Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

39. Birthdays

Warnings: Drug Use

Ryan's POV

"Come on, it'll be fun! Wylie is nearly three weeks old, she'll be fine for a few hours. I know a great babysitter, all the moms I know use her and I've heard a lot of compliments." Sharise pushes my shoulder, nearly knocking me off the couch.

"I don't know, Sharise. I haven't left Wylie with a stranger yet, I don't know how I feel about it. She's not even a month old." Anxiety runs through my body, thinking of leaving my newborn daughter with someone I've only just met.

"It's your fucking birthday, we have to do something. We haven't left this house since the guys left. I bet the guys are doing something fun for Nikki's birthday." I tilt my head to the side, she's not wrong.

Maybe I do deserve a little fun.

"Okay, but I have to meet her and get to know her first. She can come for dinner and meet Wylie, and we only go if Wylie likes her."

"Deal. I'll go get her number now."

"Hey, I'm gonna go take a shower. Come get me if the demon awakens, okay?" She gives me a thumbs up as the phone sits on her shoulder.

I frown when I see that I only have five pills left in my black bag. I only have a few in the bottle downstairs, too. I'll run out before the week is up. I shove that thought out of my mind as I pop one in my mouth.

I'll figure something out.

Sharise knocks on the door halfway through my shower and I reach for the lock, barely being able to unlock it without falling out of the shower.

"Is Wylie awake?"

"No, surprisingly not. I guess she decided she was gonna sleep now and keep us up later. The babysitter is coming for dinner in an hour, do you just want to order some pizza?"

"That was fast, and I'll never say no to pizza."

I turn off the shower and pull the curtain back, Sharise looking my naked body up and down.

"Are you checking me out?"

"I think I am. You look amazing for having had a baby only three weeks ago."

I smile, grateful for her compliment. I've lost over twenty pounds, needing to lose about twenty more until I'm satisfied. It's not hard to lose weight when your diet consists of opiates.

The phone rings downstairs, snapping me out of my thoughts. I wrap the towel around me and sprint downstairs before it wakes up my sleeping child. I finally have a little breathing time, I'll be damned if that gets ruined by a fucking phone call.

"Hello?" I'm out of breath, having left a trail of water drops all the way from my bathroom.

"Hey, baby. What are you doing?"

"I just got out of the shower. I might have murdered you if the phone woke up your daughter, she's actually taking a pretty good nap today."

"Damn, I wanted to talk to her."

"She's a baby, Nik. She can't talk." I tell him that every time, but he always argues that she needs to hear his voice so she doesn't forget who he is.

He won't admit it to me, but he's having a pretty hard time being away from us.

When he left for tour again I had to pry Wylie from his arms, and if I hadn't I'm sure she'd be in whatever state they're in right now with baby headphones covering her ears. I had to promise to talk to her about him as much as I could so she knows who her daddy is and how much he loves her. I think he cried a bucket full of tears before he finally said goodbye.