Trigger Warning: descriptive flashbacks, dissociation, derealization, repressed memories, dissociative amnesia, bedrock bros
Word Count: 3124(i overdid it today sorry-)
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"Ah, so you're awake." It's no wonder the voices have been telling him that there are eyes on him.
Static.
Tommy's figure remains at the bottom of the ladder, frozen in seeing Technoblade in front of him. It wasn't in fear though, he was just..staring.
The pink haired man readjusts his mask and moves forward, despite the feeling of discomfort of being watched.
The voices have been doing a good job of that already..he doesn't need another voice from a boy that ought to be dead.
"Alright, Theseus..Uhh..you are going to be stuck with me today, whether you like it or not." He stops, finding this a bit weird; talking to someone that doesn't talk back, "So yeah, breakfast's at the kitchen..Help yourself, yeah." He awkwardly finishes before walking away, feeling warm on his cheeks.
God this is embarrassing. Babysitting a kid is the least thing he'd prefer to do.
He feels his eyes watching him as he leaves the house. Technoblade: known as one of the strongest people in the server, felt unsettled by a boy who he no longer recognizes. It's almost strange.
Clearing his mind off, he goes to the stables to check on the horses..internally disappointed of letting Phil ride on his beloved horse, Carl. He would have made him feel better for being stuck with some kid who seemed so dead.
Eyeing the stable with dull eyes, he grabs a brush and cleans a random horse. It's pointless, and this one doesn't exactly need cleaning, but it's something to work on; something to distract him.
The voices did go a little quiet due to that, but he heard the little mumbles on top of his head.
'This is stupid.'
'You're pathetic.'
'Hurt him.'
'He's watching you again.'
Twitching his pig ears at that statement, he looks back, and indeed sees Tommy stalking him by a corner.
It didn't really scare him this time, nor creeped him out, but annoyance is starting to get to him, "I did tell you to get something to eat. You look like a stick, and when I strangled you, you're like paper. Not to mention cold..it's like you're some ghost."
He begins to ramble, but didn't even realise it, "But unlike Ghostboo, you're no see-through. So I guess you're still alive..somewhere."
His attention remained at the horse, that is, until he looked up and saw Tommy even closer, "Bruh..you make a good horror movie, let me tell you that."
He chuckles, throwing the brush away from his hold, "Alright, Theseus. What do you want?" Obviously, Tommy has no plan to speak, which didn't really help Techno's temper,
"Oh right..can't talk." He sighs in defeat before walking back to the house, "Come on, let's eat together. Phil would kill me if you don't get to eat anything."
When he notices that Tommy follows from behind, he couldn't help but to smile under his mask, it goes to show he's listening.
oOo
"Phil left some pumpkin pie for you." Techno slides the plate of pie in front of the other, before munching some rough bread. His free hand holding a spoon that has his fresh potato soup.
What Tommy has is beetroot soup and a pie from the winged man, and of course, he's having a hard time taking the spoon,
"Eat already. They're getting cold." The piglin grunts, taking another bite. Tommy looks up at him, before looking down.
He lifts a hand to touch the spoon, and there Techno notices his hold was shaky, he could barely get to open his mouth that long, "Please don't..make me..spoonfeed you or something." It was a sarcastic beg, but he did try to mean it.
He'd rather kill a group of men than feed some boy who should just do it by himself.
For a moment, Tommy hunches a bit and looks away. It's almost like..as if, "Wait, are you..are you finding this funny?"
Techno's tone sounded more surprised than offended, and Tommy didn't answer his question. But he did take up his spoon once more and puts it inside his mouth,
"You're fucking weird..you know that?" He expects no less for the loudest boy he knew that walked in this land unable to reply.
oOo
"Try not to hurt yourself walking around." Technoblade calls out, flipping a page of his ancient book.
The fire is crackling, close to running out so he should add more firewood soon. He hasn't noticed Tommy going around..that is until he tends to hurt himself from bumping places to places like tripping in particular,
'He should really work on his legs right.' He chuckles internally, flipping another page, "Do you need help in there?" He asks, after hearing the poor kid falling probably by the third time.
