Ivory - xlv ; Beneath Those Smiles
Created: 01.25.23
Finished: 01.25.23
Edited: 03.29.23 / 04.22.23
Published: 05.09.23
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Trigger Warning: fading, false memories, death, revival
Word Count: 4091
A/N: Guess who's back, back again- weirdo's bac, tell a fren-
i am having an issue with a schoolwork at the moment, i wanna scream cuz gods i wish i have a printer that can print 40 pages worth of my work but good news is, final defense and exams are dead and gone so thats nice- i can finally go back to writing! it takes a while to get back to my pace but man, cant wait to get this book over it- i wanna actually write something elseXD am planning for hermitcraft empires stuff, but more leaning to life series and qsmp- yeps, am not straying far from the dsmp tho- theres a whole lot of concepts i wanna write about so will be working with it- anygay- will be making this a/n short- back to your weekly uploads- enjoy:D
(oh and also, always be mindful with the tenses- past means it already happened, or a flashback story-wise, present means its happening rn- anygay continue-)
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"Welcome to the Syndicate room, Tommy. Do you find this place familiar through Niki's memories?"
It's..a place he's never been here before. The walls, the tapestries, and..this table.
There's immense energy over the board, and he doesn't want to do anything with it,
"Do you, Tommy?" Ghostboo presses him again, which made Tommy shake his head.
He doesn't know this place at all, which made Ghostboo grin, "Indeed, instead of you accessing Niki's memories to know more about her, it went the other way around. She is something different, fascinating."
At this point, Ghostboo talking like that no longer surprises Tommy. It's just how they are...at least, he hopes, "We'll be safe here..I don't think Dream knows this place. As for that god, he most likely does."
What on earth is he talking about?
They don't look alright, they look like who they were when they are alive..at the same time, not.
It's like slowly and slowly, they're going back to the form that they used to be, but..not at the same time.
They look transparent, yet they look like they're alive; no longer floating, no longer passing through the walls.
"Tommy, I should ask you.." Ghostboo's voice is stern, Tommy does not find that appealing,
"How did you become like this? Like I get it I get it- It's being killed and revived I know- But still-" The ghost towers over him as Tommy steps back.
It's not like he's afraid, yet his feet move, his body almost reaching the table he doesn't want to touch, "It's like..how- How did you get to do that around people? Is it because the rest of your senses have deafened, therefore your sixth sense or whatnot has kicked in? Is it because you met someone that gave you this? Blessed you? Cursed you? Or is this all the product of being killed and revived..."
Clutching the table, Tommy feels cold..not just cold..as well as fear, "Have you got yourself in me before?" Tommy didn't respond, "You never connected with me before, have you?"
He slowly shakes his head, not liking this sort-of-looking confrontation.
The answer made Ghostboo smile wide, "That is probably because I'm not alive..yet."
He blinks his eyes,
"With you, maybe he can finally figure out the last variable of the equation."
What is he talking about?
"You can't exactly run away, can you, Tommy? We're trapped here, you and me. Techno and Phil are taken away, Niki is dead, and your own brother..betrayed you. You have no one to save you."
Tommy feels weak..from all the information slapped at him. Two of the most powerful people in the server..were taken away?
Niki..his friend?
Dead? She's-
No. It can't be..
She can't feel her.
Does that mean she's dead?
Or does that mean-
Ghostboo pushes a finger, instead of passing through, it stays on his forehead, "I am dissipating from being ghost to mortal..I may be fading, but getting back to physical shape..Where you can feel me, and I can touch you."
Why are they fading?
Why are they acting like this?
Why is Ranboo like this?
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Being in limbo must be the worst thing ever to experience for a living being.
Being in the overworld must be something that a ghost could never handle..and understand.
The ghost never understood how they came to be.
They just did, and ought to be someone they are not.
His memories were a blur, a rush, and a curse..but it's not like they could shove them all away.
They know..everything; who he was, where he was from, how he got to this wretched server, how he got himself involved in a war, how he formed a family, a lover..a son.
How he died..and how Dream was between it all.
