Perrie's POV:
I woke up the next morning without a headache. Can't say that about the other four though. Beth woke up groaning at about 1 p.m. and the rest followed. All of them took Advil and they were all quiet trying to handle the pain until it started kicking in.
Today I cooked for a change and although it was nowhere near Beth's level of cooking I at least tried. They all thanked me and it did taste okay. It was a decent breakfast.
"Why did you let me drink so much." Jesy mumbled.
"Oh now you regret it? What happened to 'We need to celebrate this!'" I mocked her. She flipped me off and I laughed.
A few hours later Leigh, Jade and Jesy stopped complaining since their medicine kicked in.
Beth was still quiet though.
"What's wrong babe?" I asked.
"Dunno it's still hurting." She shrugged.
I checked her forehead for temperature but it was all normal.
"Is it hurting too much?" I asked. She shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess it's normal. Don't worry babe." She said and kissed my cheek.
I was hesitant. Usually she should be fine by now but I decided to let it go for now.
We all watched a movie together seeing as all of them, even with painkillers, still felt pretty drained. I'm so glad I didn't drink that much yesterday.
The movie ended and I looked to Beth.
"Babe." I said and stood up to get a tissue.
"What's wrong?" Jade asked hearing my shock.
"Your nose is bleeding." I said to Beth who didn't even seem to notice.
"Huh? Oh I didn't notice." She said as she lifted her head back so nothing would spill.
I held the tissue to her nose and let her face forward.
"Is your head still hurting?" Leigh asked worriedly.
"Yeah. But it's fine guys. A bleeding nose is not that abnormal." She said.
"No but in combination with your headache, which should've been long numbed by now, it does seem a bit dangerous." Jade said.
"I'm fine you guys. It's just bad timing. What could it be anyways?" She said trying to decrease the worry we had.
"You have to get it checked." Jesy said.
"No. I'm fine. If it happens again then fine. But you guys are overreacting. Thank you for worrying but I'm fine. If I was feeling that it were too much I'd tell you." She said.
"Promise you'll tell me when it happens again?" I said still holding the tissue to her nose.
She nodded and I knew she wouldn't. That's just who she is.
Eventually the girls left and bid their goodbye to us.
Beth's nose stopped bleeding after a while but it definitely bled long enough.
My gut is telling me this isn't normal. She has been dizzy a lot before all of this. She never said it but I've noticed it. I always thought it was because she didn't eat enough so I always made her eat more, but maybe it wasn't that. Maybe there is something seriously wrong.
Now this is a major red flag. Her headache won't disappear with Advil and then she gets nose bleeding? Call it overprotective-ness but I don't feel like that's normal at all.
"Babe stop worrying. I'm fine. It's all fine." She said trying to calm me down.
I pray to God that nothings wrong with her health. I can't lose her. I can't.
Alright no need for these thoughts already. She has to be fine. She's right. This is only my worry and protectiveness taking over.
"Alright." I smiled and she smiled back and kissed me.
"Now, how do you feel about me finally teaching you how to cook." She smiled.
I squealed and said, "Yes!"
Believe it or not I was waiting for her to teach me. If I could cook like Beth I could spoil her with food for once. Well she doesn't necessarily enjoy eating but whatever.
She smiled and kissed my cheek, "Come on then." She pulled me with her.
After all this time since I've met Elizabeth Fields, these sparks have never wavered or become less. Nor has the warmth or the electricity. It's simply incredible.
I know what you're thinking, after all this time you probably got used to it, but believe me, that won't ever happen. If anything, these sparks become stronger by the second. I have no idea if they'll ever stop being this strong.
"So... do you want to learn the brutal way or the gentle way?" She asked.
"What helps me learn the fastest?" I asked.
"Well... The brutal way would be that you have to do everything alone with just a recipe. Until you perfected it completely without my help." She said.
"And what's the gentle way?" I asked.
"I'll help you with the dish at first a bit, like giving advice." She said.
"I'll take that." I said and smiled.
"Thought so." She chuckled.
So she did gave me a recipe and on the recipe there were clear instructions as well. But it as was all at once. Like cut the onions but check on the meat you're frying. Whilst doing that add as much salt as needed and look how much it takes for the things in the oven. Then boil the rice and make sure nothing burns.
It was definitely gonna be hard to do all that.
"Wow. And you wanted me to do that all alone? I'd have burned down the kitchen." I said.
"No I would have watched you. And I mean that's the way I learned. It's not impossible." She shrugged.
