Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces...

By rootin-tootin-sandy

426K 16.9K 4.2K

Draco Malfoy was going to marry Harry Potter. It didn't matter that he was only eleven and had technically on... More

In Love For the First Time
Exchanging Bracelets and Dobby ships Drarry
Wands & Ice Cream-Draco Tries to Fight an Old Man
Narcissa will Murder this Muggle and No, Lucius You Can't Stop Me!
The Train: Harry's Worried He's Going to Get Head Lice
Bullying and the Library-Hermione Joins a Cult
Azkaban & Classes-Sirius Objects to This Marriage!
Love Confessions & Parents- Lucius Unintentionally Bribes the Hufflepuff House
Broken Bones and Gingers: Harry Thinks He Can Throw Hands
Essay's & Detention: Hermione's in Her Villain Era
Sirius & Black Family Drama-Narcissa vs Andromeda
Goblins and Jealousy-Let the Holiday Season Begin!
Peacocks and Dress Robes-Malfoy's Know How to Party
Ginny and Neville's Gran-Severus Should've Thrown Himself Down Those Stairs
Snowmen & Promise Rings-Harry Finally Gets His Revenge
Granny and Hide N Seek-Lucius Gets a New Kitchen
Board Meetings & Bedtime Stories-Arthur Weasley Knows Malfoy is Up To Something
Club Meetings & Broom Closets-Harry Learns a New Word
Misunderstandings & the Weasley Twins-Narcissa Is In It To Win It
Going Back to Hogwarts-Watch Out For the Murder Swamp
Parseltongue & Fights-Harry Really Really Really Likes Snakes
Sleepovers & Wands-Tonks is Not Afraid of Werewolves
Lying & Weapons-Severus Is Just So Proud
Rats & Tea-Harry Is Soooooo Clumsy
Beetles & Wedding Bells-Remus Ships Snack(Snape/Black)
Love Bugs & Dragons-Sirius Is Going To Have a Heart Attack
Puppy Love & Knitting-Sirius Knew It!
School Board Meeting-Weasley/Granger Inspire Fear in the Hearts of Everyone
Birthday Traditions & Rita Skeeter-Cedric Diggory is Not A Home Wrecker
First Dates & Trains-Neville Has a Moat? Wicked!
Sunrises & Beaches-Harry Doesn't Actually Know How to Swim
Grangers & Quidditch- Sirius Will Not Allow Harry to Grow Up!
Viktor & Brass Knuckles-Harry is Lost! If Found, Please Return to Draco
Crushes & Crocodiles-Neville Gets Hit On
Pickles & Moving- Remus Doesn't Know How All of These Kids Broke Into His House
Pigs in Wigs & Lava-Cedric Should Get Money When Someone Calls Him a Pervert
Baking & Talks-Draco Fainted and It's Totally Normal!
Shopping & Veela-Draco Finally Gets to Use His Brass Knuckles
Lunch & Birthdays-Harry Should Change His Name to Cupid
Invitations & Mean Girls-Harry Gets Jealous!
Promises & Law Suits-Harry Destroys a Building and Draco Finds It So Attractive
Candles & Chaperone's-Lucius's Precious Son Wants to Be Just Like Him!
Breaking In & Snake Reunions-Porkchop Can't Stop Stress Eating
Nargles & Dave-Even the Dead Are Tired Of Hearing About Drarry
Tomatoes & Cake-Hermione and the Twins Team Up For the Best Present Ever
Goodbyes & Lockhart-Gabrielle Is Learning Parseltongue to Scare the Students
Fame & Enemies-Lockhart Has a Type and It's Greasy Dungeon Bats
Stress Balls & Dueling Club-Lockhart Is Having a Terrible Day
Secret Tunnels & Snacks-Harry Is Out to Get Lockhart
Newspapers & Former Professor's-Moaning Myrtle Is a Peeping Tom
Basilisks & Fish-No Frogs or Bugs Were Injured In the Name of Vengeance
