this to happen on anyone..Not even him."
Kristin, grins, getting up from the glass floor.
Tommy could never get used to her mighty stature, "Is this what you truly want, Tommy? To return? To completely lose yourself, just for the people that you do not even remember?"
Tommy laughs and a tear falls upon his pallid cheek, "I may no longer remember them, but I remember this.."
... Everything turns dark, and there his grey eyes open..full of meaningless..and nothing
"That I never gave up on them. Never."
OoO
He was about to put one more dart with a picture on the massive cork board that surrounded the large room.
The place isn't totally quiet, he's murmuring and talking to himself after all. It seems that everything is according to plan, as he expected.
So far, none of his allies have betrayed, well..except those other two, but he wasn't surprised about it.
Eventually everyone leaves.
By the looks of it, everyone is in their places in the chestboard.
The prison was changed a few while Sam adjusted the main hall as detailed as he described. That's where most of his prisoners lie, while the other one, well..he has his own little palate.
On the far corner, somewhere out of hundreds of cells resides his..and it's not just a common. It's a fucking torture chamber..one of his favourites.
Obviously the tundra dwellers have to stay separated, and so they're ought to be at the far corner in the main hall.
As for the rest, he'll let the rest of the narrative continue-
A knock made the whole room silent, before he tilted his head in interest, "Sam, come in."
The former warden enters the cold room, keeping his bold stance. One shouldn't show fear after all.
This man totally didn't have his life lost, took out his eye and half of his face..as well as the rest of his pride and every ideal that kept him going. This man totally didn't break him.
Dream, who's holding a flask of whiskey at hand, grins at Sam under the mask, "Sam! Is there a reason why you came to disturb me?"
Sam's eyes flicker, and hardens his grip of his axe, "Tommy woke up, Dream. Whatever you're planning to do, it's now or never."
His grin reaches his cheeks, and forwards to pat Sam at the shoulder, to which the other retracts, "Good job, Sam. I'll meet you there. Take Tommy out and leave him in the main hall."
When Sam almost object, Dream adds one more, "He'll never attempt to run. It's no cause for concern."
Before the creeper dismisses himself, he stops by the door to face his boss one last time, "How are you sure he won't attempt to escape?"
Dream chuckles, taking a shot of alcohol that spills past the tips of his lips,
"I told him so."