Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

15. Goodbye

Warnings: Mentions of Previous Drug Use

Ryan's POV

A few days, several phone calls to cancel the rental house and the car, and $250,000 later, the judge approved me to go to Vancouver.

I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm doing. Is this the right thing to do? I've never been to Canada. But if I stay, what am I gonna do? I don't have a house, and my only friends will be in Vancouver. I'll be darting around LA avoiding heroin and Kelsey. At least in Vancouver I'll be around clean friends and out of Kelsey's grip. I'd be lying if I said my stomach hasn't churned in anxiety every day since, though.

"Doc said it's a badass cabin. Completely in solitary, nobody can fuck with us. Just us and the music." Nikki drones on about how excited he is to get out and start making music again.

"Have you told Doc I'm coming? Have you even told Mick?" His face falls and he rolls his eyes, annoyed that I ruined his excitement.

"Like I've said a million fucking times, Doc doesn't control me, and Mick won't give two shits. He likes you." I raise my eyebrow at his snark remark. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm just really excited and you keep shitting on it."

"I'm not trying to shit on it, Nik. I'm just scared to cause problems for y'all."

"You won't cause any problems. If anything, you'll keep us sane. Tommy and I can get pretty wild, and you calm us down. I'm sure Doc will be thanking you by the end of it." I roll my eyes and nod, exasperated with arguing. I've already made the decision and spent a shit ton of money to go, so there's no reason for me to argue.

"Okay. I'm excited, too." I smile and he kisses my cheek. "Where will I sleep?" I hadn't thought about where I'll sleep yet, that probably needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

"With me." Nikki looks confused at my question and my mouth drops open a little. I didn't know that we were at that point in the relationship to room together. Do we even have a relationship? I guess we'll find out when we get out of here.

"Did you get chains for the bed?" I nudge his shoulder.

"Shit, that needs to go on my to do list."

-

"60 days guys! You've made it all the way through and you only have today and tomorrow to wrap stuff up and you're out!" The counselor speaks to the twenty-five of us in the common room, holding onto the box of chips to pass out.

60 whole fucking days. 6-0. 10 6's. 6 10's. That's a long fucking time.

"When you come up to get your chips, I want you to tell everyone the biggest thing you've learned in your stay here."

Everyone groans.

"Hey, shut up. I like to hear what you have to say, it helps me sleep at night." A few giggles erupt in the room and I sigh with nervousness.

Speaking in front of a room full of people is still my recurrent nightmare. I've worked through a lot of shit here, but that's definitely not one of them.

Several people get up and recite general lessons that have no thought behind them, and Tommy is up next.

"Hey, dudes! Man, this is so fuckin cool." He raises his coin up to the light to look at it. "The biggest thing I've learned in here is to think about others for a change. It doesn't always have to be about me and getting what I want." The room claps as he comes and sit back down.

"Yeah, thanks." Vince snatches the coin out of the counselors hand and shoves it in his pocket. "Uh- I've learned that the outside world is a lot better than in these four fuckin walls." The counselor rolls his eyes and shoos him back to his seat.