Weasley Family Smackdown-Bellatrix Really Likes Butterscotch
Rat Bones & Quidditch-Harry Makes An Excellent Cheerleader
Flu Season & Truths-Harry Is A Blabbermouth When He's Sick
Fist Fights & Muggles-Everyone Is Angry and They Are Going To Show It
Cupboards & Puke-Amelia Can't Wait to Feed These Muggles to the Dementors
Unicorns & Snakeskin-Cedric Diggory Has a Giant Squid Tattoo On His Back?
Bear Mace & Allies-Sirius Was NOT a Late Bloomer!
Bangs & Slurs-Sirius Will Use This Fork as a Murder Weapon.
Nunchucks & Piercings-Bill Weasley Is a Bad Influence
Bonding Time & Dresses-Hermione Is Not Enjoying Puberty
Snowballs Fights & Yule-Harry's a Mother Now
Family Photos & Lemon Drops-Harry Vs Fawkes!
Hearts & Cuddles-Angels Visit Hogwarts!
Prefect's Bathroom & Quidditch-Cho Will Read Your Fortune For Five Galleons!
Palm Readings & Feasts-Ron Has Boy Crush
Rubber Duckies & Wedding Binders-Ron Got to Touch a Stingray
Weddings & Poisons-Draco and Harry Are Separated For the First Time
Proposals & Fashion Shows-Hermione Shows Off Her Rage Room
Sentient Bushes & Toast-Reunited and It Feels So Good
Fish & Gossip-Oliver Wood Wants Answers and He Wants Them NOW
Dates & New Students- Cedric Is Going To Die
Reactions & Investigations-Ron's First Instinct Is To Fight
Dragons & Giants-The First Task
Wand Weighing & Eggs-Harry and Cedric Share the Same Bath?
Suspects & Necklaces-The Second Task (Harry Isn't Good At Riddles)
Parties & Marcy(Percy/Marcus)-Viktor's Broom Has a Name and He Loves Her!
Leather Pants & Quidditch-It's Valentine's Day and Everyone Is Getting Romanced!
Bondings & The Pit-Harry Wants to Have More Children Than The Weasley's
Brawls & a Sphinx-the Third Task (Part One)
Spiders & Crouch-the Third Task (Part Two)
Dark Lords & Funerals-Fleur Is Terrifying Everyone With Her Giant Crab Leg
Teeth & Paper Cranes-Bellatrix Is Going To Harry's Wedding, No Matter What!
Vultures & Candy-Harry Is Already Threatening People
Proposals & Strikes-Does Bigfoot Really Exist?
Thrones & Groundings-Our Boy Chad To the Rescue!
Quidditch & Luna- Neville Refuses To Look at Anyone's Arse!
Costumes & Seeing Double-Hermione Is Such An Icon
Pouting and Snow-the Hunger Games Meets a Snowball Fight
Marcy & Nurmengard-Grandaddy Grindelwald Is a Drarry Shipper!
Another Ball & Suits-Pretty Boy Diggory Will Never Get Rid Of His Nickname
Children & Clubs-It's Not Breaking In If The Door Was Already "Open"!
Holy Jokes & MHU-Lucius Is a Trendsetter
Petitions & Cookies-Hermione Summons a Demon (No! It's Not Illegal!)
Crookshanks & Cake-House Elves Love Lucius Malfoy
Pockets & Nargles-There Is a Bear Running Around Hogwarts!
Bachelor Parties & Holding Cells-Ron Looks So Cool With One Eyebrow!
Knights & Tea Leaves-Harry Is Missing! If Found, Please Inform Draco Immediately
Wedding Jitters & Gossip-Draco Loves His New Sweater
Invites & Criminals-Sirius Is Tired Of People Breaking Into His House
Exams & Handkerchiefs-Crookshanks Refuses To Eat Actual Cat Food!
Graduation & Rituals- Albus Dumbledore Gets What's Coming To Him, Finally!
Black Family Shenanigans & Azkaban Breakouts-The Wedding (Part One)
Stabbings & Twister- The Wedding (Part Two)

Scary Luna & Recovery-The HFC Swears Off Of Drinking!

