- MILES -
I somehow ended up partnering with Eden this morning and it was wildly uncomfortable for me.
I think it came about because Wolfe had sprung up a conversation with one of the other guys before Eden arrived a little late, and when Grayson joined them in discussing and coaching them on a particular technique they were then practising on each other, they just carried on. Wolfe very sweetly checked with Eden that it was okay, and she stared at him flatly as if there was no need at all to ask. Since partnering with Grayson the other week, she’s actually seemed a lot more confident and comfortable working with people other than Wolfe in classes, like she’s finally overcome any self-consciousness hurdles she previously had in place and was just diving in, loving boxing as much as I guess we all do.
Today was my turn, and I loved and hated it in equal measure.
“You’re holding back, Miles,” Eden said, seeming annoyed that I would be doing so. I’m not able to unleash on her like I would one of the other guys. I’m not that much of an asshole, and I think it’s programmed into my brain to ease off to avoid hurting her. Apparently she isn’t impressed by my attempts at chivalry.
“Yes, and no matter how much you frustratedly scrunch up your nose, or squint and stare me down for it, you can’t convince me to do otherwise,” I said definitively, not having any idea how Wolfe feels at all comfortable with the amount of force he now uses when working out with Eden.
“You’re worse than Wolfe was in the beginning.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I feel somewhat uncomfortable with hitting a woman. Especially a friend,” I said, knowing within half a second that I had put my foot in it when her eyes narrowed even more on me and she dropped her arms.
“You think I can’t take it because I’m a woman?”
I have a feeling I’m destined to lose out whichever way I answer this one. “I feel like if I say yes, then you’ll think I’m some kind of misogynistic scumbag who inherently believes that women are weaker than men, and if I say no, then you won’t believe me anyway. So, I plead the fifth,” I smirked at her as she crossed her arms at me, uncomfortably trying to manoeuvre the pads through the knot she was making with her arms, and knocking her boobs about in the process. It was hilarious, and hot as hell.
“Miles, I can take it,” she insisted, seeming determined to make me believe her, tightening the grip she had across her chest, which just made her boobs pop out over her top even more, which I became aware that she noticed when her arms immediately unfolded and she sent a jab into my stomach. “Perve.”
She didn’t look annoyed at me. In fact, she actually seemed a mix of flustered and entertained, and when I shrugged and held out my arms with a ‘can you blame me?’ expression, she blushed and started giggling, doubling down on her little punches to my stomach which I managed to fend off by skirting around her and wrapping my arms around her waist to pin her arms by her side.
“I see you are both following my expert instruction to the letter then,” said Grayson slyly, looking only slightly annoyed by the disruption to his class that Eden’s delighted squeals were causing. More than anything he looked entertained and impressed that I had seemingly finally cracked open the friendzone I’ve existed in with Eden, and clasped my shoulder in encouragement.
“He started it,” Eden said petulantly, brushing herself out of my grip on her with one final sneaky, backwards hit on me, slightly lower than the others had been, which naturally resulted in me wide eyed, wincing and clutching at my groin in pain.
Eden looked mortified, as did Wolfe when he sauntered over curiously to investigate. “What’s going on?”
I took an unnaturally long and deep intake of air to centre myself before replying because apparently Eden wasn’t going to offer up an explanation to her brother.
“Just an unfortunate hit is all,” I minimised, trying not to show how much pain I was in.
“I see,” Wolfe said, scrutinising both Eden and my expressions to see whether there was anything more to it. “You alright?” he asked me, seeming both genuinely and neurotically concerned.
“Yeah,” I said, brushing him off and hitting the gloves together in front of me, pretending I wasn’t wanting to just keel over and writhe in pain. “Back to it,” I said, turning back to Eden who was still looking incredibly apologetic.
Wolfe headed reluctantly back to his side of the room and his partner waiting for him, and I refocussed back on Eden.
“Are you sure you’re good?” she winced, clearly feeling bad. I nodded and brought my arms back up to my chin, trying my best to ignore the pain, and it kind of worked. Or maybe we were just so focussed on avoiding it that it left no room to think or talk about it anymore.
Wolfe rejoined Eden at I at the end of the class, jokingly asking whether I was still intact and functional before running off to the showers, apparently in a rush to leave and I think wanting to touch base and read the dynamic between Eden and I after what happened, but neither of us were giving him the insight he wanted.
“Alright, gotta bounce. We have a birthing class. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it. I’m told it involves a video…” Wolfe said, gathering his bag and looking between us like he was trying to refrain from gagging, and honestly, I’d probably be right there with him. I remember the one we had to watch in Sex Ed as teenagers, which was enough to put anyone off having unprotected sex for the rest of time. I was probably also still a little nauseous from the ball hit earlier. “Wish me luck.”
Eden laughed at him as he messed up her hair while she was on the floor stretching before turning to leave.
“Sounds like he and Luna are in for a fun morning then,” I said, chuckling at Eden’s very visible revulsion at the idea of watching a birth video. “What’s on the cards for you?”
“Nothing much,” Eden said, shifting her stretch. “Just work and then meeting with my friend Nella afterwards for dinner to work on baby shower plans for Luna. Who knew there were so many different baby shower games?”