They still couldn't understand how Dream discovered the phenomena, they are well aware that not only the risk Ranboo took to activate his enderman self, but Dream was under it all.
They can't exactly judge him, Dream must have persuaded him well..too well, and false hope has always been tempting to savour.
They have seen what he has done, the things he had to do just to appease him, just to know the answer..of who he truly is.
He believed that Dream knows, and if he keeps believing in him, maybe that's how he'd find the end.
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But he reached his end, before he'd find the end of all searches..all the answers.
And what he was rewarded was his ghost..
A ghost who was forced to roam in the living world; pushed to handle all the repercussions of what their living self did.
It's to no surprise that they despised him. Ranboo was the fault of all their pain.
Beneath those smiles lie a confused image.
A ghost who holds all answers, but for questions they don't need to know.
They can see it all: memories as shards, lying around their peripheral vision.
There is no need to work so hard to figure out a connection, each memory is clear as day..and they hate it so.
For the first days of their existence, they haven't realised how it feels so refreshing to be alive.
Little do they know that even the ghosts have limbos..where the living mortals experience hell as death, ghosts experience this..to live.
They were happy, too happy that they didn't give two shits to people around them.
Why would they care? This is their life after all.
Why would they have to care for something they weren't to blame?
Why would they have to fix things?
Why would they have to be bothered to make everything right?
Tubbo was right. They weren't Ranboo.
They may be a part of him, or a whole complete being as an opposite of his identity.
Whatever that may be, they can never be someone they want them to be.
And they don't want to.
Yet a part of them does.
..Isn't that why they were doing all of this?
All for a selfish desire, and for their stupid heart that loves?
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"You must be Ranboo..at least, what you once were before. If Wilbur was Ghostbur..Ghostboo then?"
They opened their eyes, someone must have spoken to them, to call that wretched name right in front of their face.
The only thing they questioned was who, who spoke to them?
Against all the noises, and the mist surrounding them, a figure came close in the middle of the storm.
They found their green cloak familiar, especially their mask which held that smile.
Dream.
"Are you alright? Why are you under the rain?" He asked again, his tone unclear. Was he curious or did he care? Soaring through the hybrid's memories, even he had mixed feelings about him. They wondered why.
Still, Ghostboo attempted to smile, despite the burning pain in their heart and their dissipating body, "Mhm..Just..being around rain. I like rain."
They could feel his eyes narrowing, of course he wouldn't buy that lie. They should have lied better to a snake, "You look hurt under that cloth you're eager to hold. Are you covering yourself up? You should have gone to a shade if the rain still hurts you."
Why did he sound like that?
Was he trying to be compassionate?
Just to fool them in the long run?
Well, one thing they learned from sifting through the enormous amounts of shards Ranboo left them, was to never trust him.
And they'll never will,
"I don't get hurt by rain."
Dream then pulled the cloth away from them and Ghostboo looked away in shame.
The two could hear it sizzling, it was surprising though, "You're a ghost. Why are you-"
"I don't know what's going on." They admitted, they could feel their body shaking, "I don't know what's happening. It's just..I started not communicating with him and now I'm getting this. Usually it doesn't hurt but-"
Dream observed how the rain hit their skin, how it sizzled like water meeting flame.
It's fascinating, they're fascinating, "You can communicate with the person you used to be before?"
The question made Ghostboo glare, an uncommon expression, "I am not him. And I am never him. I'm sick of people telling me that I'm this person and I have to act and be like this and that..I'm tired of it all."
Chuckling, Dream let them go as Ghostboo held onto the cloth tightly, "Why do you bother pretending to be a ghost when you're becoming something..different?"
It took a while for them to answer,
"I don't..know." They answered, honestly, "A part of me wants this all to stop..another..doesn't want to upset more people than I already did..."
They inhaled and lightened the grip of their coat, "Techno and Phil already viewed me differently, I couldn't be there for Michael..and Tubbo.."
Their heterochromatic eyes darkened, "Why do I even care about him? I'm not Ranboo..and I can never be like him..no matter how much I have all of his memories.."
Dream, the whole time he remained quiet, and when the time he could speak, he did, "You can never be like him just because you know what he's like or what he's ought to act..Make a person pretend to be someone else, even with all of the information, they can never be the same."