1.6K 73 21
By rootin-tootin-sandy

Harry opened one eye before hissing in pain. He felt like ten quaffles were bouncing around in his head. He tried to take a deep breath before he gagged, his stomach rolling unpleasantly.
"Darling, are you okay?" Draco asked and Harry pulled the covers over his head. He was positive Draco hadn't shouted but he had sounded so loud. He heard rustling before Draco scooted under the blankets with him.
"Harry?" He whispered and he blindly reached out before covering his mouth.
"Please stop talking. I feel like my head is about to split open." He groaned as he curled into a ball. This had to be the worst day of his life! He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so awful. He was never drinking with Tonks again. He could still picture the evil grin she had on her face as she challenged him to a drinking game. It wasn't his fault he was competitive. Probably all of those years purposely losing to Dudley coming back to bite him in the arse. He realized he still had his hand covering Draco's mouth.
"Would you like me to get Severus?" He offered, Harry barely hearing his voice. He shook his head before wiggling closer to him. He just wanted to cuddle until he felt better.
"Please tell me I didn't do anything too embarrassing." Harry could remember dancing on a table but it was a blur after that.
"You were fine." Draco said slowly. That didn't sound good.
"Don't spare my feelings, Draco." His beloved gave a snort before saying "Ron kept trying to take Fleur out on a date." Harry opened his mouth before closing it.
"But they're already dating?"
"He kept asking Fleur if she was seeing anyone. When she mentioned she had a boyfriend, Ron said he would be a better one." Harry giggled before clutching his head.
"Neville said to prove his devotion, he should shave off one of his eyebrows." Draco continued and Harry gave a pained laugh.
"No!" Draco was rubbing his hands up and down his sides before he said "oh yes! Fleur said she would break up with her current boyfriend to date him, if he did it."
"Oh Merlin! Did he do it?" Harry asked.
"Ron is a very dedicated boyfriend." Draco said seriously before giving him a sly smile.
"Of course he did it!" He gagged again as his stomach rolled from laughing so hard.
"Perhaps a bath would make you feel better?" Draco offered.
"I would kiss Dumbledore, if it would make my head stop pounding." He muttered.

~~~~~~

Ginny shoved Neville out of the way as she puked up her dinner from the night before. She was going to summon whoever invented alcohol to kick their arse. She was so ill, she was convinced she could smell sounds.
"Ginny! Get out of my way." She spent the early morning sharing the toilet with Neville since their vomiting kept setting each other off. She finally staggered to her feet before standing in the shower, still in her pajamas from the night before.
"Is that helping?" Neville asked as he laid his cheek on the seat.
"That's disgusting and I think so?" He gave her a look before crawling towards her. She scooted over to make room for him and they sat there for what felt like forever. The bathroom door was thrown open and Daphne walked in. She gave a dramatic gasp before clutching her heart.
"My sweet Ginny and that rake Longbottom? My heart is shattered!" She collapsed into a pile on the floor before wrinkling her nose.
"It smells awful in here!" Ginny stopped trying to drown herself in the shower long enough to squint at her girlfriend.
"We both know I would never try and make a move on Nev. I saw Luna making a voodoo doll of that fifth year Hufflepuff who said his hair looked nice." Daphne let out a peal of laughter and Neville hunched over before moaning "I am never drinking again!" Daphne held her hand out and Ginny let her pull her out of the stall. She dried her hair before helping her out of her soaked clothes. Ginny breathed heavily out of her mouth as she struggled to pull her pants on.
"Longbottom, do you need help too?" Daph asked him and he nodded his head pitifully.
"Make sure to tell your girlfriend that I didn't see anything." Daphne was staring at the ceiling as Neville got changed.
"Will do!" They all managed to make it to the common room where they found Herm. Her hair was in tangles around her face and she was missing a shoe as she snored in front of the fireplace.
"Merlin! She's got hickey's everywhere!' Daphne announced loudly and Herm woke with a start, her arms flailing as she fell off the chair. She squinted at them before gagging. Ginny watched Daphne sigh before heaving her over her shoulder.
"Come on, Granger. Let's get you dressed."

