I ended up canceling dinner. Sawyer doesn't need to know that. I stayed locked in my room. I did eat the sloppy joe Sawyer made me.
It's almost four in the morning. I make sure to be ready and dressed by the time I head down stairs.
I quietly make my way down the hallway, careful not to wake anyone up. He's here in this house, somewhere and I want to avoid that somewhere. I forget how dark this house is when there is no sunlight. Luckily there are nightlights plugged into the wall.
I don't hear anyone awake. I head straight to the kitchen for water and maybe some breakfast but I'm not that hungry. I stop at the door, it's opened just a small crack, the lights are on.
I search for the noise I'm hearing and my eyes land on Sawyer standing in the kitchen. He's shirtless and making aggressively quick movements. Sawyers back is facing me. His hard muscles are working hard under his tattooed skin. He calms as he turns the stove on. He looks so angry and hot as he cracks an egg open.
My mouth is dry and my thoughts are all over the place. Especially back to that awful dream of Sawyer in the shower. I don't know if he can hear my heavy breathing or the creak of the door but he immediately stops his movements.
I don't want to be the first to speak but he gives me no choice as he stares in my direction with wide and angry eyes.
I slowly open the door, "hey." My voice is annoyingly hoarse and tiny.
"Morning." He breathes.
"What are you doing?" I ask, clearly knowing what he's doing. But I have nothing to say and I ask dumb questions.
"Couldn't sleep." He breathes heavily. "What are you doing up?" He flips his omelet, and I can't seem to find the strength to look away from his tattooed body.
"Just wanted to make sure I'm not late to class." I confess.
"Class?" He questions, he plops the omelet on a white glass plate. He pours himself a glass of orange juice. I notice he's glistening in sweat and out of breath. Was he working out?
Sawyer catches me staring, "Running." He answers my thoughts and I nod.
"Well...Class seems to start so early. I don't want to miss it." I shrug. My attention is on his food now. He nods but his eyes don't meet mine as he takes a bite of his cheesy omelet.
"Class isn't until one today." He takes a bite out of his food. He almost seems amused but I can't tell by how serious he sounds.
Are you kidding me?
I stare at him, hoping that somehow this is him just being mean and petty but he continues with his eggs.
I refuse to ask if he's going to finish it, but I get the smell of eggs and it makes me want to vomit. Either I love eggs or I hate them.
"Are you sure class starts that late?" I question.
"Yes." He quickly mutters and he starts to wash his dirty dishes.
I open my mouth to say something but Sawyer stops me, "It's too damn early Opal. Just go back to sleep." He says almost in defeat. Almost like it's a waste of his breath to talk to me, like he doesn't really want to tell me that but I'm such a bother that he needed to.
"I want to go home." I tell him. "I'm tired. I don't have family. I don't have a good support system. And if I'm a huge bother and problem then what's the point?" I croak, my eyes water. I'm not sure if I'm angry or sad. But I do want to go home. There is no point staying here.
"I miss my mom, Sawyer. My dad. My brother. If you don't take me back I'm leaving on my own. I don't care what you say." My voice rises, hoping my stern words help him understand what I feel.
Of course my words never affect him. He turns to me, an unknown expression on his face. He doesn't seem to care what I have to say. He walks right out of the kitchen.
There is so much tension between us I can't stand it. I avoid him the rest of the morning.
"We're the only ones who got his death correct." Thomas walks over to me. I smile, I knew this because of the sloppy joe deal between Sawyer and I.
"No way. He has to pick you." I tell him, excited for his future.
"There is still a lot of competition. But I think I might be on top." He says and I clap my hands.
"Do you want the top intern position?" He questions.
I frown, I did but I'm not so sure anymore.
"No, today is my last day." I tell him. Sawyer gave me a week to prove myself and here I am. I proved myself but his ego and hatred for me overrides everything.
"The program is for five months. You're quitting?" He asks and I nod. More like being kicked out.
"Yeah, I don't think I'm cut out for this." I turn away not wanting to cry.
"We should celebrate. You have to come for drinks later on. Everyone is coming." He tries to sound cheery.
"Maybe." I tell him. "Hey, we should get this done." I start cleaning dirt off rotting bones.
His sad eyes make me feel worse, "Right." He says and we zone in on our work. I go over to the solutions station needing liquid to check if there's blood on the bones.
I aimlessly walk over and grab what I need. I'm in my own world. Zoning everyone out. I quickly turn around and bump into someone.
