Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces...

By rootin-tootin-sandy

422K 16.8K 4.2K

Draco Malfoy was going to marry Harry Potter. It didn't matter that he was only eleven and had technically on... More

In Love For the First Time
Exchanging Bracelets and Dobby ships Drarry
Wands & Ice Cream-Draco Tries to Fight an Old Man
Narcissa will Murder this Muggle and No, Lucius You Can't Stop Me!
The Train: Harry's Worried He's Going to Get Head Lice
Bullying and the Library-Hermione Joins a Cult
Azkaban & Classes-Sirius Objects to This Marriage!
Love Confessions & Parents- Lucius Unintentionally Bribes the Hufflepuff House
Broken Bones and Gingers: Harry Thinks He Can Throw Hands
Essay's & Detention: Hermione's in Her Villain Era
Sirius & Black Family Drama-Narcissa vs Andromeda
Goblins and Jealousy-Let the Holiday Season Begin!
Peacocks and Dress Robes-Malfoy's Know How to Party
Ginny and Neville's Gran-Severus Should've Thrown Himself Down Those Stairs
Snowmen & Promise Rings-Harry Finally Gets His Revenge
Granny and Hide N Seek-Lucius Gets a New Kitchen
Board Meetings & Bedtime Stories-Arthur Weasley Knows Malfoy is Up To Something
Club Meetings & Broom Closets-Harry Learns a New Word
Misunderstandings & the Weasley Twins-Narcissa Is In It To Win It
Going Back to Hogwarts-Watch Out For the Murder Swamp
Parseltongue & Fights-Harry Really Really Really Likes Snakes
Sleepovers & Wands-Tonks is Not Afraid of Werewolves
Lying & Weapons-Severus Is Just So Proud
Rats & Tea-Harry Is Soooooo Clumsy
Beetles & Wedding Bells-Remus Ships Snack(Snape/Black)
Love Bugs & Dragons-Sirius Is Going To Have a Heart Attack
Puppy Love & Knitting-Sirius Knew It!
School Board Meeting-Weasley/Granger Inspire Fear in the Hearts of Everyone
Birthday Traditions & Rita Skeeter-Cedric Diggory is Not A Home Wrecker
First Dates & Trains-Neville Has a Moat? Wicked!
Sunrises & Beaches-Harry Doesn't Actually Know How to Swim
Grangers & Quidditch- Sirius Will Not Allow Harry to Grow Up!
Viktor & Brass Knuckles-Harry is Lost! If Found, Please Return to Draco
Crushes & Crocodiles-Neville Gets Hit On
Pickles & Moving- Remus Doesn't Know How All of These Kids Broke Into His House
Pigs in Wigs & Lava-Cedric Should Get Money When Someone Calls Him a Pervert
Baking & Talks-Draco Fainted and It's Totally Normal!
Shopping & Veela-Draco Finally Gets to Use His Brass Knuckles
Lunch & Birthdays-Harry Should Change His Name to Cupid
Invitations & Mean Girls-Harry Gets Jealous!
Promises & Law Suits-Harry Destroys a Building and Draco Finds It So Attractive
Candles & Chaperone's-Lucius's Precious Son Wants to Be Just Like Him!
Breaking In & Snake Reunions-Porkchop Can't Stop Stress Eating
Nargles & Dave-Even the Dead Are Tired Of Hearing About Drarry
Tomatoes & Cake-Hermione and the Twins Team Up For the Best Present Ever
Goodbyes & Lockhart-Gabrielle Is Learning Parseltongue to Scare the Students
Fame & Enemies-Lockhart Has a Type and It's Greasy Dungeon Bats
Stress Balls & Dueling Club-Lockhart Is Having a Terrible Day
Secret Tunnels & Snacks-Harry Is Out to Get Lockhart
Newspapers & Former Professor's-Moaning Myrtle Is a Peeping Tom
Basilisks & Fish-No Frogs or Bugs Were Injured In the Name of Vengeance
