- EDEN -
“You’re not nervous.”
Miles is trying to suss out how I was feeling about seeing Trey for the first time since we broke up, which will inevitably happen when we walk inside.
He assumes I’m as nervous as he’s apparently feeling about coming face-to-face with my ex-fiancé.
“Why would I be?” I said nonchalantly, collecting my purse from the Uber we drove down in, ready to have a night out where neither of us have to drive and can just enjoy ourselves.
It seems strange to me now that only six months ago, when I first received the wedding invitation, I was mortified about the idea of coming to this wedding and seeing Trey in person. I had desperately hoped he wouldn't accept the invite and a part of me was crushed when he said he was coming. But now, I have no fear. Not because I have my own date in Miles, but just because of me. Who I am now. The person I’ve grown into.
I know myself better. I feel more content with who that person is and how she looks and what she wears. The decisions she makes about how she’s going to live and with whom she shares her time, energy and affection. I’ve almost completely cut out of my life everything and everyone that didn’t encourage or allow me to be the best version of myself I could be, and I don't feel any shade of guilt, shame or remorse for it either.
I am that woman now. I don’t have the same anxieties I did back then. Miles, of course, has helped with a lot of that. But I’ve also done the hard work myself. I’ve been to emotional and physical hell and back making tough decisions that I know some people won’t agree with and likely never will. But I’ve allowed myself to heal with the help and respect of the people I love.
I have nothing to be nervous about here, or anywhere really. I know I am up for the challenges that lay ahead, and I’m ready for them.
“I admit, I thought you would be nervous,” said Miles carefully, folding his emerald suit jacket over his arm, looking more dapper than I’ve ever seen him. “I’m nervous, though I don’t want to be.”
I smiled at him, my total babe of a boyfriend, inside and out, perplexed at how he would feel he has anything to be worried about today. But I also know better than to assume he wouldn’t have at least some reservations. It’s only natural. He loves me. I thought I loved Trey. Seeing your partner’s ex-partner can be intimidating and nerve-wracking. If they were abusive or mistreated your partner in any way, I’m sure that would be maddening as well, not that that’s the case with Trey at all. He was the best boyfriend he knew how to be, but just not the one for me considering I now know what it’s like to have a Miles.
My knight in shining emerald armour, who steps back when I need to be brave, and steps alongside me on all my other journeys. Never ahead, which is what Trey often did unknowingly. He just thought he was doing the right thing. He never knew what Miles does: that I need to be the star of my own show, and call the shots in my own time, and need nothing more than a reassuring nod to know I can do this. Whatever this is.
“I know you don’t want to be,” I said, pulling him down to me with the black tie around his neck and kissing him slowly. “And I also know it will pass.” Another kiss, and I could feel him growing against the lower parts of my stomach, causing me to moan into his mouth and him to twitch with excitement. “Because you, Miles Bellamy, are a hot piece of ass I can’t wait to fuck later tonight.” A very audible groan, from Miles this time. “And because we both have the same faith in the life we’re crafting together.”
Miles used the hand not currently carrying his jacket to wrap his arm around my waist to my bare back. This glittery, open back, floor length black dress is one I’ve owned for years but never had the courage to actually wear in public. Miles walked into my unit to see me trying it on a few weeks back when I was figuring out what to wear to this wedding, and to say it didn’t remain on for longer than ten seconds would be an overestimation of how long it took him to peel it off me and get on his knees in front of me, his hands on my ass holding me firmly in place as he coaxed me into blissful oblivion, much like his hand on my back and his tongue in my mouth are doing now.
“You two need to get a room,” a deep voice from behind me said.
Miles withdrew his lips from mine long enough to chuckle at Wolfe’s displeasure and press another delicate kiss to my mouth and later my temple before he came to stand beside me, his suit jacket conveniently placed in front of his crotch to cover what I imagine is a pretty mighty bulge by now.
“What’s up, Brother-in-Law?” Miles greeted Wolfe warmly with his free hand. After Wolfe laid down the brotherly law of the land with Miles after finding out we were dating, which I know was quite a lengthy conversation in my very own backyard, Miles has taken to playfully referring to Wolfe as his brother-in-law. And Wolfe, despite always adoring Miles at a Mason-y bromance level, flits between both loving and loathing it equally as only an overprotective brother can.
“What’s up in my patience with your tongue down my sist---” Wolfe started, but I levelled him with a solid, unimpressed stare, one eyebrow on its way to the sky, which seemed to silence him. Or at least, got him off his current train of thought. “Eden, you look beautiful, despite the mauling I witnessed ten seconds ago...”
