Ivory - xlix ; Two Peas In A Pod
Created: 02.23.23
Finished: 02.26.23
Edited: 06.28.23
Published: 06.20.23
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Trigger Warning: heavy gore, post seizure, flashbacks
Word Count: 3245
A/N: istg its sad to hyperfixate every little deep info of dsmp that most dont even know about- do u guys know about sam's lore even with phil? or how aimsey, ponk, and eryn actually got along? cuz it wasn't just random, it did happen;w; it was like..a recent one so maybe thats why not much knows about it haha- let alone consider it canon u know- its all good-w-
i should refrain myself venting up here haha, its embarrassing;w; so to assure, ill be fineee
enjoy the chapter-
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"It surprises me that you and I have something in common."
Sam jolts awake, confused as to what just happened, and who spoke to him.
"We're brimmed with bodies, tagging alongside like entrails."
..Why does it sound like?-
"Tommy." Sam speaks up, his foot stepping forward but then a squishing noise occurs.
He immediately lifts his boot up and sees a body on the floor, blood green mixed with gunpowder.
That's- What the-
He backs off and his other foot steps on something.
Still, the same thing, only this time he has stepped onto this person's face, as his sole deepens its socket, the noise echoes around the void.
Almost palpitating, he tries to calm down and sharpens his vision against the dark.
If he looks closer, bodies surround him..colours of green, grey, and black envelop the whole world.
This doesn't feel like it's Tommy's but..it's..
"You should have told me sooner."
He looks back and sees someone, sitting on a random corpse.
It's a small, scrawny kid with battered clothes and face.
His faint blonde hair seems to glow, but his eyes.
Oh gods know how much it bore aquamarines when he still breathes.
He looks like he might as well be one of them..one of the dead,
"We could have joked how much bodies we used just to stay alive-"
That made Sam shriek, leading himself to fall on the obsidian floor, cringing at the touch of rotten skin against his hands,
"You're..what the- You talked-" He stammers, unable to find voice from his constricted throat.
His panic doesn't make the other's face form into anything. It's blank..it's blank,
"How are you- What happened?—What is this place?" He looks around, infinity is the only thing he can assume in this blank space.
"I don't know. I've been here loads of times, but still..I have no idea." Tommy vaguely answers, peeling a random spot of skin.
He seems indifferent about it, Sam could only gag at what he's doing. If this is some sick nightmare to punish him for what he has done, then all he could wish is to wake up.
No- Not just wake up and be back in reality, he wishes to wake up..start over, end all this,
"What are you, Sam?"
He looks up to face him,
"Wh-What?" He shouldn't have stuttered, but there goes his words past his lips,
"You're definitely not human nor mortal..but you are no god either. I know for one thing you are a coward of Thanatos..death."
Sam flinches at the word, and yes, he's right on that,
"Gods don't fear death. Demigods might suit you...but..seeing your memories, you're not one either."
How- "You've..seen..how did you.." Sam is taking a while to process all this.
He can only stare at him for answers, as the other speaks for his questions,
"Your bodies. The one we're stepping at...They hold memories, don't they?"
How does he not know that? Is he supposed to know that? If he were given a chance to know it though, he'd rather not,
"And boy many of them hold amazing stories..They kept you alive for thousands of years..without using any form of necromancy, or incantation...Just pure science, and innovation.."
..Since when does Tommy act like this?
One thing's for sure, he doesn't usually see Tommy sounding like some smartass. He's usually a kid, despite his age, a troublemaker and a mouth full of foul words..and nothing at all,
"I don't..know what you're talking about.."
Tommy blinks at his genuine reply, then goes back to his static expression, "Oh, you must have forgotten about it. That's alright. You've been to so many bodies, I won't be surprised you have lost every single memory that has meant to be important to you-"
"Who the hell are you to tell me all this?!" Fumes release from his mouth, he doesn't understand why his temper broke like that, but there it goes,
"I don't know what the fuck is going on right now..and where the fuck am I- But you-" He point at Tommy, who shows no fear at him.
Right, he has always never feared him..until lives are on the line.
