The chapter starts with Y/n and his pets on yunjing terrace waiting for the rite of descension to begin.
Y/n: Hmmmm ... Titties ... must suck ... I need to get back to mondstadt so I can suck Lisa's titties.
Rex : Y/n .
Y/n:
Rex: Y/N !
Y/n : Oh , what ... don't scream at me like that !
Rex: Are you daydreaming about titties again ?
Y/n: Maybe ...
Paimon: Hey look the rite of descension is about to begin!
Y/n: Oh yeah I gotta ask the archon of rocks about my friend and ... damn boi , who's that milf ?
Y/n looked at the lady with white hair and red that was about to summon, the geo archon.
Ningguang " the sugar mommy"
Y/n:
Y/n: SHE HAS TITTIES LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO ! Oh wait ... her titties are not as big as Lisa titties :(
Rex: Y/n stop looking at her boobs , she's about to start the rite of descension .
Y/n: My disappointment is ... immeasurable... and my day is ruined .
Paimon: Stop arguing you 2 , the rite of descension is about to begin !
Y/n and Rex looked at Ningguang who started preparing herself to summon Rex lapis .
Y/n: She has white hair and red eye , is she related to razor or something ?
Ningguang: The hour is upon us.
The tianquan summoned 2 rocks that started flying around her while she was doing some goofy ahh moves with her fingers just like naruto, and the rocks started spinning like a beyblade before finally being put inside the shrine.
After that a fucking beam emerged from the shrine and the cloud also became a beyblade and it formed a yellow tornado.
Y/n: I have a bad feeling about this ...
Rex: My spider senses are telling we gonna get in trouble.
Paimon: Don't worry , nothing bad is going to happen, Paimon is 100% sure the situation is under contro-
And out a nowhere a giant dragon fell from the sky , breaking the shrine in the process.
Y/n: See , I told you .
Ningguang checked the body , and after she came to the conclusion it was dead she ordered the millelith to ... arrest everyone.
Ningguang: Rex lapis has been killed , seal the exits!
Rex: What !? You gotta be joking with me , I was so happy I shared the same name with a fucking God , why did he had die now !
Y/n: That's rough buddy .
The millelith quickly surrounded the crowd and the body , and they started interrogating everyone in the place.
Paimon: Oh no, the Millelith! Looks like they're nabbing suspects who got too close. Paimon's freaking out. The killer is amongst us!
Y/n: SUS .
Rex: quick let's get the fuck outta here before the millelith do something stupid .
Y/n: Yeah we gotta get out of here-
When Y/n was about to run away from the place he stubbed his toe on a fucking step .
And he did this face:
Y/n: WHO wAs the GEnius wHo deCIDED to put a FUCKING STEP herE !
Y/n kicked the ground with his geo powers shattering the ground.
Y/n: Don't fuck with me stupid steps .
Obviously the millelith are useless too but they are not as dumb as the knights, they noticed what Y/n was doing and they quickly surrounded him .
Random Millelith : They're here!
Anothe random Millelith: Arrest them!
Rex: Y/n , you're a fucking genius .
Y/n: Thanks :)
Paimon: W-wait , we are innocent, we didn't killed Rex lapis !
The guards ignored Paimon and they started to approach Y/n slowly.
Rex: Now what the plan gEnIuS !?
Y/n: Its pretty simple ... we fight.
Rex: What ?
Paimon: WHAT !? ARE YOU CRAZY , THEY THINK YOU KILLED AN ARCHON , THEY PROBABLY WILL SEND ALL THE FORCES THEY HAVE ON YOU IF YOU TRY TO FIGHT THEM !
Y/n: Yeah you're right , in this case , a sane man would run , but I ain't the running kind .
Rex: That's unfortunate because we are getting the fuck outta here .
Rex turned himself into a gorilla and carried Y/n and Paimon out of the place , while having an epic batle with the stairs they got surrounded by the millelith again .
Anothe random Millelith: There's nowhere to run !
Y/n: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 8 ! Well you guys think you are in the advantage because this is a 8v2 right ? But unfortunately for you this is not a 8v2 ... THIS IS A 2V8 BITCHES !
???: Hey girlie hold still !
Out of nowhere ed Sheeran appears and with a 2 star bow he defeat the guard standing in front of Y/n, then he summoned 2 water blades and defeated the rest of guards .
Y/n: My kills have been stolen .
Ed sheeran: Come with me.
Ed Sheeran runs away and the gang for some reason decided to follow him , but Y/n stopped for a few seconds to discard something he didn't wanted in his inventory .
He threw this piece of shit on a random millelith.
Y/n: Know your fucking place ... trash !
Timeskip
Paimon: *Panting* Phew... Paimon's exhausted...
Rex: Just what muscles does magical floating use exactly?
Paimon: So insensitive! You have no idea just how tiring floating arou- Wait!
And she noticed ed sheeran looking at them .
