Since Y/n didn't had too much interaction with aether and lumine in the first chapter, this chapter will starts with flashback
Flashback with aether
Y/n and aether were walking on a forest at night only with a flashlight and the battery could die at any moment. Because aether was looking for the bigfoot , and since he shit in his pants when he saw him he decided to search for him again this time with Y/n.
Y/n : Aether ... my friendo you must be seeing things , all you have been talking is bullshit
Aether : No Y/n i'm fucking serious about this shit!
Y/n : Really?
Aether : Yes , that's why I called you here.
Y/n : ... You're must be trolling me , i bet all of this is because I threw you and lumine in that river full of dancing alligators?
Aether : ...Well yes but actually no.
Y/n : That doesn't answer my question, know what I'm outta here, this bigfoot shit is just myth
Aether:
Y/n: ...
Aether: ...
Y/n : What the fuck!?
Aether : Yeah I also thought it was just a fantasy but
Y/n : Nah you bitch I'm out of here next time you bring some gay shit towards me again I'm gonna fuck your sister .
Aether : You son of a bitch get back here!
Flashback end
I decided the leave the flashback with lumine for the next chapter. I bet her simps will like it (if she has simps)
A few days after Y/n and Bennett almost got killed by Paimon's mom in the last chapter , Y/n decided to test the efficiency of the knights of favonius by yeeting hilichurls in the middle of the city. But Y/n can't control his strength most of the times , the hilichurls always ended up falling on the lake or they die when fall into the city.
Y/n : Don't worry Paimon , I know exactly what I'm doing , if my calculations are correct this mitachurl will fall on the center of that fucking city.
Paimon : Y/n don't you think this is very dangerous and that people can get hurt.
Y/n : If the knights actually know how to their job , no one will be hurt. And if things go out of control I will kill this mitachurl myself .
Paimon : *Sigh* I hope you miss again. Just like all the other times.
Y/n : I won't miss ! Now it's time to wake up the big boah right here.
Y/n : SHIT I think i slapped him a little too hard!
Paimon : You THINK!
Y/n accidentally slapped the mitachurl with his full strength, killing him instantly and sending his body flying away.
Y/n : ... Yeah , anyways let's get the fuck outta here before we get caught by someone.
Y/n was about to use the secret joestar technique but bunny girl came out of the bush she was hiding to stop him.
Amber : Too late , I'm already here .
Y/n : Shit .
Meanwhile Y/n and Paimon were dragging the mitachurl from his camp to the bridge of the city bunny girl was following them the entire time . Probably someone asked her to find the asshole that was throwing hilichurls inside the city.
Y/n: Umm , hey Amber long time no see .
Amber : Cut the crap Y/n , i already have seen enough to conclude that you are the one who has been yeeting hilichurls inside the city.
Paimon : So you're going to arrest us !
Amber : There's no need to arrest you two , after all you didn't hurt anyone.
Y/n : So , I can keep yeeting hilichurls at the city.
Amber : Nope , if you keep doing that, then I will need to arrest you.
Y/n : Hmph, it doesn't matter if you arrest me , I will just escape in a very badass way.
Amber : I doubt that you would have the mental capability to escape the mondstadt prison.
Y/n : Bet?
Y/n and Amber started arguing about Y/n being able to escape the mondstadt prison or not. To make things more fun Paimon decided to tell Amber about Y/n weakness. SLIMES.
Paimon : Amber since Y/n could easily break every cell the knights could put him in. Why don't make a cell full of slimes especially for him.
Y/n : W-what you're talking about ! Slimes won't be able to do anything against me.
Amber /Paimon : Are you sure about that.
Y/n : Y-yes !
Amber : Really? Because yesterday I saw you almost get killed by a gang of cyro slimes while you were fishing.
Y/n : SHIT SHE KNOWS! But i , hmm i... shit what do I say think Y/n THINK!
Paimon : Well ,looks slimes actually are Y/n weakness.
Y/n : *sigh* I hate to admit it but you right.
Amber : It's good for you to know about this . Now if I remember correctly, you don't have a gliding license do you?
Y/n: Paimon ate it.
Paimon : HEY!
Amber : Y/n you need to have a gliding license to legally glide in mondstadt.
Y/n : What the fuck? Isn't mondstadt the city of freedom?
Paimon : But Y/n and Paimon have been gliding for ages. This is the first we've heard about it.