I bump into one of the twins. Not sure if it's Lina or Lena. "I'm so sorry." The colored solution turns her white coat pink. Her eyes widen and I step back. There's nothing I can do, the solution on her is already dry.
"It's fine." She says and I stand there not knowing what to do. It doesn't help that Sawyers angry eyes are on me. I quickly get a new solution and head back to Thomas. He doesn't notice the mess I caused and continues working.
I let Thomas take over and I just become his assistant. If he needs something I run and get it.
"Tweezers. Thin pointy ones." He says and I head over to the table with all the tools. I grab a tray and everything Thomas wants. When I make my way back I trip over a rock and the tray flies up.
"No!" I yell as I fall. I land on my knees, and I know I scraped them. The loud crash of metal hitting the ground causes everyone's attention to turn to me.
"Hey, are you okay?" Both Thomas and Sawyer are by my side. "Are you okay?" Thomas asks again. I turn to him and grab his hand.
"I'm fine. Just tripped." I nervously laugh as he pulls me up. He pats off any dirt from my arm and back that I can't reach. I feel Sawyers angry eyes on my back but I'm too scared to turn.
"Thank you." I tell him, all my focus on him as I ignore Sawyer.
I quickly pick up everything, sanitize them and continue working.
"It's okay." Thomas says, he sees my shaking hands. He grabs them but his hands are cold and moist. Not like Sawyers.
"I know." I smile.
Everyone goes back into work mode and I just watch Thomas carefully pick out what isn't bone and examines it under a magnifying glass.
"I need more solution." He says and I head back to the solution station. The smell of the chemicals makes my stomach sink and I feel queazy. Either that, I ate too early this morning. I stand there trying to hold in the urge to throw up but it somehow speeds up the reaction and I throw up on the ground.
I think Lena rushes over to me, napkins in hand. "Here. Do you need water?" She asks and I shake my head. I don't look back, I just run inside. I don't want to see the look of everyone's face; today is not my day.
"What's wrong?" Nancy rushes over to me but I slip past her and into my room.
I fall to the floor crying. I'm not sure whether to feel humiliated, sad. I just miss my mom.
The taste of throw up is in my mouth and I walk to the bathroom. I shut the door and lock it and stay underneath the scolding hot water. I cry and I cry and I cry.
By the time I come out of the shower I'm a full raisin. My eyes are puffy and red and boogers are running down my nose.
I must have spent at least an hour in there. I hear a knock at my door.
"Opal, are you okay? I heard what happened." It's Avery. I don't answer as I lie on the bed and stare straight at the ceiling.
She knocks one more time and I close my eyes.
"If you need me, you know where to find me." She soothingly says and I hear her small foot steps trod away.
I breathe out trying to calm myself down. I'm going get drinks with everyone. I can't let one bad day make me hide from everyone.
I get the tightest dress I own. Straighten my hair and do my make up. By the time I'm done it's time for drinks.
I hear another knock at my door.
"Opal." It's Sawyer and I roll my eyes. Before he knocks on the door again I swing the door open, "Feeling better?" He asks, he's caught off guard as he eyes me up and down. I push past him,
"I'm fine." I harshly say bumping into his shoulder as I make my way out of my room and downstairs. The sound of my high heels and the dress gives me the confidence I've never had. I feel good in this black dress.
His whole class is downstairs. It seems like all of them got ready here. Thomas spots me and I walk toward him.
"I'm sorry about today." He whispers and I shrug it off.
"It's okay. I'm just clumsy." I tell him and he nods.
"You look beautiful." He whispers and I can't help but blush.
"Thank you." I smile at him.
"For a second I didn't think you would make it." He says and I laugh. I didn't think I was going to come either.
I don't say anything. Sawyer interrupts.
"I'm proud of every one of you." He starts his small speech and in the pit of my stomach I feel like he's talking about everyone else except me. "You all showed how hard working, intelligent, and willing you are to figure out problems in a quick and precise manner. Today I invite you to be yourselves and relax. Today is on me. Enjoy." He claps his hands and he leads everyone outside. For a second I think he rented a party bus but everyone disperses into their own cars. My stomach sinks, I don't want to be in a car with Sawyer. I try finding Thomas but I see him get into someone else's car.
I hear a honk and a car comes straight at me. Sawyers head pops out, "Get in the car, Opal." He demands. I look around me one more time and we're the last car to leave. I stand there for a while hoping by some miracle he lets go of the break and crashes into me but he doesn't. The bright head lights start to hurt my eyes and I slowly make my way to the passenger seat.
