"Germany, remember, no need to go crazy over this."
"Go crazy? What makes you think that, Ru?" Germany laughed, glancing behind as familiar footsteps walked up to him, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
"Oh you know, the pacing around, staring out the window like a lost puppy waiting for his owners, the impulse buying..." Russia said, also glancing behind to look exasperatedly into the chaotic landscape that their living room had been transformed into for the last 3 days.
"That's not impulse buying, that's purchasing the essentials." Germany retorted with an easy voice, going back to staring out of the window while perched on the couch, palms propping up his chin.
"A giant box of baby toys is considered essentials?"
"Have you considered what will she do when she's bored here??" He said, turning his head to give Russia the biggest stink eye he could muster while bubbling with excitement.
"Well, we would entertain her, but I don't think we need That Many toys to do that. Babies don't need that many toys." Russia sighed, but couldn't help the slight beginnings of a smile curling his lips. He pressed his hand harder, massaging into Germany's shoulder and feeling the muscles untense, his boyfriend melting into his touch with a pleased hum.
"You read Japan's binder of rules?" He spoke up again, also looking out of the window now to watch for any arriving cars.
"5 times, highlighted, bolded, memorized. That's what I do best." Germany replied with a smug smile.
"So you know that she has strict nap times, means you can't be playing with her the whole time-" Russia reminded, trying not to laugh when that thought rang true in Germany's head, watching his expression turning into one of confused realization and dismay.
"... but since her mother won't be here..." Germany said softly, raising his eyebrows slightly in his implied suggestion. And that finally cracked him up, raising his free hand to muffle the sound of his laughter as their shoulders bumped into each other playfully.
"I think I know what I'm doing." Germany exclaimed, pretending to pout for being laughed at. "Yeah? I don't think you've even held a baby before." Russia snickered.
"Yes I have- I held Her when she was born! Besides, I could say the same for you- You've never held a baby."
"Well I grew up with siblings so-" Russia countered, copying Germany's smug smile and making him gasp in audacity, throwing a mock-punch against his arm. "How long should she nap for?"
"2 hours max." Germany answered automatically, crossing his arms in challenge. "How long will she sleep at night?"
"5 hours is her longest record, if she wakes up, she either wants to be feed, paid attention to, or needs a diaper change."
"What do we feed her?"
"She started soft food a month ago, we've already cooked that. Combine with milk and no more than 2 snacks a day. See, I know my stuff. I read Japan's binder." Germany grinned mockingly, putting all teeth on display.
"Yeah yeah." Russia rolled his eyes playfully, going back to looking out the window.
"Hey hold on, now it's My turn to quiz you." Germany said, turning around to face him. He gestured towards Russia, who decided to humour him and raised his hands up in a surrender, showing empty hands and pockets. "Where are your weapons?"
"The Nerf guns are in our bedroom and will not be touched." Russia answered dutifully, suppressing a smile.
"And the kitchen knives? We agreed no cooking, right?" Germany cocked his head to one side, arms still crossed over his chest. "Yep, no dangerous activities around her or something. They're in the top cabinet drawer, out of reach of her hands. And also indirectly your hands."
"Don't tease me about my height now. Where'd you keep the baseball bat?"
"Closet." Russia replied, jabbing a thumb up towards their staircase. Germany hummed, seeming satisfied. Ice blue eyes flickered briefly towards the window again, catching a glint of light reflecting off a metallic surface that was slowing to a stop outside their house. "Also there's a car outside right now, I wonder who could that be."
"WHAT-" Germany screeched, swiveling around to slam his hands against the glass, nearly staring to vibrate with his excitement. "Oh my god- It's happening. Stay calm Ru we're going to handle this like pros. Oh my god It's Happening-"
Russia rolled his eyes and took one step forward, grabbing Germany by the back of his head in a well-practiced motion and pulled him into a quick kiss just to shut him up.
"You calm down. Remember what I said. Go welcome our guests."
Germany stared at him with his lips parted for a second, honey golden eyes glimmering like molten liquid, before he squealed and ran off, flinging their front door open and sprinting out.
He took a breath, trying to compose himself too. Inhale, exhale. May they not mess up in the time span of these two days. Everything was going to go well, he hoped. Russia relaxed his shoulders and turned to walk out of the front door as well.
"Hii!!!" The sound of Germany's voice squealed outside, chattering and laughing with his friends. Japan's white hair caught in the sunlight, hanging loose down her shoulders as she talked with him, putting her hands on her hips.
"-now remember, Do Not bring my daughter to the EU office, everyone gets to meet her in due time but not today-"
"Oooh you hear that. Your favourite uncles get special VIP treatment to you, huh-" Germany said, the biggest grin on his face as he cooed at the big bundle in his arms, a swaddle of pink blanket and the foot of a little onesie hanging out.
"Russ come here!"
His golden eyes were positively sparkling, even more than usual under the bright morning sunshine. Another little voice babbled and squealed as he flipped the bundle in his arms around, holding her out for Russia to see.
"Say hi to Ari!!"
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Alternative title: Babysitting Japan and South Korea's Kid
Adding to the lore through a bit of shitposting is healthy actually :DD
Behold: *holds up a random child that no one has ever seen before* You will like her now start clapping-
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the very existence of this 120th oneshot, it's been a wild wild ride and I love you all so much, I appreciate you reading my stories and leaving votes and comments!!
I'd also like to say thank you to the readers of the Rusger Smutshot book as well, it was a really nice ride and I genuinely appreciated all your nice comments there. Thank you for liking my writing and supporting me! The link to A03 is on my conversations board if you want it!! Maybe one day the horny bastard will return, but now I'm going to try and put more attention towards this book and maybe future projects ;)
This oneshot is pure fluffy sugary sweetness hehe surely it will be short- WRONG 11k words be upon ye *throws this like a solidified pound of rock sugar towards you*
I seem to be writing a lot of things with 11k words lately, its too bad Wattpad decided it permanently delete one of them with no prior notice 👀 (It was a draft in the deceased Rusger smutshots book and I didn't make a backup of it because I'm stupid and thought I could trust Wattpad)
Okay I hope you enjoy reading!!! This is the first time that Germany and Russia would've ever interacting with a baby captured in story!! I hope you like it!!
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"ドイツ(Germany) You Have Got To be Kidding Me-" Japan exclaimed once she'd stepped foot into their house, her pink eyes widening in a mix of emotions such as dismay, rage and disappointment.
Her daughter fussed in her arms, playing with her pink baby blanket and not as occupied with looking around at her new surroundings.
"I thought I told you not to buy anything!!" Japan scolded. "Oh please, it's just a few essentials! She needs a place to play, a place to sleep, a place to eat, a place to read-" Germany went off in a rant, counting off his fingers.
"She's 10 Months Old!"
"She also said Not to go overboard-" South Korea added to back up his wife, carrying in a cooler box of baby food and supplies from the car. Germany glared at his friend for his betrayal, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.
"Well, how can you define what exactly is overboard?" He said, cocking his head to one side.
"When you buy the fanciest looking stuff and make it seem like YOUR house is the one having a baby! Why would you need a stroller, she's only going to stay for 2 days!" Japan exclaimed, pointing towards a neatly folded stroller leaning against the wall, brand new and shiny.
"What can I say, I like to be prepared." Germany shrugged nonchalantly. "Unlike you." He smirked jokingly, taking a jab where he knew his childhood friend would gasp dramatically instead of reacting in seriousness.