Weasley Family Smackdown-Bellatrix Really Likes Butterscotch
Flu Season & Truths-Harry Is A Blabbermouth When He's Sick
Fist Fights & Muggles-Everyone Is Angry and They Are Going To Show It
Cupboards & Puke-Amelia Can't Wait to Feed These Muggles to the Dementors
Unicorns & Snakeskin-Cedric Diggory Has a Giant Squid Tattoo On His Back?
Bear Mace & Allies-Sirius Was NOT a Late Bloomer!
Bangs & Slurs-Sirius Will Use This Fork as a Murder Weapon.
Nunchucks & Piercings-Bill Weasley Is a Bad Influence
Bonding Time & Dresses-Hermione Is Not Enjoying Puberty
Snowballs Fights & Yule-Harry's a Mother Now
Family Photos & Lemon Drops-Harry Vs Fawkes!
Hearts & Cuddles-Angels Visit Hogwarts!
Prefect's Bathroom & Quidditch-Cho Will Read Your Fortune For Five Galleons!
Palm Readings & Feasts-Ron Has Boy Crush
Rubber Duckies & Wedding Binders-Ron Got to Touch a Stingray
Weddings & Poisons-Draco and Harry Are Separated For the First Time
Proposals & Fashion Shows-Hermione Shows Off Her Rage Room
Sentient Bushes & Toast-Reunited and It Feels So Good
Fish & Gossip-Oliver Wood Wants Answers and He Wants Them NOW
Dates & New Students- Cedric Is Going To Die
Reactions & Investigations-Ron's First Instinct Is To Fight
Dragons & Giants-The First Task
Wand Weighing & Eggs-Harry and Cedric Share the Same Bath?
Suspects & Necklaces-The Second Task (Harry Isn't Good At Riddles)
Parties & Marcy(Percy/Marcus)-Viktor's Broom Has a Name and He Loves Her!
Leather Pants & Quidditch-It's Valentine's Day and Everyone Is Getting Romanced!
Bondings & The Pit-Harry Wants to Have More Children Than The Weasley's
Brawls & a Sphinx-the Third Task (Part One)
Spiders & Crouch-the Third Task (Part Two)
Dark Lords & Funerals-Fleur Is Terrifying Everyone With Her Giant Crab Leg
Teeth & Paper Cranes-Bellatrix Is Going To Harry's Wedding, No Matter What!
Vultures & Candy-Harry Is Already Threatening People
Proposals & Strikes-Does Bigfoot Really Exist?
Thrones & Groundings-Our Boy Chad To the Rescue!
Quidditch & Luna- Neville Refuses To Look at Anyone's Arse!
Costumes & Seeing Double-Hermione Is Such An Icon
Pouting and Snow-the Hunger Games Meets a Snowball Fight
Marcy & Nurmengard-Grandaddy Grindelwald Is a Drarry Shipper!
Another Ball & Suits-Pretty Boy Diggory Will Never Get Rid Of His Nickname
Children & Clubs-It's Not Breaking In If The Door Was Already "Open"!
Holy Jokes & MHU-Lucius Is a Trendsetter
Petitions & Cookies-Hermione Summons a Demon (No! It's Not Illegal!)
Crookshanks & Cake-House Elves Love Lucius Malfoy
Pockets & Nargles-There Is a Bear Running Around Hogwarts!
Bachelor Parties & Holding Cells-Ron Looks So Cool With One Eyebrow!
Scary Luna & Recovery-The HFC Swears Off Of Drinking!
Knights & Tea Leaves-Harry Is Missing! If Found, Please Inform Draco Immediately
Wedding Jitters & Gossip-Draco Loves His New Sweater
Invites & Criminals-Sirius Is Tired Of People Breaking Into His House
Exams & Handkerchiefs-Crookshanks Refuses To Eat Actual Cat Food!
Graduation & Rituals- Albus Dumbledore Gets What's Coming To Him, Finally!
Black Family Shenanigans & Azkaban Breakouts-The Wedding (Part One)
Stabbings & Twister- The Wedding (Part Two)