He leaned close, "You don't have to act like anyone else. Ghostbur wasn't even too bothered to be like Wilbur. Ghosts don't have to replace the ones the people lost, I don't see why you have to pretend to be someone you're not."
Ghostboo was not sure what to say, and so they kept quiet, "Is that what you feel, Ghostboo? Do you desire to be your own, and to be someone that you can be you..without anyone stopping you?"
The fact that they could get away from all the troubles, the sorrows and the pain; emotions they don't want to process and the memories they don't want to get involved with.
They want it all gone and start anew,
"I may know how to bring Ranboo back, but I don't how to bring you back to life..without having Ranboo involved." He ponders out loud,
"As much as you don't want to accept, you guys are connected in some way. You mentioned that you can contact him. That's something that I am familiar with with Wilbur and his ghost."
Ghostboo blinked in shock, Wilbur and Ghostbur have a connection too?
"If you want me to find a way to make you a whole new individual, I'm sure I can figure it out a few months or more-"
"Wai- Wai wai-" The ghost stops him, "Are you saying that you're going to help me?"
That made Dream almost snort in amusement, "There's no use to be kind to you, if you are right, you have seen how much I have manipulated who you were once before-"
"I am not him!-"
"Then maybe we can have something that we can agree on."
Dream forwarded in a swift that causes Ghostboo to fall on the ground, mud mixing with their transparent skin and clothes.
The sword's tip met their face, and gods know that they barely felt fear..except now.
Usually they don't fear dying, but now it felt like they're meeting death himself,
"I have the power to bring Ranboo back. But that would mean I would kill you in the process." Dream's smile terrified them, yet they couldn't run away,
"But I have no plans in bringing him back, and your desire piques my interest. Therefore, I can work with that. It won't be for you, it would be for the both of us: for my studies, and your wish."
The rain hardly hurt their skin anymore, his words surely knew how to get to their head.
Are they as gullible as Ranboo?
Would they succumb the same as him?
"What must I do for you to obtain that?"
Dream could tell they were already eager to accept and so he pulled away his blade from them, "If you would let me experiment you, I can find a way through that. Although you must know that the process is always risky and you should be ready for the upcoming repercussions of claiming what you want. Are you ready for all of that?"
If it means becoming mortal..
If it means having a life they want instead of being a painful image of others...
If it means having a life of their own..
Their own with no expectations, limitations,
"I'm in."
Dream lifted up his hood and walked away, his boots pitter pattered against the mud, "We'll talk in time. I'm sure a part of you knows where to find me." He murmured before ender pearling away.
Ghostboo was about to process the info they got, but then Techno came.
Had to pretend like a ghost.
Had to smile.
Had to pretend.
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"Is this what you have been doing?"
"For a while. After breaking out, I was fascinated by the revival book's concept..Since my base was pretty eh for experimentation, I used one suitable place for such matters."
Ghostboo frowned at the familiar, dark walls..and despite being in the nether, the area gave them goosebumps, "Pandora's Vault."
Dream had been giving the ghost a tour around the prison, although Ghostboo already knew this place well..too well.
It was a memory that they couldn't exactly get off from their head,
"My former experiments were somewhere, but I didn't want to rat out my loyal partner, so I had to move here."
It was useless to ask who his partner was, he'd most likely not say anyway.
The maniac's hand held one of the ghost's memory books.
They could feel his smile widening every time he passed a page.
He must be reminiscing the things he did to Ranboo, how sociopathic of him, "One of the memory books..strange. I'm not surprised that this was your way to communicate to Ranboo, but still..an unexpected feat."
He closed the book shut with a soft thud, "Wilbur and Ghostbur's relationship is not even a decent communication. It's more like, Ghostbur is able to see what Wilbur is up to and able to talk to him, whereas Wilbur can't do either of the two."
Ghostboo found that information interesting,
"You and Ranboo seem to talk seamlessly..I mean talked, rather. But are you able to see him and his limbo?"