Paimon: Just who are you exactly?
???: Call me Childe.
Chil- OH SHIT WRONG PIC
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Childe " Can't crit"
Paimon: Childe? What, so we're supposed to dote on you?
Childe: Haha, no no, not at all. It's an alias of sorts. In Mondstadt, I don't suppose you came across a bitch called "Signora" by any chance?
Paimon: Signora... Childe...
Y/n: Analysis ...
Paimon: You're Fatui! One of the Harbingers!
Rex: A harbinger !?
Y/n: FIGHT ME !
Childe: Oh, no. Don't worry, I'm not looking for a fight.
Press X to doubt.
Childe: Signora gave you quite the bad impression huh? Tsk, that woman... Can't say I'm a fan either. Right, let's forget all about her, shall we? I'm here to help you.
Y/n: Help?
Childe: Yes. Help, it starts with an H then it comes an E after the E there's L and it ends with P , H-E-L-P.
Y/n: I don't need help from the Fatui, fatui literally means stupid in another language.
Childe: Come now, don't be like that. I may be one of the Harbingers, but hear me out. I'm not a bad guy...
Rex: That's what all bad guys say ...
Childe: Ok perhaps I am a bad guy, but that doesn't mean I am a bad guy , also I'm not here to give you any trouble. Would it be too much to ask for you to keep all these swords sheathed?
Y/n:
He decided to put all the swords back in his inventory.
Childe: Haha, I thank you for your knightly nobility, Traveler. I heard of your deeds in Mondstadt, so I couldn't help but notice you during the proceedings back there, I also expected someone of your reputation to be a litle hmmm older. And because I had my eye on you the whole time, I know it wasn't you. Someone else was clearly behind it. But... regrettably, given I'm a Fatui envoy from Snezhnaya... there's no way I'd be trusted after something of this magnitude. The ruling Qixing of Liyue has always been overly SUSpicious of us.
Paimon: Well can you honestly blame them?
Childe: Hahaha. Guess I shouldn't try to deny that. Okay, sure. Maintaining a distance between strangers is probably a good idea. Either way, I'm already used to it at this stage. But right now, if you want to clear yourselves of any suspicion - you need to get yourselves to Northland Bank. Staying here isn't an option. As the old Liyue saying goes: "The walls have ears."
Y/n: Hmmmm so everyone in this city is schizophrenic... just like me ... nice :)
TO THE NORTHLAND BACK !
Paimon: Northland Bank...
Childe: Correct. This bank was opened here in Liyue by Snezhnaya. Though everyone knows Liyue is the most enterprising in Teyvat, Snezhnaya is not short of change either.
Paimon: Yeah well, poorer nations don't seem the type to have diplomats that come around acting the way yours do towards the Knights of Favonius.
Childe: Eh-hehehehe... Here, let me give you this.
Childe gave Y/n a ... piece of paper.
Paimon: This is a...
Childe: I'm not sure, exactly. Sometimes, all money can buy is "things" and not a name for oneself. All I know is that it's a sigil. A sigil to keep the "mighty and illuminated adepti" from bringing harm to you.
Paimon: Adepti?
Childe: If you head north from the harbor, then west from Guili Plains, you will eventually reach a stone forest known an Jueyun Karst. The people of Liyue believe it to be the abode of the adepti.
Y/n: They really believe that? Isn't it just a legend?
Childe: Legend or not, they believe it. As such, offerings to the adepti are made at its borders. Nobody dares venture in. But I have no need for believing - not when I know for a fact that the adepti truly exist.
Paimon: Hate to admit it but your Fatui intel seems alright. But, why would we go looking for adepti anyway?
Childe: Ha, oh my little friend. There are plenty of reasons mortals seek the blessings of adepti. Money, health, love... But you... you will go for justice.
Paimon: Justice?
Childe: The Qixing will already have dispatched the Millelith. They'll be seeking out the assassin from amongst the onlookers. But how could a mere mortal kill a god that can sweep aside entire armies? Rex Lapis never gave up his power as a god. This level of crude response is beyond what is called for. How suspicious...
Y/n: So you think the Qixing are the one who killed Lex Rapis and they trying to put all the fault in someone else so they can become super strong and create and army even stronger than the fatui and try to dominate teyvat ?
Childe: Your thinking is even more radical than my own, Honorary Knight.
Y/n: Sorry , that was a strange thing to ask.
Childe: Even now, the Northland Bank wouldn't be able to hold the Millelith off for long, but the adepti can clear you of any wrongdoing.Liyue was founded by the Geo Archon and the adepti - of course, it was built by force.Look for them. And be faster than the Qixing's messengers, so you may give your version of events first. If there is anyone that can help you in Liyue now, it can only be the mighty and illuminated adepti.
Y/n: Alright then , it's time for a speedrun ! Let's bullshit our way towards the mountains where the adepti live so we can spread some fake news !
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Chapter end