In My Shoes | The Music Freaks AU | A Jailey Fanfiction

Chapter 16 - Forced to Stay

☆Jake☆

I've been really distracted lately.

I have a hell ton of things to overthink and stress about. For example, Lia. She's been more clingy than usual. Normally, I would be able to get through a school day with just a few simple text messages, but now she bombards me with them and completely freaks out when I don't reply within like, two minutes.

She always has to put some big display on whenever she comes to greet me at school, and I cannot even begin to tell you how many times she's asked me if I was cheating, or would ever cheat on her.

The short answer is no. I'm not a douche.

I may not particularly enjoy that relationship I've gotten myself into, but at least I can say with one hundred percent certitude that I would never cheat. It's fucking disgusting. 

I see her prancing around the hallways every day giggling with her fancy friend group about make-up and boys, and they occasionally stop to trash-talk someone nearby. That's also disgusting.

Lia used to be a good person, she really was. She had good grades and read books and never skipped class. She was sweet, she had a fun personality, and she was someone that nobody ever seemed to notice, but absolutely deserved recognition.

It seems that it's the opposite now.

I fell for the old Lia. For the one that baked brownies with me, and told me stories about her crazy family. For the one that encouraged others and prided herself on being honest. For the one that didn't care about popularity or her dad's money.

Lately, I've come to realize that I liked an entirely different person. Lia and her past self aren't the same person, and I've realized that I don't love her at all.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I'll see a glimmer of the past Lia in her facial expression. I'll see her consider saying something sweet for a second but then take it back to fit in with her friends.

And honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I can pretend.

The longer this drags on, the more heartbroken she'll be. I'll make her believe that we were something serious, and then shatter her heart when I tell her otherwise. I don't want Lia to be hurt, but I can't hurt myself trying to make her happy.

I have to do something, but I'm scared Lia will expose me. She knows that I love singing. She knows that I've always dreamed of writing songs and touring the world.

She also knows about my dad. She was one of the only people I've told about what really happened that day. She's one of the only people who know what he did to me. If anyone found out, I'd be labeled something I couldn't live with.

Even now just thinking of my predicament make me want to hurl.

Either way, I've got to be honest. It may just be the only way out of this crazy trap I've gotten myself into. My life has fallen apart because I'm so terrified of being honest. I need to tell the truth, but how? 

It was an early Sunday morning when I shot Lia a text asking her to meet up with me at a coffee shop. If I was going to do this, it was going to have to be in public. Otherwise, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to control herself.

She replied about two seconds later with a thumbs-up emoji and a heart. I felt like throwing up. What I was about to do would either completely wreck my life, or fix a large part of it. I would either leave that shop with my heart broken or a huge weight lifted off my chest.