"Ohh, that's it. Russia, hold my baby." Japan growled playfully, handing her daughter off before hiking up the bottom of her skirt to go throw hands.
"Wha- oh." Russia fumbled, startled at suddenly being drawn into the conversation, and then having a whole child being entrusted to him. He quickly adjusted his grip, supporting her bottom and back.
A pair of pale, near colourless eyes looked up into his own ice blue ones, framed by equally pale lashes. Little chubby baby cheeks that were about the same tone and colour tensed as she fussed a little, tiny pale hands tightening around her pink fleece blanket. A Child of Countryhumans.
"Ah-" Ari babbled, confused about why she was being suddenly held by a stranger. But still, there was this sense of understanding that this stranger was like Her, like her parents.
The first thing that Russia noticed was that little Akari was much bigger than he'd expected her to be. He'd only seen her in pictures and video clips until today, and well- he thought 10 month old babies were smaller, more fragile.
And yet here she was, fussing and squirming around in her little yellow daisy onesie, holding her head up by herself and acting quite independently. She looked up directly at him, (thankfully not crying), staring more curiously then anything.
"Akari." Russia smiled faintly, bouncing her gently to quiet down her fussing. He got a high-pitch squeal, and then she was flopping forward onto his chest, tiny hands reaching up as if trying to grab onto that icy blue colour coming from his eyes.
"Oh- sorry, you can't do that-" Russia said quickly while leaning away, his smile widening when Akari babbled, turning to patting her hands on his cheek. Which was apparently very cute because that snapped Germany and Japan out of their little play argument.
"Aww-!!" Germany cooed, running over to fawn over both of them and wiggle his fingers at her to get a little laugh. "Look 日本, it's Russ' first time holding Ari!!"
That realization slowed down time for a second, before it resumed again in laughter from all of them, chatter filling the living room again.
"She's doing better then I thought already-" Russia said light-heartedly, full-on grinning when little Akari, nicknamed Ari by everyone at this point, turned around with her little arms outstretched.
"Mama!" She babbled, getting another excited coo/squeal from her German uncle. Japan rolled her eyes at her best friend's antics and went to take her daughter from Russia, giving him a teasing look that basically translated to 'I pity the man that's dating my best friend'.
'I know' Came Russia's weathered look in reply as he loosened his grip, smiling fondly at his friends and his boyfriend, who'd gotten another bout of energy and had lunged over to the massive toy box he'd gotten, digging out something with the excitement of a puppy and its bone.
"Ari!! Ari, look at what your Oji Germany got for you!" He exclaimed, holding out a shiny, rattling, spinning, metallic clanking bells a-ringing object that was the last idea that a person would ever imagine a baby's toy to look like.
Japan and South Korea looked at it, and then turned to each other with a look that pondered whether or not they'd chosen the correct babysitter.
"Oh come on, look! It's intellectually stimulating stuff for her, yeah! It's for You, Ari! Anyways, she's supposed to solve it like a puzzle, and untangle all the hoops from each other! It's super baby-proof, all the reviews were 5 stars, and she'll be learning all kinds of object manipulation and better motor skills!" Germany rambled, gently scooping Ari out of Japan's arms to give the toy to her, her tiny hands barely big enough to hold all of it.
"When I heard that you picked the dictionary for your Erabitori, I just knew that you'd be smart!! You'll be the smartest little girl ever, what with those combined brains of your parents!!" Germany said, voice full of pride as he tickled her tiny nose, getting a little squeal of a giggle.
Her parents started to relax again, South Korea's green eyes rolling before he striddled over and leant his arms over Germany's shoulder. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Ger-Ger."
"Won't it?" Germany hummed, smiling devilishly. Ari's little eyes gleamed as she looked up at him, giggling again. Her father glanced down, lips curled into a soft smile.
"You better take good care of my daughter." South Korea said, turning to look at Germany again, who simply smiled and nodded, pretending to be nonchalant about it.
"I'm serious, you rascal-" He growled playfully, reaching up to ruffle Germany's black hair and getting an annoyed squawked that turned into a cackle, getting an elbow jabbed into his ribs for his affections.
"Please, she will be fine. Don't you two have an important meeting to attend soon? You've already dropped off all her things, go, settle business and then have a wonderful time at the hotel!" Germany said, making a gesture with his free hand towards the front door. Japan flashed him another doubtful look.
"I've already listed everything in that PDF file I sent you on Monday, her routine, you Have to stick with it, absolutely no exceptions. If I find out, and I will find out, that you skip anything, I'm never letting you babysit her again you hear me ドイツ-"
"Oh come on, relax! I'm not that bad, I'm Very trustworthy and responsible, I'm her favourite uncle! And plus, Russia's here. Between me and Russia, what could possibly go wrong? You always say that we're the brain and brawl couple, we're prepared for Everything." Germany rambled, giving his business speech as he ushered them out the front door with little nudges and shoves, all to the delight of little Ari.
"Baba! Mama!" She called out as they were standing at the doorway, making them hesitate one more time. South Korea melted and hurried over to kiss her on one cute chubby cheek, the action quickly being mirrored by his wife until their daughter was squealing in joy, legs kicking out at the ticklish sensations.
"Mama and Appa will be back for you tomorrow afternoon, okay? You keep a close eye on your uncles for us, okay?" Japan said in her native tongue, the words smooth and melodic to which Ari listened keenly towards, answering in similar babbling noises.
South Korea straightened up and gave Germany a smile again, he trusted his close friend a lot, but childcaring was a whole new obstacle he'd never experienced before, and they were all kind of hoping for the best here, seeing how last minute their arrangement was.
He nodded to Russia as well standing behind Germany, who nodded back with a look of reassurance. Japan did the same thing, reminding Germany again out of playful teasing until he pretended to snap and push her towards the driver's seat of their car again, closing the door behind her as they laughed together.
"잘 있어! (Bye!)" South Korea called out as his wife started up the car, waving to them through the open window.
"잘 있어!!" Came a little voice before Germany could even reply, and he quickly looked down to see Ari copying her father and waving back with her teeny hand, eyes alit as her parents drove off. She was quite used to them leaving for work even at this age, so it didn't faze her that much anymore.
Russia smiled faintly at the sight of Germany jogging back into the house with his arms full, two voices giggling along as the movements jostled Ari.
"Alright, now the party really begins!!" He whooped, holding her up in Simba fashion. Russia made sure to step in when needed and scooped her into his arms, flashing Germany a look before he got preoccupied with something else.
"What to do first? Maybe we could let her choose- or should we show her the options she has first? Do you wanna go out on a walk, Ari? It's your first time in Belgium's country, at such a little age!!" Germany chattered, running his thoughts out loud.
"Doesn't she have a naptime soon? Let's have her settle in first or something." Russia suggested.
"We still have- One hour and 3 minutes before her first scheduled nap." Germany turned and pointed to the clock. "Let's maximize the time we have, Ari!!"
Russia didn't have the heart to say no (Well he'd rather not upset either one of them that would be a disaster) and so he simply watched his boyfriend, holding Ari, who'd gone quiet as well in his arms as she seemed to realize she was no where familiar. This was a stranger's house in a stranger's country and her parents were not here.
"We can play with your new toys first, then! Your mother told me you really like them, she wasn't too specific, so I bought you a bunch of them!" Germany said, holding his hands out towards the giant box. He then gestured to Russia to put Ari down, who complied with a slightest big of hesitance and more of curiosity of what was going to happen next.
