☆Jake☆
Fun fact, hiding that you have a crush on someone isn't easy.
Especially when your best friend tells you that they're going to meet up with them privately after school.
"You what?" I snap, turning to look at Luke.
"She asked me to meet her by the benches outside at 3:30"
I have to physically restrain myself from snapping my pencil in half.
"Why? What did she say?" I ask sourly, leaning back in my chair.
Poor Luke, he doesn't know what's going on. He probably just thinks she's cute and wants to go make out with her or something. It's weird to imagine Luke doing anything romantic these days though. Pretty sure he hasn't liked anyone since eighth grade. I've never even seen him make a move on anybody before.
"She just said that she wanted to talk to me about Lia. I'm not too surprised because, well, we have both heard Lia's never-ending complaining about Hailey. I'm pretty sure Lia's just been bugging her again, and she wants to meet up to tell me to tell Lia to leave her alone."
"Are you sure it's not because she wants to lock lips with you" I mutter sarcastically under my breath.
"What?" Luke says. "I didn't hear you"
Thankfully, the bell for last period rings and students begin packing up and dashing out of the classroom.
"Nothing. You should just go meet her now."
Dammit. Why am I acting like this? Luke is definitely going to suspect something if I keep this act up.
Luke grabs his bag from the floor, and throws it over his shoulder, giving me an uncertain look.
"Are you okay? You sound kinda angry" Luke states, pausing to look at me.
"Yeah, I'm fine just...tired" I reply, turning away from him. I'm scared to meet his eyes. He's always had a knack for telling if someone is being honest, especially when it comes to me.
"Okay well um...I'll see you tomorrow then," Luke says, turning from me and walking in the opposite direction.
I groan, and bang my head on the table, letting it rest there. Why am I acting so moody? I really need to shut up and mind my own business.
The classroom is now empty, and I move my head to look at the clock. I notice Mrs. Lysel watching me from her desk. I sit up straighter and make awkward eye contact with her for a few seconds until she clears her throat and opens her mouth to speak.
"Jake, I'm glad you're still here. I wanted to talk with you about something."
I let out an irritated sigh. Why now of all times? I just want to go home and mope while watching reruns of "To Catch a Predator". My older brother, Jeremy, was watching it when I got home a couple of days ago, and I've been binge-watching it ever since.
It usually makes me want to throw up after a few episodes, but it's crazy addictive. Chris Hasen is cool.
"Uh-huh, and what's that?" I mumble.
Mrs. Lysel raises an eyebrow, and crosses her hands, placing them gently on her desk.
"Erm...are you alright Jake?" She asks softly.
"Yeah, just peachy"
"Answer honestly Jake. If you want to talk to the school counselor I can let her know."
I snort. "The school counselor? Yeah, I'm just dying to speak to a sappy, forty-year-old woman about my daddy issues and shit- I mean, horrible dating life."
Mrs. Lysel unclasps her hands and glares at me.
"Well, in that case, I just wanted to talk to you about your grades."
I lift my head off the table and let out an exasperated breath. I lean back farther in my chair, trying to avoid eye contact.
"Yeah, what about them?"
"They're slipping Jake. You've gone from a B student to a D student within the last few months. Is everything okay at home? I know your mother is strugg-"
"Everything's fine" I snap, interrupting her.
"Alright, then please explain to me why your grades are suffering."
"I've been busy."
Busy is an understatement.
I've been overthinking every little thing, I'm crazy insecure lately, I'm terrified, to be honest with anyone, I feel like I'm disappointing my mom no matter what I do, I stress myself out over the smallest of things, I always procrastinate even though I know I should do something, I'm forced to be in a relationship with a girl I really don't like, I have to hang around Aaron, I'm worried about how my whole crush on Hailey is going to play out, I'm terrified Lia will leak all of my secrets if I make one wrong move, I'm pretty sure Luke likes Hailey but I don't want to tell him I like her because It'll make things weird between us, and I know that my dad hates me.
Now, will I be sharing any of this with Mrs. Lysel? Obviously not. The word "busy" is just an easy way for me to say that my current life state is shit, and give an excuse for why my grades have taken a dive.
Mrs. Lysel grabs her wattle bottle, and takes a small sip, placing the bottle back down on the table. She crosses her arms and leans back in her fancy teacher chair, clearing her throat.
"I'm just going to rip the band-aid off, because you're clearly upset right now, and don't want to talk to me." She says, breaking the silence.
I nod my head, meeting her eyes for the first time throughout this incredibly long conversation.
"You have no chance of graduating eleventh grade this year if your grades do not improve within the next three months."