For some reason, it didn't really bother Tommy much - falling off like that. Disregarding that he's still healing after all the pain he's gone through, he keeps walking around, but why?
Tommy's eyes blink again after minutes, checking room to room, walking- wait scratch walking but more on, he's limping..limping to another room to look around.
Soon enough, someone clasps a hand on his shoulder. The kid slowly looks back to see Techno with his other hand holding onto some firewood,
"You should be resting, Tommy...Why are you going anywhere?" He asks, stopping Tommy to get up the ladders the second time.
The kid only looked at him before moving again, but it was really easy to stop him, "Looking for something..or someone?" That made him stop, and give a little nod.
Humming, Techno realises, "Wait you're looking for Tubbo?" He nods again.
Oh shit.
The two left when he was still asleep, or at least they all think he was sleeping. Looking at the kid closely, he didn't look like he slept much, it seems like a struggle he has been dealing with now.
Swearing inaudibly, Techno gets something in his baggy pants and hands Tommy a folded paper, "Here, Tubbo left this for you."
Tommy slowly grabs onto it and tilts his head slightly, he seems unsure on what to do with it, "Go on. Open it."
Techno tells him, which did help him pull the paper open..with difficulty, with how weakly he takes each folded part open, and all the shaking despite not being cold.
Finally, he can finally see the paper...it's filled with letters, and some drawings.
"Dear Tommy,
Time is running short and I am eager to take you home as soon as I can to help you recover better. We can't stay in their cabin for too long, and since Snowchester has been temporarily abandoned, I have to get it ready for you. Philza persuaded me to have you stay with him for about a week. The plan was to take you with me, but he wanted to have some..quality time with you? And it might be helpful for Technoblade as well, he's odd as ever, don't you think? I hope you're going to be okay while I'm gone, and I'm sorry I couldn't get to say goodbye to you, I do. I don't want to bother you when you're asleep. But anyway, stay safe and be with them at all times. Stay inside, and try to recover. I'll be back to get you before you know it.
Take care, sidekick.
Your best friend, Your Tubbo
P.S This is Boo writing! You're in good hands, so there's no need to worry, Ivory. We'll be back soon :)
P.P.S Do you like the bee drawings? Oh and the discs too, I think you'd like those as well. I hope you don't mind the alliums around as well, I like drawing them a lot."
"You're taking a while to read them..don't tell me you forgot how to read too?" The piglin's voice cuts off Tommy's focus which makes him look up at him.
Frowning, he notices that the kid seems a bit..more melancholic than usual? For some reason, Techno could tell that,
"They'll be alright. Tubbo can take care of himself, and Ghostboo will keep him company. You'll be alright too. Gotta make sure you stay alive..Tubbo would freak out if I just let you die or something."
Tommy has no idea what to do with the paper so he keeps the position of holding it out to read, that is until Techno took it,
"Here." He gruffs, folding the paper again and putting it to Tommy's pants pocket, "Now his letter holds close to you. Make sure you don't lose it though."
The kid looks down at it before looking up back to Techno. The nod made Techno confirm he understood what he said.
As well as heard.
Eventually, Techno puts Tommy close to the fireplace the moment he feels the snow's starting to get heavy, more so than usual, "Seems like we're up for another storm..so you better stay here while I get more firewood."
He pats his shoulder before leaving. Tommy blinks before eyeing the fire burning, keeping him warm. It feels nice. He gets closer and closer, savouring the sensation.
Since his knee got to hit something, he slowly looks down and notices he stumbled to one of Techno's books. He takes it up and notices it's talking about history..specifically tales and some random mythology.
Oh yeah, Technoblade's into this stuff..he almost forgot about it. He remembers time and time again that he's been called Theseus, as well as telling the story of that same hero who has done everything to save his land only to be exiled in the end. He somewhat relates to the hero Techno has been calling him with.
