When Y/n already accepted his fate and was about to lose his consciousness he saw something in the water . He started to panik thinking it was a shark that would try to eat him but then he forced his eyes and realised it was Rex in the form of a monke swimming towards him .
Rex:
This made Y/n panik even more because he didn't wanted to be saved .
Y/n: NONONONO ! Stay there , leave me here ! I don't want to be saved ! I would rather be eaten by shark instead of surviving this .
Unfortunately for him , Rex grabbed his hand and dragged to the surface so he could breathe OXYGEN !
Y/n : NO ! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS !?
Rex: What ? I saved you .
Y/n: you weren't supposed tô do that ! Let me go !
...
Rex: ...Good soldiers follow orders ... Ok .
Rex did what Y/n told him to which made Y/n smile for a moment but he stopped smiling after Rex realised the shit he did and dragged him back to the surface again .
Y/n : Fuck you Rex , stop trolling me !
Rex: What the hell happened to you !? You've acting way too edgy depressed and SUS ever since we talked to ningguang at the jade chamber . What happened to you man ?
Y/n: Just ... Just ... Just fucking drop me please !
When Y/n said that he sounded like someone who was about to cry , and for some fucking reason the millelith soldier started falling in the water .
And Rex realized some really bad shit just happened to Y/n so tried to ... interrogate him.
Rex: Man , are you ok ?
Y/n : Nah man ... It's just my schizophrenia...
Rex: Schizophrenia never made you want to something like this . Tell me what happened.
Y/n .... Well . You died , then I died , and then I saw jesus again , he almost killed me but instead he activated bite za dusto and I was sent back in time .
Rex: ... That's rough buddy .
Then silence came ... Both of them decided to shut up for a few seconds until more millelith started falling in the water .
Y/n: What the hell is happening up there it's literally raining millelith .
Rex: Well ... Osial threw more water at them and the platform created by the geo sugar mommy was destroyed alongside the ballista and now all the millelith are dying because the useless adepti were only able to save people who are important to the story .
Y/n : Ok . This means that madam ping don't want to unleash all he power the only weapon we had was destroyed I can't move , you are the only who is able to fight but you are here holding me and that thing still has 3 heads to throw water at us !? Is this battle winnable !?
Rex: I think it's too early to tell .
After he said that the jade chamber was struck by another water canon made by osial and a big ass wave swallowed by Y/n and Rex but they survived .
Y/n : Look at that shit those useless adepti are nothing without Morax and I am 99,9% sure he's not going to appear out of nowhere to save them . IS THIS BATTLE WINNABLE !?
Rex: Well ... we .... we landed 2 critical hits on hims that's... that's 2 more than 0 , it's not that bad .
Y/n: The jade chamber is falling ...
Rex: What the f- , OH SHIT !
Ningguang said "I will have order" and the jade chamber threw herself at osial resulting in a big ass explosion and osial being sealed again . But thanks to one of Newton laws , the explosion created a big ass wave that swallowed both Y/n and Rex and Rex ended up losing Y/n in the process.
Rex: Y/n !? Shit , Y/N ! WHERE ARE YOU !? CAN YOU HEAR ME !?
And if things couldn't get worse Y/N didn't had time to breathe air before getting underwater , instead he swallowed a whole gallon of the sea salty water . Then he started having the flashbacks everyone has before dying .
Y/n: I hate water .
Eventually Rex managed to save him and he threw up all the water he swallowed and they started swimming towards liyue harbor.
Meanwhile
Paimon: Is it... finally over?
Moon Carver: The ominous aura of that monster has indeed begun to fade. The effects of the Sigil of Permission last but a short time. It will be some time before the Overlord of the Vortex can make any waves again.
Ningguang: We are indebted to you for your assistance. If the adepti hadn't happened to be here, the future of Liyue Harbor would surely have been in great jeopardy...
Cloud Retainer: Hmph, save your flattery. We didn't just "happen" to be here... Surely you won't pretend to have forgotten the reason for which we came?
Madame Ping: Come now, there's no need for such harsh words, Cloud Retainer. I've heard that when Ningguang began learning to do business, she had already started setting aside part of her then-limited income in preparation for building the Jade Chamber. At first, it was only the size of a small room. But with continued expansion, it has become the palace that lies before you now. It is a testament to Ningguang's entire life, both as a businesswoman and as the backbone of the Liyue Qixing. Seeing the Jade Chamber destroyed in the defense of Liyue means much to her. To me, such cooperation and sacrifice deserves at least some recognition, don't you agree?
Ningguang: Well, I was really hoping you would say that such sacrifice could at least be used as some leverage in our negotiations.
Madame Ping: ...Heh.
