Psychoburners

Part 46: Broken

December 14th, 2019

    Michael and John had just returned home, afterjoining their friend Sean's Christmas Charity Livestream. Even though theyseemed happy to be there, helping and donating on the outside, things weredifferent on the inside...
- I think this went well! Right?
- ...
- Right?
- ...
- RIGHT?
- ...DID it, Michael? Did it?
- What do you mean?
- You know VERY WELL what I mean! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT?
- Say what- oh wait, you mean THAT thing?
- Yes, THAT THING!
- It was a joke!
- A JOKE? DO YOU REALLY THINK SEAN AND EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE?
- Why wouldn't they?
- Michael, do you have any idea what you've done? We're already going through a crisis this last month, that doesn't mean the WORLD has to know!
- I don't think they'll notice it THAT easily!
- Oh, is this what you think? IS THIS WHAT YOUTHINK? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT OUR FANS ARE CAPABLE OF? NO MATTER HOW GOOD WEPRETEND, A FEW ALWAYS SEE THROUGH OUR ACTING! AND THEN THE THEORIES ARE ON FIREAND THEN THEY KEEP ASKING US QUESTIONS!!!
- NOBODY FORCES US TO ANSWER THEM, YOU KNOW! We haven't shared full details of our personal lives!
- Yes, but when it HAS to do with the channel,they ALWAYS ask. Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it was for me to lie last yearwhile you were in a comma? Claiming that everything was normal and we were justtaking a long break, while I was trying to collect my broken pieces and helpyou? DO YOU?
- Don't you DARE victimize yourself again!Besides, we told them the truth when I was back to normal, didn't we? Why wouldwe worry now, it's not like we have to lie so that we take a break from thechannel!
- THEY STILL SEE THAT WE PRETEND TO BE HAPPY,MICHAEL, IN ALL OUR VIDEOS! Even those are almost saved since I edit them asmuch as I can, but BEING LIVE? Editing is NOT helping us here!
- THEN WHY THE FUCK DID WE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE?
- BECAUSE WE PROMISED SEAN! WE PROMISED WE'D HELPHIM WITH HIS CHARITY LIVESTREAM!
- HOLD ON, I DON'T REMEMBER AGREEING TO THIS! YOU PROMISED SEAN AND I JUST HAD TO FOLLOW!
- YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO, AND I WOULD FIND ANEXCUSE! DIDN'T YOU SAY NOBODY WOULD NOTICE WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON?
- THIS IS NOT WHAT I SAID, JOHN!
- OH, IT IS! AND MAYBE SEAN DIDN'T NOTICE EITHER, MAYBE HE WAS STUPID TOO!
- WELL, YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN I DO! YOU WEREALL BUDDY-BUDDY WITH HIM LAST SUMMER! I'M SURE YOU CAME REAAAAAAAALLY CLOSE!BUT HOW CLOSE, JOHN? HOW CLOSE WAS IT REALLY? WAS IT CLOSER THAN JUST BUDDIES?HUH? HUH???
    John, feeling his adrenaline and anger reach their limits, slapped Michael so strongly, that he made him almost fall to the floor; he then ran to the front door and outside, crying loudly. He used his keys to get inside Amy's house, who was in Nebraska with Jimmy since the day before, and stayed there for the night, crying more and more, until he fell asleep, having taken an important decision.
    Meanwhile, Michael was sitting on the couch,holding his cheek and recalling everything he had said to John, includingaccusing him of victimization. What had he done? Why did he say that stupid"joke? Why was his relationship with John going to Hell? Why...? Withthose confused thoughts in mind, he fell asleep too.

December 15th, 2019

    Michael was in the kitchen, feeling more tiredthan ever; he even had black circles under his eyes, like John. He was sippinghis coffee, petting Obi-Wan absent-minded, until the front door opened and Johnwalked inside, also looking tired. He stared at Michael for a mere secondbefore looking away and walking towards the bedroom. Even though he didn't showit, Michael was confused about John's presence in their bedroom. However, hedidn't have the physical or emotional strength to find out.
    Twenty minutes later, John returned, holding asuitcase and his backpack. He sighed, stared at Michael and spoke with a calmvoice:
- I have decided to leave LA for a while. Take a break from everything: YouTube, social media, our friends here... and our relationship. I believe a break will help us both figure out our emotions and what we really want from each other.
- ...A break, huh?
- Mhm. I'll stay at Amy's until the time comes to leave for the airport. All I want from you is to feed Toothless. Can you do that?
- ...Okay. Where are you going?
- ...England.