I decided to let Severus sleep in his bed, alone. I slept on the couch for the night, which wasn't comfortable at all. Maybe it was because I woke up so many times. I was thinking. A lot. It all didn't make sense to me. And by that, I mean pretty much everything. All this is confusing. You never know what's going on in someone's head. Even your loved ones are doing things, they shouldn't be doing. Like Severus. My head was so full of everybody's crap that sleeping was difficult. When I looked at the time again, it was 5:30 in the morning. I sighed. I didn't know what to do with myself anyways, so why shouldn't I just get up now and use the day.
I could prepare my classes. Oh great, the holidays just started and all I could think about were my classes. What the hell is wrong with me. I was thinking about Severus. Will he remember what happened last night? I have no clue how much he drank, but I am sure it was a lot. Speaking of the devil, I heard a door open and I looked into that direction. His hand was on the doorframe to support his weight. The other hand was massaging one of his temples. "Having a hangover, are we?", I said. His eyes were scanning the room until he met my eyes. He just stood there in silence. His face didn't show any emotion at all. Either he needed a second to realize it is me, or he just doesn't understand why I am here in his chambers. "What... what are you doing here?", he asked. "Well, you were so drunk last night that you probably would have frozen to death without me. I brought you here, don't you remember?", I asked him. He stood there again, thinking. He slowly walked down the steps from the bedroom and sat down next to me, with distance though. "Why would you help me", he asked me. I looked at him in disbelief. "Severus, you were completely wasted. You never would have made back to the castle by yourself, and I saw you, why wouldn't I help you", I explained to him.
"Because I lied to you. Again", he admitted. He looked down to his feet, and I instantly knew that he felt ashamed by what he did to me. I moved over to him, and he seemed a bit anxious now. I gently stroke his cheek. "I know you did, and I must say that I did feel betrayed by you, but I can also understand as to why you did it. I know you, Severus, at least I believe I know you and even though you did hurt me, my feelings for you didn't change. I don't think they will ever change because you're my soulmate and as hard as I've tried or wanted to try, I can't live without you. I promised you that we would go through this together and this is exactly what I am gonna do. He broke down again. He sobbed and cried and pulled me close to him. "I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you, I really did", he confessed. I stroke his hair gently and tried to calm him down. "Shhhh. I know you did. The important thing is that I forgive you. I love you so much Severus. Always".
"I love you too. I will always love you", and he pulled me even closer, if that's even possible. I kissed his forehead lovingly and wiped his tears away.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you", he said to me.
I looked at him and I looked into his eyes. There was so much pain and misery in there. I missed the times when he was smiling and was just happy, at least for a while. Now, I prayed to Merlin that I would see him happy again. I kissed him tenderly and he returned the kiss. His hand was on my waist, and I missed the feeling of his lips on mine. It just felt so right.
"You and I are a team; you understand that right? Even though we will make mistakes in the future, we can always solve them together". I wanted him to know that I am still there for him. He hasn't lost me, nor will he ever loose me. I don't think I can live without him.
"Do you know what day it is", he asked me. "Ehm, it's Tuesday I believe", I answered. He chuckled and for the first time, he smiled. "Well yes, but it is also the 24th, which means today is Christmas, my love", he whispered it in my ear, and I felt the goosebumps all over my skin. When he snapped his fingers, a small package magically appeared in his hands. He still held me close to him and I enjoyed the warmth coming from him. "I wanted to give you something special for Christmas. You always tell me how much you love me and you always try to show me that I am not a bad person, even though that is hard for me to believe sometimes. I know I am not good with words sometimes, but I need you to know how much I love you. You are my whole world, Kimberly", he whispered again into my ear. I slowly and carefully unwrapped his present. When I opened it, there was a beautiful necklace with a beautiful pendant. It was a small vial and something blue was floating in it. "That is a memory of mine", he started to explain. "It's not just any memory. It is the moment that I fell completely in love with you. It's like I am under a spell, a spell that I don't ever want to be released from. Or even a dream, a dream that I never want to wake up from. As long as you're in my life, I am happy".
The tears were near, I can tell you that. "Oh Severus, that is the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. I love it so much, thank you", and I kissed him passionately. When I broke the kiss there was a comforting silence to it. I put the necklace on, and I felt somehow a little bit safer, knowing I was carrying something from Severus with me. "Your present is actually still in my chamber", I admitted embarrassed. "I don't mind. Spending time with you is the best Christmas gift", and he shyly kissed my cheek.
For now, all was well between them. They enjoyed the time they had together because both knew that the war they both dreaded so much, was coming closer with every minute that passed.