Ivory – xxviii ; Amidst The Flowers, Smells The Sea
Created: 08.10.22
Finished: 08.19.22
Edited: 10.11.22 / 11.06.22
Published: 11.06.22
___________________
Trigger Warning: vague mention of sewerslide, dissociation, not much trigger warning today I dont think wooh-
Word Count: 2857
A/N: You guys saw nothing. Since I messed something up, I'll just publish this early instead of tomorrow grr- Class returns tomorrow, so hopefully that won't disrupt the progress in finishing this. Even had a writer's block writing a chapter about Tommy's encounter with Wilbur oop- and I wish I could just stay in break forever, I'm tired. I guess we all are when you think about itXD Hope you guys surviving..fighting!-
______________________________________________
___________________
"Hey, Tommy..wanna go outside? You haven't been out in days."
The two are by the den on a simple fine morning..The house is warm but at the same time, a bit gloomy. While Michael is entertaining himself with blocks and his bee plushie, Tommy is beside him, watching him play.
Tubbo has been reading what Phil left to him, surprisingly it was a long read..full of entries and info about what he should do in order to help recovering Tommy. It's almost overwhelming, and at the same time, he finds it lucky that he wasn't there to witness it all.
Observing the writing style, it's full of tension, stress...He couldn't even finish reading the book for one day with how much information it has, unfathomable information.
He gets up, and leans close to the two of them, "Why don't we all get some fresh air yea? I get that you two need to stay home at all times, but a day going outside wouldn't hurt. Would you like that, Michael?" The piglin snorts happily, getting up with glee. Tommy only looks at Tubbo and blinks.
That's it.
For the past few days, Tommy has been trying to improve his coordination, writing and communication once more. He has been struggling less, as long as he won't get flashbacks or gets triggered
Any sight of sharp objects, surprising him, hell just touching him..it can upset him. Sometimes he's a mess at night, thrashing from the nightmares..to the point that he's willing to not sleep. It's no wonder his eyebags remain on his pale complexion.
His body hasn't changed much either, eating and drinking is still a troubling feat. Tubbo could at least tell he's trying..in some way.
oOo (u found a Todd:D)
"There you go..you can remove it if you feel hot on it.." His friend murmurs, readjusting Tommy's blue coat wrapped around him.
Tommy only stares at him while he's being fussed about, mind blank.
Michael has been waiting at the front door, jumping up and down with his squishmallow tight. One can tell he's excited, far too excited..a kid deprived of the outside world,
"You'll be fine right? We're just going to the valley to chill." His face creases in worry, but Tommy brushes that off by petting Tubbo's hair. He doesn't look so great in return.
"Thanks, bossman.." He murmurs before wrapping the worn green scarf around him. Tommy looks down to stare at it, eyes widened, "Oh sorry- Do you want it off?- It's okay- Whatever makes you-"
The other shakes his head and signs, 'it's okay' at him. Tubbo sighs in relief and ties a knot.
They're all good to go.
"Michael stay close to me now-!" Tubbo yells the moment he notices his little son getting off course. Now, the child defies his father's orders and more on gets close to any pretty thing he sees, unlike Tommy.
The mute only looks around, he seems disinterested to his surroundings and would rather go home, Tubbo worries about that, "Are you okay? We can go back if it's too much."
Tommy shakes his head, and signs a few words to reassure his friend. So, Tubbo lets it go and leads the two away from the server and towards the valley he's been talking about. It's not that far, and besides, the walking was worth it.
The valley is filled with flowers of all kinds, making the greens superfluous full of colourful wildflowers in different shades of hue.
Michael looks like he finds this place familiar so he dashes towards it and immediately plops himself down to a random flower bed.
Tommy wanders the view, his eyes could almost water at the sight. The other only laughs and drags him closer to it.
His grip is cold..Is he nervous?
Resting over a patch of dandelions and poppies, Tubbo sighs exasperatedly, tired of the day's journey.
The two didn't seem as exhausted as him, so the child started to pick random flowers; whichever was the prettiest of them all.