Little pale eyes blinked owlishly, fumbling to get on her knees and gripping the rug nearby for stability.
"I learnt how to rewire a motherboard in an hour, imagine what You could do, Ari!"
Russia continued to watch, as Germany struggled to get ahold of that giant box, popping open the lid and then to his dismay, proceeded to tip it over.
"Wheee!!!" Germany cheered, setting the box into its side as its contents were all dumped out into the floor in a sort of plushie, baby block clattering toy avalanche in front of Ari, a bleeding mass of bright colour and different textures and noises.
"Isn't this fun?" He said, doing his best to making this more exciting and enthusiastic.
Which caused Ari to promptly burst out into tears.
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Well it turns out Russia was better at comforting crying babies then Germany.
Which was well expected by pretty much everyone except Germany. He sulked and stewed quietly in a corner as Russia soothed a still faintly sniffling Ari, occasionally flashing his boyfriend a quick look to check up on him ever minute or so.
"Ok, has everyone calmed down?" He asked after a while. Ari's tears had dried at this point, and she was rubbing her face against his shirt, Russia didn't mind as long as she'd stopped bawling her eyes out. Germany huffed softly, uncrossing his arms.
"She should be keen to learn at this age, why?" He exclaimed, a conflicting mixture of guilt, confusion and frustration due to things not working out like he'd hoped churning in those honey golden eyes, seeping into his body language and movements.
"You know what it's like to be overwhelmed." Russia said in a reassuring tone of voice, one hand patting Ari on the back gently. "Plus, she doesn't recognize this environment at all."
Germany looked down, breathing out softly. "I think kids this age prefer calmness over excitement." Russia added, smiling comfortingly. "She'll appreciate your enthusiasm when she's older, I'm sure."
It seemed that finally got through with his boyfriend, and he signed softly, mood dissipating. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry for acting that way."
"Don't be, first time for everything, right? Besides, I think the person you should be apologizing to is Ari-" Russia said, tilting his head slightly to look down at the child laying on his shoulder, only to see closed eyes and a lax expression, tiny hands fisted close to her face smushed against him.
"Oh shit I think she's asleep."
Germany gasped dramatically, standing up. "Language! You do not say that in front of the baby!"
"Oh, sorry. I mean- О блядь, я думаю, она спит.(O blyat, I think she's asleep)"
Gold eyes stared at him with a deadpanned expression for a couple seconds.
"Switching languages doesn't make it better either." Germany said also in Russian, the corners of his lips curling into a tiny smile.
Russia simply shrugged innocently and grinned.
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Originally, they were suggested to just provide Ari a place to sleep in their bedroom, Japan had brought her mattress and favourite blanket, and that was all she was supposed to need for sleeping. Back home, that was how their family slept.
Due to Germany's crazed frenzy and going on a baby-shopping rampage, he'd basically transformed their primary guestroom into a full-blown nursery in 3 days, with its own brand new crib and baby mobile. If Japan had seen this earlier, she'd probably have a stroke.
(Metaphorically, of course. It wouldn't do to kill a new mother and the Countryhuman of Japan because of something like this)
Walking up the stairs was a game of trying not to make any noise in fear of waking Ari up by accident, both of them tip toeing up each step. Russia had the challenge of doing it all without jostling her out of her slumber, but they hadn't even gotten to the hardest part.
"This door squeaks, right?" Germany whispered, pointing towards the guestroom door. Russia nodded, now regretting having kept it closed in the first place.
"Should I do it slowly?" Germany said, stepping closer towards the door and closing his hand around the doorknob. "No no, do it fast. Like just- open it all the way." Russia replied quickly, keeping a distance in hopes that the noise wouldn't travel too far.
Both of them had come to the conclusion that waking Ari up would probably be like The End of The World (They were first time babysitters and they are very scared of Japan's wrath). Germany muttered something like a prayer under his breath as he braced against the door, glancing at Russia who was attempting to cover Ari's ears.
The door rebelliously released a god-awful SQUAWCK as Germany pushed it open, making them both cringe and freeze like deer. Ari blissfully slept on undisturbed.
"Phew. That was okay." Germany whispered, flashing two awkward thumbs up. Russia did the same with one hand. They were going to get such a good grade at this babysitting thing.
"Out of the way-" He said while walking quickly into the luckily dimmed room, they had somehow remembered to close the blinds but forgot the door, either way, Ari's brand new nursery was all prepared for a sleeping baby, several soft toy animals sitting at the head of the crib in wait.
"Be gentle." Germany piped up, suddenly procuring her little pink baby blanket. "I know-" Russia replied, placing his hands on her in preparation to lift her off his shoulder, and set her down into the crib on her back. Simple enough.
If not for the sudden descent of a plague of doubt.
"What if she wakes up mid-transfer??" Russia hissed between his teeth. "Just do it quick so that she won't-!" His boyfriend answered, gesturing for him to keep going.
"I don't think babies and doors work in the same way-"
"Россия put her in the crib." Germany said, miming the motion of lifting her up and putting her down. "Give me a second- Can you check if she's properly asleep-"
Germany took a quick peek, and then nodded quickly. "Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Russ it's fine, just do it!" He hissed, nodding in encouragement but also increasing nervousness as well. Russia's own nervousness was skyrocketing at this point, and they were ricocheting off each other like what healthy couples do.
"I should probably support her neck, right." Russia whispered, adjusting his hand. "Yes, yes you should."
Okay, he had his left hand on the back of her neck, and his right hand supporting her bottom. He just needed to tilt forward to shift her weight, and that would be step one.
Russia had felt less nervous handling a live grenade compared to this. "Slowly, gently-" Germany whispered in a sense of a coaxing voice, but right now it was just breaking his concentration of not messing this up.
"Shush. I can't think."
"Okay, jeez. You got this."
Yes, step one went by fine. They both breathed a sigh of relief when Russia finally got her off his shoulder and into his hands. Her limbs were all splayed out and she was still sleeping soundly.
"Now put her down gently." Germany said, gesturing with his hands. This should be easy. If Ari hadn't started to fuss and move while still being held in mid-air.
Internally, they were panicking like that scene in Spongebob's mind palace and Russia was about to blue-screen and mentally check-out for the day before his instincts went AAAAAAA, jerked him back into the present and tightening his grip on her wriggling body for dear life.
Ari settled down again after a few seconds and went back to deep sleep like nothing had happened. Her uncles were silently freaking out and reconsidering their babysitting qualifications though.
They couldn't call Japan or South Korea for help because they were in a government meeting function that was strictly confidential, so they were pretty much on their own. Japan would've told them that it was a normal thing for babies to do if she could.
Neither of them dared to even say a word now in their terror. So it went down as a frantic game of charades, where Germany was telling Russia to put her down, and Russia was shaking his head and violently mouthing the word 'NO'. He'd rather stand here for the rest of eternity frozen in place, or- until she woke up again I guess.
'Put her down, tuck her in, and let's get the Hell Out Of Here-' Germany conveyed through huge arm motions and exaggerated but silent facial expressions.
Russia swallowed hard, and eventually started to lower her down, inches at a time until finally the back of his hands touched the soft surface of the crib. Both of them stared with baited breathed as he eased his hands free, leaving Ari behind to settle herself in and get comfortable.
