Ryan's POV
My head starts to pound as soon as I open my eyes for the day, my body completely drenched in sweat. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes through a yawn, quickly realizing it has to be over eighty-five degrees in this room. Nikki sleeps soundly next to me, his mouth wide open as he snorts out a loud snore.
And he talks about me snoring too loud.
I sigh as I run my fingertips over his back lightly, the small stubs coming back wet from his own sweat.
"Baby, wait! Can we sit down and talk about this please? We're supposed to be working on our communication skills, remember?" Nikki storms into the house behind me and I let out a frustrated groan.
I should've never suggested therapy. All it's done is been a complete pain in my fucking ass.
"Fine." I throw my hands in the air before plopping down on the couch. "Let's communicate." I mock the word as I roll my eyes and he huffs before sitting down next to me.
"You know, for being the one that suggested working on our communication, you sure are the one that runs away from it the most. You can't just ditch me, you have to tell me how you feel." I scoff at his words and he lowers his eyes at me with a stern look.
"Fine. I feel like you were a super douche with Danny. There was no reason to walk up guns ablaze. We were just talking."
I'm not really mad about the punch. I'm more upset that he's still treating me as if he owns me, which was a major problem the first time around.
"He's a creep. I saw the way he was looking at you, and you didn't really help the situation much by letting him think we weren't together." He quirks an eyebrow as he looks into my eyes, his voice clearly upset.
He has a point. I could've been a little more forthcoming about not being available, and I could tell that Danny was flirting with me, too.
But maybe I just liked being seen as a normal, sane person and not a broken toy that needs fixing.
"You're right, and I'm sorry about that. He asked me if I was your wife and I just said no and left it at that. I should've backed it up with we were trying again. I just feel awkward when people ask me shit like that, it's a lot to try and explain." His shoulders relax when my tone of voice changes from hostile to apologetic.
"That's why I just call you my wife regardless. It's easier, and you'll be my wife again eventually, right?"
"Probably."
"Probably?" His eyebrow quirks in disbelief as he lets out a sharp breath, his eyes wide. "What do you mean probably? Is marriage not the goal anymore?"
"I mean, yeah, I guess it is." I sit back onto the couch with a shrug of my shoulders as I stare at the ceiling. "But I think we have a long way to get there if you're still acting like I'm one of your possessions and not a living human being with feelings."
"That's fair." His upper lip stretches over his top teeth as he scratches the skin under his nose with his fingernail. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come in so hot, but I'm not apologizing for punching him."
"Honestly, I probably would've punched him, too, if he said that shit to me. You were right, he is a fuckin' tool." I shake my head as I grab the pillow next to me and pull it to my chest.
"Can we just write this one off? We both weren't that great." He dips down, laying his head on my pillow.
"Do you think I have an anger problem? Is that why you said what you said before I came back inside?"
"What?" He starts to laugh until he sees my pained expression, his face falling as he cups my cheek with his palm. "I mean, you do like to defend yourself with your hands more than your words and that's probably not the best way to handle yourself, but it doesn't bother me. You don't normally use it as your first tactic, and the other person usually deserves it so I can't say anything. I really didn't mean what I said in a bad way. I think it's sexy that you can handle yourself."
"Oh, Jesus." I roll my eyes, the corners of his lips turning up into a grin. "Yes, we can write this one off. Let's just not mention it at all. If Wylie finds out that she had the chance to go to a vet's office and you ruined it, she'll probably punch you."
It didn't take us that long to talk through our anger, and we surprisingly made it through only minimally scathed. We're definitely getting better at our conflict resolution, and for that I'm grateful.
I feel like we'll need those skills a lot more than I was hoping to.
I shimmy out of my pajamas and put on shorts and a t-shirt to go make myself some coffee, Tom greeting me at the table with his own cup as he looks down at his morning paper.
"The heat wake you?" His head nods toward me as I take a cup from the cabinet and pour the rich, brown treat into it.
"I think so. Why is it so hot in here?" I flop down into the chair across him, a happy smile tugging at my lips for our new ritual seating arrangement.
"The AC shut off during the night. I fiddled with the dial for about thirty minutes, but the outside unit just won't kick on. I know all about vehicle AC's, but that's a totally different beast. Trying to get a repair man out here won't be easy, so we might have to tough it out for a few days."