The ghost shook their head, casually. Dream could tell they were being honest, "I don't, but he has told me that he's in some dirt block trapped in the middle of the ocean. But I haven't seen it before, nor seen any visions like Wilbur does ever."
Dream hummed, pondering more, "Is he able to see you though? Is he able to see the overworld? What is happening to the world right now?"
That was something that the ghost does not know, and so they shrugged, "No idea..I mean, we can ask hi-"
"You'd rather not. It might disrupt your fading process-"
"But if this keeps up, I'm going to cease existing-"
"You'll not. I'll make sure of it." The way he said that was firm.
Ghostboo couldn't help but to trust him on that..knowing well it might be a grave mistake.
At the same time, he was the only one that actually understood them and even accepted them.
Even Aimsey's repulsed by the fact that stars best friend was dead all along.
Dream is different, he knew who Ranboo was and what he did. He understood their frustration, their pain.
The fact that they can't fit in; the feeling of lost, confusion, rejection, anger, vengeance. The desire to be free, to be happy,
"When will we be able to finish this experiment?" They asked softly, lowering themself down.
Months passed and they had grown exhausted each time. Teleporting finely became rare, and it'd be only a matter of time that they'd keep floating.
Dream explained to them that the fact that they can feel fatigue means that they're becoming mortal, and they trust him for that,
"Soon. Once we can get him. We can fix you for the better." His words may be sharp, but it was also sweet cotton.
A part of them wished they could get that from Tubbo agai- No- They shake their head.
They don't love Tubbo, that's who Ranboo is..and therefore they don't care about him.
Why would they?
He was terrible to them.
They tried.
They tried.
They tried and tried and tried and all they got were hatred, unacceptability, and disgust.
They're done with that.
Ghostboo's look darkened, "Do we really have to get Ivory involved with this?" They clenched their transparent fists, remembering what Tommy had done through Ranboo's lens, "He seems..I don't know.."
Dream noticed their doubt, "Is there a reason you'd rather not want him involved?"
They rose up their head, meeting his stare,
"It's not like..you care about him, right? More than your wish? Or you're hiding something from me about him-"
"I'm scared of him."
That was something that Dream did not expect, "What?? You're scared of him?-"
"I know it sounds fucking stupid- and I hardly feel anything as is but I just..fear him I guess.."
They didn't like being unsure, they hated this, "Something about him..who he is now..My memories about him are useless because he's nothing but Tommy but a new different person. Ivory is someone that I cannot work with, I don't..think it would be a good idea.."
Noticing that familiar anxiety he sees whenever Ranboo panics, Dream clasped their shoulder, "Hey, it's alright. You know well we have to take every chance we get to make you better. Tommy might be the last piece that I am missing in the equation. A ghost with a mortal body, like him, you can exist that way too."
Ghostboo frowned, but accepted Dream's reassurance, "It'll work..right?"
Their words made Dream laugh, "You're making yourself sound like Ranboo- You're talking to me, hybrid..Everything works out if it's my way.
"Trust me."
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Their ears perk up, hearing out those familiar footsteps..echoing around the cobble brick walls.
They know who it was, yet their eyes peer upon Tommy who's staring back at them.
This is why they fear him, it's literal when one mentions he can see through your soul,
"It seems that you gained some courage." Dream speaks up, Tommy remains unresponsive, as well as Ghostboo.
Well, they can hear him, that's all, "So this is the Syndicate you were talking about, Ghostboo?"
The ghost nods, their numb eyes stare at the place, for some reason, the feeling of guilt is slowly eating them alive,
"This is where Ranboo and the others take their secret meetings. Their so-called book club.." Dream inspects around, eager to find any secrets that he can claim as his.
Although, he expects Phil and Techno are adept at doing contraptions, so it's futile to find anything.
What he finds fascinating the most is the table, he finds the outline of the furniture familiar, "Even they do not know what they have done to this.."
The ghost creases their brows, "Hm?"
Dream could also laugh at their ignorance..everyone's ignorance really, "It's a rare structure that is naturally generated around strongholds such as this. It cannot be obstructed, nor destroyed..That's how powerful this is."
Ghostboo's shoulders grow tense, "What..is this thing?"
