-C24- I promised I promised myself not to slip back into old habit 'Cause heartbreak is savvy and love is a bitch ——— (Harry for this chapter!!)
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(I suggest reading the readers guide so you can remember who Kevin Ridworn is.)
——— ———
Maylen Bridges
How idiotic could I be...
I let the words slip right between my teeth like it was nothing...
It was entirely to early to say such words. Knowing who he was and what he did I knew it'd make the situation more dangerous but lord knows I didn't care.
My selfish acts should've never been shown. Look where we are now. Tension lingered in thick pieces all through the back seat of the car. No one knew what was going on between Harry and I.
Honestly I didn't either...
Madrid and Haden took the nearest bus back to L.A. to meet Liam i assume after finally deciding that they've over stayed their welcome. Although it was true I have missed their annoying remarks.
It'd been a long while since I've had a visit from them let alone had weeks due of sleepovers, at first i was a bit irritated with them being in my presence, now it gets awfully lonely around this huge cottage like house wanting to feel like the only normal one.
With no doubt Harry, Niall and Zayn kept me company but they're all men at the end of the day and they've been so close for god knows how long so it's not exactly the same when it comes to Madrid and Haden.
The repeated words of Harry telling me that i shouldn't love him sat in the back of my carnival of a brain. He wasn't ready... i understood that. He had a million obstacles to face currently in his life and a four letter word is the last thing he needs to help him sleep at night.
It was wrong of me to say it. Shit.. it was wrong of me to even think it but once again i was saying my thoughts out loud like an idiot. I still wonder if he suggested that it wasn't right to love him because of what he was going through or if it was because he didn't love me back.
No i don't want to know the answer to my own question...
Why on Earth did i love him? Of course i had many reasons but i would have never thought that they'd conclude to that possibility. We were complicated together, it's never easy when it comes to us. For fucks sake I'm still trying to understand him as a person, without knowing who he truly was as a human being and not just an insanely hot drug dealer, how the hell was i in love with him?
