The Cantankerous Traveler ( G...

By BrazilianSamuraiboy

72.7K 1.7K 1.9K

Warning : this story doesn't make any sense it's super cringe and only retarded people like the author of thi... More

Prologue : ah shit here we go again
Y/n Bio
Chapter 1 : the city of freedom
Chapter 2: Meeting the knights
Chapter 3 : Egg destroyer
Chapter 4 : Adventures in dragonspine
Chapter 6 :The Gliding license
Y/n backstory part (1/3)
Chapter 7 : 1 fake treasure and 1 son of a bitch
Chapter 8: Getting Ara ara.
Chapter 9: The stand user could be anyone
Chapter 10: The femboy bard
Y/n backstory part (2/3)
Chapter 11: Stop right there criminal scum
Y/n backstory the end
Chapter 12: MY BESTO FRIENDO
Chapter 13: Masterchef teyvat
Chapter 14: Dancing with the dragon.
Chapter 15: You know the rules and so do I
Chapter 16: Teaching Dvalin how to pray
The best comments in this book so far
Chapter 17 : liyue harbor bullshit
Chapter 18: Morax fucking dies
Chapter 19: I'm stronger I'm smarter I'm better
Chapter 20: Hold on this whole operation was your idea
Chapter 21: Standing here
Chapter 22: Spy on the fatui you said, It'll be fine you said... FINE YOU SAID!
Chapter 23: If you want it.
Chapter 24: Back away i will deal with this fatui scum myself
Chapter 25: How are you water
Chapter 26: Put these horny ambitions to rest
Chapter 27: Peek a boo motherfucker
The best comments in this book so far... part 2
Chapter 28: "I will do what i must"
Chapter 29: Excuse me brah
Chapter 30: Y/n fights his schizophrenia (part 1)
Chapter 31: Y/n fights his schizophrenia (part 2)
Chapter 32: Y/n fights his schizophrenia (part 3)
Chapter 33: Mr.FineAss vs The lord of pigeons
Chapter 34 : I have no enemies
Chapter 35: The archon of Thighs
Chapter 36 : You're finally awake.

Chapter 5 : Adventures in dragonspine (part 2)

2.1K 46 24
By BrazilianSamuraiboy

Still in the flashback where Y/n father is about to tell him how he can become OP.

----------------

F/n : Ok Y/n , the only 2 things you need to do in order to become a gigachad is ...

Y/n : What is it ?

F/n : You need to master our family secret technique and do A LOT of PP ( private part) training.

Y/n : PP training ?

F/n : YES ! All the men in our family have a lot of wives because they need to do PP training to get stronger . The more wives you have = more PP training you can do , and more PP training = you get much more stronger. You need to do PP training every single Day , morning , noon and night , do it ! Do it till your body aches , do it till you can't stand up straight! do it till you're sick of it then do it some more !

Y/n : But dad what is PP training?

F/n : SEX you dumbass child !

Y/n : And how do i do it?

F/n : Oh ...

A very strange and uncomfortable silence took over the room

F/n : I will tell you when you're older.

FlAsHbAcK eNd

Paimon : But what is PP training?

Bennett: And why do you need wives to do it ?

Y/n : This part i can't tell . Also I don't have much experience with PP training i only did 2 times in my whole life , actually 3 times but the first one well...

AnOtHeR fLaShBaCk

When Y/n was 17 years old his family reputation was ruined because a guy who was really pissed off at Y/n father made tweet calling Y/n father homophobic on Twitter. After that he killed Y/n grandfather and learned the secrets about PP training

After doing a lot of PP training he got so strong that he managed to defeat both Y/n and his father together , and before killing Y/n he decided to tell him why the first time he tried to do PP training was a complete disaster.

??? : Before i kill you Y/n There's something you need to know .

Y/n: *cough* Fuck you.

??? : *chuckles * Y/n do you remember when you were making out with your first girlfriend and you came right as she touched your leg.

Y/n eyes were wide open when he heard those words come out of ??? mouth.

???: It was me Y/n , i jerked you off at super speed so it seemed like you came at just a woman's touch !

Y/n :No , NO, NOOOOOOOOO!

Flashback end

Y/n : Was a really traumatizing experience.

Bennett: Oh , i understand how you feel.

Kingu crimson

After some walking the trio arrives at the place where the stranger ice started , bennett couldn't melt the ice with his vision so him Y/n decided to sit on 2 rocks and started thinking .

Y/n/Bennett/Paimon : HmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmm...

After a very long time thinking a oversized cyro mitachurl appeared and tried to attack bennet but Y/n was faster and pushed him out of the attack area.

Y/n : Hey Paimon can you see who it is ?

Paimon : Huh?

Y/n : IT'S YOUR MOM!

Cyro lawarchurl " Paimon's mother according to Y/n"

Paimon : My mom? What the fuck that's not Paimon mother!