Ningguang: Thank you all for hearing me out. We know very well why the adepti came here today... But please forgive us, we cannot yield to your wishes.
Moon Carver: Oh?
Ningguang: 3,700 years... According to our records, the adepti signed a contract with Rex Lapis to protect Liyue 3,700 years ago. Even to this very day, Liyue and its lands have stood the test of time, immovable as stone, just as it was thousands of years before. This is truly no small feat. But that does not mean that Liyue today is the same city as it was all those years ago.
Do not merely cast your protective gaze upon the land. Instead, focus your sights on our city and each of the citizens that dwell within it.
Moon Carver: Are you questioning our means of protecting Liyue?
Mountain Shaper: Hmm...
Ningguang: I mean no offense. I simply hope that our new adepti forebearers would see Liyue in a new light.
Cloud Retainer: Hah, "forebearers" you say. One doubts you would be fit to be part of such a lineage...
Ningguang: This morning, Rex Lapis appeared to me in a dream.
Beidou: *sigh* And here we go again ...
Ningguang: In the dream, I yearned to tell him that we Qixing, though mortal, are equally bound to the contract. Each passing generation of the Qixing leaves many things of value to be inherited by the next generation. I also thought to tell him how the past generations of Qixing had strove under his rule to survive in our mortal world, establishing a network of contracts which has since come to be known as "trade." But I dared not speak. I could only gaze at him in silence until the moment I awoke.
Paimon: Aw, Ningguang...
And finally Rex and Y/n arrived at the harbor ,with Rex throwing Y/n in the middle of everyone in there and turning who surprisingly landed on his feet .
Rex: We are still alive , thank you for asking ...
Y/n: Did everyone see that ? Because i will NOT be doing it again !
Then Y/n fell asleep like he always do after a big battle . And the responsibility of going to talk to zhongli and watch him give the gnosis to signora was now with Rex and Paimon .
Timeskip
While Paimon and Rex and Childe were being turtored by the sight of the geo milf hunter giving his chess piece to the ice milf
Y/n PostTomatoStress was triggered
He woke up , tried to punch a non existent being , realized it was all a dream .
Y/n: Another one of those weird dreams ... *sigh* atleast i'm still alive .
After he managed to kalm down he decided to lie down on the floor again to keep thinking about all the bullshit he still would gave to deal with , but instead of feeling the floor under his head he felt something extremely soft and comfortable like a pillow. When he grabbed it , his fingers sinked in it .
Y/n: I know this , i'm 100% sure this is a top quality pure and thicc pair of THIGHS , but ... who do they belong to ?
Lumine: You're finally awake.
Y/n: Oh , it's you !
Y/n quickly got up and gave Lumine a bone crushing hug while crying tears of joy.
Lumine: Y-Y/ɴ...
Y/n: Oh Lumine , you have no fucking idea how happy I am now that I finally founded you , every since I got in this world everything has been just horrible !
Lumine: ʸ/ⁿ ?
Y/n : I was arrested then I got blind , then was abandoned by my emergency then I died then I broke my spine . Got manipulated by a milf hunter to help him retire.
Lumine: ʏ/ɴɴɴɴ !
Y/n: Then he broke my hands and my legs , then I r4ped someone because I was bored .
Lumine: ʸ/ⁿ ᵒˣʸᵍᵉⁿ ... ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ...
Y/n: Then i died again , then i saw my friend die , i took an arrow in the knee , became a skyrim guard for a few minutes, got tortured by griefer jesus , then i almost drowned , but I was saved but then I almost drowned again !
It took 5 minutes for Y/n to realize he was choking lumine not in a way he would like to , and he finally dropped her .
Y/n : Oh sorry .
Exact 30 seconds later after Y/n cleaned all his tears and Lumine breathed the AIR .
Lumine: S-sorry for dragging you to ... that fight against osial I didn't thought you had gone to so much ever since you got in this world .
Y/n : It's fine ... if you didn't dragged me to the fight i bet i still would try to kill that thing myself. No I wouldn't ... now ... where are we ?
Lumine: We are in one of the best medic that exists in teyvat , a statue of the seven .
Y/n: Oh...that explains why i'm still moving ... so how did things went for you when you woke up .
Lumine: Well... I woke up in an island in inazuma , everything in that place seemed like it wanted to kill and there was a storm that never stopped . Fortunely for me i was rescue by beidou and her crew and she brought me here , and when ningguang found out I could use elemental energy just by touching the statues she invited me to work for the qixing .Now what happened to you , you look ... traumatised.
Y/n told her EVERYTHING he has gone through except the parts where he died , and Lumine chose not to ask about it afraid that it would trigger his PTSD.
Lumine: D-do you have any idea where Aether is ?
