I lied across his bare chest as he gently ran his fingers through my hair, our bodies so lovingly intertwined as we basked in the heat of our enchanted afterglow. He was mine, just as he was always meant to be, completely and entirely.. mine.
His gentle humming echoed in my ears as I cuddled closer.
Still you know I'll try again
'Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we have stolen manners
In the days we were one
Peeking up at him, I could see the subtle outline of his face illuminated by the warm lights just outside the window that overlooked the town.
"Was that good?" I finally asked, despite loving the heartfelt silence we had submerged ourselves in. His lips slowly curved into a smile as he looked back down at me, his fingers gently brushing against my cheek.
"You are amazing, Jaime." He sighed, his eyelids now getting heavier. My heart jumped.
"But.. w-was it-" He cut me off, pulling me into a tired kiss.
"Yes." He giggled, pulling me over next to him. "That was very good."
I nuzzled my face in his neck, breathing in the faint smell of his cologne that was slowly overcome by his familiar scent that I loved so much; remaining traces of him that lingered on my new favorite clothes, all of which were his.
He then slowly turned to face me, his tired eyes moving down to my lips as his hands found their way into my hair again, pulling me into a deep, tender kiss. I kissed him back harder, my heart now racing at the slightest touch, needing him that much more again, just wanting to take advantage of what time we still had left.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't pry myself away from him; the both of us adhered together like magnets, not wanting to waste a single moment not entirely consumed within each other before the morning sun inevitably crept above the horizon, stripping us of one more night together.
Time was so unforgiving; so greedy in the sense of how long it took us just to get to this moment, but how quickly he would soon be ripped away from me, and for what? To share him with the rest of the world? They didn't know him like I knew him. They would never love him as deeply as I loved him, and yet they were the one's who would get but a fraction of his time, night after night, while I lied awake alone at home, counting down the minutes until he was back in my arms again.
I know it was selfish, but now, after everything..
I just couldn't share him.
I pushed my self up to face him, wrapping myself with the once perfectly pressed blankets that were now wrinkled and sparse. He forced his eyes back open, staring up at me.
"Hey.." He whispered, grabbing onto the blanket, pulling me in closer. "Are you okay?" I shrugged, staring back into those eyes that could make me melt instantaneously, despite feeling the frigid ache of loneliness start to take hold.
He sat back up against the pillows as he pulled me up against him. I lied my head back onto his chest as his fingers slowly glided up and down my back.
"What are you thinking about?" He finally asked.
"We only have a few more days." I admitted. He was quiet for a moment, eventually nodding.
"Yeah.." He sighed. "But.. we could have the best few more days." I nodded.
"Or.." He added. I peeked back up at him as his lips curled into a subtle grin.
"Or?"
"Or.. you can come with me." I sighed, cuddling closer under his arm.
"Jake.." He reached up, caressing my face again, pulling me into a passionate kiss. I didn't hesitate to maneuver myself back into his lap, kissing him back harder.
"I can't do this without you, Jaime." He whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. "I.. I can't stop thinking about it and.. I've never done this without you. So.. now that it's finally happening, I just.. I can't imagine you not there. My dream.. has always included you. Without you.. I just.. I don't want it."
"You know I want to, but I just.. I can't leave-"
"Please."
"I'll always call, and.. when you guys come home, I can go-"
"I need you, Jaime."
I knew that I was in way too deep now, how badly I needed him too, but that didn't change just how much I knew my mom actually needed me. What if something happened while I was gone? I would never be able to forgive myself. I'd never be able to leave the house again, terrified it would be the last time I would ever see her.
"I.. I can't." I managed, despite just how badly it killed me. He nodded, his face dropping as he leaned into a gentle kiss.
"Okay.." He sighed, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me back up against him. I held on tight, hiding my face in his chest again, feeling myself slowly start drifting off to sleep to the gentle beating of his heart.
The Next Morning
I reached over, feeling for any sign of Jake across the gigantic bed. Nothing. Finally forcing my eyes open, I could see the covers pushed off to the side, now hearing the gentle hum of the bathroom fan against the sound of his quiet singing from the shower.
I wish he sang more.
I always loved when he sang.
I sat up, wrapping the loose sheet around me as I made my way into the bathroom, peeking into the doorway. I was hit with a wall of steam, the overwhelmingly sweet scent of the hotel soap filling the air as he instantly turned to face me at the sound of the door. Flashing me a wide grin, he slid open the glass door, pushing the wet hair out of his face.
"Well, good morning." He giggled, reaching out for me, grabbing onto the sheet and pulling me towards him. He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me into a quick kiss.
"Good morning." I sighed, praying I wouldn't wake up from this dream any time soon.
"Are you gonna join me?" He asked, motioning into the shower. I hesitated for a moment, looking over, realizing it was probably the biggest shower I had ever seen in my entire life, and when was I going to get an opportunity like this with him again. Looking back up at him, I nodded, trying to hide my giddy grin. He reached out, yanking the sheet off of me before helping me into the steaming hot water, pulling me into a passionate kiss.
I had never really imagined what married life would be like. The only thing I've ever had to base it off of were the moments I watched my parents together. Sunday mornings were my favorite. My dad would always get up early, and I would wake up to the house smelling of pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice, his off-tune humming echoing up the stairs and into my bedroom. I'd rush down, careful not to wake my mom, just to have those few minutes alone with him as we sang together, his strong hands guiding mine as I clutched the ladle, pouring the lumpy batter into the sizzling pan.
When Mom finally made her way down, she greeted us with a tired smile, lifting me into her arms as Dad finished breakfast. After we ate, I'd hear them making their way back upstairs, where their off-tune humming and laughter continued into the eventual steamed-up bathroom.
I loved knowing that they were once as happy as I was right now.
With him, I felt complete, like the idea of a future like my parents had was actually possible. Over the years, I had heard the horror stories that were the parents of classmates and friends, and every day I realized how lucky I truly was, despite how short-lived it may have been. But with every disappointing story of heartbreak and broken homes, I slowly but surely lost hope that I would ever get to wake up to a kitchen that smelt of pancakes and freshly squeezed juice as my husband helped our son or daughter prepare breakfast together.
And then suddenly, I was staring back into his eyes and with every touch, every kiss, those dreams seemed a little less hopeless, and suddenly my imagination was filled with a kitchen filled with little ones who's eyes matched the one who was staring right back at me, hoping maybe.. he felt the same way.