Rat Bones & Quidditch-Harry Makes An Excellent Cheerleader

3.2K 140 25
By rootin-tootin-sandy

Bellatrix watched the dementors drag the blonde man out of her cell. Took them long enough, she thought with a sniff. There was blood and fingernails everywhere! She knew she lived in a dump but she still had standards.
"Black! Letter for you." The guard threw it at her cell and hurried off. Nice to know she still struck fear in the hearts of wizards everywhere. Opening the letter, she narrowed her eyes as she saw who it was from.
"Dear Mrs. Black,
My name is Harry Potter. Mr. Malfoy said you were going to take care of Lockhart so thanks for that. It's a shame you're so crazy or we could become pen pals. If the Dark Lord ever comes back, I'll let you hug him before Draco murders him. Mrs. Malfoy told me you liked butterscotch so here you go. Sorry it's covered in fuzz. Sirius told me you tortured Neville's parents so I made sure to roll it on the ground in the owlry. So I'm not really sorry.
Love Harry." She took out the filthy hard candy and plucked off all the feathers.
"Bella, please don't tell me you're going to eat that." Her husband's voice echoed from down the hall. She just popped it into her mouth instead of answering. The flavors burst in her mouth and she sighed in happiness. She loved butterscotch. When the Dark Lord was still around, she ate it with every meal. Sucking on the candy, she read the letter again.
Perhaps the Potter boy was alright. At least he had manners. Maybe she could convince her master not to rip the boy to shreds when he returned. Sharpening her rat bones, she hummed off tune to the sound of the other prisoners' screams.

~~~~~~

Draco watched his Mother show the students a proper dueling stance and couldn't help puffing up with pride. She was an outstanding duelist and it was about time she got the recognition she deserved.
"Alright! Who would like to see a real duel?" His Father asked and the Gryffindor's in his class shouted their excitement. His Father was surprisingly popular among the students.
"Let's welcome our surprise guest, Professor Flitwick!" Their Charms Professor came in, waving enthusiastically at the cheers he received. Everyone knew he was a world renowned duelist. It was one of the main reasons no one acted up in his class. His Mother was bouncing in excitement and his Father was watching every move. The duel began and it was insane. Spells were flying back and forth quicker than he could process. His Mother ripped a chunk of the ceiling out and Flitwick transfigured it into a flock of birds.
"Expelliarmus!" His Mother's wand flew out of her hand and everyone held their breath. She didn't stop her advancement and pulled daggers out of her sleeves. Professor Flitwick just grinned and took out a knife from his boot. They met in the middle and Draco couldn't compare it to anything but a dance. They moved so fluidly. Twirling and dodging their opponents next moves, it was breathtaking. It eventually came to a draw, neither one giving an inch.
"And that's why you need to learn self defense, children! Cissy would have been a dead flobberworm without her wand but she used her skills to her advantage! I want a two page essay on the best technique to use when losing your wand! It's due Friday. Class dismissed." As the other students left, he watched his Mother smack his Father's arse. Wicked, another traumatizing memory to store away.
"You did a wonderful job, darling." She gushed and he was horrified to see his Father blushing.
"Thank you for dueling with me, Filius."
"It was my pleasure, dear. I haven't had that much fun in ages." Draco rolled his eyes and before he left said "by the way Mother, half of Hogwarts thinks Father and Uncle are in a relationship. I heard the Ravenclaw's are taking bets on who you will murder first."