Success. Germany tiptoed over and gently draped her pink fleece blanket over her.
"We did it." He whispered, wide golden eyes flickering up to look at his equally shocked (traumatized) boyfriend. Russia glanced at him, then back at her. Ari was once again a sweet, do-no-harm baby that he often viewed only through his phone, sleeping away peacefully with her arms splayed out next to her face.
"And absolutely nothing went wrong. We handled it like professionals." Germany continued, speaking like some narrator. His boyfriend gave him a weird look, to which Germany struggled, and held up his hand for a celebratory high five.
Obviously, that would wake Ari up. So Russia just smiled faintly in amusement and gently touched their palms together, expecting Germany to pull away first. But he didn't, so they ended up standing there with their hands together, staring into each other's eyes.
Germany glanced back and forward between their hands and him, before smirking and curling his fingers, intertwining them into the spaces between Russia's.
"... is this an excuse to hold my hand." He muttered. Germany laughed without a sound, the corners of his eyes squinted and irises sparkling in the dim light, making Russia blush.
"Ok, now let's get outta here." He whispered. And since neither of them even thought about letting go of their hands, they comically tiptoed along and pulled on each other like tethers, before finally slipping out of the guest room together, leaving the door open.
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"Time to eat, Ari!!"
Ari was surprisingly good at keeping up with her own scheduled routine. She'd started crying again to announce herself being awake exactly 1 minute after Germany had checked his watch to see her designated lunch hour tick by.
Russia smiled as he watched Germany come bounding back into the dining room, carrying an armful of sleepy baby. She was cuddling against his neck, little hands fisted up as she rubbed her eyes, cute and curious.
"Want some 까까 (Snack, 'kaka')?" Germany said, which immediately captured all her attention with that one magical word. "Yes! It's time for 까까!"
He quickly set her down into her brand new baby chair, and handed her one of those baby biscuits that her parents had brought with her as an appetizer. Ari immediately grabbed it with both hands and began chewing on it, her tiny baby teeth gnawing around before successfully breaking off a tiny piece.
"Is the food ready?" Germany asked as he went towards Russia in the kitchen, who nodded as he took off his apron. Next to the still hot stove was a metal tray with a matching silver food cover, very professional.
Germany scooped it up from the counter and went back towards the table, clearing his throat and straightening his back, standing very prim and proper. Ari blinked up owlishly, not going to understand a single thing.
"And for madame, today we have a gourmet meal made of the finest of sweet potatoes from the country of Belgium blended into a smooth purée, mixed with all-organic mother's milk, frozen and then reheated in a water bath to a temperature of 73.5°C for 2 minutes. Bon Appétit."
The silver dome-shaped cover was removed with a quick motion of his wrist, revealing a normal baby bowl decorated with little duckies filled with orange purée. A little anticlimactic, but at least Ari was happy, kicking out her tiny legs in joy as Germany finally set down the food, giving her a little plastic spoon.
She quickly began digging in, as she was not a picky baby, only making a small noise of protest from being disturbed as Russia remembered her bib and put it around her neck to make sure she didn't get her cute onesie dirty.
He and Germany high-fived again in victory of a job well done, leaving one satisfied customer. In direct contrast to Ari's homecooked, very healthy meal, their lunch consisted of pizza and coke and mozzarella sticks. They were winning in life.
Anyways, Russia's phone starts ringing. "Ah сука, it's the government. I gotta take this." He muttered, taking a slice of pizza with him as he answered the phone and walked away. "Привет-"
Germany glared at him while he left for his use of language again, a string of cheese connecting his mouth and the pizza. A little giggle captured his attention again, and he melted into a smile as he turned back to Ari.
"Is this funny?" He asked, scooting his chair closer to her, biting off the string and chewing slightly. Ari babbled and tried to reach for his pizza, ignoring her own bowl.
"Mm... I don't know how your mother will react if I let you have pizza now. Another day, when you're older." Germany said, putting it aside before facing her again, leaning his chin on his palm.
Ari huffed, fussing a bit. She fumbled with her spoon, and ended up using her hand to grab her food, attempting to stuff the whole fistful into her mouth.
(If Russia had been here to witness it, he would have pointed at her, and then back at Germany with a "Hah. That's you.")
Lucky for him, Russia was busy with work, so Germany was able to remove the evidence by laughing softly and wiping Ari's hand clean, before dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a tissue too.
"Is the spoon difficult to use?" Ari banged it against the table of her baby chair, babbling her answer.
"Well, your mama did say you were only just starting to learn how to use utensils." Germany hummed, gently taking it along with the bowl from her. "Ok, I'll feed you. Do you want the airplane, or the choo choo train?"
Ari blinked, and simply opened her mouth impatiently. If she remained hungry for another minute more she was going to start sobbing her eyes out again, she decided. This golden-eyed guy better not be playing around with her right now.
Luckily he got the message and scooped up a baby-sized spoonful, holding it towards her mouth and helping her nudge anything that hadn't quite made it into her mouth away, getting a pleased hum from her as she chewed.
"おいしいネ- (It's yummy, right- 'Oi shii ne')" He said with a big grin, clanking the spoon against the side of the bowl as he went to gather up another mouthful. Ari's pale, colourless eyes seemed to gleam with understanding, and she started wriggled around in her chair.
"おいしい-" She repeated back in a cute baby voice muffled with a mouthful of food. Germany's reaction was almost similar, golden eyes lighting up like midday sun as he smiled wider.
"까까 おいしい? ('Kaka oi shii?')" He asked in a blend of Korean and Japanese, holding up another filled spoon. Ari smiled back at him and leant forward to eat, nodding eagerly.
"Kluges kleines Mädchen!! (Smart little girl!!)" Germany exclaimed and clapped for her, getting more giggles. Children of Countryhumans were somehow also no longer the same as normal humans, even thought they aged the same and didn't have any of the abilities of an actual Countryhuman. But they were smarter, absorbed knowledge like language, critical thinking and social skills faster than their average peers.
He would know, since he was also once a Child of Countryhumans too. "You're going to grow up with so many multilingual influences! I'll teach you German, and Russ will teach you Russian, your other uncle, Marco Romano will teach you Italian-" Germany said excitedly, booping her on the nose and getting a little squeal.
"Yes, you have another uncle. He's a piece of- jealousy, when he hears that I get to babysit you first, he's gonna be sooo jealous!!" He crowed, laughing along with her, and reaching forward to smooth her fine hair out of her face.
"I love you. Remember that you are loved."
When Russia came back into the room, somewhat annoyed from the call, he saw Germany and Ari sitting together, all peaceful and calm. It was oddly domestic, and he felt his heart melting a bit at the sight.
"Aaa... Mm, おいしいネ~(It's yummy 'oi shii')" Germany said, getting the second to last spoonful of food into her mouth, smiling as she imitated him. "Mm, おいしいネ~"
"すごい! (Amazing/Good job! 'Sugoi')" He laughed, glancing up. "Hey Russ you're back!!"
"She responds better to Japanese and Korean?" Russia asked curiously, sitting back down and taking the last mozzarella stick for himself. "Well, duh. Japan also noted a few keywords that she understands in her PDF file. She's an excellent copycat, like you!"
Ari babbled, slapping her hands on her table to demand for her last bite of food. "Do you wanna try feeding her? She really likes it! We're bonding!" Germany offered, holding out the bowl and tiny baby spoon to him.