"Seatbelt." He says and I turn to him.
"Stop. Stop telling me what to do. Stop talking to me. I don't want to talk to you. Just drive so the sooner we get there the faster I can be away from you." I say all in one go. I make it a point to sit as close to the window as possible, far from him.
The heat in my cheeks doesn't subside and I'm annoyed by how hot I'm getting. I don't look at him once the whole ride. My attention on the outside world.
I don't even wait for Sawyer to park, as soon as he stops the car I jump out. I take in the fresh air. The tension was suffocating me.
"Finally." I mutter loud enough for him to hear.
When we make it inside I zoom to the opposite side of the bar away from him. I don't realize how fancy it is until I sit down.
I watch Sawyer stand by Evan.
SAWYERS POV
"You just not going to drink tonight?" Evan asks.
Where the hell did Opal get that dress? I've never her seen it on her. She's sitting alone, pouting, at the opposite end of the bar. I catch her looking in our general direction a few times. But my eyes are glued to her.
"Stop making her life miserable." Evan says, I glance over to Opal one last time and back to Evan.
"She wants to leave." I tell him, his eyebrows raise.
"I can't imagine why." Evan sarcastically mutters and downs a glass. I order another one.
"You know why she can't." I look at him, and he frowns.
"You're still in love with her. You still want her. If you can't admit it to yourself at least admit it to me." Evan says. I can't have this conversation here. I roll my eyes.
"Like hell." I snigger.
I follow Evans line of sight, he smirks.
"Looks like you're not the only one." Evan pats my back. I watch as a twat sits by her. They exchange a few words and she eventually nods. He's buying her a drink, he's buying her a drink....He's walking over to the bar.
I give him a once over. He's wearing a wedding band. This douche bag is married, he's married... He's at least twenty years older than Opal.
"Told you she'd be easy." Twat says to one of his friends. "I'm going to get her so drunk." The other guy high fives twat.
I roll my eyes. Opal is her own person she can defend herself. I fight the urge to knock his ass through the bar counter. He heads back with drinks in his hand and Opal takes it. She takes a few sips here and there and she laughs like he's the funniest man on earth.
"You're frowning." Evan seems amused by all of this. I take a sip and flip him off.
"She ditched you for the married guy." He laughs.
"Don't mock me, I'm not in the mood." I drag my attention away from Opal and back to the sports event on the television. But once again I turn back to Opal but I don't see her. Music starts blasting and most of the crowd is on the dance floor.
"Well I had enough for one night." Evan looks around the bar. "Good night, brother." He pats my shoulder and heads out. He starts to head out but I see him walk back towards me.
"What happened?" I question.
"If you're looking for Opal, she's over there." He leans down to whisper into my ear. I turn to the direction he points in. There she is, dancing. With him.
I bite down on my jaw and ask for another drink.
Little innocent Opal, dancing with a complete stranger. Unlike her.
"Hey Professor Pierce. You should come dance!" A student from my class slurs. She stands very close to me, our shoulders touching. She bobs her head to the music as she orders another drink.
She turns to talk to me but my attention is on Opal. I can't help but clench my fists. I feel my fingers marking the palm of my hand. She's grinding against married guy. Grinding!
I turn back to the television. She can dance with whoever the fuck she wants. I breathe out heavily.
OPALS POV
I don't know what has come over me. My initial anger is gone and I just feel a wave of relief wash over me. I'm dancing with a married guy, is it morally correct? no. But does it annoy Sawyer? yes.
I just let the music guide me. I close my eyes and just dance. I've never done this before. Granted I feel stupid but I don't care. I open my eyes and of course I open them in the direction Sawyer is in. I feel his angry eyes on me. I close them and try to ignore that I'm the one making him angry. He's the one with the problem, not me.
"Hey, I'm going to the bathroom I'll be right back." I tell married guy. I can't concentrate, I'm sweaty and it's way too hot in here. I head into the bathroom. I'm surprised no one is in here.
I splash water onto my face and wave my hand to cool down. I pull my hair up into a pony tail. I fix my dress, and quickly wash my hands. I feel refreshed and I head back out. The moment I step outside someone grabs me by the arm and I'm pushed into a long dark hallway.
I try stopping myself but whoever it is is stronger than my protesting feet. My heart beat starts to race. I'm being kidnapped and I can't even defend myself. They push me up against the wall as someone passes by us.
