Song- Treat you better (Shawn Mendes)
Alicia's POV
The strumming of the guitar, his voice gets louder and my steps are slowing down following the rhythm.
Baby, just to wake up with you
Would be everything I need, and this could be so different
Tell me what you want to do
'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead?
I know I can treat you better
My heart races listening to his voice, I'm so close and my next step takes me inside the hall.
Better than he can
I see everyone enjoying. My wide vision takes a quick look all around. Charts, posters all over the floor as students enjoy coloring them.
Better than he can
At my right side, I see Zayn strumming the guitar while cheering up everyone with his singing. My steps are taken aback as he turns around with his guitar and stands in front of me. I think it's a coincidence he didn't see me coming. Our eyes meet.
Give me a sign
Take my hand, we'll be fine
Promise I won't let you down
I see immense love in his eyes and I instantly look down. My heart churns in a way I can't explain.
Just know that you don't have to do this alone
Promise I'll never let you down
I close my eyes to drink in his words and let them flow throughout my body. My eyes are becoming wet, I can feel the water with my closed eyes.
'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can
I looked up as I watch him move backwards, still looking at me.
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
He strums the guitar and turns around to go away. A lump in my throat starts to suffocate me and I gulp it down.
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead?
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can
The group is watching me with demanding eyes. I look at Harry and decipher his pleading eyes, asking me to not hurt him anymore.
Better than he can
I look away and start searching. Searching for Rickard. What else I could do?
Better than he can...
I'm helpless.
I try not to cry as I tuck my hair behind my ear. I see Rick in the corner and start walking towards him. He's observing all what's happening in the hall with gritted teeth. If I'm not wrong he's jealous that how Zayn is drawing everyone towards himself. Everyone is so engrossed in their work as Zayn keeps them charged and motivated with his singing.
"You jealous?" A smirk plays on my face on its own and he looks at me.
"Alicia, I'm not in the mood right now. We need to do something. We should also start preparing charts and all this stuff to make my part of the college look good. I can't let him win." He glares at me and I sniff.
"I puke on your thinking." I glare back. "No way in hell I'm helping you. You always think of making him lose. But you never think of making yourself win. When you start thinking that way, you might get a chance to win." I try to knock some sense in him.
"I don't want your lectures. I want your work. Don't forget you are still my ACR." He points his finger at me.
"I don't care, Rick. And I'm not scared." I simply state.
When I'm into a high level shit, his words are no more a threat to me.
"I'll tell master."
"You will do no such thing!" This time I point a finger at him as I glare.
I know he won't do it. Whatever it is but I feel he wants to protect me from master. Staying with him for these days gets me to this conclusion.
"I will!"
"You won't."
"Seems like you guys disagree with each other." I hear a voice from behind. My eyes go wide and I turn around.
"Louis!" My eyes shine looking at him.
"Angel." He smiles widening his arms. Not thinking even for once, I throw myself in his arms.
"I've missed you." I start crying like I was waiting for an excuse to let my emotions come out.
"I've missed you too." His arms tighten around me, rubbing me in order to provide me comfort.
"Anything bothering you?" He asks and I look up at him.
"No." I wipe my eyes while shaking my head.
"Tell me if this man is what bothering you..." He points at Rick. "I'll kick his butt in way he will never be able to sit." He shoots a glare towards Rick who seems scared.
"No!" I laugh through my tears holding myself in place. "It's just I'm seeing you after so long. It's nostalgia." I explain while smiling.
"I'm always here. Keeping an eye on you." He caresses my cheek. "You don't have to worry about anything. You do what you want to do. No one is going to put pressure if that's what bothering you. " He again looks at Rick and I find him stepping backwards.
I make a short laugh while shaking my head.
"Who is he by the way? Last time I checked you were with Zayn?" He intrigues and I look down.
"I'm her boyfriend." Rick speaks and in the next second he's choking.
"Louis, stop!" I try to pull his hand away from Rickard's throat.
"Well, you don't seem like you even deserve her slippers?" He tilts his neck a little, tightening his grip on Rick.
"No Louis. It's what it is." I say pushing him away.
I see Rick coughing and I ask. "Are you okay?"
He nods while whispering. "I'll see you later."
I mouthed him okay turning back to Louis. "You shouldn't have done that." I say.
"Whatever! I doubt your choice." He looks at me. And I sigh.
"Why are you here?" I ask changing the subject.
"Honestly, I came here to see Zayn. He didn't come to my place yesterday." He says while thinking something.
"What? Why would he visit you?" I ask being curious.
"He has started the Kung-Fu classes. But look, he misses it in the first week itself." He throws his hands up.
"What?" I ask while thinking. He's still up for it?
I close my eyes as my heat races.
He's not giving up on you Alicia. My thinking self looks at me proudly with smile.
Something warms me as well as alerts me.
"Besides...." Louis elongates tilting his head. "I wanna see your best friend Kim." He looks at me with no expression.
Or hiding the expressions?
"Why?" I ask as I smile.
"Something...." He shrugs showing me that secret look.
"What?" I chuckle. "You two a thing?"
"No way! She's not my type."
"Hmm." I smile.
"You won't find any then. If she's not your type." I smile as we start to walk.
We had some time together and I felt alive for a moment. I see my brother in Louis. He shared with me that they kissed. I laughed a lot hearing about their first kiss. They both are wild and fit with each other.
My mind goes back to the time when Zayn and I were together. We would sit, talk, cuddle and laugh. We were happy, happier than ever. Gone is the time when we just do nothing but kiss each other madly. I remember us spending the holiday just kissing, eating and sleeping in each other's arms. My heart cries thinking of the old times.
Louis excused himself as he wanted to meet Kim. Zayn was just an excuse I guess?
I couldn't tell anything to Louis. He asked me about our breakup and I just made up the lamest story. I dread the outcome. As long as master has my family, I can't say a word out loud.
There should be something, a way to escape this. I need to find out. But before that I need to know how he knows about me and Zayn.
~
What can be the ways? I talk to my thinking self as I walk to and fro in the room. It's 9pm now.
CCTV cameras?
Yes. Might be the option.
But no. My thinking self shakes her head. There are no cameras outside the university. He even knew what happened back in Bradford when Zayn came to meet me.
A spy?
No. Moments captured when we were with Zayn's mom. There is very high security. No spy can enter.
Then what? I stress on my brain.
Something which is always there. What is always there?
I sigh and breathe deeply.
God, please help.
~
Just like this, thinking and struggling, days passed. But I got no clue.
Every day he would call me and explains what happened in the college. He would laugh and feel happy that I didn't touch or talk to Zayn. That bastard never let me speak to my family. I really don't know if they are okay. But I have no choice other than to trust master. I hope they are safe and getting a good treatment. I cry.
It's the last day before inspection of the first round. Everyone is just engrossed in work. I too made some of posters for Rick so as to keep it convincing that I'm his girlfriend.
The result is visible. The hard work speaks. Zayn's part is lively. Walls are white washed, augmented with informative and motivational posters and charts. The classrooms are furnished, obsolete things have been replaced with new ones and the corridors are fragmented with numerous colorful plants. A lot has been done and on the other side? I don't want to even explain. Rick doesn't have that zeal in him to work. He just tried to ruin Zayn's part but he failed miserably. I pity him. Had he been focusing on his own work he would have achieved something.
Talking about Rick, it reminded me of something.
It's time. I gulp down the dryness.
Just a week left before I leave the university.
Rick told me that master is going to take me away the next Monday morning.
Do I feel something? No I don't feel anything, I'm dead.
I just want him to release my mother and sister.
Where's my dad ?
~
All have gathered near the podium as it's time the result will be announced. I don't see it as a competition. It's one sided.
He will win without any second thought.
"Dean is here." I hear students murmur and everyone starts silencing.
I'm standing to left side of the hall while the group and Zayn are on the other side. I can't decode that look on his face. He's looking straight at the stage with no emotions. Is he not happy that he's going to win?
His jaw is set as if he's struggling with something. Everyone is happy around him, cheering him up but he is dazed.
"Good morning to all. I think it's all clear that who wins the first round." Dean smiles looking at the crowd. Everyone shouts Zayn's name.
I smile as I join the crowd and clap. I steel a glance at him but he is still the same.
"Yes, it's my boy. Zayn. The other part of the college will be furnished the same way as Zayn's." Dean speaks proudly.
"Don't mind if I sound partial but his work speaks. Rick should give more input. Second round is still there. You may cover up." He nods at Rick who looks down.
"The second round's date has been changed. It's tomorrow itself." Dean informs and all the students gape.
"But how will they prepare in such a short time Sir?" Liam asked.
"It's going to be an open challenge without preparation. They will give performances on whatever talent they hold. Meanwhile, the secret voting will be done. That's final." With this dean dismisses the meeting and leaves the stage.
The moment he leaves I see hooting all around. Everyone is just so happy that Zayn won.
"I lost and you are smiling?" Rickard shrieks in my ear.
"No, I don't see that you lost. I see that he won." I smile and he huffs.
~
I sound creepy but yes, I am eves-dropping. I'm standing behind the rehearsal hall's door listening to what the group is talking about.
They are so happy that Zayn won. All are congratulating him, cheering him up. I so want to be the part of it. I'm as happy as they are. May be more.
I just want to capture his reaction on his win.
"Zayn you won! We are going to get our CR back!" Lauren exclaimed happily. I smile.
"Party, party, partyyyy! I'll eat some chicken and pastaaa!" Niall rolls on one leg while dancing weirdly.
He's such a cute boy.
"Congratulations Zaynie!" Kim hugs him tightly while swaying him in her arms.
All are happy but I observe he's quiet. Oddly quiet. What's bothering him? He was alright the past days?
"Guys, I'll see you later." Zayn says while making his way towards the door.
"You okay?" I hear Harry asking Zayn.
"Yeah." He murmurs walking out.