"Nah, you do it. You look like you're having fun." Russia smiled, brushing off the oily crumbs on his fingers before standing up to clear the table, leaning forward to peck his boyfriend on the forehead as he left again, ruffling Ari's fine, short hair with his clean hand and getting a little giggle.
Germany fought not to blush, he failed, and went to give Ari her last spoonful before standing up, chasing Russia down to kiss him properly.
"We have a whole afternoon left to spend, what do you think we should do?"
"Hmm...Oh! Ari, wanna go on that walk now? We'll take you to the park!"
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So they did end up going to the park, all the way till the sun set. Then they got home, feed Ari again, and then took upon the next challenge of giving her a bath. Ari was an angel throughout the process, and they got it done with minimal stress.
Russia was now scrolling through his phone as he watched her while Germany got himself cleaned up. Ari fiddled around with one of her new stuffed toys, suddenly tilting her head up to look at him.
"이게 뭐야? (What is this?)" She asked, holding it up. "Giraffe." He replied, smiling faintly. A thought popped into his mind and he was quickly searching Google Translate.
"기린. (Giraffe 'Kirin')" Russia said again, pointing towards the stuff toy in her hands. He typed on his phone again, holding it up to listen. "キリン . ('Kirin')"
"Kirin..." Ari echoed, not quite correctly towards either language but close enough, seemingly satisfied with his answers and going to gnaw on one of the stuffed giraffe's ears again.
"Жирафа. ('Zhirafa')" Russia added as an afterthought, smiling a bit wider when it recaptured her attention and curiosity, pale colourless eyes gleaming.
"Что? Звучит ли русский язык знакомо? (What? Does Russian sound familiar?)" He laughed, grinning when she crawled towards him. Russian did sound a little bit like the Asian languages, with the lilt of his voice when he switched to his native tongue.
Ari babbled, attempting to mimic. "You know what, maybe it's not a good idea that I teach you Russian just yet." He hummed in contemplation, remembering that he was basically using it for stronger language that she shouldn't be learning until she was at least 13. He picked her up and let her get comfortable in the cradle of his lap, scrolling through his phone again.
Russia was no photographer, but he thought he did get some pretty good pictures when they were at the park earlier today. Candid photos of Germany laughing, scooping Ari out of her stroller and running off to show her what the country of Belgium had to offer.
Photos of the lake where ducks swam about. He got a nice picture of Germany and Ari from the back, sitting together on the green grass and watching the birds peacefully with the sun on their faces. Germany attempted to bring her closer to the ducks but they just flew away, they didn't care for Countryhumans that weren't their own, especially if they had no food to offer.
This one was good to send to South Korea and Japan as proof that they were doing well and their daughter wasn't being mishandled. Ari watched with fascination as he continued to scroll through the pictures, occasionally piping up '鴨! (Duck! 'Kamo')' when she looked closely.
"Eh, no screen time for her! It's bad for the baby!" Germany's voice announced his return back into the primary guest room/ baby nursery, towel-drying his black hair. "It was in Japan's PDF!"
"I won't tell if you won't-" Russia said, shrugging his shoulders. His boyfriend stared blankly, then shrugged as well. "Yeah deal."
"But I bought her story books! Ari, come here! Want a story time before you go to sleep?" Germany asked, holding up a whole stack.
"Wha- When did you get those??" Russia blurted out exasperatedly. Toys and the maniac buying of baby equipment were already crazy enough, but when did he even find time to find baby books?
"Amazon." Germany answered simply, spreading out the collection on the rug, beaconing towards Ari who was climbing out of his lap to go look at the new things.
"Would you like to read General Relativity for Babies? Organic Chemistry for Babies? ABC's of Biology? Oh- what about this ABC's of Engineering!"
"She's 10 months old-"
"Gotta start them young, right? You're never too young to learn about the molecular sciences of our world." Germany cooed in a baby voice, pulling out his glasses and sliding them on. Ari babbled and touched one of the books.
"General relativity! Good choice!!" Germany cheered, picking it up. "Physics, very good subject. Lots of math and calculations. We sent a man to the moon with physics!"
Russia was mentally dry heaving at the thought of mathematics. "OOH that reminds me! I bought something in theme for this book. Ru hold her for a second." Once again, Ari was set onto his lap, while Germany ran out of the room and sprinted down the stairs with loud footsteps.
"... your uncle is crazy." Russia muttered, which made Ari giggle.
"I'm back! Look!" Germany said when he returned a minute later, holding out a strange little dome-shaped device in his hands. When he flicked it on, light in the colour of galaxies poured out in the shape of stars, moons and planets, sparkling and dancing across the walls and the ceiling.
Three sets of gleaming eyes stared up and marveled in silence for a bit, before time and the world moved on again.
Germany made himself comfortable on Russia's lap as well, picking up Ari to sit on his own so they could all see the book. Why they choose to sit on the floor when there was a perfectly good reading chair a few feet away, they would never know.
"Ahem. Ari, look. This is a ball." Germany started, reading off the first page of the book. "This ball has mass."
"ボール- ('Ball')" Ari piped up, also pointing where his finger was. "Yes, ボール."
"More mass, less mass." He continued, pointing to a picture of a larger ball, and then a smaller one next to it. "Bigger size, bigger mass. Ja?"
"야아야아야아- ('YaYaYa-')" Ari babbled.
"Did she just say Yes?" He asked, looking up at Russia.
"I think she was just making noises, Ger. 'Ya' is a pretty common word in many languages." Russia replied, tilting his head slightly.
"야아! や, Я, Ja. ('Ya! ya, ya, ya.')" Ari continued to babble in a sentence, seemingly to help prove his point.
Germany burst out laughing, loosening his hold on the book to give her a big hug. "You're so clever!!! かわいい!! (Cute!! 'Kawaii')"
"いや! (No! 'i ya')" Ari squealed, wriggling around. "いや? いやかわいい? (No? No kawaii?)" Germany exclaimed back in broken Japanese, letting her go and leaning his right cheek on top of her head lightly before turning their attention back to the book.
"This is flat space." He read out, holding out the palm of his hand straight. "Flat, with nothing on it." Ari giggled playfully, patting her own hand on top of it, babbling again.
"Mass warps space." Germany said, grabbing Russia's idle hand and forming it into a fist before dropping it onto his own palm, forming a concaved shape like in the page. "Less mass, less warp. More mass, more warp."
"This, is a small particle." He continued, pointing towards the little red dot on the page. He gently took Ari's tiny hand and balled it into a fist as well, adding it to his physical demonstration.
"It wants to go here. But it can't." Germany said, guiding her hand across the flat space in a straight line. "That's because the heavy mass, pulls it towards itself. That's how we get planet orbits."
Ari giggled again, wriggling her hand free and beginning to clamber off his lap to go back to her stuffed giraffe toy again, crawling along in her very cute red panda themed pajamas. Germany didn't seemed too bothered, going back to reading.
"The small particle must follow the shortest path through curved space."
At this point, Russia knew that Germany was entering one of those zoned-in modes where he was utterly fixated on a topic and probably wouldn't be moving for a few couple of hours if it was a serious topic. This was bad news for him right now because Germany was sitting on his lap and he was trapped in place.
"This ball is spinning. Ari, see?" Germany said, briefly looking up to turn the book back towards her, getting a babble back in acknowledgement. Russia also got a glance, resigning to reading over his boyfriend's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist.
