In My Shoes | The Music Freaks AU | A Jailey Fanfiction

Chapter 23 - Reflected Versions

♡Hailey♡

I'm so stupid sometimes. I promised myself I'd never trust anyone again. It could easily end in disaster.

However, the heart is so damn good at overriding the mind, and that's what happened. This isn't going to end well for me. It never has, and it never will. I thought I had enough self control to keep my mouth shut.

I don't know what it is with Jake and his charm. It's addictive. I don't know how he does it, but it's incredible. His touch made me loose all common sense. I have a feeling that he knows the effect he has on people though. He's always wanted answers from me, and I gave them up.

I really need to work on restricting myself. Boys only ever give me crazy feverish thoughts that torment my concious twenty-four hours a day. I'm not sure how much more I can take. 

My feelings for Adam were intense, and they have pretty much always been that way for guys. I pretend not to even notice a guy, but secretly I'm obsessing and endlessly replaying our moments together. 

It's even more intense with Jake, and that scares me. The thought of someone having so much control over my actions is terrifying. He's popular, and his girlfriend hates me. He could destroy my life if he wanted. Maybe that was his intention the entire time.

Maybe he only ever wanted the truth so he could blackmail me and shatter my already damaged heart. Maybe he does this with every girl, on that's how he stays on top of the social pyramid. He scares everyone into submission.

When he introduced the prospect of me tutoring him, I should have known that he didn't actually want to improve his grades. He wanted answers and I was honest. I told him a lot more than I should have. I told him more than even Zander knows, and I told Zander a lot. He wanted answers and he was the one who took the video that night.

Daisy told me that Lia asked Sabrina for dirt on me, so Jake knowing about the whole situation from my point of view isn't good. He could easily blackmail me. Maybe Lia asked him for dirt and he took matters into his own hands, pretending to be my friend or something.

We haven't gotten anything done yet today. He's still in my house, but he's downstairs making a phone call. The house is dead silent except for his voice making occasional echoes from the living room. 

He doesn't seem upset, but he isn't pleased either.

After my long-waited confession, Jake's phone began ringing off the hook. I could tell as he glanced at the name that he didn't want to take the call, but he did anyway, excusing himself to go somewhere more private. 

He's been downstairs for almost twenty minutes. The conversation has gotten more heated as time has passed. Jake sounds beyond annoyed, but is trying to keep his voice down.

I bring my legs up to my chest and hug my knees, blowing a strand of hair away from my eyes. The conversation doesn't even seem like it's going to end anytime soon, and I'm worried about my sudden confession.

I set the notebook inside my drawer, and push it shut, sighing to myself.

"You should come eavesdrop with me"

I look up to see Zander standing in my doorframe with a glass of grape juice. He takes a sip from the straw, and stares at me intently.

"Why? He wants privacy, I'm trying to be a good friend."

Zander scoffs and rolls his eyes, taking a moment to stir his drink with his straw.

"Uh-huh. Be a good 'friend'. Sure."

I scrunch my eyes and tilt my head to the side. I reposition myself so I'm sitting cross-legged, and stare at him.

"What do you mean by that?"