And she was right.
I never wanted to take my ring off.
As far as I was concerned, this was mine.
And I was going to be wearing it for the rest of my life.
I knew what I felt that day; that moment he gave it to me and told me what it meant to him, it only made me that much more sure of how I felt too.
But I was surprised that Jake hadn't taken his off either, considering that this time it was his idea for us to sneak around. Part of me felt guilty, now understanding how he felt back home when it was my idea, but things were different now. I understood not wanting to hurt Josh's feelings but.. what about mine?
"How much longer until we get there?" Leah asked, reaching over for Sam, running her fingers through his hair. He smirked, peeking over at her.
"We get there when we get there. You knew what you signed up for when you agreed to come." He laughed.
"I know, but.. I thought it would be.. a little more exciting."
"Maybe one day we'll have a bus, but until then.. you're gonna have to get used to this." He laughed. She playfully shoved him, rolling her eyes.
"I'm sure you will."
Looking over I could see Jake still fast asleep, his face shoved into his pillow as he tightly squeezed it against his chest. I never thought I'd be so envious of a pillow. I slowly stretched my leg out, just enough to lean it against his when I saw his lips curl into a tired smile, but then quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep as I saw Leah turn back around again.
"See, look at them.. they can't even sleep without touching." She whispered. "Did Jake.. even mention why?" Sam was quiet for a minute, peeking back at us through the rearview mirror.
"He just said that.. it was for her own good, whatever that meant. I didn't ask questions, he didn't seem too happy, so-"
"Well, of course he didn't. He loves her more than anything." Sam was quiet again.
"Do you think I should talk to her?" She asked. I heard him sigh.
"No, I think.. that's the last thing that either of them would want to talk about."
"But I just-"
"We just need to leave them alone, Leah." She stopped, turning back around in her seat.
"It was just nice.. to finally hear a guy talk like that about someone. You never see that anymore. Especially.. someone like him."
Later That Night
As we pulled up to the venue, I couldn't help but notice just how much bigger this one was than the last.
"Is this.. normal?" I asked, leaning in close to Josh. He shrugged, smiling back down at me.
"Honestly, I have no idea, I guess this was the only venue available out here."
I couldn't imagine having to get up and perform in front of all these people. Their hometown shows were one thing, but I could only imagine once the lights went down, you wouldn't even be able to see the back of the crowd, just an endless sea of faces.
"Are you excited?" I asked as he lead me into the venue, always sure to keep his hand readily available for me if and whenever I decided to grab onto it. I hated how it felt like it was teasing me, practically begging me to hold it.
"Yeah, I.. I think so." He muttered, not sounding entirely convinced, perhaps still trying to convince himself.
"Well, you're gonna be amazing." I said, flashing him a wide grin. And I'm sure he would be. He had never been anything short of amazing, in everything he did. And tonight would be no different.
"Do you think you could help me get ready?" He asked timidly, now stopping just outside one of the dressing rooms. He leaned back against the door, holding his stare on me, as if it wasn't just me who wondered where we stood now.
"Sure." I finally said. "W-what do you need help with?" He grabbed the doorknob, leading us inside, quietly shutting the door behind us.
"Well.." He giggled, going over towards the mirror. "I'm still getting used to this new haircut, so if you could maybe help me style the back.."
"Of course." I laughed, grabbing the hairspray from the counter. He stayed quiet, watching me admiringly with a gentle smile as I continued to spray, carefully moving his hair into place.
"You're good at this." He said softly. I shrugged.
"Well, us girls have a lot of practice." His smile grew.
"You don't really do your hair though.." He said. I shrugged again.
"I really never have an occasion to.." I sighed, remembering how the last time I had gotten dressed up was Sam and Emily's wedding.
"But.. you also don't need to." He added, now avoiding my eyes. "You always look beautiful." My cheeks burned as I tried my best to contain my smile.
"Thank you."
Finally, I backed away, proud of the outcome as I finished with one last spray.
"What do you think?" I asked. His smile grew as he admired himself in the mirror. It was nice to think that even if just for a moment, he could see a fraction of what I saw every day.
"You are a woman of many talents, Jaime." He said, smirking back at me. I looked away, now suddenly aware of my bright red face when I came across something glistening across the counter.
"Come here.." I said, motioning for him to get closer. He hesitated for a moment, biting down on his lip as he moved in, now inches from me.
"What is it?" He asked, watching as I picked up the glistening pieces, holding them in my hand.
"I just think you need a little.. something." I said, leaning in close, now carefully placing them under his eyes, gradually making their way up his cheek. He stayed quiet, letting me decorate as his cheeks sparkled like the night sky.
He truly was beautiful.
After I finished, he turned back to face the mirror, admiring himself again, slowly turning, catching the light within the gemstones that made him shine like the star he truly was.