Amber : I know about that. Everyone noticed a certain someone throwing hilichurls inside the city.
Y/n: Wonder who that asshole would be.
Paimon : She's talking about you Y/n .
Y/n : Oh.
Amber : By barbatos how can such a pretty boy be so dumb !
Paimon : Soooooo... Amber, you were looking for us to give us the gliding license right?
Amber : No way! The knights of favonius have strict rules. For your suffering you need to pass a exam , and only then will the knights issue your license. And I'm here as an examiner to oversee your gliding exam! Since I gave your windglider , it's my responsibility to do this .
Y/n : Why do I need to pass a whole fucking exam , I thought gliding was just T-posing and chill in the sky.
Paimon : An exam ! What a pain in the butt . Then again since Amber is the examiner...
Y/n : There's any other shit for me to do so I don't need to pass this exa-
Amber : Nope , you need to pass this exam . Now read this thicc gliding manual so you don't end up killing yourself or someone else killed while you're gliding. When you're done you need to find me at windrise so we can start the exam. BYE !
Amber gives Y/n a very thicc book and runs towards windrise faster than the speed of light.
Paimon : *sigh* the knights of favonius gliding manual does NOT sound like a fun read...
Y/n : Yeh let's try to finish this shit quickly.
Y/n and Paimon starts reading about the story of how the anemo god taught eren and other random bird how to fly .
Y/n : Wait . This shit is not a gliding manual it's just a story book . WITH VERY SHITTY AND BORING STORIES! WHO THE HELL THAT FUCKING OUTRIDER THINK SHE IS .
Paimon : U mad ?
Y/n : YES I FUCKING AM ! LET'S GO TO WINDRISE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Y/n Picks up his talking food and runs towards windrise even faster than Amber .
Timeskip brought to you by Y/n explaining why Brazilians can double jump
Amber was just chilling in windrise waiting for Y/n and Paimon , until Y/n yeeted Paimon with the book towards Amber.
Paimon : AAAAAAAAAHHH.
Amber catches Paimon in the air so she doesn't get hurt
Amber : Paimon ? What are you doing here and where's Y/n.?
Paimon : Amber this is not a gliding manual this is just a book about mondstadt stories. Y/n is really pissed off at you !
The talking food said while showing Amber the book .
Amber : What ! Oh no I grabbed the wrong book !
Paimon : How in hell did you confused a book for kids with a gliding manual !?
Amber started blushing because of the embarrassment and looked away she tried to explain it to Paimon but no words came out her mouth , a few seconds later she saw Y/n really pissed off running towards her.
Y/n : AAAAAAAMBEEERRR !
Paimon :
Y/n stopped right in front of Amber so he could look directly in her eyes
Y/n :WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO GIVE ME A FUCKIN KIDS BOOK
INSTEAD OF A ACTUAL GLIDING MANUAL WHO DO YOU THINK I AM A FUCKING KID!?
Amber : I'm sorry i-
Y/n : ARE YOU FRIGGIN MOCKING ME ! THIS KIND OF SHIT PISSES ME OFF! GODDAMMINT HOW THE HELL COULD YO-
Paimon : Y/n lookout there's a slime behind you!
Y/n jumps from the place where he was standing and starts looking for the slime
Y/n : AAAAAAAH ! WHERE IS IT ! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SLIME!
Before Y/n could realize there wasn't any slimes behind him , Amber took the opportunity and hit Y/n in the head with the book Paimon said this was the only way to make him calm down but it was not enough to knock him unconscious but he got very dizzy.
Y/n : dAMN what the hell is this, the ground is coming uuup very faST.
Paimon : Amber I think you didn't hit him hard enough.
Y/n : WhAt tHe frick . TheRe's 2 Paimon's!
Paimon: He's seeing things now .
After a few minutes Y/n got back to normal and Amber prepared him for the exam.
Amber: Ok Y/n now that you have FINALLY calmed down you just need to follow the marked routes and then we can proceed to the next part of the exam.
Y/n : Yare yare daze , it's time to T pose in the air again.
After some boring minutes of T posing Y/n finally finishes the first part of the exam and collapses to the ground due to the boredom.
Y/n : Gliding is boring , life is complicated but BOWLING ! Is a dirty business .
Amber : Is he alive ?
Paimon : I don't know , maybe he's just tired ,or bored , or he's having some cursed flashback .