“Anyone actually watching would have no issue determining that I was the mauler and Miles the willing victim in that most recent scenario,” I said, laughing sadistically at Wolfe cringing. “And I plan on doing a hell of a lot more of it tonight when we go home, and all through the night, and well into the morning. And then when we wake up later, start all over again.”
He’s either trying to kill me with his stare, or he’s so mortified that he’s hoping he’ll somehow die and be saved from the imagery I just provided. Through gritted teeth, he managed to choke out, “How lovely. I hope you provide me with more details about how he’s going to continue stealing your innocence all evening.”
“Nah, mate,” grinned Miles, gripping Wolfe’s shoulder affectionately and licking his lips, which is usually his sign that he’s about to turn on the charm and talk dirty. This should be interesting. “Eden is, one hundred percent, a total dom in the bedroom... and the car... and bathroom... and kitchen table... oh, and the beach earlier this morning... It’s my innocence you should be worried about. I can barely move after she’s had her way with me.”
A very noticeable cough came from behind us, which drowned out Wolfe’s miserable groan some but not anywhere near enough that I didn’t know completely how much Miles had traumatised him.
It was Luna who alerted me to the fact it was my ex-fiancé who’d made the very ill-timed coughing noise. “Hi, Trey. Nice to see you,” she said politely, extending her hand out to shake his hand. I don’t think I can remember her ever hugging Trey. She hugs and even kisses Miles on each cheek every single time she sees him, just like she does Mason. Sometimes more than once throughout the course of their time together. “You remember my crybaby partner, Wolfe?”
Trey let go of Luna’s hand to shake Wolfe’s instead, before finally looking at me and catching my eye.
I honestly hadn’t given much thought to what I would think or feel when I saw Trey today. As Miles just said, I’ve been kind of preoccupied of late making love to my boyfriend alongside everything else. Working at Moonlight. Babysitting Piper and River. Planning Nella’s baby shower and helping Luna and Wolfe with their wedding plans.
Constant joy. Constant life. And Trey isn’t a part of that anymore, despite the fact he’s standing directly in front of me right now, reaching towards me for a hug which I don’t think I really expected. I hadn’t thought to give him one when I saw him, but I appreciate the gesture and I’m happy to return it. He was a big part of my life for a long time, and it would be strange not to I suppose.
“Good to see you, Trey,” I said, wrapping my arms around his back while feeling not even a twinge of desire or jealousy when I looked at his date standing awkwardly behind him. I recognise her from his work. She used to linger about flirting with him on the odd occasions when I’d tag along to the pub with his work friends, but I don't remember her name. I do remember it used to make my blood boil at the time whenever she'd touch his arm gently or swing her long red hair behind her ears. But right now, I simply don't care about any of that, and I actually don't feel any satisfaction from the vindicating proof that I knew she was into Trey this whole time.
I just hate that she looks uncomfortable, mostly because I’d hate for Miles to be feeling the same watching Trey hug me now. I don’t think he would. We’ve spoken about my past with Trey---how it started, how it ended, and everything else in between.
It’s strange. Despite me only knowing Miles this past year, and dating for the past five months, I feel like he knows more about me than I ever shared with Trey. He asks me questions all the time. He wants to know why I think certain things, how I’ll feel in different situations, what I want and how he might be able to help me to get it if I can’t on my own. He knows me front to back, top to tail, just like I do him. We don’t have secrets. Sometimes we might not like what’s being shared, but we listen and we talk it through and find a way for it all to be okay together. We respect what we each have to say and always make sure the other gets the opportunity to share it, even when it hurts to hear. It doesn’t happen often, but we aren’t afraid of it when it does because we know we’re in this together.
It’s the partnership I never thought I’d have. The one I craved whenever I looked at Luna and Wolfe or Nella and Mason.
I let go of Trey and smiled at him, beckoning over his date and holding out my hand, presuming a hug would be a little too much considering how unsettled she already was. “I’m Eden, and these are my friends Luna and Wolfe, their baby River, and my partner Miles,” I said, gesturing to each of the people mentioned and making sure to throw a wink and a kiss at Miles when I caught his eye, looking every bit as calm as I’d hoped he’d be in this moment meeting Trey. A little bashful perhaps considering what I’m sure Trey and his partner just overheard about our sex life, but still my cool and ever collected Miles. “This is Trey and... ?”
“Jordyn,” she said, taking my hand and breathing out a long breath which I’m sure the poor thing has been holding onto for a while. She’s admittedly at a bit of a disadvantage here with all my friends. I’m sure I’d have been a lot more worried if the situation were reversed, not that any of Trey’s friends ever cared enough about me to still keep in touch and invite me to their weddings, no that I would willingly go.