"I'd be happy to look at it." I shrug my shoulders and he shoots me a confused look, setting his paper back down on the table. "I know a little bit about them. One of my best friends way back when was a handyman, and my ex and I had a really crappy old unit in our house at the time. I'd help him fix it, and I learned a little along the way. Saved myself a lot of money from it, too."
"You continue to surprise me, darlin'." His belly shakes as he starts to chuckle. "It's all yours."
"I can't guarantee that I can fix it, but I can guarantee I'll try." I shoot him a wink, the hot coffee burning my lips as I take a sip.
"Momma. It's hot." Wylie slowly walks into the room with her bedhead nearly sticking straight up on one side, her eyes barely open.
"I know, baby. The air conditioning stopped working."
"Fix it." She bounces on the balls of her feet as she whines, her whole body jiggling. "I can't do this, momma. I can't." Her tiny feet turn around to walk back to her room and I snort out a laugh at how melodramatic she is.
"She gets that from Nikki." I tilt my head to where she once stood and Tom purses his lips as he nods in agreement.
"She sure as hell does. She's a funny little thing, she talks like an adult. Acts like one, too."
"That's all she's really been around and she absorbs everything everyone does and says. She has one little girl that she plays with sometimes, but that's about it. I should probably put her in some type of preschool to remind her she's a child." I blow into my cup of coffee in an attempt to cool it off, knowing the heat in the house isn't helping it at all.
Hot coffee is suddenly not appealing anymore.
"Why the fuck is it so hot?" Nikki walks into the room in an identical manner to Wylie, the side of his hair sticking up just like hers.
"AC's out." Tom whips his paper back out, bringing his cup to his lips.
"Jesus Christ, call a repairman then." Nikki shuffles to the refrigerator, shoving his head into it.
"I did. She's sitting right here." Tom waves his hand at me and Nikki's eyes pop back out over the side of the door.
"What?"
"I'm going to look at it right now since apparently you and your daughter are too precious to be hot." Tom laughs along with me as I put my coffee cup in the sink.
"Since when do you know anything about AC systems?" Nikki's eyebrow raises so far that it nearly hits his hair line, his head shaking in confusion.
"Since always, I just have never had any problems at the house." I shrug my shoulders, his face contorting into a weird look. "You got a tool bag, Tom?"
"Yes, ma'am. It's right on the front porch by the grill."
I give them a wave goodbye before walking out the door, silently hoping it's something I can actually handle just so I can show Nikki off.
Nikki's POV
"God, she's so weird. I feel like I've learned more about her in the three days we've been here than the entire four years that I've known her." I tilt my head to the side as I look out the dining room window where I can watch her, her skinny arms setting the tool bag on top of the AC and digging through it.
"There will always be more stuff to learn, Nikki. Always. You're a very lucky man with that one."
"Oh, trust me, I know. I don't know why the hell she chose me, but I feel like I should be kissing her feet every damn day." I sit in the seat across from him, my eyes firmly planted on the woman on the other side of the window.
"You should." Tom snorts out a laugh as he throws his paper to the side to turn around and watch her, too. "Look at that! She got the panel off. Now she's cookin' with some heat."
We sit and watch her in complete bewilderment as she picks apart the machine that's four times her size, her head popping up with her tongue stuck out in deep thought every few moments.
It's almost exhilarating to watch her work.
Why did I never realize how useful she is?
I mean, I've always thought she was useful, but I never knew she was so resourceful. She seems to be good at everything she tries to do, I don't think I've ever seen her fail at anything. She absolutely kills it at everything she does.
Did I just not see it before?
Or was I not looking at all?
We hear a happy squeal before her hand lifts up in the air with a round piece of metal, scorch marks all over the top of it.
"Well, I'll be damned." Tom mutters under his breath, his lips twisting into the biggest grin I've ever seen him have.
"I think I figured it out!" Ryan bursts through the door a few seconds later, sweat pouring from her brow. "The start capacitor is all burned up! It must've popped from the heat. Is there a hardware store around here, Tom?" She talks a mile a minute, her smile beaming with pride as she waves the part in front of us for us to see the burn marks.
I don't think I've ever been more in love than I am right now.
