BAD DREAM was the only way Amara could explain it. It's what it must've been a bad dream. What she felt, what she saw was a bad dream, right? No, no it wasn't.
"Amara," Leia gained her attention.
Amara looked at the door. Her mother was standing there in the door frame as if she was waiting for her daughter to give her permission to enter. Amara nods at her mom. Amara was sent to see a medic to look at her after what had happened. No one knew what to do, not even Leia. Amara's heart rate went up and she was clearly under a lot of stress from what was going on. General Organa walked further into the room and stopped by the bed that her daughter was sitting on. Amara's gaze went to her hands.
"It felt too real." Amara says, "It felt like I was there."
Leia frowns at her daughter. Her daughter who felt as if she is lost. Amara feels crazy. Amara feels like she is loosing control.
"What is going on with me?" Amara asks with tears in her eyes, "Am I- Am I crazy?"
Leia shakes her head, "You aren't crazy, my dear."
Amara looks at her mom, "Then how did I know about Poe? How did I know about the map? How did I see all of that?"
Leia reached over and sat next to her daughter, "The only explanation I can think of, Amara, is you have some sort of connection to the Force. A connection I have never seen before."
Leia reached over to her daughter and pulled Amara into her comfort. She held onto her daughter as if Amara was still a mere child. Leia stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth.
"I felt it." Amara blinked away the tears, "I felt the pain. I felt the suffering."
Leia stroked her daughter's hair, "Shh, it's okay."
Amara shakes her head, "N- N- No it isn't." She looks at her mom, "I felt Poe being tortured. I felt all of it, mom."
Leia looks at her daughter with concern.
Amara looks away, "It was like I was there. Standing in that cell."
Amara got off the bed, pushing away from her mother. She ran her hands through her hair as she exhaled.
Leia remain on the bed, sitting, and staring at her daughter. Leia frowns seeing her daughter distressed from this. But Leia knew despite being a mother and wanting to comfort her daughter there was something she needed to ask.
"You told us that the map was in BB-8," Leia says.
Amara looked at her mom.
"What else did you see?" Leia asks.
Amara frowns, "I saw the ship they were on." She says, "Some of it got fuzzy on how I got from one place to another, but it was from the hangar to his cell."
Leia nods.
"I only saw Poe and two troopers," Amara then paused, "No. That's a lie. I saw someone else."
Leia waited for Amara to say it. She needed to hear her daughter say it. Leia watched as her daughter made eye contact with Leia again.
"I saw the man called Kylo Ren," Amara says.
Leia frowns.
Amara frowns, "Something abut him," She paused, "He seemed familiar. I- I just know it."
Leia looks at her daughter. Still a frown on her face.
"Mom?" Amara asks.
Leia sighs, "Amara," She look at her daughter, "This isn't going to be easy to hear."
Amara looks at her mom in utter confusion, "W- What?"
"Ben was corrupted by a dark Force. His name is Snoke, I know you're familiar with his name." Leia says, "He corrupted your brother by twisting his mind and feeding into the ideals of what your grandfather did."
"Anakin Skywalker?" Amara asks.
Leia nods, "But when he wasn't Anakin Skywalker anymore," She says, "When he became Darth Vader."
Amara frowns.
She remembered being fifteen and told the truth of Anakin's dark side. Amara could tell when her mother told her this, that there was a sense of worry in her mother's eyes. Worried that whatever she told Amara would have some sort of negative effect.
"Ben is-," Amara shakes his head, "He would never, mom. He was a good person and died."
Leia stands up now and walks over to her daughter, she placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and looks at her.
"I'm sorry you had to find out like this, sweetheart." Leia says.
Amara frowns and steps back, giving herself a small amount of space between her and her mother. She was just shocked by this new found information.
"Why did you not tell me?" Amara asks, "I deserved to know."
"Your father and I did what we thought was right to protect you," Leia said.
"Protect me? I'm an adult!" Amara says.
"Now you're an adult," Leia corrects, "Back then you were still a child."
Amara looked at her mom with hurt written through her face. She took a step back and looked from her hands to her mom.
"I deserved to know," Amara says in a sob, "He's my brother."
Leia went to step over to her daughter, only to get Amara to step back while shaking her head. Amara held her hand out. Tears sliding down her face.
"You lied to me," Amara says, "You said he died. You said nothing was left of him."
Leia pulled her hand back, the hand she was going to comfort her daughter. Leia saw the hurt, the hurt she and her husband caused by keeping this information from her.
"It crushed me when you told me he died," Amara says, "And- And then dad left, and I was lost. Mom, why couldn't you have been honest with me?"
Leia frowns and looks at her daughter in defeat, "I was afraid I was going to loose you too." Leia sounded heart broken.
Amara looks at her mom. A little different but still not wanting Leia close too her, which is what Leia seemed to understand by Amara's behavior.
"After Ben- and then things were never the same with your father and I," Leia sighs, "I couldn't handle if something happened to you too."
Amara bit her lip and looked away. She blinks back the tears and shakes her head.
"I'm sorry," Amara says, "But that's a terrible excuse. I had every right to know what happened to my brother."