“Lovely to meet you, Jordyn,” I said with a smile before turning back to Miles and watching him warmly greeting Trey.
With the two standing next to each other, they couldn’t look more different. I doubt anyone from the outside looking in would have guessed that both of these handsome men in their own rights would have been my type at different points in my life. Trey is tall, slim but fit, rather pale, clean shaven, with shoulder length blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Miles is a pretty average height while remaining a half a head taller than me, short dark hair and dark green eyes, bushy eyebrows which I like to make fun of and pluck with my tweezers---which he lets me do, even though it hurts---and a couple days of short stubble all over his face---groomed by yours truly, much to Heath’s dismay---tan for all the time he spends walking in the sunshine topless---which I will never complain about---heavily tattooed and built as well as you’d expect a gym owner and personal trainer to be.
I never thought to compare them until now when they’re right in front of me. I feel like it would do both of them a disservice in one way or another to do so, so I’ve actively avoided it at all costs. But I’m undoubtedly doing it now, and I’m honestly a little blown away at how I ever found myself attracted to Trey. Not when I know what it feels to be attracted to Miles like I am now, heat between my legs while I’m gawking at my man and grateful he’s as humble as he is, making small talk with Trey not long after telling me he was nervous about meeting him.
You wouldn't tell it by looking at him. He's as charming and witty and generous with his time towards Trey and Jordyn all evening in between dancing with me, greeting some of my old school friends who he's never met before, collecting everyone drinks from the bar, ensuring a very pregnant Nella always had a hand up from her seat when she needed to get up to pee, and cuddling River who he just absolutely adores.
I lost sight of him for a while when I went to grab some water from the open bar, having had a few Japanese Slippers already and needing to balance out my liquids a little so I could keep on dancing through the night; and was met at the edge of the room where I was slowly drinking it by Trey.
"You look so happy, Eden," he said, taking a swig of his own beer. "Much closer to the version of you I remember falling in love with when I first came to Byron Bay on that holiday with the boys."
I'm a much different person since then, but I understand what he means. He hadn't seen this joyful version of me for a long time towards the end of our relationship, because she was as lost to me as she was him. Miles and all my friends have been the ones to help me find her again.
"Miles seems like a nice guy," he persisted cautiously, I assume not wanting to be seen as prying. But I've got nothing to hide. I'd scream it from every rooftop I could that I fall more in love with Miles by the day, especially today with how gallant and sweet he's being with everyone, including Trey. "You've been dating for a while?"
I just smiled, thinking about how lucky I am to be able to answer that question with a 'yes,' and finally spying the man in question dragging Jordyn to the dancefloor when he saw her sitting alone at their table without Trey. I just love him so much.
"I'm glad you're doing well, Eden. You deserve it," he said, kissing me on the cheek before he went to join his girlfriend on the dancefloor with Miles, Mason, Nella and Luna.
I capitalised on everyone being occupied to duck into the ladies to touch up my crimson red lipstick, emerging to find Wolfe pacing up and down the hallway with River, trying to get him back to sleep.
"How's my favourite man doing?" I asked Wolfe, looking down at River's barely open eyes.
"I'm doing just fine, thank you," he joked smugly. "You having a good night? Doing okay with Trey and Miles here together?"
"Surprisingly, I'm perfectly okay," I said, taking in a deep breath of air to really appreciate that I am, indeed, okay.
"You shouldn't be surprised, Edes. You've come a long way," he said, his complete and total faith and confidence in me never wavering.
"Why didn't you tell me about Miles?" I asked Wolfe.
"Tell you what?" he replied, apparently not knowing what I meant, which I'm not quite buying.
"You, brother, watched me go on endless dates with a bunch of losers, date someone I know now you hated, and yet you knew all along that Miles was amazing and into me."
"Ah, yes," Wolfe said, sounding somewhat guilty. He repositioned River against his chest a little and continued rocking him gently back to sleep. The loudness of a wedding doesn't really bode well for a teething kid.
"Well, Edes. You needed to figure out how you felt about him on your own, in your own time, when it was right for you both. Miles was keen, that much was clear; as were you if the way you basically eye-fucked him every time he walked in the gym was anything to go by." He lowered his voice and looked down at River when he got to the 'eye fucking' part, apparently not wanting those to be his first words. "But you still needed some healing. You needed to find your feet again up here and re-establish your confidence. You needed to shed all the doubt and lingering sadness from Trey, and to remember that happily ever afters aren't always easy to find. They hurt and they're hard, but they happen when they need to. Not when you think you need them to.