I stare at her blankly.
"Therefore, I suggest you find a student tutor. I happen to have one in mind if you're interested, but it's your choice. However, I strongly encourage you to take my advice. There is no doubt in my mind that you will stay back a grade if you continue to always be "busy." She states firmly.
The day has gone from bad to worse. I can't fail eleventh grade.
I don't have a choice. I'm awful at finding time to work on my stuff by myself, so maybe a tutor could be good for me. Still, I'm absolutely dreading the idea of spending three hours each week studying with some nerd in my grade who will probably invite me to one of their weird sciencey events.
The idea of spending more than twenty minutes on a math worksheet makes me want to throw myself out the nearest window.
"Jake? Have you decided?" Mrs. Lysel says, interrupting my thoughts.
I sigh.
"Yeah. I'll do the tutor thingy I guess."
She clasps her hands and smiles before digging out a piece of paper from one of her desks drawers.
"Let's see here..." she says, scanning the page before setting it on the desk, and shutting the drawer.
"This is the list of the students who are excelling in my class right now. Not many of them have signed up for student tutoring, but if you're interested in working with any of them just let me know."
She stands up from her desk and crosses the room, setting the piece of paper down on my desk.
I stare at it for a couple of seconds.
"Well, that's all I needed from you, Jake. You're free to leave now."
I grab my backpack from the floor, and pick up the piece of paper. I head for the door and mutter a small "Thank you" in return.
Normally, I take the bus home, but by the time I get to the back of the school, it's clear that it's already left. I slide my hand into my back pocket and pull out my phone, scrolling through numbers to try to find Jeremy's. He shouldn't be busy right now unless he's with his stupid girlfriend.
I shoot him a text, telling him that the teacher kept me after class, the bus left without me, and I'm going to need a ride home.
He replies a few seconds later.
sorry bud, i can't I have baseball practice in 5 minutes. ask someone else for a ride
I let out an exasperated sigh. I can't ask my mom because she's at work, and the rest of my siblings said that they would be busy today, or are too young to have a license.
I realize I have one option left.
I have to go find Luke.
I groan, shoving my phone back into my pocket, trudging towards the picnic tables on the other side of the school. I have a feeling I'm going to interrupt something I really don't want to see.
When I do eventually get to the picnic tables, I'm not surprised to see Luke and Hailey talking feverishly about something, or rather, someone.
I instantly feel my heart speed up and my face flush. I haven't seen Hailey since Saturday, and I've really missed her. She looks really pretty. Well, she always looks really pretty, but right now especially.
Her cheeks are pinched pink because of the cold, and she's wearing a cropped, puffy jacket and pair of baggy jeans. I watch her frown at Luke and cross her arms, rolling her eyes. I've seen that look far too many times, and it feels familiar, almost comforting.
I snap out of my thoughts, and make eye contact with Luke as I head over to the bench.
Luke spots me and raises his eyebrow. Hailey turns to look at me, and she looks almost startled as I approach the two.
"Hey um...sorry to interrupt whatever it is that you're talking about, but I need a ride home. I've already asked everyone else." I say awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Hailey. I can see that out of the corner of my eye, she's staring at me, and it's seriously making me nervous.
Luke looks guilty as he shakes his head and sighs.
"I have a student council meeting in fifteen minutes. Normally I'd skip, but this one is big. It's about voting and deciding this year's school fundraiser." Luke pauses for a moment, looking deflated, and I almost feel bad for asking. "I'm really sorry Jake, I'll make it up to some other time."
"No, no, it's okay! Don't worry about it, I just umm... well it's like a thirty-minute walk to my house and it's freezing, but it's okay." I say quickly, turning away from Luke.
"I'll see you tomorrow" I say, putting on my best fake smile.
I'm a few feet away from the two before a hear Hailey's voice cut through the silence.
"Wait! Jake!"
I stop to turn and look at her.
She looks nervous, and just hearing her say my name so freely is giving me serious butterflies.
"I can give you a ride home. My mom's coming to pick me up in twenty minutes, you can tag along if you want."
I feel my chest lighten, and I smile at her, looking her straight in the eyes.
"Yeah, that would be awesome. Thanks, Hails." I say calmly, even though I feel far from it. I'm glad that I've mastered the art of acting like I don't care when I absolutely do.
Her cheeks flush, and she breaks eye contact, staring at her boots.
"Mhm," she says quietly.
I chuckle, and step forward, ruffling her hair.
I can see that this surprises her, and I leave her speechless, turning to head to the front of the school.
"Meet me in the front when you finish okay?" I ask.
She nods, and I turn from her, chuckling to myself.