"Hot damn, little lady!" Tom takes it out of her hands to inspect it carefully. "There's a shop right in town. Give me a minute to change into my day clothes and I'll take you."
"Thank you!" She pumps her fists in the air in triumph.
"Why y'all so loud?" Wylie's sleepy voice comes from the hallway, her eyes heavy with exhaustion.
"Your mom figured out what's wrong with the air conditioning, she's gonna fix it for us." I shoot Ryan a wink and she looks down bashfully.
"I knew you could fix it!" Wylie's eyes spring open as she sprints into the room and latches onto Ryan's legs. "Good job, momma!"
"Thank you, my love. Grandpa and I have to go into town for what I need, but it won't take too long." Ryan pats the top of her head, neither of their smiles faltering.
"Can I come?!" Wylie hops up and down in excitement and Ryan gives her a nod.
"Of course you can. You wanna come, too?" She turns toward me and I shake my head.
"Nah. I've got a couple ideas I want to get down on paper before I lose them if that's alright." I grab her hand and pull her into me, my lips landing on her forearm.
"Okay, babe."
The house is empty within twenty minutes and the sound of Tom's beat up Chevy fades with every second that passes, leaving me sitting at the table alone with just my journal and a pen.
I spent nearly two years completely blank on all creative fronts, but now I can't seem to get ideas to stop swirling around my head. My brain is constantly running at full speed lately and it feels amazing.
I never realized how much Ryan inspired me until she was no longer around. Hopefully I won't have to experience that dead zone again, at least in relation to her.
Although, her whole 'probably' answer to my question of marriage yesterday hurt more than I'd like to admit. I don't want to pressure her into anything, because obviously that's never worked before, but I would like some type of solid reassurance that it's in our future.
Lips are speakin' chaos,
but her eyes are as blue as the sea
She's the only one I have ever seen myself being with for the long haul, and I would be devastated if she didn't feel the same way.
She's walkin' trouble with an innocence
Is it really that wrong that I want her to be my wife anyway? Dating seems so juvenile after everything we've been through.
She's sugar but she's spicy,
Licks the venom off her lips
If I had it my way, we'd be going to the courthouse tomorrow to make it official.
I just know I love her,
She's sent from up above for me
Maybe now that we've gotten through the last few weeks as a team, she'll start to change her mind about waiting. I don't know how much longer I can stomach being just her boyfriend.
She keeps me high, Miss Babykills
The phone ringing on the wall behind me catches me off guard, making me flinch and drop my pen. I let out an annoyed grunt as I stand up to answer it, the annoyance rapidly turning into full on anger when I hear her voice.
"Slow down, Donna. I can't understand you. Start over." My heart starts to race at her broken sobs, a burst of static coming through the line when she lets out a deep breath.
"There's something wrong with the baby. I came to the doctor and they're admitting me into the hospital because my white blood cell count is high." Her voice takes on that high pitched whine and my heart falls into my stomach.
"What does that mean?"
"Some type of infection. I don't know, Nikki. I'm scared. I need you here."
"I-" I squeeze my eyes shut as I let out a sharp breath. "Okay. It'll be a while before I get there." I resist the urge to bang my head against the wall, a large wave of anxiety filling my entire body.
"Just get here!" The line goes dead after she shouts and I hang the phone up, my heart beating so rapidly that it feels like it might burst right out of my chest.
Ryan is going to kill me.
-
"But we just got here!" Wylie stomps her foot in the dirt, her small face twisting into pure rage. "But I'm not done seeing animals, daddy!"
This is going even worse than I imagined.
Ryan takes off around the house without a word, a small box settled in her right hand. I try to call out to her, but she acts like she doesn't hear me as she disappears around the corner.
"I know. I'm so sorry, baby, but daddy has to go back for an emergency. I wouldn't make you leave if it wasn't really important, okay?" I kneel down on the ground next to her and she starts to scream at the top of her lungs.
No words. Just loud screams.
"Now, Wylie, you need to calm down, sweetheart. Y'all can come back whenever you want. Those animals aren't going anywhere. The next time you come, Mr. James might even have more." Tom rubs her back and does his best to soothe her, big tears falling down her face as she looks up at him.
At least he's not upset with me.
"But I'll miss you, grandpa." Her voice is so pitiful that it snaps my heart in two.
I hate myself right now.