Amara said nothing else to her mom and just stormed off. She left her mother alone in the medic room.
Leia knew Amara needed to clear her head. She was upset. She had just found out an ugly truth. Leia knew Amara needed to calm down, and knew her daughter would probably come back later and apologize. But Leia knew she too was in the wrong for keeping her daughter in the dark.
{THE FORCE AWAKENS}
THE WIND was a sort of escape for Amara. She didn't know why, but it was. She didn't return inside, instead she just watched the sun rise on D'Qar. Alone. Amara rubbed the tears away and swallowed whatever emotion eating at her down. To think all this time, all this time she thought her brother was dead. To think she wanted to defeat Kylo Ren and his First Order. To think they are one in the same.
Amara pulled her knees to her chest and frowns.
"Hey, Mar." It was Vira.
Amara doesn't move. She doesn't even indicate that she even heard her, but that doesn't stop Vira. Vira sat down next to Amara in the grass.
Vira looks at the sun rising and then to her friend, "So want to tell what that was all about in there?" She asks with concern in her eyes, "You're scaring me."
Amara choked out a sad laugh, "You're scared? I'm terrified."
Vira reached out and grabbed Amara's hand, "Then explain it to me, Mar. Please."
Amara looks at her friend. She sees Vira's plea in her eyes.
So many night, so many nights the two girl spent venting about their own issues. Amara told Vira things she only told her brother and these sort of things were never told to her parents. Vira explained the death of her uncle at the hands of the First Order, and how she still cries herself to sleep thinking she could've done something to save him.
Amara looks back at the sky.
"All my life," Amara says softly, "All my life I was in a shadow. The large cast shadow of Leia Organa. I could never be her and I was aware of that."
Vira didn't know what this had to do with anything, but instead of interrupting Vira didn't say anything.
"I wasn't anything special," Amara shakes her head, "I was just average and I was okay with that. As you know like many people who know my linage, I come from a line of Jedi."
Vira nods, "Yeah, your Uncle Luke and your grandfather right?"
Amara nods and kept her gaze away, "And my big brother, Ben."
Vira's eyes were still trained on Amara. Sure, Amara mentioned her brother brother but not by name. It was sort of a sour thing for her, referring her brother by his name. Usually she'd say "he" or "him" or "my brother" never by his name.
"I thought I wasn't like them," Amara said.
"And then tonight?" Vira asks.
Finally Amara look at Vira. All Vira got from Amara's eyes were hurt and sadness. Amara blinked away new tears forming in her eyes.
"Yeah, tonight." Amara says, "I woke up to hear voices. Voices calling for me. And when I followed them I ended up here."
Vira looked around, expecting this area to be something worth noting but it wasn't. Not really.
"I sensed him," Amara says, "But- No. It wasn't just that, I- I knew or sensed or predicted what happened with Poe."
Amara ran her hands through her hair and grunted. She shakes her head in frustration and tries to push the tears away. While Amara was frustrated at herself and everything, Vira frowns for her friend. She hated seeing her friend like this.
"I knew where he was," Amara says, "I knew he was attacked. I knew he was taken."
Vira reached out and touched Amara's arm, "By the First Order."
Amara nods agreeing to her comment, "My last episode or whatever you want to call it really," She looks from Vira to her hands, "I was on the ship."
Vira rubbed Amara's arm for comfort.
"But- But I wasn't," Amara says, "I saw the hangar in the ship. I saw the troopers and TIE fighters. I saw it all. I watched Poe be dragged to his cell."
Amara swallowed back a bitter taste in her mouth. At the mere thought of his torture brought back the feelings.
"I felt it. I felt his torture, Vee." Amara says, "Every hit. Every shock. Everything."
Vira looks at her in disbelief, "Mar,"
Amara shakes her head, "The worst was Kylo Ren," She says, "I felt what he did to Poe and it was too much."
Vira pulled her friend in, "It's okay,"
"He sensed me," She says, "He saw me there and I don't know how. He tried to come near me but I-,"
"Yelled to get away," Vira says and saw the shocked look on Amara's face, "That was the thing you yelled which got all of our attention and saw you up against the wall."
Amara frowns.
"Look I don't want to pretend I understand this," Vira says, "But whatever this is, whether it be some strange super power or you being a Jedi, whatever, just know I'm not going anywhere."
Amara felt Vira hold onto her hand.
"We're sisters," Vira says, "Not by blood, but by bond."
Amara gives Vira a small smile and held onto her hand tightly, it was her lifeline right now. Amara nods her head uncontrollably.
"Yes, yes." Amara says.
{THE FORCE AWAKENS}
POE'S CONFIRMATION was the first thing to put her at ease. Being told by someone that he was alive and on his way back from Jakku. She had been in the command room when Lieutenant Connix approached Amara. Amara knew Connix tends to follow her mother a lot, following under some sort of mentor-ship.
"Amara," Connix says, "I have something you should hear."
Amara turns to her, "Yeah?"
Amara was handed the datacard. There it was written on the datacard, Poe Dameron is alive and on Jakku. And she almost collapsed on the ground.
