Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

86. Nikki's Three

Warnings: A lot of Drug Use, Abuse, & Death.
Based off true events, but heavily fictionalized. (Some of the dates are guesstimates)

Nikki's POV

"Are you leaving?" Ryan looks at me with sad eyes as she throws the dishes from lunch into the sink.

She barely said a word while we ate, and her whole 'you have to promise not to get upset at what I wrote' statement has been ringing through my brain over and over again, driving me fucking insane.

"Yeah, babe. I want to go get that shit over with." I place my fingers under her chin as she gives me a nod. "I'll come back for dinner? You'll be okay by yourself with Sharise out for the night?"

"I'm fine, and that sounds good, Nik. I love you." She purses her lips for me to kiss and I happily oblige, my pants getting tighter around my groin when I linger for a minute too long.

"Okay, I'm going before I can't make myself go. I love you. I'll see you later." I rip myself away from her even though my body's screaming not to, giving Wylie's hair a ruffle before I walk out of the door.

"Love you, daddy!"

"I love you, too, babygirl."

The walk back down to my temporary home is hot, my pits breaking out into a sweat before I even make it out of Ryan's driveway.

I bet she wrote something about Kelsey.
That'll be fun to listen to.

I sigh in frustration as I unlock my front door and rip my shirt off to battle the heat, plopping down on the couch in front of my journal.

I should've asked her how she chose her three things, there's only one that really pops into my mind automatically. Maybe two.

I chew on the end of my pen as I turn to a blank sheet of paper, maybe I'll think of more as I start to write.

One
June 1965

The heat is almost unbearable when we make it past the southern border, because this lemon of a Volkswagen Karmann Ghia doesn't have any air conditioning. We've been driving for hours in a thick, humid fog and my stomach starts to twist into hunger.

"Roll your window down, you'll be fine." My asshole stepfather waves his hand at me to shut me up when I start to complain that I'm sweating out of every pore in my body.

My clothes are soaked.

The heat and the hunger aren't the only problems with this trip. Bell, the asshole's dog, is liable to rip me limb from limb at any given moment. I do my best to not make eye contact with her in hopes that she'll completely forget I'm here.

"I'm hungry, momma." I whine, my mother not even bothering to look back in my direction.

"Oh, honey, look at how beautiful that is!" She grabs my step father's arm and points to the green hills in the distance, and he only gives her a grunt in response.

"I said I'm hungry." I try to speak a little bit louder, but it does absolutely no good.

"That might be the prettiest landscape I've ever seen!" Her voice takes on an annoying, shrill tone and I roll my eyes as I sit back in my seat.

She never pays attention to me.

Goosebumps pop up all over my arms when the dog next to me lets out a low growl, her lip curling up just enough to show me her teeth to let me know she could eat me if she wanted to.

I sit in silence for the next four hours, praying for the dog to suddenly combust into dust. I roll my toy truck in between my hands, noticing every scratch and dent and imperfection. A second hand store wouldn't even take it for free, but it's the only thing I have so I make do.