It surprises him that he remembered all that.
"Don't get too close. You'll burn yourself." Tommy backs off the moment he heard his voice. Looking up, Techno's above him, holding a handful of firewood, "Back off, going to keep this fire alive for the both of us."
He goes forward and kneels, one by one placing a piece of wood to the fireplace. Tommy by the behind, watches it curiously as it gets warmer and warmer,
"There you go, better?" The other nods, "Thought so, it's freezing cold outside so it was worth it." Techno replies before plopping on the carpet with him.
There was silence for a moment, Techno and Tommy watching the fire crackling..not to mention Edward's enderman noises in the background. He's somewhere far away from the two of them, but his noises were still audible,
"Do you remember living here long ago, Tommy?" The kid looks at him for a moment, before tilting his head, "Hm, you probably don't. That's alright. I heard limbo's time works differently from here, so you may have forgotten about it." Tommy looks at Edward for a second, his attention seems to have gone somewhere after that.
Techno sighs, it almost sounds like a sad, exasperated tone, "I hope you don't mind just me babbling about things, I mean..you can't really stop me, can you? But at least I could tell if you're really listening or not."
Tommy's attention still remains at the enderman's noises..but he continued anyways,
"I know we never really worked out together. The fact that you betrayed me, Tommy..so many times, I don't really get it." He starts, his head is lowered, and he isn't even looking at Tommy straight in the eye,
"I handed you my gears, I let you in my home, I gave you my loyalty..and all I got was a ruined friendship..from a person who only saw me as a tool..as the Blade." Techno looks up and is surprised to see Tommy seemingly paying attention to his words now.
His dead eyes meet his, against that man under the mask, "Did you..Did you ever see me as a friend, Tommy? Not even as a person?"
"Discs aren't people! I am a person!"
"I treated you as a friend, but you went back to the person that betrayed you, the one that exiled you-"
"You betrayed me like 12 times!"
"You never thought of me as a friend- You thought of me as the Blade, that's all I was to you!"
"I was willing to fight them off for you"
"Do not speak to me of loyalty!"
Tommy feels like he's back there again.
He could no longer hear Techno's voice any longer, nor feel the warmth of fire.
He could now hear the excessive explosions of TNT, the voices of people shouting, screaming by his ears. It hurts so much, but he could only freeze..watching the flashback like he's watching a movie, but at the same time it's in 3D; it's like he's back there again.
No way he's re-experiencing this again, too tight, too cramped..There's no escape to this heat, and the noise, so overwhelming. And so, he closes his eyes and covers his ears to make it stop.
Crack.
He's back again.
Where are my pieces?
Something's missing.
He finds himself holding an unconscious Tubbo. He's bleeding badly, part of his face specifically and some of his arms. Alive, but damaged.
Tommy could only witness this, his body is not in his control, as it moves to hold Tubbo tightly, before facing the man who has done it.
It's him again, the same man who has the pig mask, his pinkish hair flying against the strong winds wildly, saying things, many many things that anger him, but as well as hurt.
It took him a while to notice that another familiar man was there, the man with dark wings and greenish robes.
It's Phil, but- Why is he-?
His head strikes another headache as he shakes his head in pain, but the flashback keeps going. Technoblade's words were at least inaudible though but he still can't escape this-
"Tommy? Tommy."
He hears his voice, but it hurts.
He doesn't want to listen.
He doesn't want to listen to it.
God he just wants the pain to stop.
Please stop.
He couldn't get away.
It's all so tight..he wants out.
He ceases his struggles when his body vibrates due to a noise. For some reason, it calmed him down, and his anxiety is slowly dissipating away.
He could find himself out of the flashback, sights of the past flickering to the warm cabin. Blinking, he looks around in realisation that he still couldn't move, like he's bound or something.
That's when he knew that Technoblade's arms were wrapped around him. It feels weird so he tries to get off but the other's hold is firm. His hums echo around the still room, as the blizzard pours from the outside.