And Paimon was right Y/n was actually having a cursed flashback (and he was bored as fuck too)
Flashback
Y/n : What those two are talking about?
Y/n was peeking his father and his grandfather talking because he was bored like always .
F/n : She couldn't suck my d1ck you know. Nobody could, so I had to ... do some gay things , that involved FAGGOTS!
G/n : We all do gay things son ... that's what make us FAGGOTS!
F/n : Could be .
Flashback end
Y/n : I remember that 2 years later after that gramps told me that traps were gay.
Amber : Y/n are you okay
Y/n looks up to appreciate Amber thighs for a moments.
Y/n : Nice thighs .
Amber : Oh y-you back to normal . A-anyways the next exam is in the cathedral see you there!
Amber quickly disappears while blushing . Probably teleported to the cathedral.
Paimon : What was that ?
Y/n : What ?
Paimon : Y/n ,do you have a mental illness or something?
Y/n : Well I do have some like , split personality, PTSD, schizophrenia, autism, bipolarims, amnesia, and ... I think I forgot the rest.
Paimon : Holy shit ! Atleast that explain those mood swings.
Y/n : Mood swings?
Paimon : It's nothing let's just go to the cathedral to get the license!
Timeskip
Y/n arrived at the cathedral perfectly calm to do the exam and get the license
Y/n : Ok, Amber what shit do i need to-
Amber : Just fly in those white circles in the air and the license is yours . BYE!
And she disappears again.
Y/n : YES . This is just great i only need one more step to get the fucking license and nothing will stop me now.!
A few minutes later
Otto : Windborne traveler ! You are required to land at once by order of the knights of favonius!
Y/n : GOFUCKYOURSELFYOUPIECEOFSHITIDIDN'TGLIDDEDALLTHISWAYFORNOTHINGBUNCHOFUSELESSIDIOTSKNIGHTSYOUMAYHAVEHOTGIRLSWORKINGFORYOUBUTYOUALLARETRASH!
Y/n lands in front of the knight who called him and uses all his forces to resist his maculine urge to punch the knight in the face and say that he's gonna fuck his mom.
Paimon : Wh-what' going on ?
Otto: Please show me your gliding license.
Yn:IWASTRYINGTOGETONEBUTYOUSTOPPEDMEYOUSONOFABITCH! I don't have one.
Otto: It is against the law to glide without a license! I am arresting you under "blablabla" of the mondstadt penal code. You have the right to remain in silence and more "blablabla"
Y/n : Oh , I see . Looks like I have no other choice...
Otto walked towards Y/n to handcuff him but ...
Y/n : NIGERUNDAY-
Amber : Wait... I'm an instructor . This is a gliding exam.
The bunny girl appeared to save the day and explains the whole situation to otto.
Otto :Oh I see. Well , you picked a bad time to hold your gliding exam.
Amber : Really, why?
Otto : The knights of favonius received a report from a sister at the cathedral claiming she saw Raptor gliding around these parts . I thought your student here must have been his partner in crime.
Y/n : Raptor? What a shitty name , who's that?
Otto : A known criminal in mondstadt. He always uses a wind glider to commit his crimes , so people started calling him Raptor .
Amber : Wow. He flies fast then?
Otto: so far we haven't managed to catch him ... our plan this time was to draw him into the cathedral with a precious artifact , ambush him inside.
Y/n : But he stole the artifact and still managed to escape ?
Otto : Unfortunately yes.
When otto said those words a very big smile appeared in Y/n face
Y/n : I FUCKING KNEW IT THE KNIGHTS ARE USELESS!
In a place not so far from where Y/n screamed kaeya was talking to a red haired man who was drinking grape juice.
Red haired man :
Kaeya : What are you talking about ?
Red haired man : Shut up kaeya.
Back with Y/n
Amber got really pissed off when Y/n said that the knights were useless and started choking him .
They looked just like this
Y/n : OUCH , OUCH! AMBER GET OFF ME IT FUCKING HURTS! ARG MY BACK!
Amber : YOU BETTER TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID RIGHT NOW!
Y/n: OKAY OKAY I'M SORRY THE KNIGHTS AREN'T USELESS!
Amber : Hmph That's better.
The bunny girl stops choking the second biggest hater of the knights of favonius and starts talking to otto again.
Amber : Otto there's any other information about where we can find Raptor?
Otto : Fortunately, one of the sisters put some secret markings on the artifact using elemental magic! But he was too fast, and we couldn't even keep up with the trail the markings left behind.