Dream grins, facing the ghost, "One of the keys that holds all answers."
Before taking out a few ropes, "Where there is hell, there is also heaven.."
He wraps Tommy with them and with a tight knot, he is now restrained. It surprises him that he's keeping still, "A safe place."
He touches the cold substance with his free hand, his eyes might as well glimmer in green, "The End."
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"Are you alright?"
"Why are you asking me that? My ghost betrayed everyone."
"..Yeah. So did my brother."
Ranboo peers at Tommy, no longer finding his presence discomforting. Hallucination or not, seeing Tommy's face calms him down.
It's torture that he gets to see everything, what happens in the overworld occurs in the waters,
"You should stop crying. I can see your tears burning your face."
That made Ranboo chuckle, that worsened the wounds from bleeding out, "I don't care..I don't fucking care anymore.." He scratches his hair in frustration,
"I'm so fucking useless..I'm stuck here, can't help anyone, can't do anything.." Tear falls then another, Tommy can feel the ocean stewing up a storm..but he's no longer afraid of that.
He doesn't know what to feel anymore.
Wilbur betrayed him.
He chose the one who made him like this more than him.
Him!
Is he aware that Dream did this?
Is he aware that Dream made him like this?
Does it matter if he knows it or not?
Why does it matter?
He chose his so-called saviour, more than his own brother.
His own brother,
"I can't do anything either. My body sucks out there. I can't even run..hide..or cry.." He lifts up his knees, despair lacing his eyes,
"Phil and Techno are now in the prison, and hell if I know if Niki and Tubbo's dead already..Tubbo..If he dies, it's going to be his last life..and I don't know what to do if I lose him for good."
Ranboo blinks at that, and stares at Tommy, "Who's.."
Tommy widens his eyes, feeling the cracks worsening,
"Who's Tubbo?"
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"You're no longer reacting again. Such a shame, you were screaming pretty well days ago." He throws Tommy on the snow once they get out of the stronghold, alongside Ghostboo who teleported them out.
No one cared if they were bleeding, no one cared if they looked like they'll soon cease to exist, "Imagine the things we can do to him, Ghostboo. You'll get what you want in no time." Dream smirks at them before ganging up his steed close to Tommy.
They figure they'll just do horseback on the way back to the prison. His horse runs fast so there'd be no issue.
Once he got Tommy up to the saddle, Dream noticed a little pile amidst the snow.
Not minding that the cabin has stopped burning and now spewing smoke and a few ash, he eyes Niki slowly being enveloped in the snow.
She doesn't look like she's breathing, her pink hair whisks against the wind.
Dream narrows his eyes on her, his soulless pools stares at dead ones, "I wonder if she's like the others..If she only lives once then it's truly a shame." He remarks softly before getting up,
"Are you going to revive her if that's the case?" Ghostboo asks.
Dream can sense a hope in their tone..do they care about her?
"I might."
He flicks the reins and the horse gallops, "See you back at the prison!" was all Ghostboo managed to hear from him, they only wave and lower their grin once he can no longer see them.
They float up and eye Niki's state, wondering if she's truly dead or not, "Why does it matter if you are alive?..You meant so much to Ranboo after all."
They touch her clammy face, her bluish complexion. Once they heard a soft pulse beneath her skin, they laughed, "You're alive, I can feel it..It's not your time to die..friend."
With all their might, they lift her up against the snow. Although this force can hurt them, a part of them urges them that it doesn't matter.
They need to get her to safety.
They aren't sure if Ranboo's the one who's saying that..does it even matter?
"Don't worry, Niki..I'll call in Aimsey..he'll..keep you alive.." They muster through breathes, taking her to Ranboo's house with all their strength,
"Stay with him, stay with Michael..Stay away from all the conflict..Live for once in your life, because gods above and below, value yours more than other people's lives." They plop her on the bed, and wrap her up in blankets.
They can no longer touch water, they're returning, similar to the hybrid's state, "I'm tired of acting like Ranboo..I can never be like him..I can never be anyone all of you want me to be..I'm tired of needing to value other people's lives.
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"I wish you could follow what I'm trying to achieve here..I have always wanted to be alive."