Well he could threaten him again, tempting, tempting, "You shut the hell up. You have no idea about me, you have no single fucking idea of who I am- So don't pretend you do."
When Tommy no longer speaks but stares at him, Sam gives up and plops down on the available floor no bodies are taking over for now.
Blinking once, Tommy looks away and watches something from above.
When Sam peers at it, he can see nothing but dark..Gods, not only Tommy is acting like some know-it-all, as well as crazy.
He's crazy at this point.
Everyone's crazy at this point.
Why is everyone acting like this?
Slowly, he can see something amidst the dark..a scene, a..familiar feeling.
It was raining, wasn't it? The time when he introduced this life saving contraption, to someone..he used to..Why does that look like,
"Is that..Philza?" Sam unconsciously asks, trying to make the image clearer, to hear anything from it but it's no use.
Still, he can understand the gist of it...well, it's what his mind wanted him to think of.
Tommy focuses on the memory...The memory about how happy the creator was to reveal his work to his good friend, only to be denied by him, fearing that he was driven by his greed, where the other is chained by his morals.
His spiritual, foolish eyes away from the potential discoveries of this world.
What's so wrong with someone trying to cheat death?
Isn't it normal for anyone to defeat what they fear?
Is it so wrong to fear?
Is it so wrong to fight back?
Sam's face goes sour when the avian is willing to break what they had: Years worth of friendship, companionship, down the drain because of what he has created.
Was he willing to just destroy that?
All for some machine when he's ought to be proud of?
Phil should have praised him, congratulated him..Why- He should as well thank him!
This would have saved thousands of lives.
Soon, death would no longer be a fearful entity, but a mere foe to beat. No one would die, no one would go away, no one would lose a friend.
Eventually Sam would rot and Phil would remain young and alive to this world.
Shouldn't he appreciate that he worked so hard to stay alive for him?
Shouldn't he have been thanked for trying so hard to be there for him?
And what was given to him in return?
Nothing but a snipped off attachment.
Sam was alone.
And he stayed alone.
But he was alive.
That's what matters..right?
...Being like this hurts though.
Is living forever supposed to hurt like this?
"You got...something between with Dream?"
Sam looks back at Tommy again, perplexed by his question,
"Like..a favour? Business?"
Sam shakes his head, scratching what's left of his hair – which is not much, "Fear controls us, but fear is what keeps us alive..It's what keeps me alive so I have no choice.."
Tommy frowns by those words, "You do have a choi-"
"No I don't, Tommy. You know what? Whatever I am right now, still, fear drives me. It pushes people away, it makes me hurt them..everything just to keep myself alive. Because I have to- I have to.."
Remembering how he hurt so many people, he gives up once he can see how he chopped his lover's arm..the appendage plopped on the ground as it bled..and bled..and bled,
"It's the only thing that is human in me. Fear's what kept me human..I have to do this. You understand..don't you?"
Tommy gives no words, but instead look away,
"I'm sorry Tommy..I can't...I'm sorry..but I can't help you..Or anyone..Not while he lives." Sam whispers "I get it..I'm a coward, I'm selfish, I'm..I'm a terrible person. And I get why you'd hate me."
Still, he didn't talk,
"Please, Tommy..Please understa-"
"I understand." He finally replies, rips out a piece of flesh, "I wasn't even trying to persuade you or anything. It's just..."
He observes the meat on his hand; filled with nothing but green and grey, "I was asking..asking things while we're both stuck here."
Sam squints his eyes and sighs..feeling the blood reaching his armour; dampening his clothes within, "I wonder how many bodies I have left..I don't..think I have much anymore to keep going-"
"One, if I'm correct. Your last body, lies somewhere in the town you and Philza once ruled..under the castle you two once inhabited." Tommy answers, and Sam was no longer surprised.
He figures he must have known that because of the memories filling up what used to be the atmosphere, or the transparent skies.
His memories. The memories that he lost.
He should have known that using the machine has consequences..not to mention complications,
"If..I were to die..I would go to that last body of mine?" He asks quietly, but still Tommy heard it,
"If your memories aren't tampered, then yes, usually when you die, your consciousness goes to a different body, that doesn't mean that your identity isn't altered. I suppose your machine wasn't exactly perfectly made. At the same time, it didn't matter to you much as long as the main purpose of it worked: you're able to create multiple bodies of yourself in order to stay eternal."
