Merry (Late) Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I hope you had an amazing day :D
(I'll probably write something Christmas related later though I do have an idea but it requires writing ;-;)
I hope you enjoy reading!
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
26th December 2021
Moscow was still asleep, the snow keeping everyone indoors tucked in bed, warm underneath layers of blankets. The street lights around their area of large houses occasionally flickered when snow blew to the ground, coating everything in white that glowed orange-ish because of the lights.
At 5 am, Russia was up on his balcony and staring out at this scenery, only wearing his usual jacket. His phone was besides him, Belarus was online too, but they didn't say anything to each other. All he did was sit on the wooden floor with his legs in front of him, elbows resting over his knees as he exhaled a plume of grey smoke, watching it mix with the air around him and disappear.
Smoking on a cold winter's day always had something nostalgic to it, for him. Reminded him of times in army school, everyone freezing cold and joking over cigarettes traded for whatever they had on hand today. The end of the cigarette glowed as he put it in between his lips again and inhaled, well sheltered from the roof above him.
He didn't know if the times back then were easier, or the times now. Usually he didn't allow himself think about it, but today was a cheat day of sorts. The cigarette was already a cheat, the familiar feeling of the paper against the tips of his fingers, burning itself away slowly and burning away his lungs.
Today was the only day he was permitted to smoke with no consequences, it was a rule made both by himself and Germany alike. Russia let smoke slowly drift from his mouth, sending it out in a small stream. Just as the last bit of it left, the door to the balcony clicked open, someone letting himself in.
His childhood home had wooden floors, and so did the army school he enrolled in. Germany sat on it with him, on his left, quiet. It was still too early in the morning for conversation. So they simply sat and watched the scenery in front of them, snow falling down quicker as wind whipped around them.
The forecast said that it'll stop once morning actually arrived, though. Russia slipped back into thinking, letting himself remember small things as he continued to smoke. Germany would playfully tell him that the chairs on the balcony were there for a reason. Their instructor in the academy would typically join in with their technically illegal smoking, giving them a stern look but still flicked his lighter as he did so. Ukraine definitely used to sneak cigarettes into the house and smoked out of the window went their father wasn't around-
Russia dug his fingers into his hair, holding the end of his cigarette in between his teeth briefly and tasting the hint of bitter burnt tobacco when his tongue touched it. He caught a glimpse of Germany, legs crossed, sitting like a statue besides him, the only thing moving was his black hair fluttering as the wind blew. His honey golden coloured irises stood out in this bleak dark view.
I can't believe I love him, he thought to himself. It was an affectionate thought, one that he couldn't help think of every time he saw him, every time their eyes so much as met. I love him so much it hurts, sometimes. Although that might be residue emotions still in him, his heart still heavy as lingering memories floated around his mind.
Germany's hand reached out towards him, still quiet. He felt him take the cigarette from between his fingers and bring it to his own mouth, taking a deep breath from it. The golden glow disappeared when he closed his eyes and exhaled, the smoke swirling in the air before drifting away.
He returned the cigarette to him, going back to staring out at the scenery in front of them, cheeks slightly flushed because of the cold. Russia held the half-finished cigarette, hearing his heartbeat in his ears, the faux fur lining the collar of his jacket tickling the bottom of his jawline as the wind slowly died down, the sun barely peaking through the cloudy horizon.
Being a representation of a country, the day didn't feel like anything special, it was just a normal day. Some other countries might be busy ending their Christmas celebrations, but not him in particular. Being a human person with personal experiences and emotions made today just plain miserable. He mopped in silence through another slow drag of the cigarette.
He glanced at Germany again, finding his eyes also turned towards him, expression calm and relaxed.
"Do you want a listener, or a distraction?" Germany whispered gently. His voice breaking the silence that he'd surrounded himself with since he woke up today felt like a break of fresh air, a lantern in the dark of night.
"Distraction." Russia answered, putting down the cigarette slightly, a slight trail of smoke floating up from the burning end, ash falling to the wooden floor.
And with that, Germany started to smile, scooting over to sit closer. Their legs brushed as he leant closer, lightly poking Russia's cheek with his index finger and grinning with a dim glint to his teeth. "Germany used distraction, it was very effective." He murmured, eyes sparkling with affection.
"Quoting Pokémon, nerd." Russia quipped, still feeling down but trying to make the effort to give him a faint smile back. He felt their shoulders touch, his presence breaking through the atmosphere of melancholy around him. "You stole my switch again, didn't you."