"Edes, you needed to sow some oats, so to speak. You needed to know you were a gorgeous human and that other people thought so too because you'd forgotten. You needed to come alive again before you could actually enjoy life with another person in the way you are now with Miles. And you needed to do that on your own and in your own time. That was your journey to take, and now look at you: the second brightest woman in this room given Lune’s namesake awards her a natural glowing advantage," he winked at me and reached for my hand. "And you should be so proud. I know I am."
Waterproof mascara, do your magic please.
I am proud. And I'm so proud every day to be with Miles. The physically painful hurdles, and the emotionally draining pits of Austin-related misery were all worth it in the end because they paved the way and ultimately led me to Miles.
“Go on and dance with your man, you drunk goon,” Wolfe said with a smile, wiping away my rogue tears.
“In a locked bathroom? Naked?” I grinned and teased him, backtracking on my heels with a little sway of the hips and wave of my arms, not entirely joking because I want Miles so badly. He has moves on a dancefloor, and they do things to me. They’ve been doing things to me all night.
Wolfe, lowering his protective defences, just chuckled knowingly and shook his head, finally resigned to the fact he will never win this battle he’s having with himself over his own outdated, overprotective, male bravado. “I mean, if you’re going to do it,” he said, looking over his shoulder and down the hall. “I’d advise the baby change one down and to the right because it naturally has more room, Riv is the only baby here and I just changed him so he won’t need another for a while, and it has a decent sink and benchtop height that might work for his short ass,” he joked.
I could lie and say I didn’t turn on my heels immediately to go find Miles to drag him into the bathroom; but I did, and I’m not ashamed about it. But I did stop after a couple steps and turned back to Wolfe laughing at me. “You sure Riv is good and you won’t need it soon? I plan on keeping it occupied for a minute or two...”
“Jesus, Edes. What is it about you and Miles’ dick? You’re obsessed. I’ve seen it in the showers at the gym. It’s not that great.”
I gasped, not even needing to feign genuine insult on my boyfriend's behalf. “Truthfully, it’s not just his gorgeous, amazing dick, which it absolutely is despite your attempts to understate its magnificence,” I smirked, knowing how much Wolfe must hate to hear it. I meant it too---he has a really nice dick. “It’s what he does with it, and also what he can do with his hands, and mouth, and---”
“Eden, come on! I don’t need to hear this.”
“Oh, please. You and Luna are just as bad, if not worse,” I said, hands on my hips to really emphasise my point.
“I know we are,” Wolfe winked and beamed at me proudly. “How do you think I know about the bathroom bench height?”
I was still doubled over laughing when Miles found me in the hallway with Wolfe and River a full minute later. “There you are,” he said, pulling me upright with his hand, only to spin and dip me back down over his arm. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. What are you guys doing out here?”
“Discussing the pros and cons of the locked rooms in this facility for you to go defile my sister in,” said Wolfe, but without the discomfort he usually has when complaining of my sex life with Miles.
“Oh, really? Did you find any good ones?” Miles joked, pulling me up to stand flush against him, the ridges of his ribs and abs pressing against my waist deliciously. He kissed me on the temple sweetly, perhaps not actually believing that this was what Wolfe and I were really talking about.
“Baby change down the hall,” Wolfe smiled at Miles, reaching out to grip him in a strong but tender hug that looked a lot like resigned acceptance before he walked away back to the party with River. “Have fun, children.”
Miles turned to me and pulled me into his arms. “That wasn’t actually what you were talking about, was it?” I nodded, hoping he was as up for it as I was. “And that hug just now was, what? Approval?” I shrugged, having absolutely no idea what it was. “Have we finally worn the prudish, old man down?” Miles laughed.
“For today at least,” I said, pulling Miles’ face towards me by his tie, inch by inch. He closed the gap between us before I had a chance to myself, slowly but confidently coaxing my tongue out to dance with his before briefly coming up for air. “What do you think?”
“About us making sweet, sweet love in a room dedicated to changing babies’ shitty nappies and breastfeeding?”
I laughed at his description as I pressed my own breasts into his chest, his eyes lighting up at the feel and sight of them against his body, and moved slowly to kiss his neck, which is his personal kryptonite and therefore a sexual strategy I use regularly.
I pulled my head back to observe his face as he made his decision, and was caught completely unawares when he suddenly crouched down to scoop me up and over his shoulder, slapping my glittery black ass as he turned on his heel towards the direction of the baby change without another second's hesitation.
Wolfe was right.
The bench was just the right height.