"General Organa sent two X-Wings out to find him," She tells Amara, "She wanted me to let you know."
Amara turns to Lieutenant Connix and nods, "Thank you."
After that, Connix walked off to her station.
This was the news Amara needed to hear, after all she didn't get much sleep due to worrying about Poe. She left the command center to go find Vira. Amara walked the halls and out of the building of their base, as she passed a few people she heard some officer mutter something. It's probably all around base now. How the General's daughter had some sort of breakdown. When Amara found Vira, she was in the hangar. Vira had oil covering parts of her face and back faced Amara. Amara saw Vira had been working on someone's droid. Amara reached over and grabbed a slightly clean towel and tossed it at Vira's back. Vira turned around to see Amara and pulled the towel off her face.
"Thanks, Mar." Vira says, "How are you feeling?"
Amara exhales, "As good as I'm going to be." She says, "Still trying to figure all of this out."
Vira nods and rubbed some oil off her face, "So not to pry-,"
Amara grins, "Just say it."
"Does this mean you're a Jedi now?" She asks, "Like your uncle?"
Amara shrugs and looks at her hands, "I don't know, Vee."
Vira lowered the towel from her face and gave her friend a confused look, "What do you mean, you don't know?"
Amara looks at her friend, "Exactly that." She says, "I don't have teacher for this sort of things. And I don't even know if this is Jedi level serious. Besides, everything is under control."
Vira put the towel on her shoulder, "Mar," She says, "Last night really freaked me out and I know it freaked you out too."
Amara turns away saying nothing.
"I was worried for my best friend," Vira says, "I had no idea what was going on with you and how to help."
Amara looks at Vira, "Vee,"
Vira looks at Amara.
"Thanks for being my friend," She says, "I know I'm a lot."
The mechanic started to laugh, which caused Amara to also laugh as well. The two girls sitting on crates in Vira's work station just laughed like nothing had changed.
"Oh yeah," Vira says, "You have some baggage."
Amara turns to Vira, "Oh and you're one to talk."
The two girls continued to laugh but also tease one an other. To anyone looking in, it appeared two women who weren't doing their job well and was distracted, but to General Organa it was two friends bantering.
{THE FORCE AWAKEN}
HER MOTHER called for her. A request by the General herself. Amara knew it was serious when a lieutenant came to find her practicing her aim with her blaster. Amara wasn't sure what her mom wanted. They had their talk last night, sure it didn't end the best but she assumed they were just going to push on with the Resistance stuff. The war came first. Amara reached her mother's quarters and hesitated to knock. A wave of anxiety rippled through her thoughts as she considered just leaving and return to her quarters to hide from her mom. However, the door slid opened revealing her mom.
"Uh, hi." Amara says.
Leia looks at her, "Were you planning on standing there all day?" She asks.
Amara shakes her head.
Leia returns to her quarters and Amara follows her mother and the doors shut behind Amara. Amara turns to her mom, who was sitting on her bed, and patted at the bed for her daughter to join her. Amara followed over and parked it next to her mom.
"Mom," Amara huffed a breathe, "I am sorry for getting upset with you last night."
Leia looks at her daughter, "But you were right, Han and I shouldn't have kept that information from you."
Amara shakes her head, "Dad and you- you guys thought what you were doing was protecting me." She look at her mom, "I may not have understood it last night because I was-,"
"Overwhelmed?" Leia asks.
Amara nods, "But it doesn't mean I don't get it now." She says, "Logically you didn't want to risk something bad happening to me. And it makes sense why you seemed to hesitate with me joining the Resistance at first. Why you only wanted me here at the command base and never in the battlefield."
Leia remains silence.
"You didn't want to risk me dying or- or coming into contact with him," Amara says.
The way she said him was enough for Leia. The tone used was drastically different than before when they last had their conversation about her brother.
Leia sighs, "And I can't keep you in the dark anymore, despite wanting to." She says, "You're a grown woman and I can't keep seeing you as my child."
Leia reached over and held onto Amara's left hand with Leia's right hand. Amara looked at her mom's hand and then to her mom.
"For all the good I've done," She says softly, "There were some bad things I over looked."
Amara squeezed the hand, "What happened to Ben is not your fault." She says.
Leia looks at her daughter, "Maybe," She says, "Maybe not. We just don't fully know."
Leia pats her daughter's hand with her left hand and then stands up. Amara felt her mom let go of her hand, pulling herself from her daughter's touch.
"This awakening of power that you've endured," Leia starts, "Is scary and I am sorry. I wish I could give you all the answers about how to handle this. I'm not Luke, I'm not my brother."
Amara stands up, "I'm not asking for a teacher," She says, "I- I don't want to be a Jedi if that is what led Ben to be- be that."
Leia cups Amara's face, "Don't let that fear control you."
Amara grabs her mom's hand and gives a small smile, "I won't. I just- I just want to figure everything out myself, first. I want to learn what I can."
Leia nods and then pulls her daughter in for a hug. Leia rested one hand on the back of her neck and the other on the upper back. Amara held onto her mom tightly, a feeling she never wanted to loose.
(re-uploaded: 7/18/21)