"You don't think it's too much?" He giggled, despite his excited grin. I could tell that he loved them. I shook my head, moving in closer, leaning my head on his shoulder as I stared back at our reflection.
"Not at all. You deserve to be noticed like this." He nodded again, flashing me a toothy grin.
"I'm so happy you're here, Jaime." He sighed, reaching over for me. My heart jumped at the feeling of his touch, his warm hands lightly brushing against my frigid skin.
"So am I."
"And.. I'm sorry for everything that's happened. I know-"
"We don't have to talk about it." I said, quickly cutting him off, knowing if it came down it to, I wouldn't be able to keep lying to him about Jake. He nodded, his face dropping as he held his stare on me again, as if still holding something in.
"What?" I finally asked. He shook his head, moving away as he went back over to the counter, grabbing another hand full of gems.
"Do you think we should add a little more?" He asked, turning back towards the mirror.
"Where do you want them?"
"Maybe just.. along here." He said, motioning down his chest. I could feel my heart beating faster, remembering the last time my hands made their way down his bare chest. I quickly shook the thought, taking the gemstones from his hand.
He silently watched as I carefully placed them along, careful not to let my fingers linger too long, cautious of their desire to wander. I could feel his heart beating faster as I made my way further down.
"Jaime.." He finally said. I peeked up at him to see him already staring back at me.
"Yeah?" I could sense his reluctance, wondering what could be so hard to talk about.
"I.. I know that it's still new, and.. I'm sure it's still fresh but.." He said, his voice starting to trail off. I could feel my heart racing, now starting to suspect where this might be going.
"I just.. with everything that's happened, I just want you to know that.. I can overlook it. If.. if you ever.. wanted to come back, to me, I mean. We could just.. pretend it never happened. I could do that, for you.. if.. well, if you wanted to. It wouldn't be easy, I know that.. I know how.. serious you guys were but.. for you, I.. I could forgive just about anything."
"Josh.." I sighed.
"I know, I know.. I just need you to know that.. if that was, well.. if we were ever something you wanted to try again, just know that, for me, it's not off the table. I know you can't help how you feel, and.. neither can I, and I just think that.. despite everything we go through, we were always meant to find our way back to each other so.. that's.. that's it. I'll leave it at that." He said, now turning away from me, leaning in closer to the mirror.
Not a day went by where I wasn't reminded of how good he was; far too good for me, too good for anyone. No one deserved the love, the kindness, the generosity that he had to offer. He truly was one in a million, and whoever was lucky enough to end up with him, would be loved far more than they had ever known.
"Okay.." I finally said, unsure of how else to answer him. He turned back to face me, his eyes wide.
"O-okay?"
"I mean.. t-thank you. For telling me." I muttered. He nodded, holding his stare on me before slowly making his way over to me, finally stopping just inches away from my face.
"I would never make you hide our love, Jaime." He whispered. My stomach dropped. Did he know? How could he know? There was no way he knew. "Our love.. deserves to be celebrated, and.. if I was ever lucky enough to get to call you mine again, I wouldn't waste a single day showing the world just how much I love you."
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this for him, if I had ever felt like this before. Something was different this time, something drawing me in like it had never done before, something so much stronger than merely curiosity, like magnified familiarity, overwhelming sense of safety and assurance that no one but he could ever promise me.
He moved in closer, gently leaning his forehead against mine as I felt his warm breaths against my skin, his lips just inches away from mine knowing he wouldn't push it any further, not until I did.
But I knew if he had, I wouldn't have stopped him.
"Josh.." I sighed, now slowly reaching my arms up, gently wrapping them around his neck as he simultaneously wrapped his around my waist, pulling me up against him where I was met with his radiating warmth once again, leaving my icy exterior to gradually melt within his grasp until I was a lovestruck puddle on the floor.
"Yeah?" He asked, his voice still so soft and tender, but dripping with eagerness as his eyes moved down to my lips, his now looking just as inviting as ever.
But before I could do anything, there was a knock at the door, instantly swinging open before either of us could react, my body going cold as I saw Sam standing there in the doorway, his eyes instantly bouncing back and forth between the two of us. I quickly pushed him away, leaning back against the counter as I avoided his eyes, trying my best to hide my bright red face.
"Hey, um.. we're.. we're on soon." He said, clearly just as uncomfortable as we were.
"Got it. Thanks." Josh snapped, forcing a smile, motioning him out the door. He nodded, peeking back at me one more time before backing out, shutting it behind him.
"Jaime, I think that we-"
"Y-you should go. You don't want anyone else coming back." I said. He nodded, his face dropping. He knew who I meant.
"Got it." He sighed, holding his stare on me for a moment longer before heading out into the hall.