~~~~~~

Ron coughed as he woke up, his head pounding. He blinked the spots out of his eyes before he looked around in confusion. Why in Merlin's pants was he outside? He looked around and found Fleur curled up next to him. He quickly cast a heating charm before crawling to his feet. They must have passed out on the grass!
"Fleur!" He said hoarsely and she mumbled "You can't wear my shirt, Gabi!" in her sleep. He laughed under his breath before gently shaking her awake. She yawned before stretching her arms above her head.
"Mon amour, why are we outside?" She asked in confusion before her eyes focused on his forehead. Her shoulder's started to shake as she covered her mouth.
"Fleur? Did someone draw on my forehead?" He rubbed it before he felt something odd. He touched his left eyebrow before touching his right one. It definitely felt like he was missing something.
"I shaved off my eyebrow, didn't I?" He sighed and Fleur howled with laughter.
"Oui, chéri!" She wheezed out and Ron let his lips quirk up. He would shave off the other one, if it made her laugh like that.
"Let's go shower and then we can get some breakfast." He helped her to her feet and swayed slightly.
"Here, petit ami. I will carry you." Ron wrapped his arms around her neck and let her lift him up. He loved a strong woman. Fleur took them to the Gryffindor common room and he found Ginny huddled with Nev on the couch.
"We'll wait for you!" She called out and he spent the next twenty minutes helping Fleur wash her back. He brushed her hair before putting it in a simple braid. Ginny had gone through a phase when she was nine and had refused to wear anything other than braids. Ron became the best braider in the house for her. They managed to make it down the stairs. Daphne was dragging Herm behind her and said "Love the look, Ron!" He attempted to strike a pose but almost tripped over his feet.
"Thanks, Daph." Herm shook her head and looked around the room with bloodshot eyes.
"Let's go eat breakfast. I bet I can convince the House Elves to give me a cup of bacon grease." She was drooling as she hobbled towards the entrance.
"I would love to see Herm drink bacon grease." Neville went after her and they followed him.

~~~~~~

Draco adored his husband. Harry had finally gotten out of the tub and was wearing a pair of his old pants with a cropped top. He had white fluffy slippers on his feet as he yanked his hair into a sloppy bun.
"I'd be happy to carry you to breakfast, my love." Harry shook his head but took his hand.
"I'm going to eat so many pancakes!" Harry hissed in excitement and Draco knew he had a silly smile on his face. His heart was so cute! They waved goodbye to the random students littering the common room before making their way to the Great Hall. The rest of the HFC was seated at the Slytherin table and they joined them. Harry took one look at Ron before laughing quietly, much to the relief of everyone sitting with them.
"Looking lovely, Ron." Draco commented and Ron blew him a kiss.
"Thanks, mate!" He could feel eyes watching him and looked over to see Severus giving them all disappointed looks. He ignored him before filling Harry's plate up with food. Neville was staring at Herm and Draco looked carefully around them. Luna had done an ancient curse on the last girl who Neville had looked too long at. Turns out she had somehow gotten a toad stuck in her hair and the Gryffindor had been trying to figure out how to tell her.
"Herm is drinking bacon grease." He announced and his Vice President took a big gulp from her mug.
"It helps grow hair on your chest." She said loudly and Blaise snatched her mug before taking a sip.
"Oh, that was nasty." He coughed before taking a drink of tea.
"No hair for you." Herm said, yanking her mug back.
"That can not be good for you, Hermione." Harry said around a mouthful of pancakes. She just shrugged her shoulders before eating her porridge.
"I want everyone's hands in the circle. We are never drinking again. On three!" Ginny yelled out and everyone put their hands in. They were not in sync but everyone managed to get it out.
"Five points from each of you. Come to my office for a headache potion." Severus said from behind them and Neville was out of his seat in a second.
"I could kiss you right now, sir." His Uncle shook his head quickly.
"Please control yourself, Longbottom. I saw Miss. Lovegood collecting glass buttons the other day. I don't know why but it looked vaguely threatening." He shuddered before leaving the room, his robes swishing behind him.

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