I laughed, not having any clue what kinds of games she could be referring to. All I can think of are like bachelorette party games, and I imagine most of those involve alcohol and nudity, which wouldn’t really be appropriate for a baby shower. “I’ll take your word for it,” I said, wondering whether today is the day that I finally have the balls to ask her out for a drink. After the little play fight incident earlier this morning, I’m feeling empowered that she might not say no if I did?
“Sorry about before,” I said as I reached down to help her to her feet. She looked at me like she didn’t know what I meant. “I don’t think you’re weak.”
“You’d better not,” Eden said, pinkness spreading into her cheeks once again. “And I’m sorry too, you know, for the accidental groin shot…”
“The joys of being a man,” I joked. Unanticipated ball hits are probably one of the only drawbacks to having a dick. That and impulsive boners. The rest is pretty swell. “Wolfe got me once like a year ago with a mistimed kick once and that was a lot worse.”
“Still doesn’t compare to period cramps,” she said, the corner of her lip curling upwards as if she was trying to make me uncomfortable talking about periods, but I’ve had enough girlfriends by now to know menstruation is no joke.
“I have heard that,” I said, knowing better than to enter into this debate, and wanting to make the most of this opportunity while Wolfe isn't here and she’s being so playful with me to ask her out. "So, I know now you obviously have plans for tonight, but I was wondering whether you'd be interested in heading out another night this week and grabbing one of those Chinese Stilettos with me? Or was it Taiwanese Pumps? Filipino Ballet Flats?" I asked, relieved as fuck when she snorted her amusement at my joke which I had crafted and rehearsed in my head so many times, not wanting to miss an easy opportunity to try to elicit one of those magical laughs that jolt my heart out of rhythm.
I know the cocktail she had the other week was a Japanese Slipper. I'd committed it to memory and actually headed out to the bottle shop a few days after the bar to grab the ingredients so I could begin practising how to make them for if ever I could convince her to come back to my place for a drink. They're actually so good. I even bought myself some stupid martini glasses and a proper shaker and everything.
When she was finally able to stop laughing, which took a while considering every time she managed to stop and wiped away her amused tears, she looked at me proudly smirking at her and started all over again. She actually had to deliberately look away from me for a solid thirty seconds before she was composed enough to turn back, and when she did, her expression had changed completely and she looked almost as disappointed as I felt.
“So, I’ve um... actually just started seeing someone,” she grimaced, about as earnest a look of apology on her face as ever I've seen. Even more so than the one before when she tapped my balls.
“Oh,” I said awkwardly, barely believing my luck in being beaten to the punch. This is what comes from being a spineless coward and waiting too long to ask a woman out. “I’m so sorry, Eden. I just assumed you were… Given the other week? Actually, just… nevermind. I’m sorry for asking,” I said, stumbling over my words amidst my supreme embarrassment. Not to be a cocky bastard, but I think she may actually be the first woman I’ve asked out who's said no.
"Please don't be," she said sympathetically, like it actually pained her to be saying this to me as much as it pained me to be hearing it.
I had thought, seeing as it was only a couple weeks ago that I saw her out on a shitty date that she wouldn't have had enough of an opportunity to start dating someone for real. But that's my own fault for not fully appreciating how much of a total catch she is and how obviously coveted she is by the rest of the male population that apparently are a lot more brazen and forward in their advances than me.
I should have said something to her sooner. I should have just sucked it up and spoken to Wolfe man-to-man to let him know I was going to be asking Eden out. Actually fuck that. I don’t need his permission. She's her own woman. I should have just talked to Eden earlier.
"I'm really sorry, Miles," Eden persisted, seeming like she was trying her best to temper my obvious disappointment, and maybe even some of her own.
Unless I've been reading into things too much, she likes me. Her eyes flare when she looks at me and our eyes meet, she'll often flit her gaze between said eyes and my mouth as if she wants to kiss me, she finds opportunities to joke and laugh and touch some part of me while doing so as much as I do the same with her, like it's the most natural and effortless thing in the world to be near each other and feel completely at ease.
That's what she does. What she is. The most comforting, secure presence and influence in my life. She makes me want to be more myself than ever.
I wonder if he feels the same. Whoever he is.
I've never been one to dislike a person I've never met before, and it's easier to stick to that line than acknowledge that I am jealous as fuck. Hulk-like greener than ever with envy, and I'm ashamed for it because I have no one to blame but myself here.
"No, Eden. I'm sorry," I said, reaching down to pick up my bag before my inevitable retreat, and plastering on what I hope looked a lot more like a genuine smile on the outside than it felt on the inside. "Pretend I didn't say anything?"
Eden looked at me curiously. "Is that what you want?" she said quietly, feeling almost like a challenge. A test to see if I would not be a coward and actually say what I meant instead of what is polite and proper in a situation such as this. Where I've finally asked my friend---a woman I fucking respect and adore---out for a drink too late after she started seeing someone else. "To forget?"
No, Eden. I don't want you to forget. I want you to remember and change your mind about him and go out with me instead. But I won't be the one to twist your arm into it. If you feel anything near to what I do for you, I want you to make that decision on your own because it's what you want. Because you want to figure out if there's something real between us as much as I do. And I can wait for that.
"I'm happy for you," is what I actually said, holding my arms out for a hug, and reestablishing myself as the simple mate I am and have to be... for now.