Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

97. Remember to Breathe

Two-update day since it's my birthday, and I will most likely have to ghost again this weekend. Sorry, guys. 😭

Warnings: Suicide & The Aftermath, Drug & Alcohol Use

Nikki's POV

"Baby?" I knock on the bathroom door softly, leaning my body onto the wall next to it. "Are you almost ready? We promised Sebastian we'd be there early to help set up."

"Don't you fucking dare say his fucking name in my house!" Her shout barrels through the other side of the door and I let out a sharp breath.

"Let me try, babe." Sharise's manicured hand grips my shoulder and I gratefully step aside to let her try and get Ryan out of there. "She's just hurting. Don't take anything she says to heart."

"I know." I sigh. "It's just been a really long week."

That's the understatement of the year.

All progress we made since going to Idaho was not only ripped away, but we regressed even further than where we were before.

Ryan hasn't left the house since she found out about Riley. She barely eats, and when she does, half the time she throws it up. She sleeps at least sixteen hours a day, and when she is awake, she can barely go ten minutes without falling into hysterics.

It absolutely shatters my heart to see her take two steps forward only to watch her be kicked five steps back. This woman can never catch a break and I don't know how she's still standing upright.

"Come on, baby. We gotta go. We can't be late to this." Sharise bangs on the door harder than I did and it swings open to reveal a puffy-faced Ryan wearing the same black dress she wore on our last date.

It doesn't hug her hips in the same way anymore.

"Jesus Christ, can y'all not give me a fucking second?" She grumbles as she pushes past us into the bedroom, sitting down to strap a tall pair of heels to her feet.

"We've given you two hours. It's time to go now." Sharise matches Ryan's rude tone, Ryan's eyes squinting at her. "Don't give me that fuckin' face. This is just as hard for me as it is for you, okay?! Instead of being a bitch, how about you realize that you're not the only one hurting." My eyes widen as Sharise yells at her and I take a step back away from them.

Today is not the day to throw myself into the middle of a cat fight.

"I'm sorry." Ryan's demeanor crumbles as she chokes out a sob, cradling her head in her hands. "I'm sorry." She repeats, her head shaking.

"It's okay, baby. Now come on. We'll get through today together." Sharise walks over and wraps her arm around Ryan's shoulder, leading her out of the room.

I walk behind them as they hang onto each other for stability, tears stinging the back of my eyes at how pitiful they look; like if they didn't have each other to stand with, then they wouldn't be standing at all.

Tommy greets us at the bottom of the stairs with hopeful eyes, his mouth turning into a frown when they blow past him without a word.

"You sure you're good with the kids, T-Bone?" I slap my hand onto his shoulder and he gives me a sad nod.

"Yeah, man. We'll be fine. Don't worry about it." He gives me a weak smile as he pulls me into a hug. "Grab me a program, will you?"

"Of course." I pat his back before he pulls away from me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you for staying with them. I don't want Wylie there. I don't know what it's gonna be like and she's struggling enough as it is."