Sam shakes his head, shoving the memories away.
Those aren't his, it doesn't feel like it's his, but then again, it belonged to one of these brains..splattered everywhere on the floor.
His brains..his former bodies.
"Do you hate me, Tommy..to desire nothing more but to stay alive?.."
That made the boy tilt his head, surprised as to what he asked, "No..if ever I commend you. You have worked so hard and you have earned your prize. I can't hate someone who wants nothing more but to live, but I can't sit idle knowing someone who has cheated death."
Sam frowns, watching him cross his skinny arms, "You have broken a balance for so long, Dream as well..I could have hated you, but then again, I, too, have been cheating death. Well, blame my determination to keep going...I vowed to never break in front of Dream."
Cringing at those words, Sam looks away, remembering what he looked like when he was seizing..his scrawny body on the ground, his appendages twitching unnaturally, with his eyes and mouth wide open filled with tears and drool,
"Yet you did break, didn't you? You're practically gone..You're just..someone what is left of Tommy, aren't you?" Seeing his eyes, Sam knew that wasn't the way that brat would look at him.
This is no longer Tommy.
As much as he hates admitting it, Tommy's no longer here..nothing but a shell of what he used to be.
If that were to be the case, is he also a shell of what Sam used to be?
He was once an innovator, an engineer, a great man who created so many inventions for his people to use..the Sam now was nothing more but a fraud who believes he's a good person, yet have done far too many unforgivable sins, never to be redeemed..
"I don't get why Dream would want to get something like this?" Tommy laughs after his remark, getting up, "Having a connection between the living and the dead sounds cool, but imagine if he realises that this is what it feels like through it all, would he consider if this is worth it at all?"
Sam frowns, standing as well, "Is that..why you were taken? Not to kill you but to...I don't know, use you in order for him to understand what it's like to be you?"
Tommy only shrugs, finding it not a big deal, "Our rivalry is in the past at this point. He's setting his eyes on a bigger prize, something that doesn't only involve me, but everyone...even the whole world."
He opens his eyes, Sam wishes they bear something more bluish than a dead static of a grey, "What he did to me was a rift that wasn't meant to crack, but now he's deepening the damage, and there, everything is falling off of balance."
He gets close to Sam, unbothered by the creeper's great stature, "And everything we hold dear would be affected...and get hurt. And who knows, once we die, we cease to exist."
When Sam remains speechless, Tommy continues to speak, "Tell me, Sam..what do you want?"
Taking a step back, Sam looks away, eyeing the rest of his bodies before shaking his head,
"I don't..I don't know what the hell I want, Tommy.." He admits, his voice shaky, "My heart tells me to help, yet my brain beckons me to stay put. As long as I'll survive, nothing matters-''
Taking a step forward, Tommy pats him, "It's alright whatever you're planning to decide. Whatever choices you pick, I'd understand.."
When he told that, he could almost begin to cry and so he sighs, "Tommy..whenever I try to be a good person. For some reason, I just fuck up. Everything I do I hurt and break people's trust, and for what? For doing the right thing? What is the right thing?! Was cutting off Ponk's arm worth it to do the right thing? Was kidnapping worth doing the right thing? Cuz god dammit Tommy it just made me look like a monster."
Sam wipes his eyes in order for him not to cry, yet doesn't stop for his steam to erupt past his lips, "Dream's right...I'm a bad guy..I have always been one."
After a few moments of silence, Tommy begins to laugh.
Barely seeing him smile or hear him laugh at all was something so uncomfortable for Sam, he could only flinch as Tommy continues to wheeze, wondering what's so funny about what he said,
"Who gives a fuck at this point if you're good or bad Sam? No one's good nor bad but in between..that's what makes us human, that's what makes you human."
Not believing him, he shakes his head, "It doesn't have to be like that. We all have to strive to be good-"
And that raises Tommy's hands, "No- I'm not saying you shouldn't try hard, I mean, go off- Do good- But in the end..we're neither good nor bad..and no one's an evil person...Not even Dream."