Y/n: No ...but since he was the first one to be caught by the cubes he probably woke up before us .
Lumine: I hope he's okay . Like imagine if he woke up in snezhnaya or in the abyss ! I hope nothing bad happened to him . You're going to help me find him right ?
He didn't heard the last part
Y/n: Lumine ...
Instead he looked DEEP in her eyes like he never saw a woman in his entire life . He grabbed her arms with a considerable amount of strength.
Lumine: Y-Y/n !? W-what are you doing ?
Her whole face got red instantly, when she looked at him , he was blushing aswell , and he started to get closer and closer . And she started to panik , he only didn these kind of things when he was drunk and he did this to Lumine Aether was always there to cockblock him. But this time there was no Aether .
Lumine was unsure if she should just go for it or try to stop him, he kept getting closer and she kept going back , she wanted to have more time to think about it , those 2 were not on the same page anymore he was balls deep meanwhile she didn't even know what was happening .
When he realized that she was avoiding him , he decided that it would be a good idea to just bite her neck instead for some reason . And did it . Sending shivers down her spine while his canine teeth were sinking in her skin.
Lumine: Ugh , Y-Y/n , s-stop !
He finally let go of her arms, he even licked his lips with her blood like a vampire .
Lumine: W-WHY DID YOU DO THAT !?
Y/n: To be honest ... I don't know neither my body was moving on it's own this whole time , it's all your fault aswell .
Lumine: My fault !?
Y/n: Next time just take the kiss ...or don't, your blood tastes surprisingly sweet for some reason.
Lumine: Y/n friends don't bite each other !
Y/n: Don't lie to me Lumine , I know you enjoyed it aswell.
Lumine: L-Let's change subject, Paimon and that dog of yours might arrive here at any moment! Actually, I want you to answer me why in the living hell do you carry this is your inventory !
She though she showed him his book but instead she showed him ... this picture:
Y/n: Oh I remember , this .! That day was crazy ! All 3 of us got drunk then we fu-
Lumine: NONONO ,I didn't meant this !
Y/n : Man aether was making the most lewd faces I have ever seen whil-
She quickly hid the picture from Y/n and grabbed his book.
Y/n: Wait a minute , why do you still have this pic with you ?
Lumine: That's none of your business, just answer me what is this.. THING doing in your inventory !
Y/n:
Y/n: W-where did you found this !?
Lumine: You dropped in the jade chamber , Ningguang Paimon and Beidou readed a few pages of this thing too .
Y/n:Oh God. L-Lumine ... I can explain.
Lumine: Then do it !
Y/n: Damn she actually going to let me talk . Well hmmmm ... remember when we travelled to that world full of flowers and you were the only one of us enjoying the world ?
Lumine: Oh yeah , that place was beautiful , aether never used the flower I gave him . And you 2 decided to travel to leav me there and travel to another world .
Y/n: We spent 5 fucking years in that place because of you we just wanted to have fun aswell, me and Aether then decided to leave you there with your flowers so we could to the next world wihout you ...
Lumine: You what ?
Y/n: Then he founded the world where this book was made and gave me a copy of it and then he told me " this is just like pokemon Y/n , we gotta fuck'em all " . And I laughed a lot when he said that .
Lumine: And you 2 actually ...
Y/n: Yes ! Every single one of them . We fucked them, all the 224 monster girls ... actually we didn't fucked all of them some are lolis others turn men into spiders or zombies , shit like that .
Lumine: ... I can't believe this , d-did you really-
Y/n: All of them ! And not just the demihumans ... but the reptiles ... and the plants too .
Lumine: No... there no way you 2 actually...
Y/n: They were animals , and we treated then like animals... WE FUCKED THEM ! Actually I was the one who did it aether got r4ped by half of them because they were way too strong.
Lumine: Y-you didn't did it with the slimes... right ?
Y/n: Oh yeah , the slimes were the best , we could literally stick our d1ck anywhere .
Lumine: There's no way you did ... things with all these monster like ... look at this , this a DRAGON .
Y/n: And where the problem with the dragons ?
Lumine: If dragons aren't weird then look at this , what in the living hell is a cursed sword !?
Y/n: ... Cursed swords were the best . Also there nothing weird about these girls they all have boobs and ...
Lumine: That doesn't matter this is still weird . There's literally plant in this thing .
Y/n: It's no my fault those plants were hot okay . If this make things better I didn't did it with the weirdest ones .
Lumine: What about this... manticore , please tell you didn't did it with a manticore .
Y/n: A manticore... oh those things ... well ............ a hole is a hole .
Chapter end
This chapter was supposed to be longer but I'm way too lazy to just write the rest of it and I need to somehow get this book back to the #1 of shitpost because yes .