His hum vibrates..resonating around his body, and for whatever reason, it did calm him down. It's almost music, but at the same time not.
He's probably humming some nerd music, but whatever it is, it helped. He gave up struggling, and instead leaned on Techno's shirt.
Confused at the new memories he received, he isn't sure what to feel about this man now. When he saw him back there, it's like..he looked so scary. He hurt his friend, he destroyed his home, he left him-
"You okay, Tommy? Can you give me a sign?" His voice is still dull as ever, but softer. Tommy blinks before nodding.
And so, Techno lets go, inspecting Tommy even further. His eyes widen slightly when he notices Tommy's brimmed with tears, and the kid doesn't even seem to notice,
"You look like a mess, kid." He chuckles, dabbing them off by his own hand. Tommy lets him do it, unable to move much anyway,
"Glad it worked out..Phil does that to me sometimes when I can't..when I can't control myself sometimes."
Tommy tilts his head to the side,
"If you hear too many voices, it's like Phil's wouldn't matter..so he'd hum instead..and for some reason it works. Well, sometimes." He plops on the carpet, completely letting go of him,
"Sorry..I shouldn't have said anything. You're not well enough to process anything, and I guess..I haven't moved on at all as much as I wish I did." He sighs,
"I guess it just hurt. It was unfair, and selfish for you to do that. But at the same time, I understand..he was your friend..L'manburg was your home. Still..it does not stop a heart from feeling this sense of bitterness."
Tommy takes something from his pocket. It was a timid movement, so Techno didn't notice and kept talking, eyes more on his thoughts than his surroundings,
"I kind of get it though. Why be friends with someone who killed their best friend? A business partner to someone that..did this to you..I..I didn't realise how much I affected you from what I have done..I guess this is what Phil meant by being blinded due to one's rage.." He groans, clutching his mask, "For fuck's sake, Phil said this might help. But this is pointless."
He reveals the folded paper and there he opens it with difficulty. He finds a quill nearby and takes it, and starts doing something that finally caught Techno's attention,
"Wh- What are you trying to do?" He asks, watching Tommy mess with the letter. Once he is done, Tommy hands him the letter, and Techno only narrows his eyes and takes it.
Reading it, he realises there's two words that are underlined, even circled over and over again in a messy manner.
'I'm sorry.'
"What's the apology for? I made you cry. you-" Tommy shakes his head immediately. So now Techno is confused, "What's this apology for then?"
Tommy grabs the paper and continues to highlight the two words again, and again, and again..It's like saying those two words over and over,
"Tommy.." He whispers, raising his head to face him. Tommy lifts his hand up to give Technoblade a pet, and the other was too aghast to get away from the contact.
He understands.
Once he gets his senses back, he only chuckles, "Is this how you do it now, Theseus? Being all sappy and cheesy? This isn't like you."
That didn't stop the other petting him, and Techno didn't really stop him either.
It's not like it felt great or comforting, but he felt that hunch..that the message was genuine, and that Tommy did mean those words. At least he'd like to believe so.
He apologised.
And so, he removes his mask from his grinning face, and sets it aside.
The voices cease. It's peaceful again.
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A/N: Sorry for being gone in 3 weeks, I wonder if you guys are still around. This chapter was particularly hard to do, probably because it heavily involves Technoblade, but I wanted it to be as perfect as I could. And also, it's really important to never touch a person having a flashback. It can worsen the flashback and most likely might not help the person experiencing it. It's always best to stay away and do talking more than touching. Consent is important too. And in the end it always depends to the person, so don't commend what Techno did, exclude the humming. He doesn't know any better, like the rest of other people that are ignorant in how to deal people who suffer with flashbacks. Anyway, thank you for a thousand reads, almost two thousands actually..Despite being gone, readers keep coming around. Other than that, thank you for the hundred votes as well, and the people who put this book on their reading lists^^ I also see the faithful voters around, thank you for sticking around, as well as anyone who generally reads this book. Thank you so much^^