Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

49. Burn it Down

Warning: Drug Use, Smut, Violence

Nikki's POV

Slash.

Saul mother fucking Hudson.

The living room carpet probably has cuts through it where I've paced back and forth waiting for Ryan to come home. I don't think I've ever been this mad. Or this confused.

I've listened to the message nearly fifty times now, I could tell his voice the moment I heard it. I've listened to it so many times that it gets more and more distorted with every pass. Why is he calling her? Who the fuck does he think he is that he thinks he can 'check on' my fucking wife? I've figured out that the night he's asking about in the message is our wedding night. That's who she was calling on the pay phone and wouldn't tell me who it was. Why is she calling him when she's drunk and upset? Isn't it my job to make her feel better? Sure, I wasn't exactly the greatest person that night, but I would've comforted her if she told me she was upset. If she had just talked to me, then the night would've ended right there and I would've never fucked around. This is all her fault.

At what point did Slash and my wife become friends? Did they meet when I was on tour? We never hang out with him, he's never been around. I haven't hung out with him since the night I nearly died. I haven't even seen him-

"Hey, we met at that party, right?"

"Yeah, the party at Doug's a while back."

"It was nice to see you again, but we're on a date."

Doug's party. No wonder she was so fucking rude and ready to get him away from us at the restaurant, she's been fucking him the whole time. She was pregnant at Doug's party. Oh my God, she fucked him while she was pregnant with my kid. She's probably fucking him right now. The bitch had the nerve to flip shit about Brandi while she's fucking one of my friends. She even had the audacity to yell at me about Brandi's phone number when she's been calling him behind my back for months.

I knew it. I knew this was what was happening, I felt it before we even left for tour.

What am I going to do? She's the mother of my child, she's the love of my life. She's the only person that's ever loved every part of me and understood what I go through on a daily basis. I can't be without her. But if it were flipped, she'd leave me in a heart beat. Can I really be the weak mother fucker that lets her stay? Can I really be the hypocritical mother fucker that leaves when I've done the same thing? She could take Wylie from me. I fight back the tears that threaten to spill over my lashes, I won't let myself look weak.

Everything is red when I hear the garage door open and plastic bags shuffling around. I try to take deep breaths, but it just ends up sounding like I'm hyperventilating. Nothing will calm me down now. I'm surprised I haven't burned the whole fucking house down.

"Where the fuck were you?" My voice echoes through the house and she flinches in surprise at my volume, looking up at me in confusion.

"The grocery store?" She waves her hands at the bags of groceries like I'm stupid, which only makes me even angrier.

"I heard Slash's message, you fucking lying bitch!" I slam my fist onto the counter and she drops the bag of apples she has in her hands in anger.

"You need to calm the fuck down right now, our daughter is here. I don't give a fuck what you think you heard, slamming shit around and trying to scare me is not going to work." Her eyes bore into mine and she doesn't miss a beat. The way she never shows fear annoys me to my core, she didn't even flinch when I told her I heard the message.