Y/n : USELESS!
Amber : Well if you need help chasing down a gliding criminal, I'm the one for the job! So tell me , which way did he go?
Otto : As far as I know , he was last seen near springvale , but that was some time ago.
Amber : Leave it to me ! Me and Y/n chasing him down together , he doesn't stand a chance.
Y/n : Yeah. Wait WHAT! I never said I was going to help chase a criminal with a shitty name I was just here for the license!
Amber : Don't worry you'll get your license when we catch him ok.
Y/n : I need the license now! My fish is drowning and I need to go save him!
Amber : ._.
Y/n : Ok that wasn't a good excuse but if this stupid useless knight with this yee yee ass haircut he got didn't stopped I would have finished the exam .
Otto : Hey!
Amber : Well if you don't come with me you will have to wait until a catch him and arrest him all by myself so we can keep with your exam.
Y/n : *sigh* fine I'll go ... you can jerk me off if I get bored.
Amber : Ok the- . Wait WHAT DID YOU SAY!
Y/n : I WAS JOKING I WAS JOKING!
Amber : Hmph you better be .
Y/n : ... Actually you can suck me off.
Amber : Y/N!
Kingu crimson
After investigating springvale the trio founded the place where raptor was hiding .
Amber decided to restart Y/n final exam in raptor in there
Amber : Ok Y/n , since you are a childish person I decided to make this exam seem more fun to you.
Y/n : Oh I hope so. Then what do I need to do?
Amber : You will use your wind glider to glide over those hilichurls and throw these explosive barrels at them.
Y/n : HMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMM . Looks like it's time to blow up some hilichurl ass!
Carrying a bunch of explosive barrels the brother klee never had starts gliding while blowing the hilichurls.
Paimon : Are you sure he won't end up blowing himself up .
Amber : ⊙-⊙... nah he will be fine.
Meanwhile Y/n .
Y/n : EXPLOSION!
Killa queen bite za dusto
After Y/n exploded all the hilichurls the trio arrived at the end of the cave but they still didn't found Raptor.
Amber : It looks like there's no way across ... ugh he must be around here somewhere.
Paimon : He's right there!
Paimon pointed at the man who was in the other side of the broken bridge he was dressed just like a treasure hoarder so it was more than obvious that he was raptor.
Y/n : Looks like this won't be a total waste of time after all .Hey, jackass! Didn't your mother ever teach you it's not nice to steal.
Raptor : If three you insist on chasing me, so be it...Huh? Who brought the litle girl?
Paimon : Hey!
Amber : You can't escape Raptor , you should surrender right now!
Raptor : Haha, I don't need to escape! There's no way you can make it over here.
Y/n : Oh I don't think so.
Amber : Oh... it's pretty high... and quite far...
Raptor : Oh , litle girl why don't you run along home now and let your leader deal with this? Don't worry, I promise that once the grand master gets here, I'll surrender immediately! Haha!
Amber : Hey, watch it ! You're talking to a knights of favonius outrider! You'll be sorry when I arrest you!
Y/n : There's definitely a way for us to across this bridge just like he did.
Paimon : But how we are gonna get across?
Y/n : I don't know, Start dancing ?
While Y/n was just chilling doing bully Maguire evil dance Paimon and Amber still were thinking about how the hell they will reach the other side.
Amber : Ugh ... he's right there in front of us... if only we could glide across.
Paimon : It's too far to glide , he definitely used something else. Maybe... a grappling hook!
Amber : But there's no sigh of an anchor point.
Raptor:Bye-bye, kiddo...
Paimon : Oh no ! He's getting away!
Y/n : It's this! I remember me and those dumbass siblings were in a situation like this in the first world I travelled with them!
Y/n who was pretty confident his pläään would work picks up Amber and prepares to yeet her just like he yeeted hilichurls inside mondstadt.
Amber : Y/n what are you doi-
Y/n : YEET!
And with all his strength Y/n yeets the outrider .
Amber : AAAAAAAAH!
Raptor : Wtf!? That kid is crazy he literally yeeted the girl that was with him.
Paimon : Y/N WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN
Y/n : Don't just scream like a retard Amber! Use your windglider!
Then Amber finally understood Y/n plan and she used to windglider to glide safely towards the other side of the broken bridge.
Y/n : Now it's you and me Paimon.
