Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

10. Break Throughs

Warnings: Mentions of Previous Drug Use & Past Trauma

Ryan's POV

"Can you not stare at me as I eat today, Tom?" I roll my eyes as Tommy has the bewildered look on his face again, and I shove a french fry in my mouth.

"Sorry, man. I just like to watch you eat." He tilts his head back in embarrassment when he realizes how weird that sounded and I let out a laugh.

"I'd like to watch you eat." Vince wiggles his eyebrows at me. I'm getting used to the lesbian jokes and just flip him off.

"Give her a break, Vin." Nikki gives him a dirty look and Vince raises his hands in defense.

"Man, I'm so stoked we're getting our 30 day chips today!" Tommy does a little dance in his seat and I smile.

"I haven't been clean for 30 days since I was like eleven." Nikki laughs.

"Seven years for me."

"God, I don't even know how long it's been for me. Heather is coming tomorrow and I'm so stoked to show her."

"She's gonna be so proud of you, Tom." I reach over and pat his hand and he beams at me.

I can't believe we've already been here for a month.
We've come a long way since our first week. I never thought I'd say this, but this rehab has been the best thing to ever happen to me.

I shyly give Nikki a smile and he winks at me. Turns out, I can actually make my own friends. It sounds pathetic, but these guys have turned into the best friends I've ever had. The insecurities I had about whether or not we'll stay friends when we get out is fading more and more everyday. I know they're going to Vancouver when we get out, but we all promised to get together when they get back.

Vince's divorce lawyer turned out to be pretty damn good and he's supposed to bring me my first draft of my divorce papers this evening. So far, Kelsey hasn't made a big fuss and hasn't tried to contact me, which gives me a little hope that she won't be a problem going forward.

Good luck with that.

I don't really know what Nikki and I are doing, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it. We've been going to the beach and talking about anything and everything that we can. I don't know that anyone knows as much about me as he does, which to be honest kind of scares me a little. He's been writing music, but he's being a brat and won't let me read it. He tells me they're not ready yet.

"Okay, guys. I have to go to Dr. Levinsky now." I get up to throw my plate away and Nikki stands up and kisses my cheek.

"Have fun with that tightwad." Vince scoffs.

I'm pretty sure he tried to fuck her and she said no. So, naturally, he's bitter about it.

Despite our rocky start, Dr. Mouse has helped me quite a bit. I'd never admit it, but she's one of the best counselors I've ever had.

"Have fun in your gay boy band therapy." I wave as I take my plate and throw it away, and Tommy flips me off.

I walk along the hallway, looking out of the big floor length windows to the beach. Who knew it felt this good to be clean? I haven't even had a Phenergan in two weeks.