"I'll miss you, too, munchkin. It won't be long until I see you again, though, okay? I promise."
"That's right. I promise we'll come back soon, Wylie." I lay my hands on her arms and she quickly takes a step back out of my reach, her eyes squinting at me.
"Fuck you, daddy!" Spit flies out of her mouth as she yells as loud as she can, her hands balled into tiny fists by her sides. "I am so mad at you!"
Ouch.
"Hey now-" I reach for her again, but she takes off running into the house, the sound of her wails getting softer once she gets through the front door.
I bow my head as I run my hand through my hair with a deep sigh, Tom placing his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.
"Just give her some space, son. She'll be fine after a while. They always are."
"I'm sorry for her, um, colorful language. We're working on that." I stand up from the ground, wiping the dirt off my pants as I shake my head.
"I think you were eight when you first told me 'fuck you,' but I'm not surprised she started earlier, she's a smart kid." He gives me a warm smile as I let out a deep breath.
"Her first word was 'shit.'"
Tom's belly jiggles as he lets out a loud laugh, his hand covering his mouth as he tries to stop, failing miserably. He slaps his leg as he snorts, tears starting to fill his eyes. I can't help but laugh along with him, momentarily forgetting the mess I just created.
"I fucked up, Tom. I really fucked up." I suck in a loud breath, my chest heaving with sadness. "We have to leave because I got Donna pregnant and something's wrong with the baby."
"Donna's the one you were with when you and Ryan broke up, yeah?" His eyebrow raises as he tries to understand the situation and I nod my head. "Did you cheat on Ryan?"
I never felt the need to really talk about Donna to Tom, she wasn't important enough. I told him the basics, but nothing like I did with Ryan, who I told him all about since day one in rehab.
And I sure as hell wouldn't have brought Donna here either.
If nothing ends up being wrong with the baby, I might very well lose my absolute mind at the fact that she ruined this for us.
"With Donna? No. It happened before Ryan and I got back together. Just really shitting timing."
"Well, that is pretty shitty." He pulls his lips back into a straight-lined grimace as he looks at the house. "But it'll be okay. Ryan won't let that get in between y'all. I see the way she looks at you."
"You think so?" I look at him hopefully, craving any sense of reassurance that I can get.
"I know so. Just don't be stupid, alright? Seems like you've used all your chances, don't blow this one." He gives me a stern look and I swallow a gulp.
"I'm gonna do my damndest." I look down at the ground, trying to find the right words to apologize for our abrupt departure. "I'm sorry that we didn't stay long. We really will come back soon, both of them love it here. I'm sure Ryan would love to have you in LA, too. You've made quite the impression on her."
"That's very mutual." I smile at his genuine tone of voice, a look of admiration filling his eyes. "I really like her, Nikki. She's good for you. And that baby girl is just the cutest damn thing I've ever seen in my life. Your Nona would've adored them both." He slaps his palm onto my back and I suck back a few tears.
I know she would have.
"I think so, too. I better get in there and start packing. We're not gonna get back until like midnight as it is. I really am sorry, Tom."
"Ah, don't worry about it. We'll see each other soon. We both have promises to keep to that little fire cracker in there now. I don't plan on breaking mine."
"Me neither." I give him a weak smile as I climb up the steps to the front porch, silently hoping that Wylie's calmed down by the time I get inside.
But you know what they say, hope breeds eternal misery.
Her eyes squint at me so hard that it looks like they're closed, her lips kneading together as she lets out an angry grunt. Ryan doesn't even bother looking at me, continuing to sloppily throw our clothes into suitcases. She must've come through the back door while Tom and I were talking.
She has to be really mad if she's not even folding.
"It's already a lot cooler in here." I let out an anxious chuckle as I try to lighten the mood and she just nods her head.
"I couldn't leave him in the heat." Her voice is completely monotone, devoid of any emotion.
"I'm impressed that you-"
"Apologize to your father for what you said." Ryan cuts me off as she pushes on Wylie's shoulder and she lets out an unenthused whine in return. "Wylie."
Ryan's mom voice would make a grown ass man stop dead in their tracks, and I should know. Even so, the tiny toddler rolls her eyes as she lets out an angry breath and looks at the floor.
"Sorry."
"That was sincere." Sarcasm drips from my lips and Ryan only looks at me long enough to shoot me a dirty look before turning back to her messy pile of clothes.
"She's allowed to be upset, Nikki." Ryan's voice is hoarse with sudden emotion, giving me the impression we're not really talking about the angry tyke.
"I know that. I'm not saying that she's not. In fact, I completely understand her being upset, because I'm upset, too."
"Yeah, well, you weren't the one that was promised a week away and ended up getting three days." Wylie nods her head in agreement as she points at her mom and I roll my eyes.
"You didn't even want to come." My brows raise as I challenge her and an odd, unsettling chuckle comes from her throat.
"You know what? You're right." She shrugs her shoulders as she throws the filled suitcases on the floor. "I think I'm done talking for the day. You have more important priorities to take care of and we have a long drive ahead of us. Let's just go." She shoulder checks me as she pulls the suitcases out of the bedroom, Wylie shooting me another death glare as she walks out behind her.
This will be a long drive home.
Ryan's POV
"Bye, Tom. Thank you for welcoming us into your home. I thoroughly enjoyed being here, and I know Wylie did, too." I wrap my arms around his neck in a hug, doing my very best to hold back my tears.
I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm leaving the only source of peace and stability I've found in weeks, and I'm petrified to go back home. What happens if it all just goes back to the way it was before we left?
"Thank you for fixing that piece of shit unit, and I really enjoyed y'all being here, too. Come back soon, okay?" I nod my head against his shoulder, a tear slipping out of my right eye. "Don't forget to stand up straight, honey. You're doin' fine." I squeeze my eyes shut at his words, all attempts to hide my emotions suddenly failing miserably.
"Thank you, Tom." I wipe my face with a self-deprecating laugh, falling into the car as fast as I can so he doesn't watch me cry any more than he already has.
"It's a sixty-five by five capacitor." I show the store employee the burned part in my hand and he nods his head before motioning to the isle a few down from us. "Thanks!"
It doesn't take me long to find what I need once I know where to look, a permanent grin carved into my face because I actually figured it out. The look on Nikki and Tom's faces will be a source of happiness for me for weeks to come.
"Thank you again!" I give the clerk a wave before grabbing Wylie's hand and sprinting out the door, the bells attached at the top ringing loudly.
"You got what you need, sweetheart?" Tom beats his thumbs on the steering wheel along to the music on the radio as we hop back into the truck.
"Yep!" I hold the box containing the new, un-burned, part and he gives me a chuckle. "It shouldn't take me very long to change it out, we'll have cool air in no time!"
"You really are something, Ryan." He shakes his head as he pulls out of the parking lot, taking the first right to get back to the house.
"So, what you're saying is, I'm better at grunt work than the other girls Nikki's brought home?" I laugh at my joke and he shoots me a weird look.
"You're the only girl Nikki's ever brought home, darlin'." His brows furrow as his eyes flick between me and the road, and I swallow a hard gulp.
I didn't know that.
"Really?"
"Well, yeah. He's talked about other girls every once in a while, but not like he does about you, and he's definitely never introduced me to any of them."
"Oh."
"I don't think he's ever thought they were important enough to bring around. Or maybe he just thought I wouldn't like them and would tell him so. I can be very outspoken about my thoughts if you haven't noticed." He flicks on his blinker to turn onto the dirt road leading to the house.
"I'm sure that's not true, Tom. You've been nothing but nice to me."
"Because I like you." He pats my knee and my cheeks turn pink as I look down at my lap. "You're a good girl, and you're good for him. I can see it. I don't think I could've picked anyone better for that boy."
"I'm really happy to be here. More than you know."
Wylie silently sobs as we pull onto the dirt road, her hand pressed against the glass of her window as we pass Mr. James' donkeys.
"No!" Her chest heaves as she hiccups through a cry and I just continue to stare out of my window with no idea how to soothe her when I'm just as upset. "But- but the pigs!"
Hot tears fall onto my cheeks as we watch the houses fade, my hand reaching behind me to take Wylie's. She sits up and twirls her fingers into mine, her forehead resting on the back of my seat as she continues to cry.
"I, um, I wrote a song for you today, while you were gone." Nikki clears his throat, his voice covered in guilt.
"I said I'm done talking, Nikki. Just drive."