Y/n Picks up his emergency food jumps really high and uses his windglider , raptor notices that the size of the shit he had made and runs away to regroup with his minions.
Amber : He can't escape now ! Let's get him!
Amber lands in the other side and goes towards the place raptor and his minions were waiting for her.
Y/n : Alright then, time to kick some ass.
When they surrounded raptor amber picked her bow and aimed towards him and the other treasure hoarders meanwhile Y/n well...
Amber : are you ready Y/n?
Y/n : I'm always ready- *realization* AH shit I forgot , I broke my sword in the last chapter!
Amber : YOU WHAT!
Paimon : I TOLD YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO THE BLACKSMITH!
Raptor : HAHAHA , did you really forgot to bring you weapon kid ? Looks like this will be an easy win for us.
Y/n : Well... you're wrong about this buddy.
Amber : Okay Amber there are only 5 o them , you can defeat them and protect Y/n and Paimon at the same tim-
Y/n:
While no one was looking Y/n took out of his inventory the rifle the pyro fatui skirmisher used against him and started shooting at everyone... but he missed all the shots bcs his aim is shit.
Y/n : HOW YOU LIKE THAT YOU ASSHOLES !
Treasure hoarder 1#: AAAAAAAH !
Treasure hoarder 2#: RUN AWAY!
Treasure hoarder 4#: THIS GUY IS INSANE!
Amber : Paimon where did he found one of those !
Paimon : I think he stole it from one of the fatui skirmisher he defeated with bennett !
Amber : HE WHAT!
After some time
Y/n : Phew , looks like the ammo of this thing finally ended
Raptor : This is our chance bois he stopped shooting!
Y/n : And now it's time to beat up these bitches with bare hands!
Treasure hoarder 1# : Who the hell do you are kidd- GAH
While the treasure hoarder wasn't paying attention Y/n took the opportunity and kicked him in the nuts making him fall down to his knees , and we all know what happens when someone does this.
Y/n : Abaixo vai ter que mama.
Treasure hoarder 1#: Wait what!
Y/n:
Y/n kicks the treasure hoarder in the face knocking him out instantly , then another treasure hoarder aimed at Y/n with his crossbow but Y/n teleported right in front of him and kicked him in the nuts just like he did with the other treasure hoarder.
While Amber was fighting the other two bandits Y/n now was about to fight raptor .
Raptor: Now let's see what you're made of kid.
Y/n : What do It look like I'm made of ? Pudding?
Paimon : Kick his ass Y/n!
Y/n :*smirks* as you wish .
Raptor started shooting a lot of arrows at Y/n but he dodged all of them and when raptor was finally at withing his reach Y/n stick his fingers in raptor nose.
Raptor: What... the... hell ... are you ... doing... you brat?
Y/n : It's a pretty simple technique I created , if I'm not wrong humans need oxygen to stay conscious, wihout oxygen they brain stops working and they die, and humans get oxygen inside their bodies by breathing , but with my fingers in you nose this mean you can't breath you fool!
After a few seconds raptor started running out of oxygen
Raptor: MAN PLEASE TAKE IT OFF ! MAN PLEASE I CAN'T BREATH!
While raptor was doing everything he could to take Y/n fingers out his nose , Amber who already defeated the treasure hoarders she was fighting, stepped in the fight and punched raptor in the face making him unconscious.
Amber : Yes! We finally got him!
Paimon : Phew now that everything is over you will give Y/n his gliding license , won't you amber?
Amber : ... I will be in the cathedral with your license , see you there Y/n !
Amber handcuffs raptor and teleported with him towards the mondstadt prison probably.
Y/n : Yare-yare daze.
Timeskip already inside the cathedral
Amber : Congratulations Y/n , here is your gliding license! You're officially legal now.
Y/n : Yay, now I can fuck older woman. Paimon , now that we don't need to worry about this bullshit let's go yeet things in the city again, I wanna see if I can yeet a lawarchurl this time.
Amber : Oh , DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THIS!
Y/n : NIGERUNDAYO
...
Paimon : Ah shit here we go again.
--------------
Chapter end
FINALLY THIS SHIT HAS +4000 WORDS
Sorry for make yall wait bois , I recently got the broke god and the ara-ara fox but i didn't farmed for them bcs i was 50/50 for both of them, ( and thought I would lose it ) AND I WANTED THE SHOGUN NOT HER GODDAM PET!
Anyways I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter.