"So.. I was just thinking.. since we've been on the road for a while, that something simple, something at home would be nice, if that's okay." He said, peeking over at me shyly.
"I love it." I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder as he guided us over, pulling out the chair for me.
On the table next to us, he had laid out a tray of graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows. It was adorable.
"We always made s'mores together when we were little, so I just thought-" I cut him off, pulling him into a long kiss.
"I love it, Josh. Really." He stared back at me with dazed eyes.
"Okay. I just.. I want you to know how special you are to me, and.. well, fancy things have never really been our-" I cut him off again, pulling him back into another kiss, unable to contain my giddy laughter.
"Josh, I said I love it. I mean it." He nodded, his smile growing.
"Okay."
"Now come sit with me, I'm hungry." I laughed. He didn't hesitate to make his way over, sitting down and pulling his chair in closer to me.
It was one of the best dates I've ever had. Not once did I worry about how I looked, or what to say, or what to do. Time spent with him was effortless, and it was so nice to finally feel at peace.
"So.. I think my film should be done soon." He said, taking a huge bite out of his s'more.
"Does that mean I'll finally get to see it?" I asked eagerly. He shrugged, smirking over at me.
"Maybe."
"Josh.." I groaned, playfully rolling my eyes. He leaned in, gently kissing my lips, flashing me a wide grin.
"It'll be worth it, I promise."
"Alright, then when?" I asked, suddenly more curious than I've ever been. The longer he made me wait, the crazier it drove me.
But whenever it was ready, I knew it was going to be beautiful.
Just like everything else he's ever created.
Anything he would make would be.. incredible.
"Maybe.. by Christmas." He finally said, reaching for more crackers.
"You're gonna make me wait that long?" I laughed. He nodded, sticking a marshmallow onto the skewer and holding it close to the flame, slowly rotating it to get it a perfect golden brown.
"How are you just good at everything?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, finishing putting the s'more together and handing it over to me. I couldn't help but smile, taking it from him.
"I'm not good at everything, Jaime." He said softly, keeping his eyes locked on the fire. His face glowed such a brilliant orange from the flickering flames, painting him like the most magnificent sunset you've ever seen.
And suddenly orange was my favorite color.
"You are in my eyes." I said softly, feeling my face get hot. He stopped, looking back over at me with that same look I had longed for for years.
"Well, I try really hard for you." He muttered, looking back at the fire. I scooted my chair closer, reaching over for his hand. His lips instantly curled into a wide grin as he intertwined our fingers, pulling my hand up to his lips.
"You know, I was always jealous of you growing up." I said, now allowing our hands to hang between our chairs, gently swinging them back and forth.
"Why would you be jealous of me?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Because.. you just always seemed to have it all figured out. No matter what it was, anything you wanted to do, you just.. you did it, like it was nothing. And.. I've always wanted to be like that."
He stayed quiet for a moment, holding his stare on the fire again, keeping that same smile pressed against his lips.
"Jaime, can I tell you something?" He finally said, trying his hardest to contain his timid laughter.
"Of course."
"I was always faking it."
"W-what do you mean?"
"I mean.. all those things you're talking about, everything that you think just came so easily.. I tried so hard, Jaime. I would spend.. hours getting good at things, just.. for you to think I was good at things. I've always just wanted to impress you." I couldn't help but smile, my heart beating faster.
"Well, you always did."
"Then it was all worth it."
"But.. maybe if I had known that, maybe.. we could have gotten better at things.. together, instead of me feeling like.. I would never measure up to you." I said softly, now avoiding his eyes. I could feel his grip on my hand getting tighter.
"Well, I'd like to do that now." He said. "I know that.. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to all of this school stuff, so.. I'd love it if we could.. figure that out together." I nodded, looking over to catch him already smiling back at me.
"Do you know what you're going to submit?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, feeling my body getting hot. I thought I knew what I wanted it to be on, but.. then things changed, and.. when inspiration strikes, you just had to run with it.
"I think I have an idea." I muttered.
"Are you gonna tell me?" He asked, my heart jumping at the sound of his gentle laughter. I shook my head, smirking back at him.
"Jaime.."
"This is what you get for not showing me what you've made." He shook his head, playfully rolling his eyes.
"I never said you couldn't see it, I just said that I wanted it to be done. And it almost is. I just need you to be patient."
"Alright." I sighed. "But then you're going to have to be patient too." He scrunched up his face, turning his attention back to the fire.
"I guess that's fair."
The rest of the night was filled with nervous daydreams about what college would actually be like, having only experienced it through the exaggerations of teen movies and what we heard from friends who had packed up and moved away years ago. But despite how fun it was living within our hypothetical world, the lingering fear of only one of us receiving an acceptance letter often kept me up at night, knowing that it would be just another thing that pulled him away from me.
Because if anyone was going to have "Congratulations!" on top of their letter, it was going to be him.
I had lost track of time with him, but by now the fire had burned down to nothing but glowing embers on the bottom of the pit, grasping for life of the evening, never wanting it to end.
"Are you getting cold?" He finally asked, getting up and grabbing the cover to the fire pit, placing it back on top. I shrugged, not wanting to admit that I had lost feeling in my toes hours ago. He reached out his hand for me, helping me up out of my chair.
"Josh, I.. I loved this." I said, feeling my heart beat faster.
"Me too." He sighed, both of us now trying to stall him from him walking me back home. My eyes moved down to his lips, just wanting to end the night right if we were going to end it at all. His smile grew as he reached up, caressing my face, and pulling me into a gentle kiss.
And suddenly I felt like the simmering embers, slowly but surely grew into a raging flame at the feeling of his blistering touch.
When he finally moved away, he flashed me a giddy smile, beaming from ear to ear. I couldn't believe just how adorable he was, now unable to contain my lovesick grin.
"Josh, I lo-"
And then we both jumped at the sound of their front door opening, voices now filling their house. Some familiar, some leaving me to wonder who could possibly be coming over this late. Peeking in through the glass doors, my heart instantly dropped and all feelings of warmth and joy instantly withered away into the frozen night air as I saw Jake making his way into the kitchen with a girl I had never seen before. She clung to him, unable to take her eyes off of him as he brought her over towards their bar, pouring them both a drink, as well as two more for Sam and Leah.
"Jaime?" I heard from next to me, but I just couldn't look away. How did he managed to always find someone new so fast. I felt like I was going to be sick.
"Jaime.." I heard again, finally snapping out of it, turning back to Josh who's face had dropped into a somber frown.
We had just had an amazing night.
So how did Jake managed to walk in and ruin it just like that?
I tried to hide my face as tears filled my eyes, doing my best to quickly wipe them away before he saw. But he knew. He always knew.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" He asked. I nodded, biting down on my lip, trying to keep these tears from turning into anything more. He took my hand, slowly guiding me through their yard and over to my house, up the steps and to my front door again. I leaned back against it, staring back up at him, not wanting to go in yet. He held his stare on me, I'm sure having no idea what to say now. I didn't blame him.
"I'm sorry." I managed, wiping my eyes again.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He sighed. I reached up, gently holding his face in my hands, pulling him into a long kiss.
"I loved our date so much." I said softly. "And I want to do it again." He nodded, forcing a gentle smile.
"Jaime, I.. well.. maybe now it's.. not a good time." He sighed.
"No, no.. what is it?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster.
"I just.. well, I.. I wanted to ask you to be my date tomorrow. Like.. officially." He said timidly, his cheeks burning red. "And then.. well.. maybe that could mean.. more, but.. I want that to be done right, but.. right now-"
"Yes." I said, pulling him into another passionate kiss. He hesitated for a moment before I felt his hand move behind my neck, pulling me in closer until his lips curled into a smile.
"So then.. I'll come and pick you up tomorrow." He said. I nodded.
"I can't wait." He held his stare on me for a moment before leaning into one more gentle kiss.
"I love you, Jaime." He whispered.
"I love you, too." I said, watching as he slowly made his way back home, stopping at his back door, giving me a gentle wave before going inside.
I then made my way inside, feeling the tears fill my eyes again before I was even able to shut the door, where they instantly turning into sobs.