"I did buy it for the both of us." Germany hummed nonchalantly. "Liar, you bought it for me specifically." He nudged him with his shoulder, hearing him laugh.
The snow was falling straight down now. Russia felt him breathe rhythmically beside him, his shoulders rising and falling with every soft breath.
"You did buy the games yourself though." Germany said after a while of silence, turning his head around to look at him. Russia glanced at him, offered a weak smile and ducked his head down again, holding the cigarette in his mouth and breathing in the smoky fumes.
He wanted the distraction because he didn't feel like talking about what he was thinking about, but somehow it wasn't working.
Why does this day mean so much to you, when you didn't even truly feel any remorse for his death-
Not a single tear, some may call it brave, but then again, they question why you're emotionless. Everything you do is Wrong-
"Russland, come here, schatz." Germany shifted by his side, his right arm suddenly laid over his shoulders and pulling him even closer towards him. Russia blinked slowly back into the present as he found himself in another distraction, and sighed before pressing his face against the warm crevice of his neck.
A hand gently touched the back of his head, lightly stroking his hair. "You're really cold." He heard his boyfriend complain half-hearted above him. Russia smirked faintly and nuzzled further into the warmth of his neck, hearing him grumble some more and shiver, which just made them laugh quietly together.
"Do you really have to come out here, when there are so many other places you could be in?" Germany murmured, no ill intent behind any of his words. Which was why he simply smiled again and nodded against his neck, glancing out at the winter scenery in front of them.
The snowflakes were coming down at slower intervals now, sticking to the railing of the balcony. Russia felt Germany's fingers still stroking through his hair, the strands possibly as white as the snow outside. It used to be red and blue, on the 25th, a day before today, he sprinted to the mirror to watch it turn white from the roots, the last of his siblings to change flags.
It stayed that way ever since, his new identity as a fully independent country, no symbol above his left eye to bind him to the rest of his siblings. He was biologically, an only child. He never felt like one.
"Your cigarette went out." Germany's voice, yet again brought him back to the present. Russia quickly turned to look, making a quiet noise of disappointment to find it no longer glowing, the charred end ashy black that disintegrated when he flicked it with his finger. That was it, then, one of his few cigarettes in a year. It was hardly even finished, too.
A hand suddenly against the pocket of his jacket surprised him, making him glance up at Germany who was rummaging around, eventually pulling out the packet of cigarettes he had kept in there. He watched him pull out a fresh one and place it in between his lips as he searched for his lighter.
The flame caught on, igniting the end of the cigarette. Germany tilted his head away to breath out those first few puffs, before handing the rest of it to him. Russia took it carefully, feeling its weight in his fingers, the distinct scent of burning tobacco returning to the air.
"Consider it mine, that I'm sharing with you-" His boyfriend mumbled above him, pressing his cheek against his forehead lightly. Russia breathed softly against him, feeling their breaths slowly synchronize. He put the cigarette into his mouth and breathed in the smoke after a while, relaxing further into his warmth as a silent thank you.
It felt nice sitting by his side, trading the cigarette back and forward. The sun finally broke through the thick cover of clouds, its light reflecting off the icicles hanging down from the roof's edge. Russia watched them glisten and sparkle, squinting his eyes when the light got much too intense. He heard Germany laugh softly as well, lifting a hand to shield his own eyes.
"I hope it wouldn't snow anymore today, it's been cold enough." Germany said playfully with a smile just as bright as the sunshine in front of them. Russia could never forget how easy it was to be mesmerized by him, to have his attention stolen away as easily as his very breath.
"What about you, do you want it to snow more?" He asked, tilting his head down to look at him and passing the cigarette. Russia took it, seeing it already half burnt, warm between his fingers.
"I want to be with you, if that's an option." He mumbled, pressing the cigarette against his lips after and taking a quick breath. He glanced up after a while, smiling softly at his blushing boyfriend.
They continued to watch the sun rise together, even though it was quickly hidden away by thick clouds again. The cigarette burnt away quickly, ash scattered over the balcony. Germany stayed right by him, as promised.
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
26th of December is the date that the USSR dissolved in case someone didn't know-
Smoking is bad for your lungs and I don't recommend it for anyone, don't smoke kids.
Russia and Germany smoke because well they did grow up in the 1900's where smoking was common and very popular, they've stopped or at least cut down their usage since the 21st century started- And also because it's plot convenient they can do whatever they want-
Thank you so much for reading, and have a great day/night!!