I quickly move away and rush towards the classroom adjacent to rehearsal hall. I don't want him to find and embarrass me for what I was doing.
I listen to his footsteps placing my hand on my heart to even my breathing. I close my eyes, place my head back on the wall and take deep breaths.
One minute passed.
I feel smell of the scent and my whole body burns with the heat I'm feeling right now. I've started dreaming again. It feels like he's just in front of me.
"What are you doing here?"
I instantly open my eyes hearing the voice. My eyes go wide and I frantically look to my both sides noticing his arms on either side. I look at him, I heave heavily.
Clutching the hem of my top I gulp down the dryness.
My eyes looking at nothing but in his eyes. I feel my eyes wet. I gulp again.
Don't Alicia. Go away. My thinking self reminds me but I feel myself trapped between his arms, lost in him.
"I..." I look in his eyes, one by one.
"You?" He whispers.
"I was passing by." I say.
"You are in the classroom." He states.
"You won." I start with something else to change the subject. "Congratulations." I lightly smile through nervousness.
He just stares. I look down and blink. I don't want to cry.
"The post belongs to you. It has always." I speak, trying to run away from what I'm feeling now. I want nothing but to hug him, feel him. His closeness killing me in a way I couldn't imagine.
"Everyone is so happy. Dean is happy. He's proud of you." I say on the edge of sniffing.
"And you?" He asks looking dead in my eyes.
The lump struck in my throat as I try to gulp it down.
I again ignore his words and ask. "Everyone's happy but you seem lost somewhere. You should be happy, you've achieved what you have wanted."
"I'm trying to make myself believe that I win but I'm failing." He says. His eyes not leaving mine. I try to understand him.
"I'm repeating it to myself that I am going to win the elections and Rickard is going to lose. That all the students, dean, my friends, all are on my side to make me the winner but it doesn't seem true to me." He moves closer. I throw my head back on the wall and close my eyes.
You are inviting the trouble. Don't fall, just go. I hear my thinking self pleading to me.
"You know what is true?" I open my eyes listening to him. Definitely he can notice that my eyes are brimming.
"That I lose and he wins." His hoarse voice makes me weak.
He moves closer that our noses are about to touch, an inch away. "And you know why?"
I step back as if to vanish myself in the wall. My eyes are glued to his and I see a hint of redness.
"Why?" The words left my mouth as a whisper.
"Because he has you, partner." He places his forehead on mine.
My skin burns at the touch. I feel feverish. My lips shiver.
"In spite of having everyone's support I still lose." He murmurs.
I close my eyes giving way to my tears.
"I'm not important." I say.
"I wish that was true." His nose rubs mine lightly.
"You are not giving up on me, are you?" I ask feeling him. So close and mine. I can feel his breath. I feel his hands sliding down the wall only to end up holding my hands.
His soft hands travel up my skin stopping at my arms. He pulls his forehead a little away and I open my eyes to look into his.
"How can I?" He asks is disbelief.
"Don't you remember?" I look at him searching the answer.
"What?" I whisper-asked.
He moves closer towards my right ear. I feel his chin on my cheek and his breath on my ear.
"If in future I would do something wrong or if I hurt you, although I know I would never hurt you but if I would, promise me that you wont give up on me, promise me that you won't let go of me." He whispers. I feel my eyes losing control and shedding tears flawlessly.
"Remember something?" He asks and I invisibly nod.
I don't know what to feel right now. Happier than ever or sadder?
"I promised in a heartbeat, partner. I'm not breaking my any promise this time."
In the next moment I feel his lips on my skin. I scoot closer as he places a soft but long kiss on my neck.
Alicia, what are you doing?
I open my eyes listening to my thinking self. My chest starts to heave but I couldn't move.
"Tell me." He demands holding my face in his hands. He wipes my tears with his thumbs and shakes his head.
"You are becoming subtle. Your eyes always let me in but your body pushes me away. I want you to let me know." He stresses on his words making me sob.
I'm scared of losing it.
Don't tell him. Remember master has your family Alicia. You are puting them in misery. My thinking self begs me.
"Tell me what's bothering you." He looks in my eyes searching for an answer. He has always been doing this. Searching my eyes.
"Zayn." I cry. My hand moves up to his chest. I find it frantically but its not there. I need it to hold myself. I need to hold it to hold my pieces together.
"It's not there." He whispers wiping my face. "What's the point wearing the chain when there's no one to hold." He hugs me.
Tight. Tighter than ever.
I give in and sob. The shoulder I needed, the warmth I missed, my strength, my everything is with me right now. All the emotions find their way to my eyes.
"Zayn...my..." I sob.
Alicia! You need to put yourself together and think twice before you screw up! My thinking self scolds.
I push him away. I'm panting to death.
His eyes look into mine. I shake my head.
"No." I sob. I place my hands on my mouth as I register what I just did.
"No." I run away.
I run and run till I'm out of breath. I feel the wind hitting my face as I stand alone in the middle of the ground.
Oh my god. What have I done?
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