Aug Pov
So todey I had a lil intaview. Ian realley wanna go doe. Ryan goin through some things and I feel like.. I gotta be dhera. But business is business.
I hopped out da bed and walked ta da bathroom. All did all I had ta do and when I came out somebodey wus up tryna eat hea sock. How ya do dat? Ion know ask Ava. She glanced up at me and smiled. I smiled back at hea. Since Ryan's miscarriage I've been taking da responsibilitey ova Ava. All Ryan does is na is cry heaself ta sleep. Hea being in pain puts me in pain..
I picked up Ava.
Me- Good moning bae.
I kissed hea cheek repeatedley. She laughed.
Me- Wanna wake mama up? Let's wake ma up.
I sat Ava on top of Ryan. She jumped up and down on hea. Ryan slowley woke up. She carefulley grabbed Ava befa rollin ova on hea side. I hope she kno Ava ain't finna let hea go bac ta sleep.
I went and changed inta what I'm wearing fa todey. When I came bac out Ryan wus sittin up on da bed. She had Ava laying on hea chest.
Me- Moning.
Ry- ...Morning....
She wus lookin at da covers. Ava wus suckin hea thumb.
Me- When I get bac we goin out.
Ry- I don't want to.
Me- Ya goin ta.
Ry- Aug-GCO
I cut Ryan off with a kiss on da cheek.
Me- Be readey when I bac. Ok?
Ry-...Fine.
I smiled and made my wey out da doo. I met up with my people and we went ta da intaview.
At da intaview I mind wus not dhera. It wus on Ryan. Ion kno how she gone get betta. I don kno what ta do! We haven't even talked bout all dis... I guess I jus need ta be dhera.
Afta da intaview, in da car I wus listening ta music... I wus thinkin bout da babey. Even tho I'm not shure if I wus readey fa another babey.... It still wus a babey. One dat didn't make it....... I don lost so many fuckin people in my life dat I'm use ta it... But I will neva eva get use ta da feelin of ya own child dying.... Dats jus some ya can't get past........... I'm hera fa Ryan... But damn... Who hera fa me.