Y/n : YES IT IS.

Bennett : Err guys i think our problem it's not just this lawarchurl.

Now the trio was surrounded by a lawarchurl and cyro hilichurls and samachurls.

Y/n : Don't worry I have a plan , bennett you distract paimon's mother while I take out the hilichurls, the we take her down together .

Bennett gives Y/n a thumbs up to Y/n and charges towards the lawachurl . He jumped trying to hit the lawachurls in the face but the lawachurls punched bennett , sending him flying and crashing into a rock.

Meanwhile with Y/n . He managed to defeat all the hilichurls But the cyro samachurl created the high ground and Y/n couldn't do nothing because he knew that if he jumped he would lose his legs and 1 arm.

Y/n : I'm not falling for this shit .

Y/n breaks the ice tower the samachurl created with one kick and then killed him with his dull blade that almost breaking .

Paimon : Y/N BEHIND YOU !

Paimon's mother attacked Y/n from behind but he easily dodge the attack .

Y/n: Wtf ?

After looking around Y/n sees Bennett unconscious on the ground with the other hilichurls.

Y/n : Looks like it's just you and me now.

Y/n jumped trying to hit the Paimon's mother in the face just like Bennett but Paimon's mother grabbed him in mid air and slammed him on the ground , and then she smashed his body with both her hands.

Paimon's mother came to the conclusion was ded and started leaving the place.

Paimon : NO , Y/n c,mon wake up wake up! You can't leave Paimon here !

After shaking his "dead" body and checking his heartbeat Paimon also came to the conclusion Y/n was dead ... but plot couldn't let this happen , after a few seconds Y/n get up like nothing happened to him .

Y/n : ok that was a good one but it won't be enough to take me down. HEY I'M STILL ALIVE ASSHOLE!

Both Paimon and her mother look at Y/n who was completely fine in disbelief.

Paimon : WHAT ! H-how are you still alive ! You were supposed to be ded!

Y/n : Yeah and ? Did you really thought i would right here Paimon? I am the protagonist of this shit . Having my body completely crushed like that doesn't mean shit to me .

Paimon : But how you intend to fight that thing in this state!

Y/n : Well ...

Y/n looks at his broken sword and at Paimon's mother running towards him very pissed off.

Y/n : I have a broken sword and a dream.*crack*. ₐₙ𝒹 ₐ ᵦᵣₒₖₑₙ ʳᶦᵇ ᵗᵒᵒ.

Paimon's mother tries to punch Y/n a lot of time but she misses all her punches .

Y/n : Ok this is bad , Paimon i can't think in a good plan to fight this bitch!

Paimon : Then let's just pick Bennet and run away!

Y/n : The secret joestar technique? No i will defeat your mother in one way or another !

Paimon : FOR THE LAST TIME THAT THING IS NOT MY MOTHER!

While arguing with Paimon and dodging her mother attacks Y/n had a vision of his grandfather talking to him

(G/n = grandfather name)

G/n : Hey you stupid kid why don't you just give headbutt to this giant bitch fist !

Y/n : WHAT? Gramps the hell are you doing here

G/n : It isn't obvious? This is one of those visions that the protagonist have of his master, or parents, or someone important to them telling them what they need to do defeat the enemy they don't know how to defeat.

Y/n : Well ok them... but will this shit work?

G/n : Trust me bro.

Y/n Listened to his grandfather and he headbutted the lawarchurl fist . For one moment the thought he would die but he ended up breaking one of the lawachurl fingers.

Y/n : What the fuck ! There's no way this shit actually worked !

After a few seconds Y/n what happend . When the lawachurls crushed his body on the ground he ended breaking a red crystal that increased Y/n strength.

Y/n : Oh now you're fucked.

Y/n starts breaking all the red crystal he saw . Meanwhile he was breaking the crystals Bennett woke at the worst time possible

Bennett: Ugh, my back *crack*. ₘᵧ ᵦₐ𝒸ₖ!

The lawachurls started running towards Bennett to finish him off. But when he was about to punch and crush his head on the ground, Y/n got in middle of them and blocked the lawachurl punch with 1 hand like it was nothing.

Y/n : Unfortunately for you Paimon's mother, i have discovered a very good way to defeat you and now you're nothing but a punching bag for me . Plot armour punch!

Y/n punches the lawachurls sensed flying very far away. All the people in mondstadt could see him flying and falling in the middle of the lake that surrounds the city.

Y/n : Phew that was a close one .

After a few seconds Y/n got unconscious and fell to the ground .

Bennett: What happened?

Paimon : Well...

Paimon explained everything that happened to Bennet and after that they melted the ice and carried Y/n to the cathedral to ask barbruh to heal him.

And now this rushed and boring chapter ends right here.

----------------
Chapter end

Now let's hope the next chapter isn't shit just like this one.

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