Tommy eventually plucks a random cornflower, finding it familiar, but unable to grasp which memory he's trying to recall. He's still struggling with that, and it has been annoying.
His eyes dart back to Tubbo and cocks his head when he notices his friend is holding a book and reading its contents. His curiosity led him in asking what book this could be,
"Oh, something Phil gave me. I don't think it's a good idea for you to know what it's all about." That made Tommy cross his arms and purse his chapped lips in the slightest, attempting to narrow his eyes too.
His grey ones stare back at Tubbo's blue ones, he gave in, "It's just about the things Phil wrote while he was taking care of you. The things that happened, information I should know in taking care of you, so I won't fuck up and you won't get hurt."
Tommy nods and pets his head before panning his attention to something else. At least he didn't push, thank the gods. Tubbo sighs and continues reading.
Techno showed Tommy around the changes of the cabin. He seemed excited seeing all the animals, fond of them now. Therapy is going well, it seems that as long as he won't get triggered, his symptoms won't be severe. So if possible, trigger him little to never. Better to prevent than solve the issue, especially for Tommy's sake. It hurts to see him in any pain more than he has already been through.
Tubbo bites his lower lip before flicking a few pages. Some entries were lighthearted, and some were..upsetting to read. Especially his suicide.
Kristin saved him because dying by your own hands defies any rules including being revived. I couldn't save him, I owe everything to her. But Tommy didn't recover much from it, it's almost painful. The things we worked hard on, we had to start over. He forgot how to walk again, to communicate to us, the things he did for the past few days. Techno didn't take it well and distracted himself so he won't get too affected by it. But we know well it hurts to be forgotten. Tommy seems to be in great pain, but unable to say anything. It's like he couldn't, or shouldn't. There are things he's hiding, and if he couldn't say them, then Dream could. That bastard, I will make him taste his own medicine. In time, he shall pay.
'Lesson learned: never mess with Dadza.' Tubbo chuckles at his own joke before raising his head up to check what the two have been up to.
Michael places a flower crown brimmed with dandelions, daisies and a few chamomiles too. Tommy looks..less tense now, his shoulders now lowered but his hand remains on holding that cornflower.
Tubbo didn't really think much of it and enjoys the solitude he has with the two, it feels good..peaceful.
The piglin comes up at his father, another flower crown on his little totters. Beaming softly, Tubbo pulls him closer, cuddling him, "What'd you got for me, little man?"
Michael squeaks, removing his grip from him and tiptoes himself up to reach Tubbo's head. The flower crown's filled with alliums and chamomiles.
Tubbo couldn't help but to feel bittersweet from that, "Thanks, Michael..it looks lovely. Care to fetch papa his favourite? You know my favourite, don't you?"
Pondering, he jumps off and runs somewhere to find it. Tubbo couldn't help but to laugh, feeling warm and happy. Tommy looks at him and lifts his lips a bit, one could at least hope it's a smile, and Tubbo smiles back too,
"Are you having fun, bigman?" He asks, as to which Tommy nods and looks away, pulling off a fist of grass. He's responsive now, that's great, "The flower crown looks good on you. Do you like it?"
The other nods once more, before giving Tubbo a cornflower, his eyes are wide as usual, staring at Tubbo, straight at his soul almost,
"Wai- That's uhh- That's a cornflower..It looks nice..Huh..there are barely much cornflowers around here.." He admits, inspecting the plant.
Blue isn't something so common in nature, particularly to flowers, so this shade of blue is far too rare. He can't help but be impressed by it, "Thank you, Tommy..Although.."
He gets closer and pins the flower at Tommy's ear, "I think it looks better on you, king."
The eburnean one blinks and signs 'shut up' at him. Tubbo could only cackle, glad that his humour is somewhere in there.
He's actually enjoying. This is great. Hopefully, nothing will ruin this today. Nothing. Please.
"Oooh, sounds like you're having fun!" Of course. Of. Fucking. Course.
Michael runs back across the field, being tailed by someone who's painfully familiar.
A ghost, with a black and white form, floating along with his son. When Tommy blinks in confusion, Tubbo swallows a bile in disgust, anxiety.