Sam lifts his head slightly to stare at him.
No one is an evil person?
Not even Dream?
The one that tortured and killed him for months?
The one that made him become like this?
The one that is breaking the world apart?
What he is doing still doesn't make him an evil person?
"A good person lies in order to not hurt the person's feelings, a bad person can still love..and do whatever it takes to protect what they find important." Tommy murmurs, giving Sam a smile,
"Sam, all throughout the good and the bad..what I can only say to you is..disregard all morality since it's subjective, and trust your heart..Trust what it tells you, what drives you, what keeps you going. And eventually..."
With a blink, Tommy is no longer to be seen, as Sam looks fervently for him, running around just to find him. His voice echoes but his body has disappeared, what the fuck is-
"You'll find peace. You and I have a long way to go to find that home."
He stops, pursing his lips at the sight of Tommy's dead body.
His lifeless eyes staring back at him, his limbs twisted all over, blood all over him..a painting.
Sam sniffles, and cranes Tommy's head, pressing it close to him as he kneels.
This..is what he saw long ago in the prison..where he couldn't be able to save him..where he left that child unprotected by that.
He pulls his mask off and throws it away, keeping Tommy close to his arms.
Steam releases from his lips, as well as tears on his eyes.
He cries and cries, the pain, the hurt..as he holds Tommy as if there's no tomorrow. "If no one in this fucked up world forgives you, know that I do."
"I forgive you."
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.
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.
-
.
Clutching the bars, Sam pants as he sees him once more..asleep.
His seizure must have ended, did he black out?
He hardly remembers what happened, but he has remembered those words..Those words of acceptance and forgiveness.
It was all he wanted, to accept him for who he is, and to have hope for him to change.
After everything, no one has given him a chance anymore..no one except him.
Taking him up, and settling him to a decent bed, he fixes Tommy's hair to pull it away from his pale face.
He can see tear streaks on his cheeks, and dried drool down his mouth. He can't believe that out of all people..he'd be the one to believe that he'd change.
Out of all people, he doesn't see a bad person in him, nor good either.
But that doesn't give him dread..but comfort.
"I'm going to stop all this Tommy. I'll fight..for you." He gets up, taking up his keys and opens the cage and locks it up once more.
Before he'll have his life taken once more by Dream, he might as well have a plan.
Basically he has no allies at this point, considering that everyone knows that he's a traitor now.
Assuring them that he's on his side is futile as well, knowing that they'd probably kill the first time they see him.
He sighs, the only thing that he could do is to collect armour and weapons, and get Techno out first. He'll kill him yes, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets there-
Sprinting forward, he feels a sense of..he doesn't know what to call it. It's wild, it's airy, unrestrained..free.
He feels free?
Of what exactly?
Of burdens?
Sins?
Guilt?
Shame?
Was a single forgiveness enough to clear his despairing head and touch a small glimmer of hope?
He isn't sure.
But what he is sure of, is that he is forever in debt to Tommy..and he'll get everyone out of here safe.
He'll most likely be alone on this one, and at this point, he expects that.
Like who would come around to save everyone by the hands of Drea-
Bumping on someone, he manages to hold his ground. As for the other..well,
"Fuck- Aimee you okay?"
A familiar voice trembled him, that voice.
Sam looks down and sees Ponk tending to someone, someone he doesn't really know.
At the same time, he's sure that he met them before..its the new person,
"I'm fine- alright- Grab my cane Ponk, I can't get up-"
"We should have stayed behind the entrance like Niki said- You cripples going to get yourselves hurt-"
"You could have stayed if you're that much of a pussy, Eryn-"
"Fuck off-"
"Both of you- Shut up- Fuck- My cane-"
Remembering that their friend is failing to get up on their own, they look around to find the cane.
That's when lemon notices what's in front of them, "Uhh..guys?"
Eryn was about to flip lemon off until dae knows what lemons so frightened about.
Ponk gulps, slowly reaching for lemons sword, as Aimsey stays still..fear freezing stars body.
Meanwhile the demon hybrid has the guts to speak up against a tall anthropomorphic creeper in front of them,
"Well..shit."