In My Shoes | The Music Freaks AU | A Jailey Fanfiction

Chapter 31 - The Other Side

◇Sabrina◇

He told me he loved me.

He fucking lied.

I should have known. It was so obvious. He helped me to ruin her life, so why did I ever think he wouldn't try to ruin me like he had her?

And now she's gone. Forever. She blocked everyone in our friend group besides Daisy because Daisy was loyal. Daisy stood by her even when everyone turned against her. Myself included. I started it. I started everything.

I don't know what is wrong with me. When she got close to me, I pushed her away. I have this weird thing where I tend to shut off if I get too close to people. I think it's because I'm scared too get close to someone. I'm scared that they'll find some kind of deal breaker, and get up and leave. It's irrational but where I currently stand.

She was there for me throughout my parent's divorce, one of the only people who never commented on how tired I looked. She practically did all my homework through the roughest time of my life and never complained when I would call her at night, usually crying because my parents had gotten into another heated argument. They did that a lot, and they wouldn't even try to disguise how toxic their relationship was.

My dad and mom were both violent people when provoked. I got into the habit of locking my door so they wouldn't barge in and start destroying everything. I learned after this one time that I came home and my parents had started an argument in my room, and tossed half the items in my room to the floor.

My dad apologized. My mom didn't.

That aside, Hailey would always answer my calls and distract me. Keep my thoughts preoccupied with other lighter topics of conversation.

And I did this to myself. 

I was so naive. I seriously believed that morphing myself into an entirely new person would somehow benefit my life. That it would somehow everything more bearable.

The whole lying and pretending to be someone else started the summer before sophomore year. I've attended a summer camp called "Camp Evergreen" since I was five years old, and that year was no different. I was glad to be out of the house, because my dad had left a few months earlier, and my mom had begun drinking like it was the end of the world.

The camp lasts exactly thirty days or about one month. It starts July first and goes until July thirty-first. I had a few camp friends, but I was nowhere near popular. On the bus ride there, I came up with a fake life for myself. I decided that since I knew none of the people from previous years were returning, I could make up some sort of alter-ego for myself.

I wasn't trying to be deceptive at first, it was honestly just a game to me. It sounded fun, so throughout the entire bus ride, I crafted a new life for myself. And somehow, I found myself taking the details from Hailey's life, and pretending they were my own. 

When we arrived at the campgrounds, I began acting like Hailey. Confident, smart, and charming in an oblivious, sweet way. It worked immediately.

When the counselors would ask me my name, favorite color, and if we had any pets, I answered how I knew Hailey would. I told everyone that my first name was Sabrina, but my middle name was Hailey and I'd prefer if they called me that. I fibbed that my favorite color was blue and that while I didn't have any pets, I wanted a cat badly.

My personality seemed to draw people in, just like Hailey always has, and I was shocked when a group of popular, pretty girls began to hang out with me and invite me to join them. It was so surreal. I'd never been popular in my life. I was quieter than most, but that summer I gained enough confidence to begin my act.