"Sawyer!" I try yelling for his help but they cover my mouth. I push them and I lift my hand up with all my force ready to slap their face.
"Get away from me!" I yell. But I'm not strong, he grabs my wrist before it can land on his face. The moment he does grab my wrist the heat of his hand almost burns me.
"Sawyer?" I question out loud. What the hell is he doing. "What do you want?" I snap. His hold on my wrist is tight. We're both breathing hard and he just looks at me.
"Fuck it." He says and his lips crash into mine. For a moment I give in to his aggressiveness, the warmth of his mouth on mine, but this isn't it. This isn't what I want. I let myself relax into the kiss but only for a moment. I push him away.
"Is that your way of trying to make me stay?" I question.
He creases his eyebrows, "No?" He sounds confused.
"Can you please take me home now?" I don't know if it's the tone of my voice or the pleading face I'm giving but his features soften.
He takes long to answer and my mind is swirling back to the kiss, that I don't mind that we're standing so close to each other.
"I'll meet you in the car." I slowly move away from him, maneuvering around him. He stands still not moving.
I watch from the car as he says goodnight to the students who haven't left.
"Hungry?" He asks as we back out of the bar.
"No." I shake my head.
"I'm stopping to get food. Let me know.." he starts to say but I interrupt him.
"I bought a train ticket." I blurt out. He presses on the break stopping the car and I fly forward. There is traffic zooming in behind us.
"Sawyer! You can't just stop the car in the middle of a busy road!" I yell, panicking that the cars are coming right at us. Sawyer starts driving, he speeds off.
He hasn't said anything. It's been ten minutes and he hasn't said anything.
"Did you hear me?"
"Yes I heard you. Opal, I've told you so many times. You can't leave."
"I don't care what you say. I'm leaving." I calmly say.
"Oh God. Not this again. Come on Opal, just drop it." He groans into the steering wheel when we stop at a red light. "I don't want to talk about this right now."
"Well I'm glad. Because we won't be talking ever. I'm leaving." I repeat.
"You can't." His voice is calm, sad almost and I turn to him.
"Why not?" I question. He doesn't say anything, "why not? Just tell me." I plead.
"No." His voice hostile. "No." He repeats again and the force of his voice makes me jump.
I sit there, looking down at my lap.
"I'm leaving." I repeat. My voice tired. He never listens. We finally make it back and he parks. I get out and slam the door.
"Didn't you hear what I told you?" He finally speaks up.
"Answer me." He says but I don't look at him.
"Yes. I heard you." I roll my eyes, not looking in his direction.
"And you have nothing to say about it?" He's almost mocking me. I'm not sure he's going to be able to stop me. If he does I'm calling the police.
"Leave me alone." I tell him but he steps in front of me. "Move or I punch!" I somewhat yell.
He is dangerously close to me. I try to back away from him but his strong hands pull me closer, holding me in place. He sighs out, he looks into the sky and pinches the bridge of his nose. He tugs at his hair and finally he groans, as if what he's about to say is painful and not something he wants to discuss. But then he says it, just blurts it out.
"They're dead." He whispers. At first I'm confused as to who is dead. My mind immediately jumps to Joseph but that can't be right. And then I realize he's talking about my parents. I take a step back, but he steadies me in place. I look at him in disbelief.
I don't process what he says but I rush inside. I kick off my shoes and just run up stairs. When I'm alone I fall to the floor screaming. I feel so trapped. This is all wrong. This is all wrong. They can't be. And for the second time today I just cry and cry and cry.
It's almost two in the morning. I've been on the floor rocking myself back and forth. My eyes, my nose, and lips are swollen from crying for hours.
Everyone tries to check up on me but I don't let them.
I finally have the strength to pull myself up. I need water. Tears are still streaming down my face but my chest hurts too much to make any crying noises.
I pass by Sawyers office, his light is still on.
I open the door and see him at his desk. He quickly looks up,
"I could just really use a hug." I croak, trying to hold in my cry.
He doesn't say anything, he's by my side in seconds. I wrap my arms around him tightly and I let myself go, crying into his chest. No matter what, Sawyer is the only one who is able to calm me down.
He hugs me tighter, his warmth holding me still. He's gently rubbing my back while simultaneously apologizing.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm so sorry." He repeats over and over until he's quiet and we both fall into rhythm, swaying back and forth.
I don't think he realizes how much I need him.
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Hey! Sunday update here again!
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