"Mass drags space. And in turn, space drags mass. Laws of gravitational forces- etcetera etcetera-" Germany continued, saying it nonchalantly like it was common knowledge before turning the page of the baby book.
"This is flat space from a different angle. See mass warping space from this angle." He said, tilting his palm. The pictures in the book kind like looked like those that Albert Einstein created, a dip in the net symbolizing the fabric of space and a planet hovering over it.
"Shrink a large mass enough, and it becomes a black hole. A black hole is a large amount of mass in a relatively small area."
Remember, this is still a baby's book. It had those thick, hard pages for little baby hands to hold and resist any chewing. Along with colourful pictures. That qualifies it as a baby book.
"A black hole has so much mass that not even light can escape its warp. The center of a black hole is called a singularity. Two black holes can spin around each other. They send ripples through space called gravitational waves. These waves stretch and squish space throughout the universe. Now you know General Relativity!"
Russia hummed, and rested his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder, glancing at him. "That's nice, Ger. You do remember that you were reading this to Ari?"
"Kind of. To put her to sleep?" Germany piped up, still a little zoned out, thoughts probably filled and chattering about math and space equations. The purple, red, blue and white lights from that little star-making device he brought gleamed in his golden eyes, offering a faint glimpse in the world inside them.
"Hm. Well- I suppose you did kind of succeed in that." He said. Ari had slumped over, facedown in the soft rug. She was still breathing, just- utterly passed out from her long day.
"...huh, I thought it would take more effort to get her to sleep." Germany muttered, briefly back in reality.
"Go us, I guess." Russia shrugged, mouth curled into a smirk as he held up his hand to high-five again. Germany laughed, clasping their hands together and squeezing slightly. "Go us."
"Let's not tell Japan that we let her daughter pass out face-down on the rug."
"Yep. I won't tell if you won't."
"She looks like she's drunk. Too much soju."
"Pft-" Germany snickered, imagining an older Ari at legal drinking age, also passed out like this.
"Now you should probably go put her in her crib-"
"Oh yeah- after this we're reading Organic Chemistry for Babies! This book series is surprisingly interesting-!" Germany said, scrambling to get up, legs cramping slightly. Russia huffed through a fond smile, and simply nudged him along, taking the chance for a break to lay down on his back on the floor, staring up at the stars on the ceiling.
○ ○ ○☀️○ ○ ○
(If you thought the book wasn't real, I assure you all 4 books mentioned are very real :3)
○ ○ ○☀️○ ○ ○
Yeah- he had no clue what happened after. All he found when he startled awake again, a couple hours must've went by, they were in pitch black darkness, and he was still on the floor of the nursery/guest room, curled up onto his side as he slept.
Germany was also passed out on the reading chair, one of the books laid out on his lap and his head lolled off to the left, glasses still perched on his nose. A small sniffling noise got his attention, and Russia blinked, pulling his surroundings into focus.
A baby was crying.
Wake up.
Ice blue eyes glowed, flickering as he looked around and sat up. Russia shook the wispy remains of his dreams away, locating the source of the crying in the crib on the far side of the room.
"Shhh..." He whispered, hands reaching in.
Ari squirmed, arms rubbing at her face. She cuddled up against the chest of whoever was holding her, still snuffling and whimpering.
Все хорошо. Все хорошо.
Russia sighed, gently only using a finger to brush a strand of pale hair out of her face. He was dreaming of his time in the Siberian forests again, when he was free and yet trapped within the constrains of unforgiving nature. Frostbite threatened to creep up those very same fingers almost every night.
He wasn't entirely lucid right now, thoughts a clouded mix of the past and the present. But well- seeing that Germany also had a long, hard day of entertaining Ari yesterday, he was dead asleep, and there wasn't much that could wake him up right now.
Ari had stopped crying. He should check to see if she either needed food, or a diaper change, but a soft cooing noise made him look down, to see her hands stretching up to his face, making tiny grabby motions at his eyes again.
A Countryhuman's eyes glowing wasn't exactly natural, but it still happened. Russia found that they usually glowed stronger at night, in pitch black. It didn't do much for night vision since it was still pretty weak, but if he held up his hand really close to his eyes, he could see his skin faintly illuminating in that ice blue glow.
Like an animal's. Like a gentle spirit's. Ari cooed again, reaching harder. Russia faintly wondered if she would do the same with Japan or South Korea, and whether or not she had ever accidently poked them in the eyes with her tiny fingers or not.
Right, diaper change. "I'll make this quick." Russia said in a whisper, setting her down on the rug on the floor, undoing the buttons holding the bottom half of her pajama onesie together.
Ari's little hands finally found purchase, and he held in a sharp wince when she pulled on his hair that'd hung down. A little giggle made him calm, and he resumed his work.
Strangely enough, she didn't need a diaper change. "Why did you wake me up then, малышка(little one)?" Russia hummed, buttoning her back up and hoisting her into his arms. Ari started making noises again when he spoke, cuddling close. She started reaching for his hair again, too.
"There's no way you could wake Him up. Sleeping like a log." He murmured, turning them around to face a fast-asleep Germany. Ari fussed, wriggling around.
"What? Что не так? (What's wrong?)" Russia asked. He was admittedly pretty tired too. Ari suddenly quietened down again, blinking up at him with those pale, blank-state eyes that all Children of Countryhumans had.
"Oh. Do you just want to be talked to." He said, switching completely to Russian, melting into a soft smile. He could do that. Japan mentioned it in her PDF file as well. Lulling her to sleep by just talking about whatever was honestly easier than story times or lullabies.
His thoughts were still buzzing about Siberia, about the cold of winter. But also about space, the colder, darker expanse outside the warm bubble of their atmosphere. The latter was probably more scary than whatever Siberia had to show for, but the way that Germany would talk about it, the way his gold eyes gleamed when he read that book, he made it seem like some kind of heaven.
Full of stars and nebulas, and humanity had hung their metal satellites up there along with them like they belonged. Russia found the little glass dome-shaped device again, and turned it on with a flick of his thumb.
In the pitch-black, the colourful lights were much more intense, twinkling slightly like real stars. Ari's mouth opened in a little 'o' shape as she marveled at them sparkling across the walls, while Russia sat back down on the floor, setting the device in front of them.
"Did you know, the first animal we sent to space, was a little dog. Named Laika. She was a stray in Moscow, and the Космическая программа СССР took her in, washed her up and prepared her to board the Sputnik II. She probably didn't understand anything. But those humans had probably been the kindest things that'd happened to her in her short life."
"I didn't even know about her till she came out in the news. I was in Siberia, in the army, running away from my responsibilities. I couldn't Do anything, anyway, even if I was there. But still..."
Ari had taken to holding his hand, her little hands barely big enough to comfortably wrap around one of his fingers. She was also getting increasingly sleepy, nodding off in the crook of his arm and basking in the warmth surrounding her.
"Without her, we wouldn't be sending men to space. Humanity thinks it is strong but yet it is so fragile, relying heavily on stepping stones because we're afraid. Laika must've been scared. Her ashes are forever up there now, when the rocket she was on burnt in the atmosphere."
This was turning out to be some bedtime story. Sure, let's lull a child to sleep with the topic of animal death.
You said to talk about anything that came to mind.
He did not say that. Russia sighed, moving his hand faintly, using a finger to stroke Akari's little cheek as she dozed, not quite fully asleep but looking very cute. The galaxy lights glimmered across her pale skin, stars shining faintly.