~~~~~

Harry stared at the mangy owl that had delivered his letter. It was missing an eye and looked like it had lost a fight with a lawnmower. Gingerly taking the letter from its claw, he carefully opened it.
"Dear Potter
Thank you for the butterscotch. It is my favorite candy. Don't worry about Lockhart, he's dementor food now. When the Dark Lord returns, I will try and have him spare you. Don't count on it though. I can't imagine how wounded his pride is to be murdered by a baby. Please tell little Longbottom if we ever meet, I will give him one free stabbing. It's the least I could do.
Love Bella"
He shook something out of the envelope and a thin bone fell out. It seemed she had made him some sort of shank? Wicked. He tucked it into his braid. Maybe he could stab the Headmaster with it. He went to search for Draco when he ran into Tonks.
"Wotcher Harry! Did you hear about Professor Snape and Uncle Lucius? Absolutely scandalous!" She snickered, her hair a pretty blonde color today.
"Tonks! We both know that's just a nasty rumor someone made up." She slung her arm around his shoulder and said "I'll have you know there's nothing nasty about it! I would know, I made it up." Harry giggled at the older girl's admission.
"I heard Mrs. Malfoy is going to duel Mr. Severus at dawn and whoever wins, will conquer Mr. Malfoy's heart."
"Well I heard that Professor Snape is already dead and it's his undying love that keeps him going." They both laughed at how ridiculous everyone was being before going to the kitchens. A warm cup of cocoa sounded wonderful in the cool weather. Soon it would be Yule again and he couldn't wait for everyone to be together again.

~~~~~~

Viktor Krum sighed as he tried to finish his homework. He never seemed to get caught up. It probably didn't help that he left it for the last minute because he was so focused on Quidditch. He glanced at the picture he had framed on his desk. It was a picture of Harry and Heir Malfoy making snowmen. He and Harry wrote to each other every couple of months. He had almost had a heart attack when he heard about Bubbles. Honestly, how was his school still open with all of the shenanigans Harry got into? He thought about writing to Heir Malfoy about Harry's love for danger but figured his Father would be upset if he had to duel so young. He tried to focus on finishing his school work but decided he deserved a break and reached for his broom.
Flying through the air, he felt his muscles relax. Harry had told him Heir Malfoy was going to try out for their school team and he was curious if he was any good. He would love to play against him. Maybe the prize could be a kiss from Harry. He couldn't help but snort at the image he created. He had no romantic feelings for his younger friend but he thought the Malfoy boy's reactions were hilarious and couldn't help himself.
"Oi! Viktor! The Headmaster says if you fall behind in class, he will be furious." His classmate shouted out to him. He reluctantly landed and went back to his desk. He would die if he couldn't play Quidditch. Two hours later he finally finished his school work and flopped down on his bed. Perhaps he would see if Harry wanted to come visit him. He couldn't wait to hear about Heir Malfoy's reaction to his offer!

~~~~~~

"I won't take it easy on you just because you're Harry's little boyfriend." Hermione snorted at Flint's words. The whole club plus Luna and Percy had shown up to cheer on their President. It was finally Quidditch season and everyone seemed to go barmy. She had seen Professor McGonagall shouting plays back and forth with Oliver Wood over breakfast. It was a shame Wood and Flint weren't in the same House. They would have been unstoppable.
"Has anyone seen Harry?" George whispered to them and they all shook their heads. It wasn't like him to miss something so important to Draco. She saw her President scan the growing crowd for his beloved before kicking off the ground. Twenty minutes into practice she was worried Draco wasn't going to make it. His heart didn't seem to be in it. Ron grabbed her shoulder and said "Look!" Running down the hill was Harry. His hair was in two ponytails and he had pompoms. His white sweater had a giant green D on the front. He grinned as he came to a stop beside them.
"Sorry I was late! It was such a pain trying to figure out how to make pompoms!" They all knew the second Draco saw Harry because he almost fell off his broom and was hanging on by one hand. He managed to pull himself up and wipe the drool running down his face.
"Go Draco! If you can't do it, no one can! I believe in you!" Harry kept shouting out encouragements while shaking his pompoms.
"Alright, I'll let you know by next week if you made the team!" Flint said and the crowd slowly started to disperse. Draco made a beeline for Harry and fell onto one knee.
"Harry my soulmate, one of these days my heart will stop beating. You are the reason I wake up every morning." Draco continued to wax poetry and she shared her handkerchief with Ron. He was actually very sensitive and they liked to share romance novels.
"If you don't make the team, I won't tell Marcus the Gryffindor password anymore!" Harry declared and she watched Percy's face fall before he chased down his boyfriend. She laughed at how cheesy everyone was and let the twins escort her towards the castle. She had just enough time to add an extra inch to her Potions essay. Professor Snape would appreciate it, she was sure.

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