Last time they interacted, they were still in Snowchester. It's been days ago, where the hell has the ghost been since then?
"Hello, everyone!" Ghostboo greets lively, twirling around the crowd. Tubbo's face only sours and looks away. He fears if he would say anything, he'd throw up - he already feels sick at the sight.
Michael, on the other hand, greets back with a chortle as the ghost picks him up, happily, "Hello, Michael..you are looking well."
The kid hands Ghostboo a handful of tulips, full of different colours, "Ooh, Tubbo loves those so much. Did you get those for him?" Michael nods before making himself get down to hand Tubbo the flowers.
The goat kid only smiles, pulling the flowers close to his heart, "Thank you, Michael.."
He takes one shot of look at Ghostboo before getting up, "Oh well, it's time for us to go-"
"It wouldn't hurt to stay around a few more hours." The ghost interrupts, getting close to Tubbo, right in his front, "I don't think you have been letting Michael out rather often..as well as Tommy. They need to have a feel around here too-"
"And it's quite enough for one day. I'm taking the two home. It's risky to stay outside when he's on the loose anyway." He picks up Michael with his scarred, calloused grip.
Although the piglin was complaining; squirming and whining, he tolerated it before eyeing Tommy, "Tommy, let's go home."
He didn't budge. Him not following or responding is nothing new, so he tried again, "Tommy..we need to go-" He keeps Michael on one hand, and the other tugging Tommy's coat.
Eventually, he stares back at Tubbo and lifts both his hands, 'I'll go home later.'
Blinking in surprise, the other tugs his coat harder, "Are you sure? No, it's not safe for you to stay out here-"
"Oh he'll be fine, he's with me." Ghostboo cuts off his words once more, floating close around Tommy.
Tubbo could only glare at the sight, "If anything happens, you can't protect him."
"You don't know what I could do. You never do." The ghost grins widely, this does not comfort him, but unsettle him.
He's right, he doesn't know.
He never did.
Despite all that, Tubbo grabs Tommy by the wrist yet of course Tommy stays still, "Tommy please..I don't want to lose you." He eventually admits, his eyebrows furrowing.
Michael only frowns, wondering what's going on, 'Go home, Tubbo. I will soon. Trust me, Tubbo.'
Slowly, he lets go of him, readying himself for any consequences that might happen due to his choices, "I trust you, Tommy." Tubbo murmurs but as for Ghostboo, he hisses, "But I don't trust you." before leaving entirely.
Michael gets up on Tubbo's shoulder so he could wave goodbye, Ghostboo waves off wildly, a huge grin on his face. Tommy only stares, the flower crown weighing his head.
oOo (another Todd, good job^^)
"Why did you stay? It's dangerous for you to be out here." The two wander around the rest of the valley.
Other than toppling over, Tommy no longer has these effects where his body just cuts off and dies for a moment, making him fall.
His unresponsiveness remains a problem though, 'I don't know.' He signs, his eyes down on the patches of lilies around.
Ghostboo blinks, but smiles anyway, "Seems fair, I appreciate it either way. I am rather lonely nowadays."
Tommy looks up at him, 'Why?' he asks, Ghostboo could only shrug, "At the cabin, I feel like I'm constantly talked over, at Snowchester I'm not..appreciated. I had a new friend, but I guess I have to lose them too. I don't think they should be involved with what's going on."
Tommy stops his tracks, a few memories are seeping back in. He isn't sure if he's going to get affected badly about this, but they let them through anyway, 'What happened to you?' If only he could say it out loud.
The ghost stops too and stares at Tommy with a lamenting smile, "A lot. You missed a lot of things."
He was willing to listen, and so he spoke, "Ranboo was a complicated person, kindness at best and worst. People exploited it left and right, and couldn't decide on his own. I personally find him stupid, what he believes would be his downfall.
"He then started to experience things, things that could get him in trouble, but unable to recall what happened. Someone used that to mess with people. Blowing things up, killing someone, giving off information.
"Ranboo was a bad guy without even remembering it happening. But I do, I clearly do. He was sent to the prison for his crimes, used as a hostage during the breakout of prisoners, and he..Sam killed me." He clutches the scar on his wound, red and green blood intertwining.