"I don't really believe in spirits or ghosts, or the afterlife, but for her I somehow make the exception. It's nice to imagine her as a guardian of our space flights now, her spirit lingering in the stars, protecting our astronauts that we send up. She's definitely the best dog, the best good dog we've ever had."
Like a church grim, the first soul to be buried in a graveyard to guard its future residences and protect those who ventured in.
Ari was sound asleep now. Russia smiled faintly, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. White, colourless hair. Not quite like his own, which was white because of his flag colours. A Child of Countryhumans was a blank flag, a waiting heir or a new potential candidate.
That didn't mean they were more likely to become the next countryhuman if their parent died, so it was strange that in the past, they were born to be a fail-safe, a safety net to ensure the social power stayed within a family. Which then was also strange, because their research was pointing towards the fact that Countryhumanship inheritance wasn't significantly linked through genetics.
It was a complicated mess of research that he didn't really enjoy delving into, he was content being the way he was now. He'd already inherited the flag from his father, and this bloodline would die with him. The next Countryhuman of Russia would be someone random within his territory.
Little Akari, was something brand new. At least for generations, she was a rarity. Something special. A child with Two Countryhuman parents.
It'd always been known that the birth of a Child of Countryhumans would lead to the normal human parent dying. They were doomed to the path of single parenthood. The cruel consequences of Fate's gifts, he supposed.
But now, she had both a mother and a father. Who's flag would she inherit if they Fell? Japan's or South Korea's? That was a mystery, and a puzzling one that many of their other fellow Countryhumans were very keen on learning, he was sure that Switzerland would love to have spent a day with her, observing her heightened intelligence and skill.
Was she Better than a typical Child of Countryhumans? He didn't know what other questions Switzerland might ask, but he wasn't very keen on knowing. To him, none of that mattered. Ari was a healthy baby, and she was smart and keen to interact with her world. In other words, she was as normal as other typical babies were. No magicy, Countryhuman bullshit involved.
The world was a dangerous place and learning to navigate it was treacherous and emotionally-draining. Japan knew that, and she was intent on making sure her daughter was as safe as could be. Both from countryhuman and normal human influence.
Russia stood up slowly, making sure not to jostle her too much as he walked over to put her down in her crib again. She was still a baby, and in his opinion, she should be allowed to remain a baby for as long as possible. There was no need for her to grow up fast, like he and Germany did. Like all other Children of Countryhumans in the past. He felt responsible for protecting her.
She was the next generation, the next era of Countryhuman children.
And whatever that would mean for her, he wanted to make sure she would be safe.
Gently tucking her in with her pink blanket again, Russia's ice blue eyes flinted and gleamed as he took a step away, silently walking back towards Germany. His boyfriend didn't stir, as he expected, when he lifted him off the chair in a bridal carry, heading back towards their bedroom.
○ ○ ○☀️○ ○ ○
"Ari! Ri-Ri, ach you're going to have too many nicknames at this point- Ari c'mere!!"
A high-pitched squeal of delight echoed through the nursery as Germany scooped her up from the floor while she attempted to crawl away, both of them laughing as he spun in a circle and made their hair swish in the breeze, a reminiscent of his own childhood.
"Silly girl! We have to do your hair cute! You're going to see your parents again!!"
Russia leant against the doorframe with his arms crossed as he watched them, smiling fondly at the sight. Ari squealed again gleefully when Germany swung her around, little limbs flailing around as she babbled and reached towards him. Morning sunlight bathed them in a warm glow, catching on Germany's open-mouthed laughter, illuminating his entire body.
They'd already fed her breakfast, so he was hoping their playful games won't result in any unpleasant throwing up. She was still in her cute red-panda pajamas, and Germany was supposed to be picking out her outfit for her.
"Are you going to keep standing there or are you gonna help?" Germany's voice pulled him back to attention again, bright honey golden eyes staring at him. Ari giggled, hair a fluffy, adorable mess.
He settled on taming it a bit while Germany searched through the bags that Japan and South Korea had brought with them. Being first-time parents, it seemed normal that they'd overpacked for their daughter. But over 10 sets of clothing for just a day and a half of stay? Japan must've been truly paranoid.
Ari played with her silvery hoop baby toy thing while she sat in the cradle of Russia's lap again, being very patient and docile while he ran a pink Hello Kitty hair brush through her soft baby hair.
"Oh that's cute- Winnie the Pooh themed onesie? South Korea has fantastic taste-" Germany said to himself out loud, digging through the collection.
Meanwhile, Russia was facing a smaller, but still similar issue with her hair. She had a whole hair accessory baggie that was filled with an assortment of cute sparkly hairclips, ribbons, elastic bands, and colourful pins. It was nice to see that her parents were prepared, but still- 10 month old's didn't exactly have a lot of hair to decorate.
Also he'd never done hair that was still fine and delicate before. The ponytails and braids that he was more used to were out of the question. Now what. Russia hummed, using his fingertips to very gingerly gather whatever hair he could together, also afraid of hurting her by tugging too hard.
"Russ- hey. Look." Germany whispered, making him look up. In his hands was a pink dress with a fluffy tulle skirt, themed with strawberries and topped with a bow at the back.
Inspiration struck, and Russia quickly rummaged through the hair accessory bag to find a little something that he'd spotted earlier, holding it up as well. A fabric hair tie with a cute strawberry charm attached to it.
Teamwork makes the dream work. They both high-fived again, and Ari giggled at their antics.
"望月あかり- 何してるの？(Mochizuki Akari, what are you doing?)" Germany asked dramatically in some deep anime voice, trying his best to wrangle on her socks. Ari squealed, flailing around in her dress like it was the end of the world. But by the way she was giggling and bright-eyed, it was kind of obvious she was doing it to tease them.
Russia snorted, holding in laughter as he gathered up her hair again and trying to keep steady with all her movements. Her pale hair was so thin and soft like literal thread, so it kept slipping out of his hands, wispy locks falling out left and right.
"Germany this isn't helping. Try catching her focus on something?" He said with slight exasperation, smoothing down the poofy fabric of her skirt. Germany thought quickly and grabbed the silvery metal toy from her, rattling it around.
"Ari! Look at this! You still haven't figured it out, have you?"
She babbled again as she reached for it, calming when Germany scooched over to sit closer, letting her touch. Russia finally got a proper grip on her hair, attempting to form it into some decent style. Buns? Just one?
His only reference were the cute photos that South Korea would share in their group chat, family outings where they were all dressed up, and Ari's hair was neatly done into two tiny space buns, barely noticeable unless you zoomed in.
"I'll show you. See?" Germany explained, holding the toy with both hands. With some manipulation, hoops twisting and weaving around the tangle of others, each with a tiny gap that could be slipped through, he finally got one silver circle free with a metallic 'clink', giving it to her.
Ari had quieted down considerably, staring with fascination at the single hoop she was holding now. She grabbed the rest of the toy from him, fiddling around with it.
"How's this?" Russia piped up. He'd managed to stand the majority of her hair together at the top of her head, the white strands gathered together to form a little short sprout. Germany snickered. "Yeah. Do that."
He pulled the hair tie taut between three fingers, and got to work tying the little hair sprout up securely, adjusting the strawberry charm properly.