So we began. I started out with what was on the recipe, meaning cutting the vegetables.
It was all chill until Beth told me I had to fry the potatoes at the same time. Otherwise I would take forever if I did everything slowly.
I did try to fry the potatoes and cut the vegetables at the same time.
"Careful on your hands babe." Beth said.
I nodded. Seeing that I'm struggling to even keep track with that simple job she gave me advice on how to manage both things at the same time.
"See? Now you got the hang of it." She said as I was having less trouble.
"How did you think about doing it that way? And how the hell did you manage to do this when you were fourteen? How didn't you burn the kitchen down?" I asked amazed.
Every time I watched Beth she made it seem so easy to cook. Just cut, check on the potatoes, take them out and then continue cutting. But this is brutal.
"I told You, the first time cooking this was an absolute fail. I didn't even get to the meat. I burned the potatoes too much and my cut vegetables fell to the floor because I panicked. If I wouldn't be helping you then trust me, you wouldn't ever wanna try this again." She chuckled.
"That definitely is brutal." I mumbled.
"It's effective." She shrugged.
After loads of struggle and advice from Beth I actually finished this meal.
"See? Doesn't look bad. Now the next time you will cook I'm gonna be helping less and less." She said.
I nodded and although this has been incredibly exhausting, I enjoyed it. Especially when Beth held my hand to show me how to cut correctly. It was quality time with my beautiful girlfriend.
"Well you have to taste it Now." Beth said.
"I'm gonna be disappointed by the taste though." I pouted.
"You don't know that, try." She said again.
"You have to try too." I said and got two forks out.
"Sure." She said. We both took a bite and I have to say, although it's not perfect yet, it's decent. Beth looked at me and smiled.
"Just a few more times and you'll have this down pat. Then I can teach you other meals." She smiled and kissed my cheek.
"Your mam wouldn't be teaching me like that would She?" I asked.
She shook her head and smiled, "Oh no she wouldn't. She'd be watching you with no mercy and let you fail incredibly. And if that was what came out when you finished she would say, 'It's not perfect yet.' And make you do it all over again the next day."
"And she really taught all of you that way?" I asked.
She nodded and smiled, "Looking back at it Now, it makes me happy she did. But at the moment when it actually happened I was so pissed. Especially because she wouldn't help me. And I was pissed at my siblings because they made fun of me while watching." She said.
I really would have loved to meet them. All of them.
"Are you fine Babe?" I asked.
"Yeah. Sometimes it just gets a little bit too much. I'm fine now. But there are days when I can't handle them being gone." She shrugged.
I hugged her and kissed her cheek.
"I know baba, but don't be sad, they are watching you incredibly proud of you. I mean we won a BRIT Award, who wouldn't be proud? They love you very much and I'm sure they want you to continue being on this great path." I said.
She just stayed quiet and we stayed in this embrace and this feeling of content will never appear except for when I'm with her.
"I love you so much, it's incredible how I survived before being with you." I whispers to her
"I ask myself how I survived without you by my side as well. And I love you too. So fucking much." She said with a shaky voice. I knew she was crying and I knew she needed that. God knows she still hasn't ever really let herself cry for more than fifteen minutes.
I lead us to the couch still hugging her and when we sat down I let her lean into me and we just sat there quiet and I know that's what she needed right now. Someone that doesn't say anything. Just a shoulder to cry on. And I also know that she wants that to be me. So I'll gladly be that.
It was obvious that a loss this big won't just disappear. I mean come on, it's literally her entire family. Obviously she has to have some days where it gets too much. It makes sense.
Something that I have been meaning to bring up though is the Power music video.
We all said it'd be a good idea if our mothers come in at the end of the video. How are we meant to do that? We can't just let Beth stay out of that shot or let her not have anyone by her side.
Everyone knows her family is gone, but that doesn't mean we can now shoot things like that and not care about how it makes her feel.
She knows all about the idea, and she agreed that it would be a good shot, but did she really mean that? I know she would never actually say when she feels left out or anything of the sorts.
My mam would be completely fine with somehow standing for Beth and me.
I'm gonna have to talk to Jade, Leigh and Jesy about this.
I noticed Beth fell asleep and I smiled to myself. Being the only thing that helps her sleep at night makes me feel special.
I picked her up, and although I have been making her eat, she still isn't getting any heavier. Her ribs aren't sticking out at least but somehow her weight won't increase.
I brought her to bed and then quickly cleaned everything up in the kitchen before joining her.
I would die for this woman next to me, no question.
But why do I feel like something really bad is gonna happen?