Tommy only blinks, his hand raising and plunges it through Ghostboo's body, and yes, it went through. He is truly dead, wait..hadn't he known this information before?
"It's okay, I'll come back eventually. As a new person, without Ranboo being such a bother. Things would actually be great, and happy, and I'd finally be happy."
He cheers at the thought, passing through Tommy and floating around, "Maybe you'd figure out how to be happy too. Like me, you're kinda stuck too. You'll figure it out."
Figure it out? How? It's all so confusing. Dying. Living. Surviving. What does it mean to live happily?
Something smells.
It wasn't a terrible smell, but it's certainly something that doesn't belong here.
It could almost make him sick.
It's salty, it hurts his nose, "Tommy? Are you alright woa-"
Luckily, he got hold of him passing out, plopping him down on the grass, his worry setting in, "Tommy? Are you there? Can you hear me?"
His voice is ringing, fading, it feels so far away. Tommy's eyes are set to look upon the sky.
Eventually the colours that were once blue have turned grey, is it about to storm?
He isn't sure, but soon he no longer feels the ground and now floating..in an endless void.
Is he back here again?
Did he die?
Soon, it's no longer Ghostboo's voice he's hearing but someone else.
A faint cry, and every time he hears its noises, he could feel himself moving, his body swaying at the intensity, like..is he on some water?
A sea?
An ocean?
What's going on?
Every cry is like a wave, leading him somewhere, his eyes remain on the skies, unable to move.
Where is he?
Another flashback?
A dream?
Whatever it is, he has a feeling he won't be able to remember all of this. Of course.
It's getting closer..and closer and closer until bonk-
He hit his head against something.
A dirt? Something hard, at the same time mushed but compacted, whatever that is, it hu-
"Wh- What was that?.." That voice, it sounds hoarse, dry, but it must be Ghostboo!
Where is he? He could help him get out of this episode.
Something feels wrong though.
There is a movement, footsteps, fuck, if it's not that creepy ghost then he doesn't know what.
Hopefully it's not a scary monster or something,
"T-Tommy? Tommy! How- How are you here?!-"
Crack.
His eyes open and sees someone. It looks like Ghostboo, at the same time, no.
He looks paler and skinnier, his eyes are dimming, his cheeks full of scars and his body is fading. His chest, it's dripping out blood; a mixture of colours due to his hybridity. It's..Ranboo?
He's not supposed to be here, is he?-
"Tommy! Tommy get back to me-" He gasps, awake..clenching his fists so he ensures he's no longer in the grey water anymore, destroying a spot of grass and dirt.
That place..It felt so gloomy, miserable, alone.
What caused him to feel that way again?
"Thank goodness you're okay. Tubbo will kill me if I killed you or something-"
'What just happened? I'm not-'
"I should take you home now. I think today took you a hit..You look terrible."
.
.
.
He could only give a tiny nod.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
⊑⟒⊬. ⎍⋔. ⟟ ⏁⊑⟟⋏☍ ⟟'⋔ ☌⍜⟟⋏☌ ☊⍀⏃⋉⊬ ⏃☌⏃⟟⋏. ⟟ ⟊⎍⌇⏁ ⌇⏃⍙ ⏁⍜⋔⋔⊬ ⎎⍜⍀ ⌇⍜⋔⟒ ⍀⟒⏃⌇⍜⋏, ⎎⌰⍜⏃⏁⟟⋏☌ ⏃☊⍀⍜⌇⌇ ⏁⊑⟒ ⍜☊⟒⏃⋏. ⊑⟒ ⌰⍜⍜☍⟒⎅ ⌇⍜ ⎅⟟⎎⎎⟒⍀⟒⋏⏁, ⟟⏁'⌇ ⌰⟟☍⟒ ⊑⟒'⌇ ⎅⟒⏃⎅. ⍙⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ☌⍜⟟⋏☌ ⍜⋏ ⍜⎐⟒⍀ ⏁⊑⟒⍀⟒? ⟟⌇ ⊑⟒ ⍜☍⏃⊬?