"Маленькая лук- (Little onion-)" Russia burst out in laughter once he got a good look at her, touching up the wispy stray hairs on the sides of her head and tucking them behind her tiny ears. Ari blinked obliviously, still turning and moving her toy around.
"She looks cute!" Germany protested on her behalf, already fawning over her and her cutest little outfit. "Hold still, I'm taking photos."
Russia couldn't get himself put together quick enough, so a couple of photos was of him with tears in his eyes from laughing, a wide mid-laugh grin spread across his face. Those could never be shared, but Germany would save those on a private file, one where only the two of them could access.
"She's a strawberry, not a onion. Look this is just the stem-!" Germany continued to protest, picking her up and setting her onto his own lap, her poofy skirt spilling out.
"Зеленый лук- (Green onion-)" Russia snickered again once his phone was set aside, slouching and leaning his cheek against one hand. Germany glared at him playfully, before breaking into a smile as well. "Okay fair enough yeah. Little green onion sprout."
A metallic 'clink' stopped their teasing for a moment, both of them looking down. In one of Ari's hands was another single silver hoop, and she was looking back and forwards between it and the rest in her other hand.
"You did it!! Oh my god she totally did that!" Germany exclaimed joyfully, clapping his hands, nearly leaping for joy, holding her on either side and tickling her slightly, getting an excited shriek.
"Kluges kleines Mädchen!! I knew you could do it!!"
Russia simply smiled as well in response to his boyfriend's happiness, watching him fumble to stand up, holding her securely in his arms and almost dancing with glee, Ari's dress fluttering in the faint breeze.
When the doorbell rang, they were both momentarily confused. "That's weird. Japan said she would be here at 11:30." A glance at the clock on the wall only pointed at 11.
"I'll go look." Russia volunteered, picking himself up and heading downstairs. The doorbell had got off several times in succession impatiently at this point, and faintly, he was starting to get an idea of who it could be. But said person shouldn't be here right now.
Their doorbell was going to be at risk of breaking if they kept pressing the button at this rate, so half-reluctantly, Russia had to open the door.
"WHERE IS SHE. How DARE Japan gatekeep this information from Me, Her Godfather!!!" Italy shouted at the top of his lungs, violently removing his sunglasses off the perch of his nose as he marched in, leather boots and all, tossing his few belongings to one side with practiced ease. "What's up, Russ."
"GERMANIAAA-" Italy shrieked again like some sort of battle cry, beginning to ascend the stairs.
"Where's Japan?" Russia asked faintly, not really wanting to get into this mess but also concerned for the child's safety.
"Oh, she's on the way here. I just drive faster than her." Italy answered him easily. Russia knew based on past experience that he probably floored the gas pedal and possibly violated several traffic laws.
"Was zur Hölle Are You Doing Here?!!" Germany's voice screamed back in a blend of German and English. Russia was tempted to get some popcorn and see how this would play out.
"Why Do YOU get Babysitting privileges!!! IT'S NOT FAIR- Oh my Capelli D'Angelo."
It seemed that Germany had brought out their only valuable worth protecting as a weapon, and was now brandishing little Ari like a sacred talisman, hypnotizing the rabid Italian with her pure strawberry cuteness.
"Yeah- now back down. You won't win here." Germany said, taking slow steps as he made Italian rush back down the stairs.
"Okay- okay. I yield. Just- letmeholdherohmygodshe'ssocute-"
Golden eyes flinted down, face grimacing in displeasure. "Shoes off in the house."
Italy's boots were flying towards the doorway faster than Ari could speak, cooing softly at the sight of a new person. Italy held his hands up in surrender, nearly vibrating with his excitement.
"C'mon Ger- you can't do this to me. I wanna hold her!! She's so big now!! Look at that dress!! South Korea has fantastic taste- I just wanna say hi, maybe she remembers me!"
"You think she'd remember you from the day she was born?" Germany questioned incredulously, finally walking down the staircase and lowering his arms slightly. Ari was kind of heavy.
"Maybe?? I've been betrayed, Ger-Ger. Japan didn't even tell me she was here. Me, her Godfather. Can you imagine that. And she choose you of all people to take care of Ari-"
"Like You could've taken care of her?" Germany asked again, raising an eyebrow extremely high.
"Well- no. The ADHD would be no help." Italy admitted, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly.
"Also- Since When Were You Her Godfather???"
"Since she was Born-" Italy hissed, forest green eyes piercingly sharp.
"You are Not-"
"Am too!!"
Their screaming match started up again, arguing about who was her legal guardian or something like that. Germany set Ari gently down on the couch before rolling his sleeves.
Russia was just here for the drama at this point. Another car pulled up outside their house, and he perked up, scooping up Ari before heading out calmly with her to reunite her with her parents.
"Hey again. Do you wanna just come take her stuff and leave?" He said simply when Japan stepped out first, walking quickly towards her daughter with a somewhat happy expression on her face. "Mama!! Baba!!!"
Even from outside, they could kind of make out what was happening inside.
"What have you even been Feeding the poor thing??!! She only deserves the highest of highest quality, and if anyone can deliver that, it's ME!! Has she tasted her first homemade Italian pasta sauce yet??! NO!!"
"SHE'S 10 MONTHS OLD!!"
"AAAA IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY AS HER GODFATHER-"
Japan sighed exasperatedly, kind of regretting answering Italy's texts earlier this morning. At its core, it was full of fondness though, and she shook her head, pink eyes narrowing. "It's okay. I'll handle this."
And when Japan handled things, she meant business. Russia held onto Ari as she marched up towards the house, and went to join the fray. Ari was wriggling around, arms outstretched towards her father in her joy.
South Korea ran up to take her and hug her tight, chattering away in Korean. "You're wearing the dress I bought you!! Is it nice? Do you like it?"
"Thanks for taking care of her, Russ." He said with relief, bumping their shoulders together fondly while grinning. Russia only grinned back, leading them into the house again.
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We leave the ending ambiguous because it's possible that Italy and Germany might've annihilated each other with their love for Akari hah-
Also Italy isn't actually her godfather(I'm so sorry my boy) because the concept of a godfather doesn't exactly exist in Japanese or Korean culture if I recall correctly?
But they're all her uncles because family is not related by blood it's who you choose to be with-
Akari will have the biggest international protection squad ever, most well protected baby ever HAHA
Also! Two new ideas could stem from this oneshot, one is kind of unrelated but it's still something that I think is interesting:
(1) (Fluff) The story of how exactly Akari came to exist. Like- Japan and South Korea happened to get married reallyyy fast. There was a lot of gossip and tea, Germany and Russia are undeniably gay.
(2) (Angst) I will be attempting to write about North Korea for the first time ever. I headcanon that ever since the Korean war and stuff, North Korea has been trapped inside his country ever since by his government. No one knows if he's doing okay, it's radio silence. The only way they know he's not dead is through a sort of twin-link with South Korea(Since they're technically the same person but split). Basically over the years, the only person that has seen him alive so far is our resident Russian. Since their governments meet sometimes, Russia does his best to ask for permission to see him and just check up on him to reassure the rest of their countryhuman community. The North Korean government isn't exactly happy with this and is always on edge because they don't want any secrets spilled. I'm not sure how much research I should delve into since Countryhumans are fictional, but I guess we'll see?
Don't Worry! I still have a TON of other ideas I need to write!!! If you don't like those, that's okay!! There's so much more I have to share with you guys and adfafbb my only limit is school and stress :')
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day/night!!!